Common racist comments you hear in 2023?

[SleepDreamThinkHuge]

Compared to 30 years ago, how is racism different today?

For me, racism terms such as the n word p word are less used than they were 30 years ago. However, people have looked at other avenues. See comments below.

1. "You have a chip over your shoulder" every time someone mentions racism or their lived experience it goes straight to denial mode. You are blamed for your lived experiences and told to get over it and how UK is not racist.

2. "The UK abolished slavery. slavery was a long time ago." Every time someone tries to put forward a view of reparations of people who are still suffering from the effects of slavery they are shut down. "that was a long time ago we have changed and evolved."

3. "I feel like a foreigner in my own country." Which is probably one of the most stupid statements considering that over 80 percent of the population is white. I always answer if you feel like a foreigner how do minorities feel?

4. "name the racists" commonly said for Megan Markle that she should name the racists she claimed in the Royal family. But lets be honest if you did that the other person in whatever circumstance would just deny it and ultimately you will not be believed and be called someone who plays the race card and tarnishing other people's careers.

5. "Why do black people have their own spaces if white people had it we would be accused of racism" This is commonly said by the same people who are not as vocal when other groups have their own space e.g. women, LGBT groups etc.. It just seems like whenever black people have their own space people have to put them down. Take Ngozi Fulani the media made it seem she was the bad person people argued why her charity helps black people suffering from domestic abuse. Sad how she was forced out Sistah Space due to the abuse she faced but the media never mention that and the racism she had to face.

6. "Racism exists in all communities" this is another common one used and is a whataboutery technique. We have seen this with people like Kanye, KSI recently but what people forget there was a lot of criticism from the black community with their actions. So to suggest the black community or any other community does not do anything about racism is for the birds.

7. "My best friend is black" This is something you would hear from the EDL or Britain First. But you would be surprised how often you hear this by a lot of people. Just because your friend or relative is black, Muslim, Asian etc does not mean you cannot be racist. Even if you are a white mother and your child is mixed race does not mean you cannot be racist. It is baffling how a lot of people seem to forget this and think that my saying I cannot be racist because of this automatically means they cannot.

I havent seen that brand I will have a look at it. I use a couple of expensive home treatments but my primary expense is the sheer volume of products we get through in our house. I tend to buy in batches of 10 for the stuff we can all use but thereafter the difference in curls and coils combined with ever changing product formulations means we always have about 6 other types of leave-in or gels etc on the go in the search for a product that we all love. I used to like Shea Moisture but the formulation.has changed. I see the reformulstions of black hsir products as a reflection of how little value the larger companies place on their black customer's needs.

Omg wtf!

Not sure how I missed this. Isn't it frightening they don't feel any shame in uttering such nonsense.

Anyone see the other thread where apparently the women did not steal the bike and she cried because she was threatened by the black men who are accusing her of racism..

That's the thread that lily the moderator was referencing when she posted on here yesterday. Although this thread is was not set up to talk about that thread, mentioning or referencing it is considered the same. it would not surprise me if your message is reported and deleted as some people want to let us know that they are watching us, in our 'privileged' corner of Mumsnet. Some of the comments up thread, if they are still ther, may make more sense now.

LilyMumsnet · Yesterday 09:03
Hi all

Please can we ask that you avoid discussing other threads elsewhere on the boards? We have a blanket ban on threads about threads as it makes things quite tricky to moderate. If you have any concerns about post(s), please report them to us using the report button. We're always more than happy to take a look.

You've forgotten one @SleepDreamThinkHuge - the derogatory use of the word "woke" to show contempt to anything vaguely progressive.

I see the reformulstions of black hsir products as a reflection of how little value the larger companies place on their black customer's needs.

And this is precisely why I only buy my hair products from Akoma skincare which is a black owned company, shea butter, organic oils, and aloe vera gel, and make my own hair cream. I am not giving my money to these hair companies that do not reflect us in their advertising, or sideline us when they do make it big, due to our support any more. I am done going into the hair shop for supplies to be treated with suspicion, and thinly veiled contempt. It saddens me that so many black women are willing to put up with third rate service in these shops, and are paying through the nose to do so. Collectively they are spending a fortune to economically benefit other people.

This wasn’t on MN, this was IRL. So, of course you missed it! 😅
Sorry I did not specify.

https://www.alaffia.com/pages/hair
I discovered them on a business trip to the US. I had to go to a black tie event and booked into a specialist salon to have my hair done in an elegant up-do for the night and they used this amazing curl conditioner that defrizzed my hair instantly and I immediately bought some to bring back- it was Alaffia. I looked up their founder & owner (African entrepreneur), values and ethics (they do a lot for women in West Africa with the Queen Alaffia program). They are all about natural sustainable ingredients acquired by fair trade and products based on traditional African recipes developed over centuries for us. So now I order off Amazon U.K. Its one of my self care treats.

