Urgent School say my Sons hair is too short!

[Dontjudgeme101]

My son told me last night, that the his hair is cut too short. The school have had, if it happens again, that he will have to go into isolation until it grows to a acceptable level. I need to contact school this morning to speak to them about it. It looks neat and tidy and it grows really quickly. His hair is mixed and he doesn’t look after it properly. Is there anything, that’ll can say to the school, or will l just have to accept that it’s too short?

@00100001

...why is this urgent?

It was urgent, as laws going to phone the school first thing this morning, when they first opened at 8:40am this morning. I just wanted some advice before l rang them.

I remember my primary school saying a boy's hair was too short thirty odd years ago, boggled at it then, and thought this attitude would have gone out with the ark by now.

This really annoys me.

I mean, unless a kid has aggressive symbols shaved into their hair, wtf does it matter how long or short it is?

It's one thing the Australian education system haven't caught up on yet (although doubtless they will in the next few years, they seem to like to copy the more ridiculous aspects of the UK system a few years later), so kids here are allowed to have their hair pretty much however they like, so long as it's not offensive, lice ridden, or a health hazard.
They're even allowed to dye it, have it in the most ridiculous styles (IMO) and have dreads if they want. DS1 currently has shoulder length hair and the only person who has a go at him about it is his Dad, school couldn't care less so long as he keeps it tidy and safe during activities.

I hope that you can get somewhere with the school - it's a stupid policy - but yeah, if you can't then your DS will have to wait until he leaves school to have his hair how he wants it.

@Cocoabutterkim

And a fade is not a ‘trendy’ haircut it is a haircut that black men have been wearing for many years as it has far less upkeep requirements for the wearer. No wearing of silk scarves to bed, no feta bling, simple wash routine. It’s an easy to manage yourself style.

Yes it being recently trendy for all ethnicities does not take away from it's origin nor invalidate the reasons why Black men chose it and how it makes haircare manageable for them.

Really annoyed about this OP. Wish those minimising would note the board you posted in and why you chose to post here.

Write to the school and ask them specifically about their policy as it relates to Type 3 and 4 hair and that the same policy cannot be used for different hair types. It is discrimination

Schools have become increasingly corporate over pupil's appearance. I think it is time MP stepped in to deal with Headteacher's corporate tinged vanity project. For those saying you agreed to the rules go elsewhere - they are all the bloody same. There is no choice!

It’s ridiculous. I teach food and I think the shorter the better, I hate these ridiculous perms on top they are having because it is then at the point it needs tying up/a hair net which never goes down well.

Hope the school were ok with you when you rang.

I'm going to apologise for stepping into this - because this thread is trending at the moment, I didn't see which board it was on until I read the other comments about it.
I think you'll find that's why some posters are unaware (as I was) of the area in which you are posting.

@evilharpy

I've also wandered in from the Active list but am baffled by the rationale behind such an arbitrary rule.

Apologies if I've missed this OP, I did read your posts, but out of interest is there also a rule about maximum hair length for boys? Does it say it has to be kept short?

It says long hair has to be tied back for health and safety reasons. Doesn’t state gender about long hair.

@diddl

He's not going to be isolated because of his hair is he?

A school policy has been broken (deliberately?)

And the isolation would be as a result of him doing this again.

A school policy wasn’t deliberately broken, thank you very much! If l had known it was, he wouldnt have had that particular style of haircut.lts my fault, l should known the school hair policy.

Out of curiousity if your kids go to state school, did any of you actually "sign up" to it?

Am I the only one that was given six "preferences", not "choice", and got none of them and had to send my DD to a school that still is no fit for purpose will not push forward with testing for SEN and for whom I need to pay extra for tutors where her issues are dealt with. Because I can afford to. God forbid anyone else has the same issues from a less well off background.

PS: I totally amended that parent agreement shite that I didn't agree with and refused to sign it, yet she still attends school and we have no problems

Wow, is this a real thing?

I have a 14m old and had no idea this kind of thing happens. I didn’t go to school in the UK & nobody cared about hair where I was!

They won't allow a neat and tidy fade with a grade 1.5 that's easy to care for but they would allow waist length hair in a ponytail then. Makes no sense.

I agree with the need for rules and boundaries but not arbitrary rules that appear to be based on someone's whim and that make life more difficult.

I would like to thank everyone who has commented on my thread. It has really touched me. I haven’t rang the school yet. I think l am going to wait and maybe phone them tomorrow. I will show dh this thread and l will talk to him about this matter.

Can you say that you respect school rules but it is difficult to abide this rule because it doesnt take into account how black people care and can care for their hair?

