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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

Is there an 'extended' breastfeeding support thread?

652 replies

Unrulysun · 22/05/2011 11:48

Or would I be better off on LLL?

Just read the 'school-age children' thread with interest but didn't want to derail :)

dd is 1 today so it's not 'extended' bf by any normal definition but judging by the number of 'Are you going to carry on breastfeeding her?' (yes because otherwise she'll be composed primarily of grapes) conversations I've had inflicted on me in the last week I think I'm going to need all the support I can get Grin

so proud we made it this far - ha ha!

OP posts:
Debs75 · 17/08/2011 14:02

i know some people like that, my sis had a year in her head and even though her dd fed well from her but struggled with solids she still stopped bfing at 1 year. She thinks i am mad to still feed dd2 at 3 years. to be fair though most people have stopped asking me when i will stop feeding her or dd3

AngelDog · 17/08/2011 23:43

Debs, there's a really common sleep regression around 3 years (info here here and here.)

:( to Cosmosis. The stuck record reply works best for us too.

I was a bit Hmm at my mum yesterday. My parents have no prior experience of bf over 12 months - they're not critical, but each time I see them they usually ask me how long I'm going to continue (DS is 19 m.o.). We were in the supermarket and DS was asking for milk, then he fell & injured his arm (something he's done before - it's really painful). I found a seat & fed him. My mum stood right in front of me with her knees practically touching mine, as if to shield me from sight. I didn't think the sight of a feeding toddler was that bad! Hmm I decided it wasn't worth saying anything to her, but I was very glad I could provide on-the-spot pain relief for him (again).

toobreathless · 18/08/2011 00:16

Can wannabe extended breastfeeders join :)?

DD is 16 weeks & has CMP Allergy. Dietician today thought we might be able to introduce cows milk at 18 months at the earliest, probably two years. So I am seriously considering breastfeeding until she is at least two.

Not voiced this to anyone else yet. DH & I saw a bit of 'extreme breastfeeding' (C4) & he thought it was 'weird & wrong' so a bit of work to do there!

EauRouge · 18/08/2011 08:28

Hi toobreathless, of course you are welcome to join in :) I think there are a few of us on this thread that never planned on BF this long, it just kind of happened. I remember when DD1 was about 6 weeks old and I saw someone BF a 6 month old and to me he looked enormous Grin but they do get that way gradually so it doesn't seem weird BF a toddler once you are doing it.

I'm sure once your DH sees the benefits of extended BF for himself he will be converted!

Cosmosis · 18/08/2011 10:32

My DH used to think the same, partly I think because he didn?t know anyone who bfed really, let alone anyone do extended bf. But it?s not like you start off feeding a 2 year hold, the baby just gradually grows and you can?t imagine stopping. My DH is now a huge advocate of longer term bf and agrees with me that we?ll stop when we?re ready and nor for any arbitrary dates.

mawbroon · 18/08/2011 14:07

Toobreathless, sorry to hear about the CMP allergy. DS1 was allergic to egg and became intolerent to milk after a terrible tummy bug just before he was 2 and if I'm honest, this was one of the main reasons for keeping on, oh and apart from the fact that hell would freeze over first before he gave up willingly!!

Our last trip to the dietician was annoying though. I normally don't tell HCPs that he's "still" nursing (he's 5.10yo) but she was going on about calcium intake so I felt it was important that she knew he was getting a lot of my milk in his diet. She asked questions which unfortunately revealed her lack of knowledge/understanding, but given that I can hear the milk glugging and slooshing when he nurses and then he delights in jumping about so I can hear the milk sloshing in his tummy, I am as confident as can be that he's getting LOADS!

So, along your travels with HCPs, just bear in mind that they don't always know what they are talking about. Sad

DS1 has gone back to school after the holidays this week. The rivalry with ds2 over the holidays has been very difficult to deal with. I thought tandem nursing was supposed to help Sad

toobreathless · 19/08/2011 18:52

Thanks for the welcome.

Mawbroon: may be outing myself here but I am actually a HCP (doctor). I went to medical school for five years & then did two generic years & I was never taught ANYTHING about breastfeeding. I think this is a real shame. Misinformed HCPs will be around until someone actually educates them. I personally feel some basic facts about breastfeeding/common myths & where to send women for support should really be taught at medical school. Rant over! I hope things are improving for you now DS1 is back at school.

