Comments from non Black women [Content warning added by MNHQ: mentions sexual offences in later post]

[hibye123]

I briefly read a thread posted on this board and even though I can't remember exactly what the post was about. I remember the OP had put a disclaimer in case the thread had appeared on the Active board and said that the post wasn't intended to offend anyone, rather it was posted in a safe space for Black women to support one another (or something along those lines!)

Sometimes when I look on a thread on this board I'll see comments from non Black women such as 'I hope it's okay if I chip in on here,' or 'I'm white and hope you don't mind if I comment' and so on.

I know this is the internet and no one can control who posts where but sometimes it makes me think what's the point in us having our own board when it's not entirely exclusive to us. There's loads of other boards that I might sometimes read through but wouldn't comment on because I simply can't relate. Such as the LGBT children/parents board or even the Scotsnet board just to give a few examples.

I was looking through previous threads and saw a similar thread had been made about a year ago regarding non Black women commenting on this board and saw this post quoted from a member of the Mumsnet team.
It read 'Just nipping in with a quick reminder ........

This board was set up as we're aware there will be sensitivities and common experiences that Black MNers will find easier to talk about in a dedicated space.

The board exists primarily for the use of black Mumsnetters. While others are of course welcome to use it, please be respectful and mindful that this is a 'safe space' for those posters. While some may be happy to answer questions on race, others may not and it's not their responsibility to educate on these issues.'

I really think it's great we have a Black MNetters board as different groupes of people really have different experiences within society, especially as we're considered to be apart of an ethnic minority. I also think the above comment from MNHQ was perfect! I just wondered what other Black women think when they see comments from non Black women on here

@MillieMumsnet

Hi all - just nipping in with a quick explainer... For those posters who are new to this part of the talk forum, we’d like to point you in the direction of this thread which explains why we introduced it. In a nutshell, it was decided that there are sensitivities and common experiences that Black MNers will find easier to talk about in a dedicated space. The board exists primarily for the use of black Mumsnetters. While other posters are welcome to use it, please be respectful and mindful that this is a ‘safe space’ for those posters. While some may be happy to answer questions on race, others may not and it’s not their responsibility to educate on these issues. With that in mind, please do be mindful of our Talk Guidelines when posting - and as always, if you see any posts that concern you, please report them directly to MNHQ. Peace and love.

No doubt this thread has been reported many times, so I'm really glad HQ have stepped in to explain (again!). Thanks @MillieMumsnet.

I mean this politely but how can it be a “safe space” on an anonymous forum with 16 million people where no one is verified as to who they are and posters can and do name change regularly.

Mnhq always post that they can’t verify anyones identity and that they cannot stop media copying and using threads, so how can any place on here be a safe space?

If it’s intended as a safe space, which is a perfectly valid requirement , then mnhq need to make it so, and control and verify who can access it. Not leave it open to millions of anonymous people, who could be anyone masquerading as anyone to use the space.

I keep hearing about mumsnet being a safe space, but it’s not. It’s a huge anonymous forum, and it should not be touted by moderators as a safe space to members.

That's probably why they referenced 'safe space' in inverted commas, so creating it as far as can be, in the environment you describe, @Bluntness100.

@Bluntness100

Safe In that discussions can be had not the exchanging of bank details or anything.

Bluntness. Do you think that BMN users don't understand how the internet works? Please, just look at your post. Are you telling us anything we didn't already know? No.

Please then go and do an engine search on the terms "whitesplaining" and see if it rings any bells.

@TheBlackDarner I'd stop engaging with her. She's notorious for this stuff. She doesn't want to learn.

I know @JingsMahBucket

It's like having your very own Blue Peter demonstration.

"Here's a whitesplainer we prepared earlier"

Thanks for the grounding though. You are right.
I'll go and have a cup of tea instead

@Blackisblackisblack

It would entirely depend on the subject

Well, I'm happy to answer any questions (where I can) as I think you are genuine and not just after a bit of drama

Thank you! And definitely zero on the drama....no thank you 👋

bluntness

Please see a part of my original post. We deserve to have a 'safe space' from antagonists, such as yourself:

I also think that we are patronised, and that we don't deserve agency over our own thoughts/feelings, and if we'd just listen to that (white) woman over there, we may come to our senses!

@TheBlackDarner

Bluntness. Do you think that BMN users don't understand how the internet works? Please, just look at your post. Are you telling us anything we didn't already know? No.

Please then go and do an engine search on the terms "whitesplaining" and see if it rings any bells.

