Am I being a snowflake about this - name of a nursery that is similar to something I find offensive ?

[Putoffalot]

AIBU to not want to send my child (of a mixed heritage) to a childminder with a name that is very similar to something offensive (GW). It’s come up when searching and is the closest to my work but I can’t even contemplate contacting them as it’s too close to the name of an offensive item ?

Unless you are black or have black children it’s not for you to assume anything. Listen to what the people who are offended are saying.

The poster has jumped to the conclusion that Tigger as a name is just the N word with a T instead.

Rather than the somewhat more obvious conclusion that Tigger is a fucking Tiger, a soft toy owned by a child and named by a child (a child who has named his bear Winnie The Pooh, his Kangaroos, Kanga and Roo.. need I go on...), and bears no resemblance in either behaviour or appearance to a parody of a black person.

I've had to Google what a GW was by replacing the P in Pollywogs and I would not send a child there - I can totally see why the name is offensive. I've not heard of either term until now but would expect a business to do some research about their name before deciding on it. I'd go with your gut on this one OP

The owner would have to be a complete idiot not to realise that the name contains a well known racist slur. Completely tone deaf, I understand OP and would feel the same. “Popping into Pollywogs to pick up my kid”, WTAF, you couldn’t say it.

Being offended by something is not proof that the person doing the thing you are offended by was aiming to offend.

The persons intention isn’t relevant, it’s the impact.

I barely recognize this place anymore. It's got really nasty ( and right wing GB news nasty). Can a mother who is black not ask other mums for an opinion on something that's upset her without people being downright horrible?

Total lack of of empathy here. I'm not black and I don't know what it's like to live as a black person in this country, but I can try and understand concerns and stand up when I see casual racism. I think your reaction @Putoffalot is completely understandable. It doesn't just rhyme, it is one letter different and a weird word I've not heard used for tadpoles in the UK ever.

I doubt the nursery owner has any ill intentions (although that's an assumption), but it is badly considered and quite ignorant not to realise this might be an issue.

To the person who basically called @Putoffalot a c**t, I've reported you. You should be ashamed of yourself. Some childish and really nasty comments. Sorry @Putoffalot .

That’s not what I’m saying 🙄

As has been mentioned there are animals like Raccoon, Maine Coon, Cocoon which contain an offensive term, which is quite emphasised when the words are said. Should these be banned too?

I think if they called their nursery Golliwogs in all ignorance you would have a fine point but taking offense to a word that is similar but has a long-established different meaning is just looking for reasons to be offended.

Exactly this!! So ridiculous - and it's often white women who have mixed children that seem to be the ones desperate to be offended 🤔

Do you have black children? Would you understand how it feels to read them a story and use the word tigger knowing how closely it rhymes with a highly offensive word? Don’t you think when you have to parent in FEAR you don’t make these connections?

Let's just say I give this nursery owner the benefit of the doubt that they aren't racist, and they are instead just breathtakingly dense and unaware of the connotations of the name.

That in itself would be enough reason to demonstrate it's an inappropriate setting for my mixed heritage or black child to spend their formative years in.

Perhaps that might be because until
we had children who have been racially abused at school we didn’t quite conceive how rife racism is. I’ve dealt with 4 racist incidents in the last 6 months. My youngest is SIX!!!!!

To clarify - I am black my husband is white

I am so shocked that people think you are being a snowflake! I think its appalling. Naming a nursery has to be very very carefully considered and they haven't which speaks volumes. It is way way too close to a racial slur. I dont know what on earth they were thinking but I wouldnt put my child in it for that reason and I am white and so are my children. Its racist or its accidentally racist (which shows they aren't mindful about these things) so either way I wouldn't want my kids there.

Im so pleased you posted this.

That is quite a comment you’re making there.

YANBU. It's a bloody horrible word and it is very reminiscent of GW. It's almost like they really wanted to call it GWs and couldn't so they called it Polliwogs.

I get it's an old English word. But to me it sounds like the work around of a racial slur.

Genuine question - and I'm not taking the piss here - but do you seriously not say the word tigger in your house? Or how about trigger?

I was really doubting myself thinking maybe I was overreacting, I do that a lot and I feel like it’s just another way that we are conditioned to feel that way - knowing how we feel yet the anxiety wondering if it’s being over sensitive. Then I think actually I can’t take for granted that it’s not racism that’s the sad reality

The name doesn’t have any racist connotations. A similar, but different word does.

But of course you would be entitled not to send your children there because you think using an old-fashioned/overseas word for tadpoles may be a sly racist attack.

Ever since my husband showed me how “tigger” was used in the nursery rhyme eeny meeny, I’ve been appalled and never ever used that word.

Same with ba ba black sheep.

Sick.

I wasn't actually referring to you OP.

This is not a rhyming comparison. There are many words which rhyme with racist terms. The name of this nursery rhymes with only one word and contains a racist slur.

I think part of it seems to be that the word seems to be very common for some MNers and totally unknown to others.

If it's a totally normal word then it won't strike your ears as related, and you wouldn't expect anyone else to make the connection either. (Eg plenty of common words rhyme with the same slur you are thinking of, and you probably use those every day).

My guess is the nursery owner is American or from somewhere where it's a normal word. Let's hope so certainly.