Am I being a snowflake about this - name of a nursery that is similar to something I find offensive ?

[Putoffalot]

AIBU to not want to send my child (of a mixed heritage) to a childminder with a name that is very similar to something offensive (GW). It’s come up when searching and is the closest to my work but I can’t even contemplate contacting them as it’s too close to the name of an offensive item ?

This place, honestly. Next we will be hearing that describing a corner shop as the P*s is fine as there’s no intention to harm.

Well, someone said

How do you feel about Tigger in Winnie the Pooh OP?

and someone else (not OP) said

Very uncomfortable. Especially when you understand the racist origins of eenie, meenie and how catch a tigger was the n - word….

Which sounds to me very much that they have a problem with Tigger in Winnie the Pooh.

People arent trying to be offended. They either are or they arent. If something wasnt meant to be offensive, but it is, then that person/institution/business needs to stop using that word. Its not news that words mean different things in different countries.

This word is too close to a racist slur here. Talking about how americans view the word gypsy is totally irrelevant.

But a grown woman refusing to use the word tigger in her house is way too much!!! 🤭🤣🤣 And I think you've not understood my point.

@WiddlinDiddlin

"If we eradicate all the words that have been used as a racist slur or offensive term somewhere in the world, we're likely to run out of words, but also and more importantly, we actually create a divide by making people afraid to speak to/interact with one another."

And precisely how would using racist slurs facilitate people communicating with each other? Words don't stop being racist, and how they are used will always matter. The word wog is disgusting, everyone in the UK should know this, and disguising it within an obscure name for a tadpole is at best stupid in the extreme, and therefore (as I advised OP in my post) I would avoid this nursery. I wouldn't want my children to be looked after by an idiot/racist (delete whichever you think more likely, I happen to think it's such an obviously offensive word within a word that it's the latter)

No, just thoughtless way. Wandering cat, wandering…

are you Romani?

Because when you think about that nursery rhymes origins its an awful racist rhyme - and 'tigger' replaced it. When i read that it gave me chills. I wasnt aware, I knew about the rhyme and I knew about the replacement but hadnt really thought about it. But its pretty awful and upsetting.

Sometimes it is good to learn from others - especially other races - about these things and be open rather than immediately defensive and screaming 'snowflake'. If you dont understand it, ask the poster for more details rather than shooting her down.

Romani people never intended to wander though (but I'm sure you're educated enough to know that). Someone calling me a dirty Gypsy is offensive. An innocent little old lady calling her cat Gypsy is not. Although I image some people would be offended.... 🙄 Some people in America view the word along the same lines as the n word, which I personally think is a bit much 🤔

But putting the nursery rhyme to one side. My mil has a cat called Tigger. She even writes his name on Xmas cards 🙄 The poster has said she refuses to even say the word - now that is ridiculous, and any reasonable person would agree with me there.

YANBU @Putoffalot That is a weird name! And waaaay too close to that offensive 'retro' toy! I know it's 'just a tadpole' but yeah it's a bit 'off.' I wouldn't be too chuffed about sending my child to a nursery with this name, especially if my child was mixed race.

Other people are entitled to not be offended/bothered, but you are entitled to be offended/bothered. No-one has the right to tell you otherwise.

.

I am white and wouldn’t send my children there - I think it’s a questionable name for a business.

I think all the posters thinking they are being oh so funny asking OP if she would be offended by <insert a word that rhymes with racist slur> should be ashamed of themselves.

I see that @MumWifeOther and I both had posts deleted by MNHQ presumably for what was deemed ad hominem attacks against one particular poster. Perhaps the responses could have been more articulate or academic. But sometimes you can’t argue with stupid and all you are left with is to call them what they are.

Such a lot of ignorance on this thread, but glad there are also lots of posters who do get it.

I am obviously talking about the words that mean one thing in one country and entirely another in another.

Not the words that are almost universally racist around the globe!

Polliwog is an example of this - here, in the UK, it has no racist origins, though the ending syllable means it would be thoughtless and crass to use it for a business name and may well cause offence - but in other countries it seems it has been used 'as is' as a slur.

'Master' has very strong racist associations in the US, whereas you'll find it in many childrens books in the UK as the polite term for a male child 'Master So and So', male equivalent of 'Miss' totally unrelated to racism, just the styling of the era.

There are many many nurseries called 'Little Monkeys' ... a term often used to refer to children but also 'monkey' has in the past been used offensively towards black children. So is that ok because the context is not racist (unless the business owner makes it clear it is of course)... or not because of its past use?

Someone else has asserted that the rhyme Baa Baa Black Sheep is racist - I can't see how, except for the word 'black'.

I don't know, and most people don't know, the origins of every word or phrase - I can have a guess at some and I'll avoid their use, I have no desire to offend anyone... but if I get it wrong, and somewhere there is an origin or root to something that is racist, somewhere, to someone... I am (going by some of the posts here, not yours as far as I've seen) immediately assumed to be deliberately and actively racist?

If that is the case then I had better avoid absolutely everyone who isn't the same race as me, safer eh. Certainly some folk would think, a lot easier.

Thats not what I want, but it is how people behave unfortunately, and I say that with the experience of having people actively avoid speaking to me precisely because they fear saying/doing the wrong thing and they know thats a possibility simply by looking at me.

Baa baa black sheep can be deemed as racist if you actually think about it.. I personally can’t bring myself to sing to my children “baa baa black sheep, have you any wool? yes sir, yes sir 3 bags full.. one for the master….”

Do you see why? It makes me squirm the same way eeny, meeny does.

And the same way this nursery name does.

Why would I put the nursery rhyme to one side when it’s precisely because of the nursery rhyme that I feel so disgusted? Someone tried to explain to you why I find the word uncomfortable and I think they did a pretty good job too. For some reason, you won’t accept how I feel about it. I don’t use it in my house and I don’t want to.

I feel very uncomfortable with the word tigger. For that reason, I have no desire to read Winnie the Pooh.

🤣😂😂😂😂🤣 Goodnight!!

So you have heard of the racist version? For this reason alone I don’t recite this nursery rhyme. I always heard the tigger version as a child and never made the association with racism until my (black) husband pointed it out. When he did I felt disgusted.

The same way I did when I really paid attention to words in baa baa black sheep… “have you any wool? Yes sir, yes sir, 3 bags full.. One for the master…” - again, when pointed out I was disgusted.

I have no desire to repeat either of these to my children or use the word tigger either.

The same way I did when I really paid attention to words in baa baa black sheep… “have you any wool? Yes sir, yes sir, 3 bags full.. One for the master…” - again, when pointed out I was disgusted

Fucking hell. Do you think master = slave master?!

Yes.

Crazy.

Are you black?

Why? You think I’m mzungu because I’m aware that the rhyme is not racist? Have you ever bothered to actually explore the origins instead of relying on others to tell you it’s meaning?

I wouldn't get upset about a barber's or cafe called "Sid's Barbers/Cafe" because it rhymes with an offensive term for Jews, so I don't understand quite why it bothers you so much. But if it does bother you, then it does, and you can look at other nurseries?