I mentioned extending breastfeeding to DH last night & he didn't say much, just 'umm.' This was a more positive reaction than I had expected which is good.

AngelDog · 19/08/2011 23:42

DH used to be twitchy about 'extended' bf. When DS was about 2 months old I happened to mention someone else bf'ing her almost 2 year old, he nearly had a fit. Now DS is 19 m.o. and in discussion it appears that DH assumes he'll still be feeding when he's 2.

Once DH realised how much DS loved it, and saw the difference it made to his (toddler) behaviour, he was much more positive about bf. Plus stopping would mean he'd have to deal with bedtimes / night times while I weaned DS (I've always done both).

I found a drip drip drip approach to info helped too, rather than trying to blind with science or argue the point.

I do sometimes feel it's a bit weird feeding a toddler, but I do it anyway as I don't think it should feel weird IYSWIM.

mawbroon · 20/08/2011 20:04

toobreathless Blush sorry, wasn't meaning to dis HCPs. I am sure you will now be one of the fab doctors who know what they are talking about when it comes to breastfeeding. It is incredible that there is no training on it whatsoever.

As an aside, ds1 got a library book out about the human body. It is pretty comprehensive, but there is not one mention of breasts or milk production or even the fact that babies drink milk. I wonder why. In fact, I think I might email them and ask!

Debs75 · 20/08/2011 20:12

mawbroon am in awe at you still feeding at 5.10. We are trying to encourage dd2 to stop at around 3 years as she is still fed to sleep and this is causing so much stress for me. It doesn't help that her sis is now 1 and I can see her going the same way. It is too easy to settle them with bf's and it does stop the other waking in the night if i feed dd3 back to sleep.
DP is supportive and doesn't mention a time I should stop but in my head I don't think I could bf a school child

mawbroon · 20/08/2011 22:28

debs - I am sick of it if I'm honest and I wish he would just stop but it's not looking likely while his brother is still nursing. We mutually agreed to stop on his 5th birthday. Or rather I suggested it, he said yes, and then I leapt into action. We stopped for 6 weeks and I won't lie, it was fecking awful. He was lying on the floor sobbing his heart out, completely inconsolable and I knew that I could fix it in two seconds if I let him nurse again. Which I did, and here we are at 5.10yo. He is having stomach problems just now and we are waiting for a hospital appointment, so although I am sick of it, I know it will be doing him good. It's not so strange feeding a school age child. He's just the same child who I have fed almost every day since he was born.

If you had told me when he was born that he would feed this long, I would have keeled over with shock. You mention that trying to stop is causing so much stress, I can understand that completely. Any time I have tried to cut down on ds1's feeding, it has caused so much upset all round, that it's been easier just to carry on. People post stuff about how they maybe had a couple of days complaining from their child/toddler on weaning them and then it's all been ok. Nope, can't identify with that at all. I think if they are ready then it's maybe that simple, but if they are not then it is a different story all together.

Hey ho, one day they will both be weaned and nursing will seem like a dim and distant memory for me....

TruthSweet · 20/08/2011 22:42

mawbroon - I'm sorry the attempted weaning was so traumatic for you both. It really goes to show how it really isn't about the mum's needs but about the child's need to carry on bfing that leads to 'ext' bfing.

DD1 has weaned 2 years ago in Sept and she still misses it on occasions (she will be 5.6 in Sept). I could see myself having nursed her this long if she had been able to. The the need was/is still there but the ability isn't. We make do with frequent cuddles and snuggles and kisses though Grin

Babieseverywhere · 21/08/2011 20:44

mawbroon, I do hear you. It is hard to balance our wishes as mothers with the needs of our growing children.

I honestly thought my oldest had weaned but she begged for 'just one side' for her recent 5th birthday which I agreed to as she was so earnest and explained how much she missed milk and please. I was very wistful tandem nursing her and her brother, guessing it was the last feed. She has not asked for 3 weeks to date.

TheRealMBJ · 21/08/2011 21:16

toobreathless I too am a trained doctor (not currently practising) and I find it so difficult to explain to friends that bf is just not covered and that unless you are bf or have bf the thought that it may be something with which mothers and babies need help does not even cross most HCPs minds Sad

Our bf support group has however, decided to offer training to our local GP surgeries regarding breast milk and breastfeeding. If we don't do it, who will?

