Urgent School say my Sons hair is too short!

[Dontjudgeme101]

My son told me last night, that the his hair is cut too short. The school have had, if it happens again, that he will have to go into isolation until it grows to a acceptable level. I need to contact school this morning to speak to them about it. It looks neat and tidy and it grows really quickly. His hair is mixed and he doesn’t look after it properly. Is there anything, that’ll can say to the school, or will l just have to accept that it’s too short?

@Frazzledbutcalm

At the end of the day these are the school rules. Whether we think they’re stupid/pointless or not, they’re the rules. Uniform rules. Plain and simple. We all have to abide by rules in life - whether we agree with them or not.

If school have visibly noticed his hair is too short, then it’s likely actually way too short.

Have school asked you to contact them or are you contacting them off your own bat? If it’s the former, they’re probably just gonna say it’s an inappropriate length so that you know not to get it that short again. If it’s the latter, I wouldn’t bother. You’ll probably make more of an issue of this than it is at the moment.

The school haven’t asked me to contact them. I was going to contact them, as l don’t want him in isolation for a haircut. It’s my fault. When he came back from the barbers , l thought how smart, it looks for school.l just didn’t think it looked extreme for school. If it had it entirely bald, then l would have said, school won’t like it.

Blindstupid where did I state you were racist?

I pointed out from the way you are writing your posts you are showing you are neither black nor an ally as you have demonstrated ignorance around the politics of black hair issues whether it is length or hair colour.

Stating you don't see race is actually a big problem as like the school you don't seem able to understand that you cannot apply European hair style standards to those with afro or very curly hair.

Black boys and men have had short including very short hair since we came en masse to the "mother country" so very short hair styles are not a trend with us.

I have seen long hair, short hair, blue hair, etc on the way into school. They wear a uniform too but hair isn't part of it

I find the idea that anything other than education and polite interpersonal interactions is school's business - outrageous. Provided that a child is clean and properly dressed - dabbling into their appearance is a gross overstep into their personal space and freedom of expression, in my book.

@SleepingStandingUp

Firstly op you are not in the wrong because you did not take him for a hair cut. How Dad did. Why are you the sacrificial lamb for your DPs error?

Can DP talk to school as it was his decision?

Otherwise if it's just 5he fads say you will talk to your Dp and will look at something different for next time.

Thank you for saying that. I will show him this post, when he gets back from work.

@Blindstupid
I agree the haircut rules are stupid and bear no relation to the ability to learn ... but it’s still a rule and that’s that. All of our life has rules. Do we all just abide by the ones we personally like and think are okay? Life doesn’t work that way.

That's really cute and easy to say that when most of the rules were made for you in mind.

@HmmmmmmInteresting

OP, this thread has been hijacked by non-black mumsnetters so you'll get a lot of minimising and 'you knew the rules before you signed up' bullshit.

Exactly. School rules about haircuts have been shown time and again to discriminate against black children. If people don’t understand that context, then their comments are at best unhelpful. That won’t stop more people from sticking their oars in, despite being unaware of this context. No shock there, alas, though I wish they would at the very least notice which board they have chosen to post on.

I hope no one is wasting their MP's time on stupid complaints about school uniform rules. I think dealing with school's over zealous uniform rules is better use of our MPs time than the £4000/month side hustle he has in consultancy work.

I agree his hair will no doubt look lovely OP. Fades usually do look very fashionable and smart. I like them.

But at least now you know he can’t have that in future ... he’s not going to be put in isolation unless he gets it cut this way again - so just make sure everyone who might take him for a cut knows that he can’t have it this short again. Problem solved. Personally I wouldn’t contact the school, but that’s me and my personal opinion.

I do agree haircut rules are old fashioned and not indicative of the world we live in now, but at the same time, it’s a life lesson - there’s always rules we have to live with and abide by.

These sort of rules really piss me off. How your child has his hair cut is nothing to do with the school unless it poses a safety risk.

"as l don’t want him in isolation for a haircut. It’s my fault."

