Is there an 'extended' breastfeeding support thread?

[Unrulysun]

Or would I be better off on LLL?

Just read the 'school-age children' thread with interest but didn't want to derail :)

dd is 1 today so it's not 'extended' bf by any normal definition but judging by the number of 'Are you going to carry on breastfeeding her?' (yes because otherwise she'll be composed primarily of grapes) conversations I've had inflicted on me in the last week I think I'm going to need all the support I can get

so proud we made it this far - ha ha!

Hi, can I join in on this thread? I assume "extended Bfing" is over 1yr?

My DD is nearly 13 months now and breastfeeding without problems. I have been very lucky this time with her as I have found BF very easy with her and no problems at all. With my DS though I really struggled as he didn't want to latch on and I got given bad advice so I coulnd't BF, but I fed him expressed milk till nearly 11 months.
This time I am happy that I have gone beyond a year with DD.
She is at nursery now, started last week. Settling in going not too well, as she is really missing me (and DH too, as she is fine without me when DH was looking after her), but hoping she will start liking it soon.

She is not having any milk during nursery, but makes up for it at night We co-sleep so it's not too much of a faff at the moment.

DH is very supportive of me BF her long term. His only concern is that we won't get a night away from the kids even this time next year maybe, as i plan to feed her till at least 2. I don't know what will happen in a years time, but will have to wait and see.

My family and the in-laws are supportive too. MIL fed all 3 of hers till around 2, so no "when will you stop" questions from her and my family is happy for me to do whatever makes the kids happy (and my mum BF till 8 months).

Hi, choceyes. Thanks for bumping this thread.

DD is now 9 months and has two teeth. She still loves "nomching" as I have decided to call it. And I'm fascinated that the longer I breastfeed the more knowledgeable I get.

Also, have formulated a useful response to anyone saying "oh, you're doing it for your own benefit" You can respond, "Well, as bfing reduces my risks of certain cancers, of course I am!"

I can be ?officially? here now as DS was one yesterday!

As if on cue, stepmother ?have you stopped feeding him now? to her credit though, she said nothing and pulled no faces when I said no, so maybe she will not be as funny about it as I was expecting.

Thought you could "officially" be here if you BF past 6 months so you've been one of us for longer than you thought, Cosmosis.

Oh, I had forgotten about this thread. Thanks for the bump!

DS1 has a very wiggly tooth. Very wiggly indeed. I am kind of hoping that it will spell the end.

But I don't think it will...

He is still having terrible stomach problems, refluxy type symptoms. He and DH were mucking about last night before bed and DH held him upside down. Cue a burning stomach for ages and ds1 not able to go to sleep . We go to see the paed at the end of the month. He has a cows milk intolerance, but I think it's a red herring tbh as these are completely different symptoms. I have gone dairy free as well so that I can go there and say, look, he's had no dairy for 5 weeks, and neither have I.

DS2 is 18months now. I guess I have two "extended" nurslings, although I still think he's a beginner!!!

Hello, can I join please? So pleased to see a friendly group of full-termers: I have a dilemma and hoping some of you will have some wise advice

DD is 16 months. During the day I feed on demand when she's with me, but she is looked after by family members 3 days a week while I work and she never looks for it if I'm not there.

At night she goes to sleep in her own bed at about 8 (story, feed, then I lie next to her and she drifts off), then she wakes at about 11 and I bring her into my bed and she goes back to sleep without a feed until about 4, then I feed every time she wakes (usually 5.30, 6, 6.30 ) til she wakes up properly at 7.

My problem is that DH and I have recently separated. We're meeting tomorrow to discuss contact, and I'm feeling really unsure about what's going to be in DD's best interests. Until now DH has always really failed struggled settling DD at night, but I expect they'd figure it out between them sooner or later? Especially if she's at his house and knows I'm not there.

Does anyone else have experience of this? Would I need to pump to maintain my supply if she was gone for 48 hours?

I was really hoping to continue until she self-weans, but would be happy I think to get to 2. I'm heartbroken at the idea of forcing her to wean and putting her through unnecessary distress at a time when she's already coping with so much change.

Should I be arguing for no overnight contact until she weans, or should I try and let go and accept that having good quality contact with her dad is more important than breastfeeding?

All opinions/experience welcome

Rushy, FWIW, I was in hospital for five days (food poisoning) when DS was 15 months, and I was so dehydrated I couldn't get anything out with the pump they let me borrow from maternity. When DS was finally allowed to visit, he had a good long feed, and my supply was fine afterward. In fact, he just turned 2 and we're still going! Hope that eases your mind a bit. The longer you are going, the longer it takes for it to dry up when you stop (or so I've been told).