I was refering to the moderator, who I have no idea of his or her skin colour. I apologise if it felt anything else and won’t return to the thread.

goodgrief, you are welcome. As I said before, I think you are genuine and not trying to kick up dust

@GoodGrief100 just read through all of your comments. I understand what you mean about not starting your own thread as it may not attract comments from the targeted audience. By all means it's the Internet and you're free to ask a genuine question there and then on a thread but I'd say just expect many people to not want to be the one to provide the answers to your questions. Some may also be more than happy too!

I get your point about not trusting the media or online information sources but in my opinion is isn't my duty (as the oppressed) to educate White people on issues like Systemic Racism or failures that's been around for years. There's more than enough credible sources on the Internet to give you information.

However I do think it's good that you're interested in finding out more about these issues even though you're not surrounded by any black people and I'd be more than happy to speak via PM as you do genuinely seem as if you'd like to be further educated

@Bluntness100 It did. But we got there in the end, thankyou.
@GoodGrief100 ( no relation?)

@PutTheSinkInTheWashingMachine

It's not about being on Active or not. That's an odd and convenient excuse. It's as simple as reading the OP and seeing "I just want to know what other Black women think..." - Like this thread. Then asking yourself "Am I a Black woman?"

Where the OP hasn't mentioned this (because the OP may not be looking for that specifically but for anyone to contribute), you could get away with that excuse, even if the thread is obviously about Black women's first hand experience.

Yes thank you this is really what it's about! Reading something and wondering if you relate enough to comment and more often than not, they don't relate in anyway! I'm starting to think we're the same person because you're honestly saying everything that I'm thinking😂😂

It might be worth speaking to mumsmet to see if they can change how this thread is accessed. I’m only posting because it’s showing up in active threads.

I totally understand that you need a space on here. Perhaps it’s just not so clear for everyone 💐

Just to add, perhaps upon clicking on the thread, a notice could show up just explaining who can contribute?

Doesn't hurt to read the OP first. If you're posting because you 'found this in Active' but can't be bothered to read the OP, that's on you, not because it's on Active.

To be fair, I also see this everywhere on mumsnet. People can't help but drop their pearls of wisdom.

OP: Looking to hear from people who earn 100k and above. What's it like? What do you do?
Or OP: If you work as a nurse, what's it like?

Posts from MNetters: I don't earn anywhere near that amount or I'm not in that field but here's my well-needed comment about something you haven't asked for...blah blah blah.

Me: 😳 Thinking: That's not what the OP's about now, is it?

Thank you to @MillieMumsnet for stepping in and linking the thread which introduced this board and how it came about. Thank you also for the title change to give a heads up to other posters

I definitely agree with @TheBlackDarner in regards to having some sort of pinned heading to the top of the board and would love if this could be discussed and we could be updated and so forth. I think it'd just make things a lot clearer for a lot of people and will stop BMN having to add Disclaimers even when they're posting on this board and really shouldn't have too!

I'm starting to think we're the same person because you're honestly saying everything that I'm thinking 😂😂

🤣 I'll take that. MN twins! Always nice to see someone on the same wavelength

I agree that this board shouldn't be in Active.
I'm only chipping in because it was in Active and I can't help but trying to learn.
Sorry I failed to keep schtum, but I wanted to show my support even though I'm aware this place is not about me.

love & peace, Zing's out

@Sunshine08

I think if there is enough support, we should have our own forum. I appreciate not everyone will be on board and that’s perfectly fine but I’m happy to have the conversation with others who would want to work together to start one.

Yes I'm 100% down for this @Sunshine08

Maybe some white posters do want to learn and as part of that would like to ask questions. It's ok to read the threads if you are white but please don't post anything is the very clear message given out by a lot of posters. It's a shame as this board could be an excellent source of information for white people but they just aren't welcome.

muldersspeedos RTFT

I have RTFT.

@muldersspeedos

Maybe some white posters do want to learn and as part of that would like to ask questions. It's ok to read the threads if you are white but please don't post anything is the very clear message given out by a lot of posters. It's a shame as this board could be an excellent source of information for white people but they just aren't welcome.

And that's all good and well but why come into the space where Black women are having discussions with other fellow Black women to ask questions.

Why can't some start their own threads in the Chat area asking questions and specifying who their post is really for?
It's not that white people aren't welcome but this board isn't meant to be a place to provide 'excellent sources of information' as it's not intended for white people period.
It is really so simple.

As a pp said upthread 'Because the Black women on BMN aren't here to do the work for you. To be used for our knowledge and resources, as has happened for millennia before. We are tired of this, and won't stand for it in a space created for us.
Coming to BMN to ask Black women questions THAT YOU CAN GOOGLE is lazy, entitled behaviour from my perspective.'
Of course the questions depend on the circumstances but many times research beforehand would have answered their questions