Urgent School say my Sons hair is too short!

[Dontjudgeme101]

My son told me last night, that the his hair is cut too short. The school have had, if it happens again, that he will have to go into isolation until it grows to a acceptable level. I need to contact school this morning to speak to them about it. It looks neat and tidy and it grows really quickly. His hair is mixed and he doesn’t look after it properly. Is there anything, that’ll can say to the school, or will l just have to accept that it’s too short?

Along time ago (well 20 years ) my son was told his "Afro " was too long , it was combed clean and tidy . Seems we just can't win with some people .

@Sturmundcalm
i'm not convinced this is a race issue - in fact I would reckon the minimum requirement for length is actually about preventing white pupils turning up as skinheads with all of the connotations of that...

What makes it a race issue is the fact they’re targeting the OP’s son with it even though the rule may not be made for his race or hair texture in mind. They’re using it as a way to penalize a child who has not done anything wrong at all and they’re ignoring the implications of it. They’re threatening him with isolation after a year of remote schooling and he may fall behind his peers if he hasn’t already.

And next time try not to come into a space specifically for Black women and immediately discount their experience with racism and prejudice. Try sitting and reading for better context first before letting your fingers do the talking without any context or framing of experience. Black people have been in this situation before many times and we recognize it immediately. Unfortunately we’re experts in dealing with the effects of racism in or day to day lives. Let the experts do the talking here.

Presumably your son’s previous haircuts have been acceptable to the school? If so, just make sure that next time he has his usual cut.

If I’ve misunderstood, and it’s actually impossible for your son to have a school regulation haircut due to the nature of his hair, then you must speak to the school as this is discrimination.

So its ok to put a child into isolation because his hair is too short!!!! I have pink hair, if they put me in isolation at work I'd sue them. That's real cruelty to a small child. Pathetic.

@Blindstupid

Firstly this Black Mumsnetters board was established to be a safe space for black women and allies to discuss issues of interest black women, from racism to African history, from black hair care to culture-specific issues in relationships.

You are posting in a way which indicates you are not black nor an ally.

Secondly there people of many ethnicities not just those who are white, whose black or dark brown hair goes a different colour in the sun.

Over the years I have spoken to a few people who are black, Pacific Islander, various Asian ethnicities, Arab, mixed ethnicity and Southern European about the crap they have got from people since childhood due to the fact all their hair goes red or blond in the sun.

I didn't believe people were still that ignorant until people asked myself and my DP if we had dyed our toddler's hair blonde last summer. Funnily all the people who asked were white.

@MrPickles73

I have googled fade and the photos look like the back and sides have been shaved in which case I would say yes this is not a good haircut for school.

I don't understand why it is not a good haircut for school

Mumsnet can make it so that this board doesn't pop up in Active if that was wanted. They've done it to other boards

How bizarre. I'm a teacher and I have worked in schools with quite strict uniform policy, including hair, but have never pulled anyone up on hair being too short. Only if it had patterns on it something - being too short is not something I've come across. I would try and speak to the headteacher- I generally support uniform rules but this is a bit ott.

@JingsMahBucket - apols, I had missed that it was in BM, had just looked through more of the OP's posts and seen her acknowledge that it was a fade which did seem more of a fashion issue. I absolutely accept that race could play a part.

this came up on active so people may not have seen that it is on a restricted board, I didn't.

still sounds bloody silly though. How does an inch or so here or there on hair really matter?

It's a silly rule and I would be cross too.

Sorry red but please don’t infer I’m racist - that’s how I’ve taken your ‘not an ally’ comment.

I didn’t realise this was posted in black mumsnetters until way through the thread. However, for me it’s not about race at all, the OP asked about how to deal with the school over her sons hair being too short... it’s the OP’s sons haircut - which she has said herself very early on, is too short and against the rules. I’m not really sure why it’s still being discussed when she actually knows her own problem and answer tbh.

I’m not sure of your reference to the changing of hair colour so I won’t respond to that. The thread is about an inappropriate hair length.

If he likes the fade look you can have what DHs hairdresser calls a semi fade, DHs is longer on top but fades to a number 2 not skin , he wouldn't be breaking the rules then.
DH works in a professional role where he regularly testifies in court or for parole boards/oral hearings etc which is why he doesn't go for a skin fade (i also don't like seeing his scalp through his hair, so I'm happier he has it that way, but I wouldn't tell him that...)

