High need baby support thread

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Does this sound like your baby?

1. Feeds frequently daytime
2. Feeds frequently nighttime
3. Needs to be constantly held
4. Wont sleep alone
5. Hates the car seat/pram
6. Short naps

If so - join the club! :)

I second a mei tei, I love mine and its simple to put on. When DS was smaller I used a stretchy but I find it doesn't feel as sturdy now he's heavier so don't use it really now. I have been thinking about an SSC - Titania which one do you have?

Jen - I have a Rose & Rebellion which I got pre-loved on natural mamas (have a look on the R&R website they're so so pretty) Apparently they come up small though which is fine for us as DS is teeny. I also had a stretchy when DS was a newborn which i loved but I couldn't wrap it tight enough to feel safe when he started really wriggling so it's gone to a friend for her newborn.

I've had 5 sessions with the Cranial Osteopath in the last couple of months since my DS has his TT snipped. I went as he screamed on his back, in the pram or carseat and his feeding was awful. It's only in the last 2 weeks (so took 4 sessions for us) that I've really noticed a difference. He hasn't screamed in his carseat in 2 weeks and went from gaining 3-4 oz a week to gaining 13 in the last 2 weeks ( and has gone from the 0.4 to the 2nd centile).

I used to say that co-sleeping and a good sling were the best things I discovered for making my life easy with a hard to please baby but I would now add a Cranial Osteopath to the list (and DS is asleep for the third time today - whoop).

Oh also meant to say that there are supposed to be lots of fake ergos on eBay at the moment. Someone at my sling meet fell foul. No idea how to spot a fake one but might be something to be aware of.

If getting an eBay ergo get it from an authorised dealer or if the seller has a receipt. Personally I wouldn't risk it.

Fraktious / Eau Rouge am tempted by a ring sling for hip carries - what do you think? I'm not confident enough yet to do back carries and DS is still so small (in size) but he wants to be able to see what's going on more than he can on my front.

Either a RS or a size 2 woven. I quite like our shortie woven for hip carries and if I pluck up the courage I might even RTUB with it one day.

I did a hip carry with DD1, DD2 prefers a front carry though. Back carries are easy once you get the hang of using a ring sling, I did a back carry with DD1 quite recently.

Thanks for the heads up about Ergos.

Ooh those Rose & Rebellion ones are gorgeous! Hmmmm Christmas is coming! I also wonder whether DS would like a hip carry though?

I think DD1 liked a hip carry because she could have a good look around at everything/one but still be very close to me and see my face. DD2 is much more cuddly and not bothered about needing to see everything so is happier in a front carry. Different babies like different things so you could give it a go. They will soon let you know if they're not happy

DS is a nosey bugger very alert so I'd imagine would like the hip carry, however he also quite likes a nap in there sometimes and he usually burrows into me to do so, so perhaps the front carry is better for now ... or perhaps I should have both options! It's easy to see how people end up with lots of slings

I have an ergo and love it, but it's more an out and about carrier than for in the house. Have cooked dinner with ds in it. I have heard about the fake scam and wouldn't risk second hand. On the plus side it's very easy to use and I can easily carry a toddler (practiced with friends two year old).

BBs are evil. I feel really sorry for babies in the outward position, their poor hips.

We have a beco and a stretchy! The beco rocks tho as the buckles are quick and easy to put on plus DD seems to like having a bit more room to move in the beco.

Urgh, rubbish night, DS very wriggly all night and then pretty much awake from 4.30.

At least the sun is shining here currently and I reckon we might take a walk out to the library in the sling later. How's everyone else doing?

Not too good here either - took until 10 to get him to sleep. Up at 1, 3 and 5 and 6. Joy. Did get him to have a nap at 7.30 for an hour (I also went back to bed too).

We're off to the German Christmas Market in the sling for a hot chocolate or maybe a Gluhwein (small glass obv.)

Morning fellow frazzled mums! Felt like DS was feeding all night last night, was having newborn flashbacks. Wonder if the increased feeding is because he's 5.5 months now so getting ready for solids? Or could be tooth-related I s'pose. Got my first nip from Fang this morning. Yowsers. I must have yelped because DH woke up and said "he just bit you didn't he?"

