Am I being a snowflake about this - name of a nursery that is similar to something I find offensive ?

[Putoffalot]

AIBU to not want to send my child (of a mixed heritage) to a childminder with a name that is very similar to something offensive (GW). It’s come up when searching and is the closest to my work but I can’t even contemplate contacting them as it’s too close to the name of an offensive item ?

So if a friend had a cat called Tigger, you would refuse to call him by his name?

@bigkahunaburger I'm glad op posted too.

People love to deny we have a racism problem in this country and on Mumsnet itself. I think this shows exactly the kind of casual racist crap black people (and other poc) put up with every day. People don't even think they're being racist. They're just casually dismissing other people's experiences and mocking their feelings. It's bullying and casually racist bullying. Really awful.

@MumWifeOther So you'd also avoid the words bigger, snigger, rigger, jigger, figure (rhymes in my accent)...

I would avoid reading such things as some of the early Enid Blyton stuff with the awful references to 'tar babies' and golliwogs and so on - and there are a couple of Famous Fives that originally had references to the N word which I'd avoid, and possibly discuss at an appropriate age.

But no I don't think avoiding words that rhyme with, but are absolutely completely 100% not relevant to... no.

I don't have any children so it's not something I have to consider, but I really don't think I'd teach them to find racism in things that contain none, no.

(For clarity - I am talking about original W-T-P etc, as written by AA Milne, not anything Disney has done since with the characters. I really don't know them, I do know Disney was a big ole racist prick though!)

Why are you doing this? What are you trying to prove? I’ve already explained why I find it disgusting.

Nah sorry. That's a very strange name to pick for a nursery and strikes me as an obvious making a point. I'd avoid personally

I entirely understand where you're coming from and totally agree with your lack of comfort with this. It feels like a statement to me

The nursery rhyme doesn’t go..”eeny meeny miney mo, catch a [insert any of the words you included] by its toe, if its wriggles let it go, eeny meeny miney mo… “ does it?

As a white woman I think the name is appalling and completely tone-deaf. I would not be sending my child there. Trust your instincts @Putoffalot and I'm sorry you have had so many nasty responses by people determined not to see why you would feel uncomfortable in sending your daughter to a nursery with that name. There are none so blind as those who will not see.

It really isn't well known as you well know

@SodOffbacktoaibu This is like the saga of the 'was my Christmas abstemious' thread - just because you don't know that polliwog is another name for a tadpole doesn't mean that other people aren't aware of the word. It's a term I've always known, and has been used since the middle of the 19th century. Many nurseries are called names like Little Owls, Seedlings, Little Cubs, and an alternative word for tadpoles isn't any different.

Also, there is no way that no parent, grandparent, or worker who would visit as part of their role (eg, social workers, ed psychs, nurse, teachers, staff, cleaners etc) - that NO-ONE has said something to management about the racist connotations. I would in my role (social worker). We go to nurseries all the time, and all my colleagues would have said something. Its just not something we would let go. Which means the owner is ignoring that and holding onto the name.

We all make faux-pas, it happens but there is no way the management/owner dont know by now and they are choosing to ignore it. Which speaks volumes.
You will most definately not be the only one who feels this way OP.

Could not agree more with this. I am shocked and horrified by the casual racism on display on this thread. It's so depressing.

But none of those terms have racist connotations. You are being tone deaf.

Racism is endemic in America.

I think because I've just never heard anything so ridiculous tbh. Gypsy is an offensive term in the States, but I've heard of quite a few American cats 🐈 called Gypsy 🤔 😆

I don’t think you are overreacting. I don’t know that it was intentionally offensive but taking that name is careless of your feelings and those of other Black people whose association with that word links to some terrible events.

I think you are definitely not being unreasonable OP. Pollywogs/gollywogs is a disgraceful name for a nursery. Putting the P in it instead of the G is a get around for overt racism. No one could be so stupid as to name their nursery Pollywogs without an agenda.

Except Tadpole is the most commonly used word in the UK, so why not use that? The word is clearly unknown to many, and this may be regional, but stupidity is the nicest explanation.

I think her position is that because Tigger has been used as a substitute for a racist term, she now “hears” the racist term whenever she hears the name Tigger, which is obviously upsetting.

I’ve personally never heard that rhyme with Tigger, only tiger, but I can see how Tigger will have been used in a coded way.

Nevertheless, I do not see how this makes Winnie the Pooh and the bouncy stripy tiger retrospectively unacceptably racist.

And what does that prove?

I think you’re having a Welsh carrot moment 🙄

Hang on...

Are people using 'Tigger' in the 'eeny meeny...' rhyme as a way to 'get away with' being racist... or as a way to replace the racist content?

We always said 'tiger' and I was probably 20+ before I ever heard a version using the N word. I suspect the use of Tigger came along after Disney bought Winnie The Pooh (2001) so long long after i was of the playground rhymes age...

In that case, context obviously matters. I still can't see whats wrong with Tigger, ref. the character from WtP, thats his name, because he is a Tiger.

Baa Baa Black Sheep... no you've lost me there. Some sheep are indeed black and produce black wool. There is no racist link there at all.

No one has said Winnie the Pooh is retrospectively unacceptable racist.

That is terrible. I'm so sorry your poor children are having to go through this.

Yes, but I think that's a different issue.

As in, if pollywog is the normal term for a tadpole in a given place (even America) then there isn't really a 'racist association' with the GW word to try to explain. The association is created by the fact that the word is such a strange one (at least to me, and to many other MNers).

Just like if a nursery in the UK was called Bigger Dreams or the zoo had a Tigger Time, we really don't need to look for explanations as to why they were comfortable with a name with such horrible associations. Because those are normal words here the association just doesn't arise.

The point being Romani women I know in America aren't offended by this. Neither am I. Because it's not being used in a derogatory way. Sometimes people try really hard to be offended. But surely if the intend isn't there, we need to try to be a bit more sensible and reasonable?