Common racist comments you hear in 2023?

[SleepDreamThinkHuge]

Compared to 30 years ago, how is racism different today?

For me, racism terms such as the n word p word are less used than they were 30 years ago. However, people have looked at other avenues. See comments below.

1. "You have a chip over your shoulder" every time someone mentions racism or their lived experience it goes straight to denial mode. You are blamed for your lived experiences and told to get over it and how UK is not racist.

2. "The UK abolished slavery. slavery was a long time ago." Every time someone tries to put forward a view of reparations of people who are still suffering from the effects of slavery they are shut down. "that was a long time ago we have changed and evolved."

3. "I feel like a foreigner in my own country." Which is probably one of the most stupid statements considering that over 80 percent of the population is white. I always answer if you feel like a foreigner how do minorities feel?

4. "name the racists" commonly said for Megan Markle that she should name the racists she claimed in the Royal family. But lets be honest if you did that the other person in whatever circumstance would just deny it and ultimately you will not be believed and be called someone who plays the race card and tarnishing other people's careers.

5. "Why do black people have their own spaces if white people had it we would be accused of racism" This is commonly said by the same people who are not as vocal when other groups have their own space e.g. women, LGBT groups etc.. It just seems like whenever black people have their own space people have to put them down. Take Ngozi Fulani the media made it seem she was the bad person people argued why her charity helps black people suffering from domestic abuse. Sad how she was forced out Sistah Space due to the abuse she faced but the media never mention that and the racism she had to face.

6. "Racism exists in all communities" this is another common one used and is a whataboutery technique. We have seen this with people like Kanye, KSI recently but what people forget there was a lot of criticism from the black community with their actions. So to suggest the black community or any other community does not do anything about racism is for the birds.

7. "My best friend is black" This is something you would hear from the EDL or Britain First. But you would be surprised how often you hear this by a lot of people. Just because your friend or relative is black, Muslim, Asian etc does not mean you cannot be racist. Even if you are a white mother and your child is mixed race does not mean you cannot be racist. It is baffling how a lot of people seem to forget this and think that my saying I cannot be racist because of this automatically means they cannot.

I am convinced that I inhabit at times a completely different universe when I read some things on here @PinotGroggio. On an earlier point about the demands for 'evidence' on a particular thread I am truly dumbfounded at times. I don't know if anyone remembers when there was a general discussion sparked by a woman who'd been asked to make the coffee/tea prior to a meeting and everyone concurred she was asked specifically because she is a woman despite men ,(including those who she manages), also attending the meeting who were not asked to do any such task. It invited stories upon stories of similar tales, from being asked to take minutes, to having workmen address their husbands and not them despite their husband's lack of knowledge/interest in the work being done. Comments women had received in the workplace about how they had dressed or styled their hair but none of their male colleagues being subjected to comments about the tawdry blue suit they've been wearing since 1993. Why was everyone so willing to accept, recognise and even relate to these experiences even if they hadn't experienced the exact same??

I will get off my soap box but thinking of when there were discussions on WFH - particularly how this might negatively affect women in the workplace - Hadaly and I had mentioned briefly upthread. Remarkable that the feminist angle on women and WFH centres on how it renders them more responsible for the mental load at home; not a singular cursory query about how BW will also experience the same negative impact of not been seen in the workplace but additionally experience the negative 'over exposure' of being in the workplace. How the workplace is actually a battleground for BW: you're not smiling = you must be angry. You want to correct someone on something = you must be furious. You just want to do your work and go home = you're 'not a team player', you want to 'join in' = you then open yourself up to all sorts of wayward behaviour.

I don't know why I keep going back. It is not helpful. It is so toxic. Yet I pop back in. Ffs.

I strongly suspect the mesh is to protect Cecil from getting pigeon shit all over his pristine features and to keep anyone from looping a rope round him to pull him off his pedestal.

I know how you feel.

Tbh, only on MN are such things not pointed out when it comes to the differing experience of BW.

As much as so many on MN want to point a finger at how bad the States are, the first thing pointed out there are if that had been an -insert any non-white person- reactions would have been different and it is usually the first thing people will point out yet here there is a refusal to acknowledge such things because then they would have to admit that the UK can be on par with racism as the States, they just choose to dismiss any poc that complains.

As much as so many on MN want to point a finger at how bad the States are, the first thing pointed out there are if that had been an -insert any non-white person- reactions would have been different and it is usually the first thing people will point out yet here there is a refusal to acknowledge such things because then they would have to admit that the UK can be on par with racism as the States, they just choose to dismiss any poc that complains.

Yes, you could be right about that come to think about it.

You’re a white woman that seems to live on “BLACK” mumsnetters. Your opinion is NOT wanted.

How the workplace is actually a battleground for BW: you're not smiling = you must be angry. You want to correct someone on something = you must be furious. You just want to do your work and go home = you're 'not a team player', you want to 'join in' = you then open yourself up to all sorts of wayward behaviour.

