The PESH deli where we were so distracted we forgot to think of a new title

[FannyPriceless]

THE NOT-LIST

BESH BAYBEES
dontrythisathome, Bay Amaryllis born March 25.
Cheggers, twinz girlz, born April
FannyPriceless, boy, born June 8
CurlyCasper, girl, born June 24
CUNextTuesday, born June 29
Skihorse, boy, born 1 July

UPDIFFED
IggyPiggy, The one who loves BUMSEX, due July 20
Carrots, giving birth in a lavender field, damn it, due July 25 (boy)
Cosmosis, the one that likes a good ride, due August 22
backinthebox, she bought a racehorse, due September 6
skatergrrrl, the one that overtook the rest, September ??
VAG, lives in De Nile, due 19 September
silversky, the biggest farter, due 18 October (first baybee)
Honeymoo, 3 wees a night, due October 31 (boy)
okiecokie, self-confessed control freak, due November 6
SomethingSuitablyWitty, benelux babe, due November 14
ReginaMonologue, knows when all the sales are, due November 20 (boy)
maswera, jungle hottie - due November (???)
PollyPoo, wants to name her baybee after the dog, The New Messiah is due December 25

I've just staggered back in from the veggie garden, which I have neglested since plating lots of stuff then running away from it. Does anyone know what I can do with 30 giant courgettes? There seems to be only that and the potatoes which grew.

to make fritters.
Does anyone know what I can do with 30 giant courgettes? Um, I believe you can make a chocolate cake with courgettes that is very yummy. They are good grated into pasta with chilli and parmesan. Or grate and mix with flour, egg and feta then fry
gin I understand the paella fear now. Or notfear as the case may be. Do you think the M&S cook range counts as a ready meal? Because frankly that's about the extent of my cooking right now.

Veggie lasagne with tinned tomatoes mixed in?

That is possibly the most confused post I have ever written. I appear to have stuck half a sentence at the beginning that should be in the middle.

Start worrying when you put boiling water in your weetabix and keys in the fridge.

are you drinking enough water, Cosmos?

30 giant courgettes? Puree for cossie clearly! Or bumsex apparatus!

cossie raisins. That will get your guts moving! Plus fruit juice followed by coffee. Back in my coffee days that would be the trigger that would have me heading to the powder room.

Beans and peas tend to get things moving too. Last week we inadvertently had baked beans on toast for lunch and falafel with hummous for dinner. We were all very, ahem, active for days!I cannot imagine the hqavoc you could create if you had prunes for pudding and a bit of porridge for breakfast too.

DD was constipated when she was a baby and there's a recipe called 'The Dambuster' out there which consists of prunes, lentils, potato and a little bit of olive oil (lubricant?) all pureed together which does the trick for babies. Just one to store away for a future time .

Cossie is welcome to my courgettes btw . And I knew what you were trying to say Muser. We already had fritters for lunch, but I looked up courgette cake and found a recipe for one which has a lime curd filling. The whole recipe uses loads of courgettes and eggs - which is another thing I have too many of! Seem to be really struggling with tomatos, salad and peas though. Oh, and a complete lack of motivation to cook anything at all.

box Neighbours have been leaving courgettes on the doorstep this week. We have so far made courgette fritters (big hit with Bonnie), tempura courgette wedges, and stuffed fried courgette flowers. They would also go well in muffins I think.

We have stuffed marrow regularly Boxy - onions, sausage meat, herbs and tin of tomatoes, cook on hob, then fill the marrow halves, bake in oven til marrow soft. Pour white sauce over to serve, bloody lovely!

box Waitrose have a courgette and chilli tagliatelle recipe out at the mo that sounds yum!

There's a Jamie I've got a big tongue Oliver recipe for carbonara that has courgette in with the usual ingredients, tis lovely. Mr Gin cooks it (but then mr gin cooks everything...)

Come and keep me company/tell me I'm being unreasonable?

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/1010941-to-think-that-the-NICE-guidelines-on-obesity-an d-pregnancy

drom I turned on the telly earlier and rolled my eyes at this report - honestly, every single fucking twatting day. "Satan on a unicycle" - I wanted to be 9 stone when I was 16 - even 20 years later I still prickle at being told how unhealthy I am. Next it'll be "smack is bad for the baybee" and then where the cocking hell will I get my fun.

Didn't help that the big-headed, barbie-bodied, mum-of-4 Sian Williams (?) was earnestly agreeing with said advice - although give her her dues, she did say she was massive when pregnant (waist = 32" at full-term).

Ta for all the courgette and marrow recipes everyone! I actually have a massive bag of sausage meat in the freezer that I didn't really know what to do with either, and I have got onions, tomatoes and herbs growing in the garden - stuffed marrows for tea then! And I don't even need to go to shops! Which is a good thing, as the car is having it's MOT.