I thought I'd pop in on this thread now that I'm viewed as truly and anomaly by most people I know in RL with regard to feeding past 2 years. Thankfully I've found out my neighbour (also my childminder) is still feeding her DS who is 4 months older than my DS. We've agreed to hand-hold through all the 'you know you need to stop that now' or 'bitty!' or 'when are you going to stop?' comments. Neither of our boys are remotely ready to quit, and we don't have a problem with it!

oops, meant to say as well, if you are feeding a lot, you might want to express a bit for your own comfort. The first time I stayed away from DS for about 16 hours when he was 15mo, I woke up in the morning with very heavy, sore boobs, and had to figure out how to hand express pretty darn quick!

Hi Rushy at this age you should be fine for overnight contact and even 48 Boursin terms of supply but as YankN has said you might need to express for your own comfort as you do not want to risk engorgement and mastitis.

Thank you both, that's really reassuring. Will keep that in mind about expressing.

Love the auto-correct to 48 Boursin

YankNCock - it's funny, I've found I'm getting far fewer of those comments now than I did when DD was around 8 months. I think people either just assume we've already stopped because she asks for it less in public now. Or they've got the message that if we haven't stopped by now it's not likely to be any time soon!

Ha, well, ds1 has lost his bottom two incisors and can still latch just fine and dandy.

Stomach problems are worse. But, I have been doing a lot of reading about this, and I think there is a connection with his tongue tie. Theory is that the chewing and swallowing action is affected and a lot of air is swallowed, causing gastric problems.

He is asking to nurse a lot, and although I wish he would stop, it is clearly to help soothe his stomach. We are back to the hospital tomorrow for a follow up appointment. He's been on medication which has made bugger all difference.

Let us know how it goes, mawbroon - hope the doctor isn't too dismissive.

Hello, I haven't posted here before, and I haven't read the whole thread. Hope this is OK protocol for a long running topic like this.

I was just reflecting that last night for the first time I "topped up" without really thinking about it, and then I wondered if at this stage there is still any supply-demand issue to worry about. DD is 16 months and eats well. She bfeeds at bedtime, usually in the morning and during the night most nights. So 2/3 feeds a day. She is a good sleeper. Last night she had three breasts about 12.30am and was upset again at 1.30am. Because this is so unusual we were both up, and DH had been faffing about with a cup. Eventually I did offer her both breasts again for what they were worth, which she seemed to appreciate and when she wouldn't go back to bed I was sitting with her and offered her this cup of milk for something to do. She drank it all! I have always thought of topping-up as an error - am I going to be up making toast in the night forever more?

This is ponder or light-hearted query really, I'm just trying to join in, really.

hi thesurgeonsmate, welcome to the thread!

Your supply is soooo well established at this stage that a cup of milk in the night makes no odds whatsoever!

We got on ok at the hospital with ds1. The doc didn't dismiss the tongue tie/gastric link theory. They will do an endoscopy first, and if that doesn't show anything then they will consider doing the tt. I would have preferred that they just did the tt anyway, but I can understand why they want to do the endoscopy. Not nice for ds1, so I hope they can do it soon so he's not dreading it for too long. The fasting will be hard, but I don't think breastmilk counts, so he can probably nurse until a couple of hours beforehand which should help him. He is barely eating any solid food now. I am not forcing the issue at all, and I let him eat what he wants, and when. So, he is eating little and often, choosing sloppy food like porridge, yogurt, custard etc. And of course breastmilk which is the best thing of all for him right now.

I feel a bit mean for having moaned about his continued nursing for years, wishing he would wean etc, only to find that he really, really needs it and has probably been suffering gastric distress all along . Right now, I am glad that he is still nursing. He says it really helps.

That's what I always think, maw when I'm skipping out of a feed for any reason - I think I was just astonished that she drained the cup in the wee small hours.

I hope you do get an appointment soon - it sounds like the appeal of yoghurt and custard could eventually pall!

Oh, mawbroon, that does sound awful for your DS. That's frustrating about having to wait for an endoscopy first but good that they didn't dismiss the TT stuff out of hand.

Hello, thesurgeonsmate, I agree with mawbroon on your question. I do know at least one person who has had to give solid foods in the night occasionally, but her DS was dragging her to the fridge in the middle of the night. I think it stopped on its own.

My money would be on the 75 week developmental leap causing the problems, or maybe teething. Of course it could just be one of those things. :)

My 21 m.o. DS has really bad eczema on his face at the moment which scabs over at night and sometimes makes it painful for him to open his mouth to bf. He sleeps face down which doesn't help.

