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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Is there an 'extended' breastfeeding support thread?

652 replies

Unrulysun · 22/05/2011 11:48

Or would I be better off on LLL?

Just read the 'school-age children' thread with interest but didn't want to derail :)

dd is 1 today so it's not 'extended' bf by any normal definition but judging by the number of 'Are you going to carry on breastfeeding her?' (yes because otherwise she'll be composed primarily of grapes) conversations I've had inflicted on me in the last week I think I'm going to need all the support I can get Grin

so proud we made it this far - ha ha!

OP posts:
thesurgeonsmate · 04/11/2011 14:28

Interesting harverina. I think we're nearly at a stage where dd could express an informed preference. (Can say "cup!") I have noticed that recently the middle of the night feed is getting longer and longer. Used to take about 10 mins. Now can be over 20. This is dd wanting three, four or more breasts. I'm tempted to think she's just expressing a preference for continuing the cuddle, but maybe she really would like more milk....

AngelDog · 04/11/2011 21:41

mawbroon, how did the endoscopy go - was it last week?

thesurgeonsmate, my 22 m.o. DS does that, asking for more 'sides' in the night, and at bedtime too (not naptime oddly). I think it's because feeding to sleep doesn't really working nowadays - he asks for more milk because he knows he needs to keep going till he falls asleep and he's not asleep yet.

Now once he's had 1 or 2 sides I ask if he wants more milk or rocking. Usually he says 'rocking' so I rock him back to sleep. Now he's getting to the point where he'll feed a bit on one side and then ask for 'rocking' of his own accord.

Could it be teething? I thought DS's not-always-feeding to sleep was teething related (it used to be) but I'm less sure now, since he's only got a quarter of a tooth left to go.

thesurgeonsmate · 05/11/2011 19:28

AngelDog - it's just like you describe. I don't feed to sleep exactly, but it feels as though there's a certain "zonked out" sensation that dd is looking for before she'll go back to bed.

AngelDog · 07/11/2011 21:53

Yes, sounds familiar, thesurgeons - in the night, DS feeds, then rolls over and goes to sleep - or at least he used to.

I am currently exhausted as I have to lie on my back & bounce him on my chest when he wakes. Sometimes I fall asleep before I can roll him off. It's killing my back (I have problems with it) and making me really tired. He weighs over 2.5 stone - he is a 99th centile monster. Hmm

The short-term solution is to get up & rock him in the chair, but that's just too much effort at 3am.

My feathers were rumpled today by a friend telling me I should ask the doctor for a referral to a sleep consultant because DS 'really ought to be able to self-settle by now'. Hmm She's just smug because she has a child who doesn't wake in the night.

Mibby · 14/01/2012 22:01

Can i join? DD is 14 months and still feeding 2-4 times a day. Usually is 2, morning and night, on the days i work and extra ones pre-nap when we're at home. She will take a bottle on the odd occasions i go out in the evening but usually has a massive feed the next morning. We originally aimed to do six months bf, then to a year but I cant see her stopping anytime soon :)

cottonheadedninnymuggins · 14/01/2012 22:04

Hmm, not sure if I'm posting in the right place but anyway... I'm after a bit of advice, not knowing anyone who has breastfed past a year or anyone I could talk to about this. My DD is 4.4 now (wow, where did that time go?!) and still bf at night a couple of times to sooth herself back to sleep at certain parts of a sleep cycle and on waking. It's entirely a comfort thing, and something I've been fine with as I want to be able to be there for her in that way and we co-sleep. It's just that I'm not convinced that she will ever self-wean, as she bfs in her sleep and when dozy. I'm contemplating going on the pill (not the mini-pill as it doesn't agree with me) and wondering whether it would pass into my milk and affect her, or dry up my milk. The latter may be a solution to helping her wean, but then again!

Advice on when comfort feeders show signs of stopping and whether I can safely go on the pill would be hugely welcomed!

GladysLeap · 14/01/2012 22:35

See kellymom for your Pill query.

I had to forcibly wean my DD at 4.3 years because of starting chemotherapy. That was 7 months ago and she's still asking for it :( Chances are yours won't give up without a fight.

cottonheadedninnymuggins · 14/01/2012 23:26

Thanks, Gladys. I'd completely forgotten about Kellymom and that link certainly answered my question :)

Forcibly stopping must have been v hard for you both after all that time. How was your DD? I hope the chemo went well too.

GladysLeap · 15/01/2012 12:55

The up-side of her being so much older was that she was able to understand "mummy is poorly and her medicine is poisonous", so she didn't make much fuss at the time. It's just now she keeps asking :(

Chemo was nasty but a necessary evil. Thanks for asking.

greenlegs · 26/02/2012 00:14

Hello all

This thread is quiet, but I assume some of you are still out there?

DS1 is 21 months and I'm wondering if he's overly attached to boob.

He's never taken to a bottle but he's a 'good eater'. He goes to nursery 3 short days a week and goes without any milk, but when I collect him he likes to sit me down and have a quick feed. He'll also quite happily demand a feed anywhere and any time during the day while we're out, mostly if it's coming up to his nap time. It's very hard to refuse him because he'll pull at my close and repeatedly shout for it. We co-sleep and sometimes he'll feed for so long at night that I have to plead for sleep.