Was wondering, do any of your little monsters angels really fidget while they're feeding. I get flailing arm and legs, eye rubbing, boob pummelling and t-shirt pulling. Is this another HN thing? He constantly seems to be moving, even if he is just rubbing his feet together or squeezing my finger. It's like feeding a ferret sometimes.

at gluwein. Is it too early to crack open the Xmas baileys?

I have a wriggly, scratchy baby too. He likes pulling awat suddenly so I flash the world at large and more often than not fountain milk everywhere beofre scrabbling frantically to reattach. I've often gazed in envy at people with placid babies who lie there, suck and then pop off and smile in a sleepy, beattific way.

A million times yes. I just had my glasses swiped off my face, and regularly have a wriggly DS pounding my chest and boob. He's certainly no gentleman at the moment!

Last night was atrocious... DS is going through some mad phase (I hope) - we do the last feed before DH and I turn in, and after he is winded and put down his arms and legs start flailing around in his sleep. Then he stops and is sleeping peacefully. Then 15 seconds later the flapping and bicycling of legs starts again. For hours. Or until he wakes himself up and cries. Then we resettle him, and it all begins again. And then at 4 or 5 in the morning we end up having him on one of us to try and snatch at least an hour or so of sleep.

I'm worried as it looks like he is possessed when he is flailing in his sleep like that - am hoping it's developmental, it only started this week. We are resorting to getting the swaddling out again tonight, thought we were done with that

Hello all!! Tickle- hope it is just a phase!! My ds is also a fidget!! Pops on and off for a nosy, sneaks thumb in mouth and fingers and breaks latch , bounces with his legs and seems too busy to feed sometimes!! I dread the next time I have to feed if out and about as I look like I'm force-feeding him!!! My head is wrecked with this sleep and feed business too. Started reading up on sleep solutions as I feel I have to try and improve things as they are not getting any better! I wouldn't mind a feed or even 2 at night but we are getting a bit ridiculous tbh! I'm so scared of ending up with a baby/ toddler who still feeds at night, but I'm so torn- arghhhh!!! Do I just trust ds and go with it, or should I implement routine and some sort of sleep training??? I'm afraid of letting things go too far - my sisters wee boy won't go to bed until they do at 11pm and he's 2 1/2!! And she thinks it's because she didn't start him in a routine early enough!

Fraktious- you could be me with your feeding story. A stupidly fast let down doesn't help! I've found when feeding out and about that putting a muslin over DS's head so there's nothing interesting to see helps a lot!

Mampig - I've been battling with whether to try some kind of sleep training or not too. I get myself all geared up to try something only to back out at the last minute for one reason or another (DS has a cold, DP is going away for work, there's a 'y' in the day) . I guess I'm not ready for it

Which technique were you thinking of trying?

I got a Dr Sears book out of the library today and a lot of his stuff feels right for me. As much as possible I feel like I want to just roll with it and trust my instincts rather than attempt to conform to what others do (even if they've had success). Its hard to do though! I guess if/when I reach the end if my tether I'll have to reassess though.

Whoever said earlier in this thread about releasing their inner hippy couldn't be more true for me. I never would have guessed that this would be what would feel right, but here I am!

Jee- I've got no cry sleep solution so will be using that - initially anyway!! I'd be soo happy to run with things if return to full time work wasn't looming.

There's nothing hippy about responding to your baby :)

I'm not supposed to have opinions (LOL) as a peer supporter, but if I'm honest I'm massively, hugely, totally opposed to sleep training in all its forms. Especially with a high needs baby (clue's in the word "need").

I do recognise that sometimes there is a balance between the mental health of a parent and the needs of a baby, so I can honestly say (despite being so against it) that I don't "judge" people who use it in extremis, but it worries me terribly.

There, I've said it.

Yeah, that would definitely be a major reason to reassess! The thought of returning to work scares the shit out of me. Will you be using a nursery?

The no cry sleep solution looks good, be great to hear how you get on

Actually I think this kind of parenting is quite sciencey, there's a lot of evidence to back up baby wearing, co-sleeping, feeding on demand etc. and if you think of it in terms of evolution and compare parenting to closely related species (like other large primates) then they all do similar things.

Things like sleep training and scheduled feeding are very new and are for convenience (or necessity in a lot of cases) rather than for the baby's benefit.

When I say 'convenience', I don't mean so the parents are not bothered by it, but in our society where a lot of times both parents need to work to afford to live it is not convenient to be woken 3 or 4 times a night. Humans are not evolved to work this way but that's the way our society is.