Thank you , I will definitely take the a look. Now all I have to do is how to work out how to hide it from the heavy handed DCs😂

I should make more of an effort to do that and definitely will at least make a mask. My sister makes a really nice home made one. Its just laziness that has stopped me. I try to avoid going to the shops full stop these days, I find my tolerance for being watched, followed or people hugging their bags a bit more tightly, is so low. Just sitting here typing that I am thinking that it has been 0 months since the last time I was followed or observed in a shop. I wasn't dressed scruffily and nor did I have a big bag. But this is tolerant country...😂

Ah right. I suspect it would be permissible text on MN😂

Definitely give making your own hair mask a go @Socrateswasrightaboutvoting . We are fortunate that there is so much information on how to take care of highly textured hair now. I used to follow a couple of youtubers with my type of hair, which is 4C. I wish that I had the knowledge on hair care that I have now, when I was a teenager. I would have saved myself a small fortune😦I am now very low maintenance as far as hair is concerned😄.

I am low maintenance (daily top up with moisture/ spritz)/high maintenance (that's 5 hours I will never get back) 3C/4A + some that just defy typing 😂 Its amazing what choice there is and how easy it is to find tutorials online. Its a different story to when I was a child when my mums weapons of choice were Lanolin or Dax!

Oh Lord, the Dax, Dixy Peach, or good ole plain Vaseline!😒@Socrateswasrightaboutvoting . Now my thirsty kinks get treated to Shea butter, sweet almond, or even palm kernel oil. Lush😆

My poor mother had no idea how to care for my hair properly really, and boy I can remember her washing, and then drying my hair, and when it was bone dry using a small straight tooth comb to go through it. Not fun times. But she was very gentle, and patient which helped.

@HadalyEve
Thanks for posting about Alaffia- which products of their range do you use? Also have 4c hair and looking for something long term. Also can it be bought anywhere else?

I read a brilliant article (I wish I could remember where it was!) about the whole of America basically doing #7 en masse: we can’t be a racist country because we elected a black president. Australia did the same with misogyny when they elected a woman as president. I guess the uk (or at least the Tory party) is the same in that respect.

Sorry, my curls are type 3. Alaffia has a curl sculpt range for 4/4c but their range for type 3 is curl enhance. I use their Curl Reviving Tonic as the leave in defrizzer I mentioned upthread and I use the Neem Tumeric Shampoo. OnBuy sometimes has their stuff. I’m a bit worried now as their US webpage is showing tons as unavailable now I am hoping they are not going out of business 😩😫 it’s so hard to find something that works and then keep losing it!

My auntie tried her best. Showed me how to make an olive oil defrizzer spritz for my hair. It did work, but children at school sometimes would make a big show of sniffing and go ‘smells like a salad in here’. There just weren’t the products in the 70s so it was what can you make from your kitchen.

Drying

Posted too soon. Drying!😮 You mean your hair got direct on hair washing day? We were normalluy 3 days in before it was dried😂 Our hair was combed, greased (no other word for it) and plaited when wet. With a rotating 3 plaits or two plaits the usual format. There were many tears and comb 'taps' the the head. My siblings and I laugh about it now but at the time... It's the only time my mum spoke patois. I had forgotten about Dixy and Vaseline. When ever it was a long time until payday the Vaseline came out😂
@HadalyEve Thanks for the curl typing info on Alaffia. School was always pretty rough when you had afro textured hair. We probably would have thought you were posh if you had an olive oil spritz. I can hear my mum asking me if she was made of money if I had asked her about an olive oil spritz, back then.

Does any one remember the early black GHDs? Metal comb + stove ring... I can still smell the burning hair now.

No idea why Rishi didn't get that job first time round. 🤔

Does anyone else ever completely forget themselves and end up exasperatedly explaining things to white people be it in IRL or online? I make a point of not engaging because I'm not the one to educate someone who intentionally wants to misunderstand, misconstrue and most certainly aggravate but sometimes I completely lose this sense and find myself in a circle of "YES ALL WOMEN EXPERIENCE MISOGYNY, SO WHAT DO YOU THINK IT'S LIKE FOR BLACK WOMEN!?!" Thing is it's completely disingenuous if you think about it; most women can detect and have experienced misogyny and can most certainly recognise 'low level' misogyny - so how can they not connect the dots between that and understanding racism does not mean someone calling you the n-word or throwing a banana at you in the street.

Kudos to your Auntie @HadalyEve . I hear what you are saying about the children at school making comments. I used to feel so self conscious, and sadly a bit worried about how my hair styles would be commented on when I was working in an office that was made up of majority white people. Yes I could have just worn my hair in a bun etc like I usually did, but I was young and liked wearing my hair in braids with extensions. One older lady asked me how did my hair grow so long overnight!