Is this level of boob-attachment unusual in a 21 month old? Aren't most toddlers either day or night weaned by this stage?

slowburner · 26/02/2012 00:28

green legs could have written that exact post about my 19mo DD, she still feeds all night, morning, afternoon evening etc. Nursery days she had a morning feed while I doze, breakfast, then four huge nursery meals, I collect her and she signs for milk as soon as we get in she is pulling at me. I feed her and she does that happy face, then milk again before bed. I'm not even considering trying to encourage her to change her feeds until she is two, thou I am considering night weaning and we are gently trying it at present.

Pyrrah · 27/02/2012 00:22

Help!

My DD is 2.9 and utterly boob-addicted. If she could she would still feed every 2-3 hours day and night - and if she is ill and I am around it is like having a limpet!

We all co-sleep which is lovely and we're happy will - but I am so done with the night feeding. I haven't had a full night of sleep in 3 years and the negatives are fast outweighing the positives.

Ideally I'd like to do 1-2 nursing sessions a day - maybe morning and bedtime - until she decides to stop, but I am so done with the rest to the point where I could face dropping the whole lot.

I'm also keen to PT but it seems that it would be hard for a child who drinks all blooming night to stay dry?

Madam is very bright, very determined and very persistent - nothing is ever 2 or 3 days of tears and then she learns. It took 22 months to stop screaming for every trip in the car from the second she got into the seat till she was taken out shaking and hysterical. Babysitters have refused to return as she'd easily scream 4 hours plus... nightmare.

PTing has been a complete disaster so far - she can easily stay dry and use the potty but has decided not to and gets hysterical if it's even mentioned. I've been sent a 3 day method by a friend but it involves them not having drinks at night - so now in catch 22...

If anyone has advice on night-weaning a co-sleeping child who is adamant that mummy milk is going to be on the menu for as long as possible and who is likely to be very resistant to stopping? DH is going away for work for a week next Sunday which gives me a week to try and do this without waking him up all night with me and DD fighting over ownership of the boobs!

mendipgirl · 27/02/2012 16:34

Hi, I haven't read the whole thread so sorry if i'm asking the same question as someone else. DD2 is 1 now and I still BF morning and evening and more when I'm not at work. When I'm not there she won't have a bottle and seems fine. However in April I have to go away for work for 2 days so she won't have any feeds. I'm not sure what to suggest to DH or if there is anything I can do to prepare her. I think she will probably be fine without her morning feed but I'm more worried about what he will do at bedtime. I don't feed her to sleep but she does have a routine of feed, bath, feed, bed. Should he just put her to bed after her bath or try her with a cup of milk??

Also do you think I'll need to express whilst away or will my boobs cope?

Like everyone else never thought I would be in this situation, DD1 was BF for a month until she lost so much weight we had to move to FF. DD2 has been so easy and absoultely loves BF that I've no idea of when I'll stop.

greenlegs · 27/02/2012 18:45

Thanks slowburner
Sounds it's not so unusual after all!

slowburner · 27/02/2012 21:27

T help night wean I was advised by a friend today who recently manage it to wear a buttoned up top or nightie with tiny buttons to make it impossible to give in. I wear a bra at night anyway but I know others have suggested that can help.

mendipgirl will watch with interest as I go away in may for a week with work and I'm really quite concerned about DD. Getting the pump out next week to build up a freezer stash, but it'll be an ideal time for DH to cope with night weaning!

NAR4 · 28/02/2012 13:47

I think it is a great idea and would love to join. My baby is 1 on Sunday and I have had sooo many people ask me if I am going to stop breastfeeding then. She still feeds roughly every 2 hours day and night, so I can see it continuing for quite a while yet. People do think its odd and should be done in private by this age, i.e. only for bedtime.

Pyrrah · 29/02/2012 00:50

I've been pretty lucky - I live in central London and am completely shameless and feed DD all over the place... buses, tube, walking round supermarkets, restaurants, museums etc

I'm able to feed without showing the entire world my assets which probably helps, but even so I had braced myself for comments once she turned one.

I've had one unpleasant comment - an American woman at a dinner party told me it was disgusting (DD wasn't there, it just came up in conversation) and I was over the moon when a 50-something man turned round and told her that the words breastfeeding and disgusting shouldn't be used in the same sentence, that he had been BF'd for 2 years and his sisters all did EBF.

I'm planning to start the nightweaning tomorrow - I will be wearing a combination of swim-suit and layers to bed... madam can undo buttons and bras are no obstacle and I also need to wear something that doesn't enable me to give in at 3am for a quiet life!

greenlegs · 01/03/2012 22:39

How did your night weaning go Pyrrah?

jodidi · 02/03/2012 21:15

Hi, I'd like to join too. Dd2 is 2 on Thursday and still quite a booby addict. She only feeds 2-3 times a day but that's not really her choice, it's because I am at work full time and we night weaned a few weeks ago (she now sleeps from 7:30pm - 6:30am, bliss) On days when I'm at home she also feeds to sleep for her nap.

