OK, I get BF, but am totally fucked off with the smugness

[FunnysInTheGarden]

Most of us are failed BF, but the tone on here recently has really pissed me off. We generally FF? Non? So why the smug shit and the passive aggressiveness towards those who have to/chose to FF?

So tempted to name names, but I won't.

Just stop being so smug and holier than thou please, some people

passionberry thank you for that I agree with you - but would like to make a slight correction:

Most of us pro-BFers don't come on here to promote or push BF, we are generally here defending it from posters who for whatever reason feel very strongly and want to start a fight about it.

Many of us are also here to support mums who are asking for help with BF, because we know from our own experience that there is not much practical support out there in RL. That's not promotion either.

re there being no randomised control trial: the study I linked to describes itself as "a multicenter randomized controlled trial using cluster randomization".

Yes exactly paisleyleaf - several studies have done this by comparing babies born in Baby Friendly hospitals with those who were not.

The Baby Friendly-born babies are more likely to be breastfed simply because their mums received better support in hospital, not because they were more educated or health-conscious. So it's quite a neat way to remove potential confounding factors.

Somehow I think these nuances will be lost on the OP, though

where is the OP?

Maybe feeling better now

OP is at work. The thing which angers me most is the threads I see where people post for help on FF and are called lazy etc and thrown 'facts' like FF babies get ill more often - with no proof that this is the case.

It always ammuses me that when someone has a strong opinion about something, they have 'issues'. No I don't, but I do get annoyed on behalf of other mothers when they are subject to usually a gang of BF zealots all posting one after another.

right, fine. links.

(....or not)

I'm interested to see a link where anyone has been called 'lazy' for ff.

'I do get annoyed on behalf of other mothers when they are subject to usually a gang of BF zealots all posting one after another.'

Er, you started the thread Funnys. What did you expect? For people to bend over and say: " You're right. We're all really smug." or to come on and defend themselves from your criticism.

well said FunnysInTheGarden. I think the original post was quite tame and reflects what I have felt in the past from people around me (not necessarily on here I might add - I don't usually look in this section).

That I must hang my head in shame because I stopped BFing at 3 months.

I think some of the posters have been quite rude to the OP. e.g. 'Somehow I think these nuances will be lost on the OP, though'.

I think that illustrates her point quite nicely.

enough of this, i demand links. i just DO NOT BELIEVE that anyone said that a poster on here should hang her head in shame for not having bf past three months. i say that is an outright lie. likewise i say it is an outright lie that anyone has been called lazy for ffing on here.

go on, please demonstrate otherwise, i am all ears here.

please re-read, I said not here - in real life.

i don't believe a single human bfing woman has ever said to you that you should hang your head in shame for not having bf past three months, griffaloschild. it's all in your head.

funnys gets cross because people won't post links to evidence, despite people posting links to evidence. funnys makes wild assertions about poison accusations and zealots but refuses to link to evidence.

Fuck smug, I'm just confused.

You can see why I'm confused.

I'm not a failed bfer. Neither am I smug.

What do you want me to do? Pretend I didn't bf?

I have been told on MN that I was poisoning my baby by ff'ing her.

I have also been told on MN that you can tell ff babies because they have fat faces and look unhealthy.

Neither comment bothered me because I am comfortable with my decision and it was right for me and my family.

But I did want to make the point that there are nutters on both sides of the fence.

i would really like to see those comments in print. were they deleted? if not, could you remember where they were posted?

What a strange OP, Obviously rather bored too

Actually there was once a thread where somebody compared formula to poison and said some ridiculously stupid things about how ff babies look. But it was one instance and the poster was rounded on by everybody, ffers, bfers, mixed feeders, non-parents etc. It was deleted iirc. But even if one could link to that lone voice, it wouldn't confirm what the OP seems to think is a daily occurence on here. It isn't. It's isn't a daily occurence in rl either. BFers remain in the minority. I've yet to see GMTV debating whether we should 'allow' ff in public for example.

If those things were actually said links to the threads should be provided.

Also, tabouleh don't stop posting about how to make up formula safely. I had no idea about it until I read one of your posts. A friend of mine FFs and didn't know about the bacteria thing, the advice she had been given was to make the bottles and put them in the fridge.

I cannot for the life of me figure out why someone would be upset at correct information on the making up of bottles being shared. It might only be 1 baby a year, but that is someones baby who they love as much as I love mine, an unnecessary death which could be avoided by the info being easily obtainable/widely known.

A while ago, is all I can remember, maybe a couple of months?

I tend to stay away from bf/ff arguments discussions as I don't think anyone wins, but the comment on poisoning really pissed me off and so I had to say something. The poster then told me my baby was more likely to die because I ff'd. The reasoning behind this was baby was more likely to become ill from formula than breastmilk.

A stupid and inflammatory thing to say, and no help to anyone.

The comment on fat babies who look unhealthy was around the same time, lots of people commented on it though and the poster vanished.

Regarding Tab, I have seen some of her ff posts and agree with them regarding how to safely make formula so please don't think I'm picking a fight here. My point is just that I have received and seen some ridiculous comments, which I can happily ignore but might make a new mum somewhere feel really shit.