Please please anyone give me advice on what to do, I am at the end of my wits. My DS is very nearly 3. I am breastfeeding and planing to bf until he self-weans. We are co-sleeping and I generally practice AP or something similar. We have a great bond (although on a day like this I fear I am destroying it). He wakes up 5-6 times a night to bf. I really can't take it anymore. I think it is literally killing me. I developed insomnia and headaches, and recently started to fly into rages at night. I do not hit him, but I yell like there is no tomorrow. It happens automatically, I do not seem to have any control over myself. He cries, but still asks for breast and until I give in he does not give in. Then he goes to sleep and I of course not. I cry feeling exhausted and guilty for my outbursts. He seems fine in the morning, but it seems to me that he prefers the company of other as mama is always tired and "needs a sleep". Only if I could! I am paying for a nanny to come in the morning so I can sleep, but I can't anyway. I am just lying here crying, thinking it just does not work, I am an "attached" parent by day and a horrible screaming mother by night. Not every night is like this by no means, but they becoming increasingly frequent. Whereas in the past they were rare, then they started to happen every 2 months, then I made a resolution to myself to control myself, it lasted for about 3 months and then I lapsed. Then they started to happen every month and tonight was second in a row after last week's one. I am really worried that I scare my DS. He is definitely less affectionate to me and is happy to run to the nanny in the morning, away from me. Then when I get up, he talks to me normally, but does not want to play with me and wants to play only with the nanny. But at night he does not give me any respite. How do you wean from nighttime feedings? I tried to put him into his bed, which is next to our bed. He has no interest, he only goes there, when I am yelling. I am yelling that he can have the breast again in the morning, but not at night. He says yes, and 2 hours later as if nothing happens he wakes up and ask for the breast, he tags at me, he jumps on me and so on. Sometimes he seems to sleep only 5-6 hours a night and seems fine in the morning. I have been going to bed at the same time as him and having naps with him during the day, but as soon as he wakes up first time at 11pm and then at 1am, often after that I cannot fall asleep until about 4am, and then in the morning he has feeding even more frequently, every half an hour. I sleep on average 2 hours a night and sometimes go without any sleep for a week. He eats fine during the day. And of couse, I talked to him about not waking me up at night during the day, in a normal voice and affectionately. He say yes, I will not wake you up, mama, but he goes on normally, waking up 5-6 times, without seemingly remembering our talks. Sorry, this is long. I am desperate for some advise from long-term breasfeeders and attached parents. Do I have to give up breastfeeding, how do I keep our bond?