Sleepless in Newcastle...please help!

[popsycalindisguise]

Technically I suppose this ought to be in sleep but it si so instrinsically tied up with breast feeding that I thought it might be better suited here.

DS2 will be 9 months this week and has not yet slept in his cot for more than a few hours at a time. Actually, he has not ever slept for more than a few hours at a time.

He is fully breastfed and, of course, on solids too now. During the early days, I was persuaded that the easiest way to deal with the 2 hour feeding day and night was co-sleeping and reluctantly brought him into bed with me. Now I cant get him out.

Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against co-sleeping and night feeding but it is getting ridiculous. FIVE TIMES between 12 and 5 he woke last night. He still wakes for a 10pm feed. Even if I put him in his cot, I wake later and he is in bed with me and I have my top around my neck and can't remember when or how he got in the bed.

DS1 wakes between 5 and 6 most days.

Last night I got 1 hour and 20 minutes sleep.

I know what I can do, but I work full time and dont have the energy to make a stand.

Any advice/support/sympathy may help!

Seriously though.
I need help.

well done popsy!!!!!! wish i had your strength at the mo. dd is 16 months and still wakes 2/3 times per night (and sleeps with me).my dp is in a bed in spare room .
What makes it worse is that i am pg again(i think) but no idea how far on.imagine if i have to feed both of them??? bf my ds2 till he was 2.5 so god knows what will happen.

tipex...I was just looking at that very book on amazon.....

popsy dont order it! im positive ive got it

i will look for it and you can come over and get it or i can bring it to you

actually why dont you bring ds2 over on thurs am? have a coffee and i can have a cuddle (of ds2! you can have one too if you like )

Popsy - have you tried putting one of your nighties in the cot with him? I had a friend who did that and it stopped the night wakings

Popsycal - well done!

my ds was like this on and off - sometimes sleeping through sometimes not at this age (well till about 12mo really).
What I did was - dh would give ds a bottle of ebm or formula at bedtime and put ds to bed. Dream feed at 10.30 ish with ebm or formula again - ds never woke - just drank maybe 4oz milk. Then if he woke after this dh would get up and try cuddling back to sleep or sometimes offer bottle. If all else failed - ds would come into bed with us. But I had a bra and nighty on - so ds couldn't get near boobies.
Will your ds take a bottle? I found it v. useful to see how much he was actually drinking - so if he was taking the piss - it would be 1oz - but sometimes he was genuinely hungry and would guzzle 4 or 5 oz. Once he was a bit older - I would just leave a bottle of ebm or formula in his cot and he would find it himself if he woke.

Think Dinasour's strategy sounds great and good thats its already started. Try and be really firm about not going to sleep on the boob at bedtime (easier than in the middle of the night when you are in zombie mode). Does DH have a lenghty period off work over Christmas? Could you work on the night wakings then? Personally I think that it will be better for DS2 as well. Also have you tried to extend DS1's waking up time with a bunny clock or light on a timer?

the night was dreadful.....
woke at 10:40 for feed.......ut him back in cot..stayed there for 10 mins then woke screaming....

did this until midnight
then brought him into bed and he was on and off the boob all night

but anyway
small steps!!
I will try putting an item of clothing of mine in his cot....good idea

bozza.....i have a light timer and meant to put it in a few weeks ago....will do that now.....thanks

ooo ooo ooo popsy i have a fab little white noise machine - wonder if that would help?

worked a treat for harvey works the same as shhhhhhhh shhhhhhhhhh in his ear but its triggered by noise so if he wakes and cries it kicks in. Hopefully he can have a new association with this instead of boob? Thats how i did it anyway

oooh yes please!!!
he loves the washing machine.......
Can I get that tomorrow too???

yep of course - it is actually a teddy bear with the noise machine in his tummy. But you can also take it of the bear and just have it in the cot. It needs batteries I think but it defintiely worked for DS - I used to put it in with him on naps, when he was sleeping away from home etc so that he always had the same association.

sorry to crash into this thread but want to send you my sympathies - I have had similar probs with all mine and never really found a satisfactory answer. The only thing really I tried was controlled crying but that was very half-hearted because I couldn't bear it.

My youngest still wakes a few times a night although touch wood stays in her cot afer I've been in and covered her up etc, but before that she was in with us and on and off the boob all night. She would be really fidgety and twisty too and I thought well I'll just try her in her cot and she actually stayed there for a few hours. With hinsdisght I wonder if she was trying to tell us by fidgeting that she wanted her own space (or perhaps that's just bollocks)

ok so tonight not as easy...
happiy ent in cot and played for 10 minutes or so.....i had a line of toys so that when he started getting restless I gave him a different one...
then he started crying....just whinging at first but then full on crying
so pick him up and he immediately started dropping off...was tempted todo pick up put down but decided i would let him settle but was adamant that he would go in cot before fully asleep....
first time half asleep cried straight away...full onbig crying. picked up calmed nd dropping off again
back in cot...more crying....
same again
final time whinging.....strokd his head and put my hand firmly on his back....1 minute later

popsy you are doing brill - I am absolutely crap at this and would have caved in by now I am sure....

When he is in bed with you does he settle and sleep, when not slurping away that is?

in between slurpping yes...

well (someone will shoot me down in flames for saying this I know they will, I just know it, but I would have him in with me then!

If I thought it would work with DD I would even start bringing her back in, but on the rare occasions I have she fidgets and rolls (and now stands up and shakes the headboard like a baby King Kong in his cage) .

that is what i have been doing.....

but i am working full time and i get woken up by him abtou 5 times a night....
not had more than about 3 hours unbroken sleep in 9 months....may even be less mor broken than that

yes me to re: the working. I wonder if sometimes that is why we get into these predicaments with sleep and stuff, like we don't see them all day so at night we think oh that is my time with him/her I haven't seen him/her all day and secretly I think I'm a caree-minded bitch, and we maybe give in to them a bit even though we know they don't need to be fed etc...

Am not explaining very well but I know what I mean. Or maybe should just take out all the above references to "we" and change to "I" because maybe it is just me.

totally agree with you there allyco!!

see my post of 1:14pm today for overnight disaster

Good work, Agent Popsycal. He will get there, honest he will.