High need baby support thread

[LittleWaveyLines]

Does this sound like your baby?

1. Feeds frequently daytime
2. Feeds frequently nighttime
3. Needs to be constantly held
4. Wont sleep alone
5. Hates the car seat/pram
6. Short naps

If so - join the club! :)

Oh brilliant. After refusing to sleep all day, DS has just gone off. So I'll have no hope of getting him to bed before eastenders!

DS went through a stage of only sleeping on me. I used to trick him, by letting him fall asleep, then turning on my side while holding on to him (so he didn't really move). Then I'd either sleep like that, with him literally using my bosom for a pillow, or gradually sneak away. He's now happy to sleep next to me, as long as we remain in some sort of physical contact at all times - a foot or hand touching. Quite cute really.

Thanks girls, fingers crossed we'll get it working!
We've had shocking naps today, just three 40 minute ones, nowhere near enough. Gotta love an overtired baby!

DS had a dreadful night and has slept all day

The problem is that he will NOT be led in any way so any attempt to get him to eat/sleep/wake when he doesn't want to is greeted with loud contempt and scorn so I have been unable to wake him from his 2 x 3 hour naps. I know that sounds like a lovely problem to have but he'll want to party party party at 3am again tomorrow morning, I just know it!

One of my friends says that all our problems stem from the fact that I 'won't' put him into a routine. Ha flipping ha!

Why on earth would he want to do something he doesn't want to do?!

Helpful friend buttonmoon

Op, you've hit the nail on the head there... where has this thread been?! I'm so tired LO will only sleep on my chest, I've been trapped under her most afternoon. I've spent the weekend feeling like a crap parent. Apparently I should have my 10 week old in a routine and she should be in her own cot sleeping at least 4 hours straight!

I'm still bf every 2 hours, day and night. And I'm totally exhausted tbh... she wont be put down. Often wont be held by anyone else, some days I put her in the sling and wear her most of the day. Does it get easier? I keep being told to start cc and "just put her down and let her cry" but it goes against all my instincts.

Hope everyone's had a better day.

A total gem, no? We don't see eye to eye on many things (including the fact that she tells everyone her dc2 was sleeping through by 6wks on GF - a total fib as she told me at 6m he was still up twice!). She's more a friend of circumstance IYSWIM?

jammy stick with your instincts. You know your baby best.

Welcome Jammy

Don't let anyone make you feel like you're a crap parent for doing what you think is best for your own child! I find it useful to repeat that in my head whilst being told by someone clueless wellmeaning what I should do or should have done to sort my baby out.

We can all sympathise with the exhaustion though, you're certainly amongst people who get it! Come and join us for hot choc and biccies!

Welcome jammy

Hope everyone else is doing ok today? After our goodnight she then didn't nap till this afternoon so I've had a massively overtired baby.... ah well, she's napping now!

I did the same lying down to feed then sneaking away - or trying to anyway!

I've had a total grump for a baby today, who has cried, fed and napped (very badly) all day. I managed to get lunch by putting him in the sling, but he wasn't even happy about that. Everytime i've put him down he's screamed - joy!

Hoping for a better evening..

I've been told several times that I 'need' to get both DDs into a routine. I think people mix up routine and schedule ie we get up, change nappies, brush our teeth, have breakfast etc. That is a routine, and I point out to people that we do have routines and give examples like the breakfast one.

Getting up a 7.30 on the dot, brushing our teeth for 4 minutes, eating breakfast at 7.40- that is bonkers a schedule. This is what some people mean when they talk about routines. I find it stressful trying to stick to that kind of thing so we just play it by ear, it works better for us and it's my life so why do something because someone else thinks it's better? My DDs are not being harmed by not having a schedule.

Jammy- it gets easier! It is madness for anyone to suggest cc for a 10 week old :( You sound like you are doing a great job with your DD and don't let anyone tell you otherwise!

I couldn't do cc. I feel bad enough when I need to wee and ds starts crying. Just do what feels right. Had a tough day here too. Thought it started well as I put ds in his Moses and he fell asleep with just me rubbing his back. He woke up 30 mins later and has spent the whole day trying to sleep latched on.

Dh says he feels useless as attempts at him trying to give me a break have resulted in screaming. Two steps forward, 5 steps back. Is this another phase? He is 12 1/2 weeks.

Btw, my sister has met GF and she is not from this planet

Hi everyone. I think that my DD qualifies as a high need baby, she easily meets all 6 criteria, used to sleep in the car but sadly that has stopped and she now screams for whole journeys.

I have found it massively helpful reading all your posts, have lots of friends with babies and most have babies that are generally content/sleep in their crib/only feed every 2-3 hours. I have felt that I am an awful mother for having a baby that has been sleeping on me since she was 4 weeks (she is 10 weeks now) just so that I can get a bit of sleep. Like others I have been told to do cc (by my HV when DD was 6 weeks old) but it doesn't feel right to me so I haven't done it. She feeds every 1-2 hours in the day, though luckily she can go a little longer at night and on 4 occasions (yes, I've counted!) has slept for 4 hours at the beginning of the night. However, feeding every 1-2 hours through the night does still happen quite a lot.

