How has your life improved since you chose boarding school for your DC?

[MisschiefMaker]

Just that really.

In what ways has your life improved since enrolling your DC in boarding school?

Or, if you're an ex boarder, how did your parents and broader family benefit from the decision?

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I have two male friends who were sent off to boarding schools from the age of 7/8.

One loved it. He thrived in all the activities and made one of them his career. He preferred being away from home after his thirty-something mum married an elderly aristocrat.

The other hated it. He is very good looking and was sexually abused by the older boys. Said it was rife, expected. He's completely incapable of having normal relationships now, just sleeps around since that's all he's ever known.

‘There is a chance for my youngest to have a residential place from sept. It might give me the chance to be her Mum at weekends, rather than her shattered carer full time. My other kids would get some normalcy again.’

this is a completely different scenario IMHO to those who send their kids to boarding school when they have no SEN or needs of any kind, which is where the children are more likely to be harmed by boarding and being sent away from school than benefitted.

@4u2 I am amazed by how egoistic and self-centered most of the comments on this thread are. Of course the decision is driven by the child’s needs, not that of the parents.

Oh I don't believe this at all. Loads of children in full-time boarding schools spend years there despite being really unhappy and experiencing things like anorexia, bullying, sexual abuse.

I'm not judging the parents. I know parents of children like this and they seem nice so I'm sure they had good reasons.

I don't believe it's "loads". I really do not. Depends what you mean by "loads" I suppose. Certainly less than in the state sector.

So you know "loads" of private school parents well enough for them to discuss their children's anorexia/bullying/sexual abuse at school with you. OK then.

I'm leaving this thread now as it's becoming painfully obvious that some posters won't let reality get in the way of their bias.

Yes I do know loads but my experience is from full timing boarding not weekly boarding like your family uses. I imagine they are very different.

@Plirtle you do have the option of giving OP your opinion without reading other comments or engaging with posters.

Found out this week that a good friend is considering boarding for DC.
I ask what benefits would be for her /DH, and they outnumbered the advantages for DC by quite a lot. I asked honestly if they were thinking of it for the kids benefit or theirs and friend said DH would say 80/20 in favour of the kid, but she would would flip that entirely to 20/80 in favour of her/DH.
theynare going ahead it seems because it seems they have decided that they can make up for lost time by really focussing on their D.C. in the holidays.
In the holidays it will all be about D.C., everything will be what they want to do.
personally, given they both work FT in demanding jobs, I can’t see that happening.

I don't think that my life is improved by my kids attending boarding school, but I know their's is. We live in a remote rural location and I travel with work 4-5 days a week. Our kids are very sporty and sociable, and while they were day students we struggled to get them to matches and play dates, and organising something for one often involved a compromise for the others. Investing in boarding school means that they now have unlimited opportunities to spend time with their friends, play the sports that they love, and they phone home every night if they want to (which they often do, but then have to rush off to some activity or other).

So I guess actually my life is improved since we chose boarding school, as they are happier, and we can focus on having a really good time when they are home.

Was this a bet to see how many cliches you could fit in one post?

in answer to the OP, no parent’s life is “improved” but not being with their child. We’ve all carried our babies for 9 months and given birth and nurtured them for years. Assuming you aren’t in the microscopic proportion of parents that are abusive to their own children , then every parent who has to drive home after dropping their child off at a boarding school will feel lonely, sad, bereft and so on. That’s Mother Nature doing her bit to make sure humans are cared for until their are old enough to fly the nest. It goes against every fibre of a mother’s being to leave your child with someone else to care for. I get panicky with my own mum having my dc for a few hours let alone leaving them at a boarding school! But leave them I have done after very very considered thought process that revolved 100% around my child: On balance, is this the best school for my child?

I have no regrets. No school is perfect but my dc have thrived and thankfully all is well. Not all their friends along the way have stayed at the school. Occasionally some leave as it turns out boarding is not right for them. That’s how life goes.

for context our family is boringly nice and loved up. No divorces - no mental health issues - dh and I don’t even work away. We share 3 meals a day as we wfh and I don’t even work that much ! I understand why some people would then find our choice to use boarding schools completely alien but then that’s fine and I don’t feel remotely like I need to justify my decisions anymore as I’ve got children who haven’t fallen off the rails (yet !!), who have lots of friends, love school, achieving to their max potential and a secure loving family . They are bloody lucky in this day and age as sadly this is not the case for every child.

if I had to genuinely come up with how my life has improved then I guess not doing the daily school run is one as is not having to cook a proper meal every evening - but these are just the tedium of every day life. I am frequently sat at home missing my dc and enjoy going to see them at every opportunity (sports/drama/debating etc ) . In a few short years I will miss them more and more as they forge their own adult lives - and no doubt they will miss me less and less - but this is the natural order of Life.

I hated every minute of my local day school and left at 16 - the earliest opportunity. My kids both went to boarding school due to my work commitments and lifestyle (their own choice, not forced) and loved it. Everyone has different experiences. My DCs are loved as much as anyone elses and we are really close as adults so I don't believe it had any detrimental impact, in fact I believe it made them very independent self-assured people who will be successful in whatever they choose to do.