The last 2 nights he's woken between 9 and 15 times and it makes me realise how easy it was to just bf and go back to sleep. Now I have to put on moisturiser and then work out whether he wants bf, rocking, patting or cuddling.

Good grief, I've just read AngelDog's link. If we're about to leap into all that we are in trouble - I don't feel anywhere near any of these issues!

Hi all, I can now officially join this thread as DD just turned 1! Never expected to keep going so long but she likes it, doesn't take bottles and here we are. I need to go back to work soon though and find myself putting off weaning the whole time. I only want to day wean and am happy to keep going mornings and evenings and nights. But even the day weaning I keep saying "I'll start tomorrow" or "I'll start next week". Has anyone else experienced this? It's getting ridiculous.

I was thinking of the "don't offer don't refuse" approach to start with, has anyone else tried this? Sorry to come here and start out by talking about ending bf, it's just bc of work really that I need to do it and as I still do 2-3 feeds in the times of day that I will soon be at work and I also always had an oversupply issue I think I really need to start reducing feedings during the day, but I'm really bad at it somehow. Maybe it's a subconscious reluctance about going back to work?

if anyone else here has felt like this, let me know if you have any tips! thanks!

sanam I didn't reply to your post, because I don't really have any similar experience. Doesn't look like anyone else does either! When I went back to work, DD was younger and so I was expressing at work. She drank this from a cup. So, when she turned one and I wanted to stop expressing I was able to reduce the pumping rather than reduce the feeding. She moved on to cows milk in her cup just the thing.

I don't know much about oversupply, but I'd hope that once you get started it will all fall into place and make sense. I sometimes found that it wasn't really possible to reason things out in advance about planning the whole expressing thing, but it all came out in the wash.

Hi sanam .I am bf at 18 mo. Evenings only and back at work. If I were you I wouldn't overthink things, ime it works itself out between the amazing powers of your boobs and your dc.

I find at this stage if you aren't there then they don't seem to mind. Your Lo won't need milk during the day, so in your situation i would just go back to work. Your boobs will adjust in a couple of days even with your oversupply. Lo will adjust quickly to the fact that they can have milk if u are there, but not if you aren't iyswim.

For us it is a lovley rebonding experience each workday evening.

Good luck with it. X

Ps yy to don't offer, don't refuse. We use that all the time now. Works well for us.

Hello ladies, I think it's time I joined you as my DD is 2yrs 3 months and showing no sign of dropping the bedtime feed. My Mum has been nagging me to stop for a while and DH even wondered the other night whether it was time to stop, so I am feeling in need of a little peer support. I know one other person still feeding but that's it. I am starting to feel I am really on my own on this and I don't feel inclined to stop yet so it's not going to get any easier. DD was IVF and the only reason I would stop soon is if we decide to do another cycle as you can't bf while doing it. I'd always thought I would let her self wean but didn't expect her to want it this long! I do still love our special time together just before bedtime though, even though it means I can't go out til her bedtime, daddy has never put her to bed and I've never had a night away! Small price to pay for all the joy she has brought. Anyway, will stop rambling now xx

Havent been on the thread for a while, think I missed it on the active threads!

sanam2010 ...I went back to work when my DD was almost 13 months old so we were in a similar situation. I don't think you have to do anything to be honest...someone will correct me if I'm wrong. I went back 3 days per week and my DD just seemed to adapt. I didnt leave any expressed milk, my DD was offered a cup of soya/oatly (allergic to cows milk) in my absense and seemed happy with this. She didn't, and still doesn't, ask for a breastfeed unless I am at home. On my days off and at weekends my DD did feed during the day initially but she gradually dropped feeds to adapt to my working pattern and now feeds morning and night only. I use the dont offer dont refuse approach too...if she asks during the day, which is very rare, I give her a feed.

My DD is loaded with the cold so has hardly fed for 3 days because her nose is so blocked :( She has been asking for booboo then realises that her nose is blocked so asks to go on the other side ("other one") and realises that her nose is still blocked then she giggles! So she obviously isn't that bothered!

mawbroon hope your ds is ok.

surgeon when my DD wakens during the night my DH will sometimes go through with a cup of milk and settle her. She usually sleeps all night so we know she has a reason when she wakens so thats why we dont mind. Recently though my DD has only wanted me and booboo if she wakens. Most nights at bedtime my DD will have a full breastfeed and some soya milk. Some nights she only wants booboo and some nights she only wants soya. I think my supply is ok...I hope it is anyway!

Sorry have missed so much of the thread will have a look back.