Moo your comment on keys in fridge malarkey made me remember how much I lost my marbles last time. I was responsible for my own appointments at work (had a fab job scaring my colleagues to death. Official job title was 'Their Worst Nightmare!' And those of you who know what I do will appreciate that that can be a very bad nightmare indeed.) I actually got 7am and 7pm mixed up, and turned up for work at 7am, having driven for over an hour to get there. I decided to go back home rather than hang around for 12 hours, and was nearly crying with rage at myself and my mixed up brain on the way home. Suffice to say I was particularly nighmare-ish that evening . This time I don't seem to be quite so bad. Or it could be that I never really got my marbles back after last time so there has been less to lose this time round

I think one of my thighs might be 32" atm, and I didn't consider myself overweight before I got into all of this!

I am also a bit about the pre-eclampsia risk associated with obesity. OK, my weight may have caused my pre-eclampsia - unfortunately it seems we'll never know the true answer to that - but what I have learned is that pre-eclampsia is also thought to be associated with my immune system rejecting Bear - this would also tie in with chemicals... Now, what has my immune system got to do with my weight? Or does that open a whole new can of worms? (which I'll probably eat, deep-fried in lard and with a Mars bar chaser because I am a piggy).

My mum had gestational diabetes with my sister... she was a "massive" 11 stone 3 weeks overdue and my sister was 11 lbs. So basically minus baby + fluids etc. she was a "massive" 8.5 stone (?) - at 5'6" - so obviously a real fucking heffalump.

Patronising cunts.

See, that's the thing. It's one thing encouraging people to eat sensibly and healthily, but the women-blaming rhetoric that starts with all of this is what gets my goat.

Apparently, though, no one else agrees with me Apart from here. Which is why I never venture outside the ESH.

FFS my waist was 32" before I got pregnant so what hope have I got?

Ski my sis had pre-eclampsia was not deemed overweight. I think the truth is they don't know and so instead 'err on side of caution' which fucks me off as it is so patronising. Gah.

drom that's because outside -ESH you'll encounter a bunch of drip-fed twats who actually LOVE having a list of fucking rules dished out by "those in the know" to live by.

Having to apply their own fucking brains and judgement to any given situation would result in mass rending of cloth and pulling of hair and a bycott of M&S microwave meals.

Cunts. "oooh I think my microwave meal had wine in it have I killed my baybeeeeee?" - stupid cunt. Eating fucking microwave meals rather than "real food" and then getting het up about imaginary ingredients. Fucking idiots.

Spoon-fed, brain-dead, self-congratulating muppets. What's worse is that the -ESH offspring will have to share classrooms with the children born to these eejits!

polly/drom Was only joking about 32" waist - but as Sian looks like she'd weigh 5 stone wet I wouldn't put it past her. Her head is about 4 times the size of her torso. Polly interesting to hear about your sister.

"Infant mortality linked to wimmins!" , "Pregnancy a direct result of wimmins!"

My cousin is about the size of a Pontypine (not got round to watching CBeebies yet? ) and she had an CS at 7 months due to pre-eclampsia. She was pregnant with twins too, which kind of complicated it a bit. But definitely pre-eclampsia thrown into the mix.

Ski I am liking your slagging of microwave meals . Makes me feel lots better for being a slob, not going to the shops and just eating whatever I can scavenge from the garden and freezer. Luckily it's summer and stuff is growing, or it would be dry twig and ice cream salad.

drom you are not alone at having your heckles raised when you read this report - I was casually laying in bed reading the bbc news and stumbled (well, not quite right, because according to the BBC iPhone app, this was breaking news and hard was not hard to miss) on this news item and it has put me in a bad mood for the rest of the fecking day.

For me, my whole pregnancy thus far has been a perfect excuse for the health nazi's to get on my case. So far, I've been high risk for and therefore subjected to numerous tests relating to:-

1. Infertility (proved wrong after getting up the duff after 1 week of trying despite the statistics saying I had less than a 1% chance and lots of "tuts" and "hmmms").

1. Having a 1:10 chance of a downs syndrome or chromosomally defective baby (proved wrong, my blood is just screwy)

1. Having pre-eclampsia (proved wrong to date)

1. Having gestational diabetes (also proved wrong thus far).

Now I'm being told I'm either going to end up with a c-section or a still born baby because of my weight, if you believe what the professionals say, and to be honest I'm sick of it.

It seems to me no matter what way I turn, someone wants to piss me off about being fat and pregnant a likening what has for me been a life long battle with my weight to the factor that will end my motherhood chances before they have even happened.

If I was sat here, guzzling wine, self-injecting, stuffing candy floss and popcorn in my mouth and smoking a cigar all at the same time, yes they may have some reason to assume I was damaging myself and the baby, but I'm not. I'm just trying to get on with what is suppose to be happy time of my life without letting officious bastards with nothing better than interfering to do get to me.

Why don't they pick on people their own size for once and think about, just for a moment, these guidelines they are coming up with and the long term affects they have on people and the population (was it them I wonder who came up with these wonderful food / hygiene guidelines that we're suppose to follow that have probably led to the increased rates of allergies et al... possibly so). Tw@ts.

Grrr! I'm so angry!

cam I have weighed in with some emotional hormonal lovin'... for what it's worth.