@Dontjudgeme101

Just looked at School Policy, it states no, extreme styles. Not allowed tram lines or shaving of the hair. It says short hair minimum grade 2. It’s there in print. So his hair is 1/2 inch too short. So l am in the wrong.

Clipper guard 2 is 6mm long.

I've also wandered in from the Active list but am baffled by the rationale behind such an arbitrary rule.

Apologies if I've missed this OP, I did read your posts, but out of interest is there also a rule about maximum hair length for boys? Does it say it has to be kept short?

potty ... No it’s not only for black people but there is little benefit to a white opinion on a black issue as you really can’t ever fully understand from our perspective

Black issue? The issue is a haircut that is too short - something the OP admitted herself early on. The OP has never said this was an issue about colour/race - only about hair being too short.

The hair rules always pissed me off, it's hair, how on earth does it effect someones education

It doesn't matter whether this is an appropriate haircut for school or not.

The race issue magnifies what is already a completely disproportionate response to a hair cut - isolating a child because of their hair?

Oh come on, in what world is that ok? This school is bonkers. Education comes before uniform and haircut dogma. Especially when they've missed months already because of covid.

If someone turns up with purple hair they can be sent home to dye it back to an "acceptable" colour. But you can't put someone in isolation until their hair grows out!!!

OP there is plenty of ammunition you can use on this.

He's not going to be isolated because of his hair is he?

A school policy has been broken (deliberately?)

And the isolation would be as a result of him doing this again.

But all schools have haircut rules. We sign up to that when we choose for our children to go to that school.

I agree the haircut rules are stupid and bear no relation to the ability to learn ... but it’s still a rule and that’s that. All of our life has rules. Do we all just abide by the ones we personally like and think are okay? Life doesn’t work that way.

Just to remember, the OP’s son is not being put in isolation for this - he’s been given a fair warning about future consequences. That’s what happens in our school also.

We all have workplace rules - we may not like them but we have to stick to them. It’s just the same.

The school seems to be making too much of an issue here. After so many weeks away from education it would be better just to get on with some learning.

FWIW my son is mixed race with afro-Caribbean hair. When he was in primary school I gave him a no.2 all over. School never complained - possibly as there were constant nit infestations.. It was very short, sometimes I used the no.1 which looked a bit harsh but within 3 or 4 days it had grown and looked okay.

I would certainly speak to the head about this one .

@Blindstupid

But all schools have haircut rules. We sign up to that when we choose for our children to go to that school.

I agree the haircut rules are stupid and bear no relation to the ability to learn ... but it’s still a rule and that’s that. All of our life has rules. Do we all just abide by the ones we personally like and think are okay? Life doesn’t work that way.

Just to remember, the OP’s son is not being put in isolation for this - he’s been given a fair warning about future consequences. That’s what happens in our school also.

We all have workplace rules - we may not like them but we have to stick to them. It’s just the same.

My school doesn't have a haircut rule so it's a bit of a sweeping statement to say all schools do

@picturesandpickles

This is disgusting. Can you get support from your MP or Councillor? I would be absolutely livid.

Schools are ridiculous.

In what way is it disgusting or ridiculous? I hope no one is wasting their MP's time on stupid complaints about school uniform rules.

The OP has quite clearly accepted that the haircut doesn't comply with the rules, she didn't realise and it's not a big deal and it will soon grow.

I've inadvertantly sent one of my children to school breaking the uniform code as I hadn't read it fully. I apologised and moved on like a normal person with the normal level of reaction to a routine issue.

I don't know if fades are allowed at my DCs school but I do know that hair must be a natural colour, if a child turned up with pink hair the parent would quite rightly get a similar warning.

I think your school is probably in the minority demented ... and good on it!

Not a sweeping statement though .... yours is literally the first school I’ve ever heard of that doesn’t have a haircut policy/rule. Pity it can’t contact other schools and make them see that it doesn’t make a difference to the children’s learning.

@Nodal

I don't understand the bullying/leftboutvthing though? Any boy can walk into a barber and get a skin fade for a tenner, it's not like girls with expensive hair extensions or dye jobs (all fine at schools of course)

There are a large number of boys in this country who simply do not have a tenner to spare. There is also a significant number of boys in this country whose hair is cut at home (due to cost) or by themselves/or left (due to neglect). There is a significant number of boys who cannot take themselves off to the barber and ask (due to location, language barriers, disability etc). Then theres the ones who can afford/can access but their parents are too draconian.

To assume that every boy can take a tenner to a local barber and ask for a cut is wildly arrogant.