Like Jammy I'm desperate to move her on from sleeping on me as I'm finding it really uncomfortable so will also be on the lookout for any ideas!

Will keep reading as its so reassuring to hear that your babies are like mine and that its maybe not that i've done things wrong as thats what I've been obsessing about until I read this thread and it had really got me down.

Welcome to all new joiners :)

Hey girls,

Just home from the doctor, for the little man's third round of jabs - I managed not to cry this time and after the shock of three needles, DS calmed down really quickly, so proud :)

Journey home was hideous though, DS screamed and hollered the whole way. Even after we'd stopped to calm him down, the second he was back in his carseat it started again :( He's made himself hoarse.

And now he's howling upstairs :( Please let this be a phase, please let this be a phase...

Aw scottygirl, don't beat yourself up. You're in good company! The only thing you've 'done' is meet your baby's needs and be a brilliant mummy. My DS (23 weeks) was feeding every 1-2 hrs overnight at 12 weeks. He now feeds at roughly 11 and 3am, which is much better although does wake at times in between and needs shushing back to sleep, at least my nips get a break though.

Hey Scottygirl Are you me? Sounds so very similar and I'm fairly sure we haven't done the same thing wrong...

tickle Poor little man :( I hate it when they cry in the car seat and there's nothing you can do but get home as quick as you can.... Hopefully he will be as right as rain tomorrow. Also my DD slept quite well after each of her jabs - managed a 3 hour stretch each time, so fingers crossed for you!

Well my DD has been an utter grump again today - but then was sick with bright yellow vomit, and had a green nappy so I think she's just not been feeling well, poor little mite. Anyone know anything about stomach upsets in EBF babies? She's knackered now but still not quite right... :(

My hv told me that they do not advise cc for the good of the baby but for the parent's sake. So its not that your baby is missing out on some vital training or parenting, its to stop you going nuts.

The Dr Sears Fussy Baby book will make you feel better about this kind of stuff, I promise. No Cry Sleep Solution has lots of little things to try.

Look at it this way, you are an adult who understands the world so its much easier to change your habits than a babies. That includes getting your partners to take them regularly. Feed em and hand em over. Dads need to develop their confidence in soothing them. They might feed every 1.5 hrs when you are there but by 4/5 months if someone plays enough peek-a-boo you should be able to get out or sleep for say 3 hours.

I think its easy for people to say its something we did to make them like this because they want to believe the opposite - theirs sleep/don't scream etc because they did it all right. Who knows but maybe their next one will be hn and they'll see we aren't wet or incompetent.

LittleWavey Keep offering lots of feeds and ignore anyone who tells you to offer water or limit feeds (that is advice for FF), hope she's better soon.

Could she be teething LWL? DS is cutting his first tooth and we have had some awesome bright green nappies from all the drool he has swallowed. Would also make her a bit grizzly.

Agree about the car screaming awfulness. It makes me the worst driver ever. The other week, DS was screaming and I was so stressed out. I sped on to our drive and hopped out the car to get him out as some random woman drove alongside me and snootily said "why didn't you indicate?" Well, I was so tired and stressed out that I actually lost it and screamed "why don't you mind your own fucking business you nosy cow?" I was still shouting after her like a mad woman as she drove away looking shocked. I hope none of the neighbours saw, I'm usually so placid.

Haha, love it Queenkong, I've been known to do things like that at times!!

Well, this morning I had a lie in!! DS didn't get up until nearly 7!! That's pretty major as he's a serial 5 o'clocker. Ok, so I did have to get up and walk him for half an hour at 4am, but it was actually worth it

Thanks Albrecht I offered lots of feeds and though she mostly refused I felt fairly sure she was well hydrated. She fed better during the night which was good.

Lol Queenkong yeah, been there! - and yes she could be teething - whinges and chews on her hands a lot - but I thought green nappies with teething was an old wives tale and untrue? Willing to be re-educated though!

Anyway - she seems a lot brighter today and although she woke up 2 hourly through the night she was easy to feed and resettles so all is good

Hope everyone else is ok today?

You may well be right LWL - I do have plenty of old wives around me to fill my head with nonsense!

Right - we're going to brave the car seat and do the weekly shop- wish me luck!

Courage!

LWL- DD2 had bright yellow vomit a few months ago. I took her to get checked out in case and the doc said that it was just because she was vomiting on an empty stomach and the best thing to do would be to keep feeding her. Breastmilk is nice and gentle on the stomach and it'll help to rehydrate your DD. If she seems out of sorts then maybe take her in for a check up, you can never be too sure with babies.

Green poo is not normally a worry if it's a one-off and if she seems otherwise healthy :)