I would say this to them and hint that you will be looking into getting legal advice on discrimination. That will scare the pants off them. They will not want a row in the local press, morning TV and social media.

A school rule wasn't deliberately broken. Ops DS has got a perfectly normal, smart haircut that tbh the majority of teenage boys have. Youd struggle to find a barber who won't cut a fade these days!

Op isn't insisting her DS goes into school with an extreme hairstyle, but she is thinking of challenging a rule that she's not happy with. Rules do not have to be blindly followed, if people disagree with a rule its perfectly okay to challenge that rule.

In this case its a stupid rule, and its absolutely fine to challenge it. Op has said this hairstyle helps her DS manage his hair type as he struggles to care for it if its longer, she and other posters feel the rule is discriminatory. She is quite sensibly thinking of contacting the school about this

Tell them it is grade 2 and ask them to prove you wrong. It'll grow half a grade in less than a week anyway.

I cut mine to grade 2 at least one a week and I'm 41 & balding!

I've just realised how much of this thread is "uniforms stop kids from standing out and being bullied" but noone is saying let's stop these kids taking the piss out of others.
Seems like keeping uniform spotless means the school deals with less bullying so can say bullying isnt an issue at their school.

My point is they must get some haircut somehow and if it's being done at home it's most likely to be a buzz cut or a fade cut. Don't call me arrogant, you don't know anything about me. I've cut all my son's hair with (terrible) fades throughout lockdown and one of them is still getting me to do them to save money - he pays for his own haircuts out of his wages as he is 16. I was trying to reassure the OP that she has done nothing wrong, lists of boys of lots of different ethnicities have this cut and it will look perfectly "fine" from the schools point of view by Monday.

Stupidest rule I ever heard.
My word back at my school in London the girls had long hair short hair the boys the same. Dreadlock sometimes. What's it got to do with anything if the clothing is smart and the kid is clean.

@ThumbWitchesAbroad

I'm going to apologise for stepping into this - because this thread is trending at the moment, I didn't see which board it was on until I read the other comments about it. I think you'll find that's why some posters are unaware (as I was) of the area in which you are posting.

Yes, this is happening a lot at the moment, hence why a lot of people get harsh responses when they've not posted in AIBU.

The race issue amplifies this, but it's ridiculous on any level.

@DIshedUp

A school rule wasn't deliberately broken. Ops DS has got a perfectly normal, smart haircut that tbh the majority of teenage boys have. Youd struggle to find a barber who won't cut a fade these days!

Op isn't insisting her DS goes into school with an extreme hairstyle, but she is thinking of challenging a rule that she's not happy with. Rules do not have to be blindly followed, if people disagree with a rule its perfectly okay to challenge that rule.

In this case its a stupid rule, and its absolutely fine to challenge it. Op has said this hairstyle helps her DS manage his hair type as he struggles to care for it if its longer, she and other posters feel the rule is discriminatory. She is quite sensibly thinking of contacting the school about this

Thank you so much for this post. I am not one to shout from the rooftop about things. As well as l don’t want to seethe about this and doing either.l always follow the rules, but obviously not this time, but it’s by mistake and not on purpose.

@dementedpixie

How short is it? I think its bonkers that some schools have draconian rules about hair. I'm not sure it affects their learning!

I agree.

I have boy and girl and frequently had calls from school about boy's hair length and general tidiness - more often than I would have thought necessary.

Funnily I never had similar calls about daughter's hair which was sometimes tied back and tidy and at other times looked wild (like her brother's).

This complete bullshit on the schools part. My sixth form DS in south London has a fade (as do most of his friends) and nothing has been said to him though I have just looked up the schools policy to check:

Hair styles (length and colour) must be appropriate for school. No hair art or shaven or partially shaven heads. Only one natural colour. Male pupils must be clean shaven.

I find these sorts of rules nonsensical. I understand the health and safety aspects of tying long hair back, but beyond that, it makes little sense.
If school are worried about gang affiliations (allegedly demonstrated through haircuts) the I appreciate that there may be concerns for the wellbeing of some pupils but this really doesn't help.
When it comes to black hair, schools need to be aware of the difference required in management (sorry, not well worded) because of the texture.

I'd be going back politely to the school and repeating that it was cut in accordance with their policy, and reiterate the issues around potential for discrimination because they have not considered anything other than "white" hair.

@HarebrightCedarmoon schools have actually gone backwards in their policies.

There is a thread about Pimlico Academy in this section with links to news articles around the uniform rules the leadership wanted to bring in. The school has always been diverse yet they brought in a head who didn't understand what it actually means in practice.