How can you possibly think that it's your fault when you didn't take him to the barbers?

He's 13-he also needs to take some responsibility for knowing the policies of the school that he attends.

He wouldn't be being put in isolation for the haircut as such-but for deliberately doing something that he now knows is against school policy.

@TooMuchAndNotEnough they eventually do notice and they post the standard tropes....

(Sorry I'm listening to the interview of a Windrush victim whose won his Court case against the Home Office.)

red .... I didn’t say you stated I was racist ... I said please don’t infer I’m racist as that’s how I took your ‘ally’ comment - as I explained earlier.

Stating you don't see race is actually a big problem ... these are not my words.

As I also stated earlier ... this thread is about hair that has been cut too short - as stated by the OP.

@Dontjudgeme101
The school haven’t asked me to contact them. I was going to contact them, as l don’t want him in isolation for a haircut. It’s my fault. When he came back from the barbers , l thought how smart, it looks for school.l just didn’t think it looked extreme for school. If it had it entirely bald, then l would have said, school won’t like it.

Oh dear, do not blame yourself at all. You, your son, and your husband were living your every day lives and some ignorant school head decided to penalize you from being just regular Black folks taking care of yourselves as you see fit. Please do not feel guilty. Understand that the school is overreacting and your next move is to push back and ask them to prove how this rule applies to your son in his actual context, not the broad application of the rule. Also ask them to justify the time spent on this matter and who exactly measured his hair in order to make this assessment. Watch them freeze up...

And next time try not to come into a space specifically for Black women and immediately discount their experience with racism and prejudice. Try sitting and reading for better context first before letting your fingers do the talking without any context or framing of experience. Black people have been in this situation before many times and we recognize it immediately. Unfortunately we’re experts in dealing with the effects of racism in or day to day lives. Let the experts do the talking here.

Very well said!

I hope no one is wasting their MP's time on stupid complaints about school uniform rules
Er, yes I have actually and they were very supportive.

Blindstupid where did I state you were racist?

@RedMarauder as they say in the southern US, "A hit dog will holler..." 😏

I just cannot understand how a boys hair can be deemed to be 'too short'.
It's bizarre.

When I was at school many of the lads had ponytails actually or just whatever but we had no set hair rules... didn't stop us learning.

My cousins daughter (with bobbed hair) was at sixth form Comprehensive school aged 18 three years ago, was all set to become head girl & decided to shave up one side of her hair.
She was no longer allowed to be head girl & actually told her grades would be affected by her hair ffs!!
How can grades be affected by a haircut??
My cousin & his wife are from surfer culture & had approved her style, they were cross but the school ignored them.

OP I think you should complain

My other cousin's son has Afro hair which is very short round the sides & curly on top.
He's autistic so doesn't like his hairstyle changing too much.
But he's not in secondary school yet.

@GordonPym

I am sorry you are going through this. Kids should be allowed to express their identity and personality. I find hair rules and uniform to be totally anachronistic.

Did I understand right? He doesn't have to go in isolation this time, but if it happens again he will?

Yes, that’s correct

I’m pretty sure they used to shave heads years ago because of nits. So saying you can’t have it short seems ridiculous. I wonder if it’s to prevent
the association with skin heads and violence ? I really don’t get it.

jings ... yeh join in making assumptions ... another stupid idiotic ill informed assumption/comment.
Honestly get a grip.

@Blindstupid

jings ... yeh join in making assumptions ... another stupid idiotic ill informed assumption/comment. Honestly get a grip.

I don't think you intend it this way, but what you're writing is leaning quite heavily into micro-aggressions. The default (unfortunately) in the UK (and other European countries) is white. This means that rules and regulations are put in place for white people with no consideration for Black and other minorities. It's discrimination, just because it's not obvious in your face discrimination, doesn't mean it isn't.

damn .. I’m literally commenting on a haircut that OP herself has said is too short and against the rules. I don’t understand why posters are making more out of it when the OP has stated this is the situation.

It's just a smart and fairly traditional hairstyle, not extreme at all.