EauRouge · 22/08/2011 08:22

That's a great idea, MBJ, which breastfeeding group is that? I wonder if more would consider doing it.

Well, DD1 seems to be putting on a developmental spurt. We were out all day yesterday and she was distracted but she still went about 8 hours without asking to be BF (and I fobbed her off because I was in the middle of eating so she went nearly 10 hours in the end).

And the other day I asked her which did she like more, booby or pizza and she said pizza Angry Grin Cheeky monkey. My homemade pizza is pretty good though.

TheRealMBJ · 22/08/2011 08:44

We are an independent group Eau but we are loosely associated with the ABM. And are looking at becoming formally affiliated with them.

toobreathless · 22/08/2011 13:33

TheRealMBJ: you going into GP surgeries sounds brilliant. There is so little awareness about breastfeeding amongst most HCPs. I went away with a group of close friends last weekend, five are paediatric trainees. they were pretty clueless (& you would think they would have some idea of the benefits of breastfeeding to the baby at least!) your support group sounds fab, can I be cheeky & ask roughly where in the UK you are? (or message me)

Mawbroon: you didn't offend me in the slightest!

I keep meaning to join either LLL or the NCT. Both have fairly local groups any reasons to join one rather than the other?

TheRealMBJ · 22/08/2011 13:48

We are in the north-east corner of North Yorkshire Smile

TheRealMBJ · 22/08/2011 13:53

I'd join the LLL (although, I am an NCT member and not an LLL member) only because the LLL focus is on natural term bf, attachment parenting, gentle disciple etc, where as the NCT has more of labour and delivery and immediate post-natal focus. In my experience, of course.

EauRouge · 22/08/2011 14:57

I'm an LLL member. You get a magazine every couple of months that has really good articles in and you get to borrow from the group library for free. You don't need to be a member to go to the group meetings though and it's pretty much as MBJ describes.

I know nothing about the NCT apart from they have great nearly new sales so I can't help you there!

toobreathless · 22/08/2011 19:22

Thanks Ladies. I will join LLL then.

I have read one of their books whilst pregnant 'The womanly art of breastfeeding' i picked it up for £1.99 in oxfam books. Apart from the title I thought it was pretty good.

EauRouge · 22/08/2011 20:03

It's a fantastic book, I love it. It's an old-fashioned title because it was first published about 50 years ago when LLL was formed. I think it's in its 8th edition now.

Amykins · 23/08/2011 17:17

Am still breastfeeding my dd who is almost 3. Mother and husband think it's really odd and have not met any other mothers who have gone on for this long. My dd is allergic to cow's milk and does drink soya milk (yuck) which I know has calcium in it, but just feel better knwing she's having some of "my" milk.

EauRouge · 27/08/2011 09:35

I visited my grandparents the other day and my grannie was dropping hints about weaning Grin she's been saying DD1 is too old for nearly 2 years now, bless her. She's not nasty about it, I think she just thinks I'm a bit mad.

She asked how I would go about weaning and the question caught me by surprise so I just said 'crikey, I haven't planned that far ahead!'. I don't think that's what she expected to hear.

Then I was trying to explain natural term weaning to her and that DD1 wouldn't be able to carry on once she got her adult teeth. I think I might have blown her mind a bit because she mumbled something about yes, she stopped BF my dad when he got his first tooth.

She was very polite about the whole thing although I bet she will be asking my dad about it when she speaks to him Grin

Has anyone ever had anyone say something to their DC about them being too old? I'm worried about it happening to DD1 now that she's old enough to understand it. Any tips gratefully received!

AchtungBaby · 29/08/2011 11:43

Hi all Smile.

I'm finding DS (nearly 1) a bit heavy to support when I'm BFing him, does anyone have any recommendations for a support / pillow for an older baby?

I used this when he was littler, and found it quite useful. But it doesn't seem quite high enough to support my arm (which is supporting his head) properly.

I also wondered about this, but it would also support and raise his bum, which I think is already at ~ the right height on my lap.

I either BF on a sofa (with non-useful too high arms) in my living room, or on a futon sofa in DS's room (or in bed in my bedroom, which is my favourite). I've considered piling 2 pillows on each side of me, or a small-ish bean bag on each side of me Grin...