Sleepless in Newcastle...please help!

[popsycalindisguise]

Technically I suppose this ought to be in sleep but it si so instrinsically tied up with breast feeding that I thought it might be better suited here.

DS2 will be 9 months this week and has not yet slept in his cot for more than a few hours at a time. Actually, he has not ever slept for more than a few hours at a time.

He is fully breastfed and, of course, on solids too now. During the early days, I was persuaded that the easiest way to deal with the 2 hour feeding day and night was co-sleeping and reluctantly brought him into bed with me. Now I cant get him out.

Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against co-sleeping and night feeding but it is getting ridiculous. FIVE TIMES between 12 and 5 he woke last night. He still wakes for a 10pm feed. Even if I put him in his cot, I wake later and he is in bed with me and I have my top around my neck and can't remember when or how he got in the bed.

DS1 wakes between 5 and 6 most days.

Last night I got 1 hour and 20 minutes sleep.

I know what I can do, but I work full time and dont have the energy to make a stand.

Any advice/support/sympathy may help!

Seriously though.
I need help.

i am think then that I need to try to push back this middle of the night feed (which is normlallly betwenn 1 and 2 tbh) so that the final waking is more humane

I think it definetely count as a good night!

I have been working on pushing DS first feeding, and was all smug (and worried!) the other day when his first wwhimpering seemed to be at 6 Am! He was falling back asleep on his own, but I was so worried that he had magicaly gone the whole way that went pick him up (practically waking him up!) and brought to back. Then was tortured for many hours inconfortable with him feeding every 15 min. After a long time of this it dawn on me that DD has been playing with the clock that afternoon and it was still the middle of the night! Silly me! and I already worked out all the whole msg I was going to write on MN about the amazing miracle....

Hope things continue to improve!

and so he lulled me into a false sense of security
grrrr

Dear Popsy was wondering how things are going with you now??
My DS is five months and a beautiful boy in every respect but sleeps very badly. Just read your thread today and it is so similar-I know your ds2 is older but am back at work in 8 weeks so want to try and get things sorted. My DH though wonderful in many many ways has been urging me to let him 'cry it out' since he was six weeks old and is not at all into the co-sleeping thing. i had a bit of a shock when I looked back at a diary I kept in his first few weeks and realised that he has not improved at all-still 6-8 wakenings a night culminating in me taking him into our bed. I have no problem with one or two night feeds at this age or even older-it's the failure to settle for a long stretch after a night feed and habitual wakenings that kill me. Anyway just wondered if yu had a non CC success story to give me heart.

HI there folks

Have neem meaning to update but have been struggling with a variety of things culminating in a near car carsh yesterday when I think I fell aslep at the whell for a split second...

Anyway - disregarding last night (which somehow became the co-sleeping night from hell), things have improved.....

I have been going to bed later (me and DH have been watching the first series of 'lost' back to back.....) and he has been waking later for the dream feed.....

For the last week or so, the pattern has been:bed at 7ish, feed at 11ish, feed at 4ish, then unsettled til about 6:30ish. Ds1 has been ill though but dh has been dealing with him.

Co-sleeping makes ds2 way worse but because he has been dream feeding later, I keep lying down to feed then dropping off.....much more settled in his cot.

He has been really snuffly (wondering if he is getting what ds1 has) so has gone to bed with a small dose of medised (sssshhhhhh dont tell anyone) so we will see what happens

sorry for tyoping

ok
so now i feel the need for controlled crying

Has anyone got any more suggestions.
I really don't want to do it but I really can't go on ike this much longer
we are back to waking every 2-3 hours ....four times last night before i even went to bed

please?
anyone?

I can not describe how desperate the situation is making me

Popsycal, I feel so bad for you. I didn't want you to think no-one was interested so wanted to post my experience. My situation was nowhere near as bad as yours but I sort of did controlled crying with DS (it wasn't planned, just happened one day when I'd had enough) just before Xmas and it worked straight away.

After months of him waking in the night and staying awake for hours, he'd started sleeping until 5am but then started really playing up at going back to sleep after his feed. I therefore decided he wasn't hungry and tried to settle him without it. It worked for a while but then he started playing up again and waking even earlier so one morning when he'd been awake for over an hour, I just decided 'enough's enough' and walked out the room leaving him in his cot (I sleep in the same room as him, like you). He screamed so I went back in after 5 minutes, sshhhed him, gave him his blankie and walked out again. I did the same 5 minutes later and a few minutes after that, he stopped crying and went to sleep The following night, he woke at 5 again, chatted to himself and then went back to sleep, the following night was the same and then after that, he started sleeping until sometime after 6. On the whole, he's been good ever since then although when he's poorly (now) and teething we still get bad nights and it always takes a few nights to settle him down again.

Not sure if this will help but I sooooo hope things get better for you.

Popsy, also meant to add that because I was in the same room as DS, I spent a few nights sleeping on the sofa so that I din't wake him and so he didn't 'sense' I was in the room when he woke.

thanks so much for replying

I started another thread in desperation in the sleep section and am going to start a sort of form of CC
tpnight i think

Popsycal, I just wanted to say that I really feel for you. I know how hard you've tried other methods of getting DS2 to learn to sleep, and you can only go so far without sleep. I shall keep my fingers crossed for you tonight.

well i have given in and am CCing - see please please help me thread in sleep tpoic