TheSurgeonsMate · 03/03/2012 14:48

mendip my dh puts dd to bed from time to time, not very regularly. I think he reads books with her while she has a cup of milk. As I understand it she sometimes goes to bed just the thing and on other occasions he has to resort to letting her fall asleep on him in front of the telly.

slowburner · 04/03/2012 22:27

We had some success on the night weaning. DH has been off ill for a week so when he got over the worst if it I was on muy knees from also having had it, and dealing with a toddler who was waking every hour, and 18 of 3+ wake ups a night so he took over. I have had three, yes three, glorious nights sleeping midnight until seven, DD has woken but DH has managed ti settle her. DH thinks as he is working tomorrow I should sleep in there tonight but I'm concerned it'll undo all the hard work and have suggested he deals with her this week and then as of the weekend we'll try getting her back to sleeping in her cot.

Daytime feeds have suddenly dropped again from every few hours to just morning and evening, DD is eating more, napping better and generally happier, might be teething settling down, or something developmental but hey i'll enjoy it while it lasts!

TheSurgeonsMate · 09/03/2012 11:38

Does anyone have a feeling about this: I'm going away for two nights soon, and really would rather not take a pump. For that length of time, I've always pumped and dumped in the past, but I think supply was more of a critical issue then. DD is 21 months now and feeds at bedtime, in the night if she wakes and some mornings. Is it worth manually expressing in the bath or shower when I'm away? I've never really done it for any quantity of milk. Would doing some be better than doing nothing?

wendieann · 13/03/2012 19:39

My DD6 was 4 when she stopped. It really wasn't her stopping, it was me! She was days before her 4th birthday. She would nurse before nursery school, after, and at bedtime. Of course when she got hurt too.. :P

My family started getting mad and making comments to me, directly infront of her, and I thought it was inappropriate it. As she could understand!!

I'll cherish my time with her... Glad I did, and I applaud others who do what's best for them!

worrynot · 08/05/2012 07:03

Please please anyone give me advice on what to do, I am at the end of my wits. My DS is very nearly 3. I am breastfeeding and planing to bf until he self-weans. We are co-sleeping and I generally practice AP or something similar. We have a great bond (although on a day like this I fear I am destroying it). He wakes up 5-6 times a night to bf. I really can't take it anymore. I think it is literally killing me. I developed insomnia and headaches, and recently started to fly into rages at night. I do not hit him, but I yell like there is no tomorrow. It happens automatically, I do not seem to have any control over myself. He cries, but still asks for breast and until I give in he does not give in. Then he goes to sleep and I of course not. I cry feeling exhausted and guilty for my outbursts. He seems fine in the morning, but it seems to me that he prefers the company of other as mama is always tired and "needs a sleep". Only if I could! I am paying for a nanny to come in the morning so I can sleep, but I can't anyway. I am just lying here crying, thinking it just does not work, I am an "attached" parent by day and a horrible screaming mother by night. Not every night is like this by no means, but they becoming increasingly frequent. Whereas in the past they were rare, then they started to happen every 2 months, then I made a resolution to myself to control myself, it lasted for about 3 months and then I lapsed. Then they started to happen every month and tonight was second in a row after last week's one. I am really worried that I scare my DS. He is definitely less affectionate to me and is happy to run to the nanny in the morning, away from me. Then when I get up, he talks to me normally, but does not want to play with me and wants to play only with the nanny. But at night he does not give me any respite. How do you wean from nighttime feedings? I tried to put him into his bed, which is next to our bed. He has no interest, he only goes there, when I am yelling. I am yelling that he can have the breast again in the morning, but not at night. He says yes, and 2 hours later as if nothing happens he wakes up and ask for the breast, he tags at me, he jumps on me and so on. Sometimes he seems to sleep only 5-6 hours a night and seems fine in the morning. I have been going to bed at the same time as him and having naps with him during the day, but as soon as he wakes up first time at 11pm and then at 1am, often after that I cannot fall asleep until about 4am, and then in the morning he has feeding even more frequently, every half an hour. I sleep on average 2 hours a night and sometimes go without any sleep for a week. He eats fine during the day. And of couse, I talked to him about not waking me up at night during the day, in a normal voice and affectionately. He say yes, I will not wake you up, mama, but he goes on normally, waking up 5-6 times, without seemingly remembering our talks. Sorry, this is long. I am desperate for some advise from long-term breasfeeders and attached parents. Do I have to give up breastfeeding, how do I keep our bond?

spiderlight · 08/05/2012 12:05

Oh Worrynot, you sound absolutely exhausted, bless you :( Might it be time to try him sleeping in his own room for at least part of the night? My little boy moved into his 'big-boy bed' at 2 1/2 and has actually slept much, much better in there (although I missed him terribly at first!) - maybe the nivelty of his own bed and some lovely new bedclothes that he chooses would break the cycle of repeated waking? For us, it didn't break the bond at all and he's still breastfeeding at bedtime (he's just turned 5 and says he's going to BF for ever...Confused )

I hope you find a solution. You sound totally worn out.