Yes. WFH I get so much more done as it is less stressful not to be living in a fishbowl with every expression and action second guessed and dissected. I am permanently WFH as I edit books, :)

One of my first jobs, was an office job and I had a manager that literally stood over me and dictated how I should write my emails because the manager was convinced I could not write English “how we do it here- er I mean here in this office”. (Uh huh sure you do) After a week, I’d send her draft emails that she would rewrite before I was allowed to send them! She often would correct my sentences from grammatically correct to grammatically incorrect. I resigned from that job after only a few weeks because I was going mad. She thought she was mentoring me, the young BW. She had no idea she was being white knight type of racist.

Anyway, you’re right they wouldn’t accept our stories as evidence. Just like some are not accepting that I know a Karen when I see one and that’s not misogyny.

Is she? Wtf?

Yes, she’s married to a black man which apparently gives her a black voice?

Really??
She's been saying she has black children. I didn't realise she meant mixed race black and white.

Are you sure?

Please lets not go there... Mixed heritage children are not a monolith. Many identify as Black and/or are treated as Black at least some of the time. Not everyone looks like Zendaya. Lndnmummy has been open that she is a white woman, and an ally, advocating as the mother of black children, at least one of which is a boy. Do you think the security officers in Superdrug saw Kirsty Buchanan's son as anything other than Black?

I'm mixed race black and white. I'm not sure where "there" is to go.

If your child looks more like Fleur East than Zendaya, how would you bring them up?

There are plenty of non-black parents of mixed children who learn that their children are seen and treated by society as black.

If your child looks more like Fleur East than Zendaya, how would you bring them up?

I have 3 kids. One looks like Fleur East and 2 look like Zendaya/Meghan Markle. I bring them up the same way I was brought up. To be who they are and not care how others see/treat them.

Really??
She's been saying she has black children. I didn't realise she meant mixed race black and white.
My apologises it read to me that you were policing the identity of children of mixed heritage or lighter skinned black people. Please accept my apologies, if that is not what you meant. My own grandparents, all from the same island, all black, produced a rainbow of black skinned children, all proud to be black. Their skin tones ranged from almost white passing to what would be considered quite dark. Colourism and the policing of 'blackness' has been a big part of my family's experience.

That really great and as it should be. Out of curiosity, were you given 'the talk' and Did you give your children 'the talk'? We had "the talk" but it included a bit on colourism and gender also.

Reno Edo-Lodge talks about how her own self identity changed as a result of how society saw her, in her book.

And who are you to say this. Plenty of posters on here are quite aware that Lndmummy is white. I have seen her around the board plenty of times asking for advice, or talking about her experiences raising mixed heritage children. She is welcome here.

This to me brings forward the idea of allyship.

At my previous workplace, we had allies for each minority staff group (Race, LGBT, Carers, Disability) who were individuals not necessarily affected by the issues of the group, but would offer individuals from those groups support and a listening ear.

These allies worked really well as those individuals weren't seeking to speak from the perspective of the staff groups, but to amplify their voices and provide support where they could.

I have come across so many instances where a non-Black person with a Black <insert relative here>, decides they can now speak on behalf of that person by almost taking on their persona, but to Black people those individuals can come across as disingenuous or fake or try-hard, and from what I've seen, it's a fine line for them to tread.

Personally I welcome true allies, as they are absolutely essential in the fight against racism.

Personally I welcome true allies, as they are absolutely essential in the fight against racism.

Same here. And I think at this point it's fairly easy to detect a genuine ally from various groups of so-called allies, my personal favourite being the 'Show me the evidence' camp, closely followed by 'We are all women' allies. The reason I say it's easy to detect true allies is merely from the premise they base their argument. That theatre show which encouraged Black people to attend for one-night, not at the exclusion of other races, but in efforts to increase Black theatre audience participation especially in a show which explores race-related issues bought all manner of headbangers out of the woodworks. If you notice the energy they have when describing the initiative as a form of segregation and querying how they're supposed to "speak out" yet simultaneously "listen". It's disingenuous at best and at worst you can just tell from the language that some of them really stay waiting for an opportunity to present itself which they deem 'big enough' to go full throttle.

Those people have never claimed to be allies. They simply claim to not be racist, which is different.

I imagine what StarSeeking is saying (and I could be wrong), and I agree, is that the difference between genuine and fake allies is that one makes it all about them and the other knows it's not all about them. 🤷🏽‍♀️

I've come across many who claimed to be, even had the merch to go with on rallies and the like. I'm yet to find anyone who engages in discourse in these matters openly claim to be racist, or wear their racism as a badge of honour so claiming they're not racist is really never here nor there. Even in our shared online space there are boards full of women who've in various forms proclaimed their allyship credentials only to be found wanting when asked what it is about e.g. a certain word/vernacular they find so abhorrent that sets it apart from other so-called misogynistic language. That is why I said I've found it easier to detect as time goes by because pretty much every single one of them starts from the premise that they aren't racist.

Yes, that is absolutely what I meant, to your second paragraph @Timeos