Black men protesting BLM but exclusively dating white women

[LillyFlower1984]

I’m always confused about black men or men of colour in the media and RL who shout racism/BLM and so on yet when you look at their lifestyle they are married to white women. When you go on to find out more they only ever have dated/married white women.... what are people’s take on this?

Late to this but:

My main concern with black men is not dating white women. It’s if they disrespect black women. Many black men marry other races but defend and protect their sisters when they are abused or attacked.

What I have zero time for is black men who insult black women to all and sundry including their white partners and mixed race children. Use negative stereotypes and say “that’s why I don’t date Black women” etc. That is shameful but not uncommon sadly.

I have a relative who never knew how his constant praising of light skinned or white women, straight hair etc and rubbishing black women had effected his dark skinned sisters’ self esteem very badly.

@samosamo

You are clearly not a cheerleader for black women if you think you are better than most of them.

And I think that is impacting your thought process on this.

But I really can't be drawn on this, it's not worth my effort.

Fare ye well

Oh my god, then what's the point of this thread?

This is literally my point. You have zero interest in hearing any dissenting opinion. No matter how it is phrased or who it comes from. These conversations are always just poorly disguised rants and it's fine but it's the fake pretense at debate that drives me crazy.

Nowhere have I seen black women act "desperate" for black men or beg them to date them or insist on race loyalty. So can people stop trying to turn this into a conversation it isn't. It is not an attack on interracial relationships as many posters have painstakingly mentioned before posting or a cry for black men to date black women.

I see black women on social media acting desperate for black men all the time. I see them attacking black men who date white women when they've literally done nothing wrong. I understand if they've criticised black women but many men haven't and still get attacked.

Like Luke Cage and his wife. Or Lawrence from Insecure who has been DRAGGED and his wife called ugly and a man... because he dared to date her. He has never said anything negative about black women.

Seen it for years.

I see black women on social media acting desperate for black men all the time.

Horrendous comment.

I see black women on social media acting desperate for black men all the time.

Disgusting and pathetic, there are many women that act desperate for men and vice versa on social media regardless of their race. Silly person.

@hereyehearye probably adds to reason black women get dragged.

Why*

@hearye You may be black skinned, but you can't be black at heart to write such ill informed, racist views on this forum.Men act desperate, women act desperate. It has nothing to do with skin colour and you seem to have missed the whole point of this thread. If you truly believe this about your black sisters, you need therapy.

@Laylared well said

Great discussion everybody, I think some excellent points have been made by the OP and other black women on here.

I would just like to add another point as well that I don't think has been discussed at all yet, and that is the fact that black men are seen as the most desirable for white women over white men and so I think that creates a lot of problems within our community when the demand is so high.

I am black myself but have a lot of white female friends and every one of them tells me if they can get a black man they absolutely would which means essentially it is a battle between the entire white female population of the UK and the black population for what is essentially a comparatively small pool of black men.

It is really hard to get around but I don't know what else we can do other than teach our sons to look more kindly on other black females when choosing a partner.

There was a Nigerian poster who posted to say her experience was not anything like those that were being shared here. It's a shame she posted just before this thread was taken down because the conversation sort of lost momentum/direction after that point. I understood her points. I think my (born here but raised in Nigeria, and married to black men) in-laws felt disconnected to this whole debate until it started affecting/involving their own sons and daughters (who were born and raised here). It is a happy truth for some, some black women do not experience, or are not consciously exposed to, the issues we are discussing here.

Desirability is an issue re black men @KylieGreatorex. When I was in school (north london), yes, ALL my white friends were only into black guys. I found it all very weird then. However, nothing resembled that once I moved north and started making friends at uni.

Social media can get realllly ugly, from all sides. I follow some deliciously trashy pages (if you know, you know ) and Rick Ross's colourism has being highlighted today. The whole 'proximity to whiteness' appeal of a woman singer over an actually decent singer who happens to be a dark skinned black women. He was absolutely involved with BLM of course. But, we know rappers have form for this sort of thing, so it's no longer shocking.

I’m late to this thread but I notice that a lot more black / mixed race women date white men now than in the past .
When I was growing up in the 80s - 90s it was very common to see black men - white woman but not so much the other way around .
When I met my husband in 1999 we were frequently the only mixed race women / white men in our circle of friends and if we went out to clubs and gigs we were definitely the only ones .
I’ve had plenty of insults from black men because I was with a white men back in those days .
But I’ve noticed a definite change in the past 5 years or so that you see a lot more black / mixed race women with white men .
Not really sure why I’m mentioning this 😂 it’s just something that observed
Also and please don’t take this the wrong way
I’ve noticed that a lot of white women that have dated black men and have mixed race children seem to switch to white men when they get older - another of my observation of people that I know 😂

I’ve noticed that a lot of white women that have dated black men and have mixed race children seem to switch to white men when they get older - another of my observation of people that I know 😂

I agree it’s funny what we observed.

When someone is 3/4 black the mother is usually mixed race and the father is full black.

Poppyseeds2
Actually yes that something that I have noticed as well.
out of all of my black / mixed race girlfriends I’m the only one who is married
My husband is white and he has 4 sisters who are all married to black men

Maybe because black men who have dated white women have experienced racist attitudes from black and white people who are offended by it?

Unusualusernames
I don’t know honestly - I’ve been insulted by black men because my other half is white not so much now but definitely years ago when we first met

My friends who are black abd with white men have all commented at some time that the historical context has impacted their own feelings about it, namely white slaveholders forcibly assaulting black women.

Then, there is the issue of white men doing a lot of wrong in our world and oppressing others, as a member of an oppressed group this can seep into the relationship. White men have come a long way since 20,30,40, 100 years ago. Black women have seen that and accepted some into their lives. White men have always desired black women, it's that now black women are giving them a chance.

@KylieGreatorex I don’t think that is true or fair to say. I have never dated anybody white either.

From what I observe though I would say I can see why a black woman may want to date a white man. Black people are too closed minded at times it’s ridiculous we need to move with the times. Fine if a white man is not to your taste it’s not to mine either... however I wouldn’t refuse to go on a date with a white man though if the opportunity came my way. It’s a bit shallow.

There is a youtuber named Chrissieshe speaks out on all of these points made and more. I highly recommend her channel to dark skinned women.

youtube.com/c/ChrissiesWay

www.ddsmagazine.com/

It’s factual. I’m from a Caribbean background myself... did I touch a nerve? If you can’t stand the heat...

Your clearly delusional. It’s factual google it Caribbean’s have a lot of potential but we are under achieving and the Africans out is to show hands down.

Not so quick to big up your chest now are you