The PESH deli for those who are realising there are real live baybees at the end of this.

[rots]

BESH BAYBEES
dontrythisathome, Bay Amaryllis born March 25.
Cheggers, twinz girlz, born April
FannyPriceless, boy, born June 8

UPDIFFED
CUNextTuesday, takes no shit from the Daily Mail, due June 28
IggyPiggy, The one who loves BUMSEX, due July 20
CurlyCasper, hospital botherer due July 21 (girl)
Skihorse, cradle snatching web geek, due July 22 (boy)
Carrots, organic hippy hunter, due July 25 (boy)
Cosmosis, the one that likes a good ride, due August 22
backinthebox, she bought a racehorse, due September 6
skatergrrrl, the one that overtook the rest, September ??
VAG, lives in De Nile, due 19 September
silversky, the biggest farter, due 21 October (first baybee)
Honeymoo, no it's not fucking indigestion, due November 2 (boy)
okiecokie, self-confessed control freak, due November 6
SomethingSuitablyWitty, benelux babe, due November 14
ReginaMonologue, big pants, 5* hotels, Bridget Jones due November 20
maswera, jungle hottie - due November (???)
PollyPoo, wants to name her baybee after the dog, The New Messiah is due December 25

BTW I'm VV upset to report that a snail has been eating my carrots

When I say "a snail", I think it's just the one as the raised bed is nicely away from the garden, in the ruins, on concrete, and therefore tough for them to get to, and I found one snail hidden in the corner of the bed and lots of snail trails over that side of the bed. Said snail has had a short course in flying and is now relocated in next door's garden (no, we don't like them much).

It doesn't seem to have got to everything else so we still have beetroot, sweetcorn, beans and peas, onions and so on but of all things - the carrots!

I too was hoping for an update, but I guess cas has other things on her mind . Hope all is well though, still thinking of you.........

Is there curly news yet???? I'm going to be offline from 1 pm to day till 12noon tomorrow - will only have email or text. Please please please someone email or text me!!!!

I want new too! Though I am inferring that lack of news means she's well into the throes of it and that therefore we'll hear soon enough - so exciting!

Rots I am so sorry for your loss. Snails fly in these parts too - probably quite harsh given most of the surrounding area is paved.... Did you see Hugh Fearlessly Eatsitall skewering slugs? He took great delight (but failed to eat).

Mai teis look ace - trying get the balance between buying things I'll never use and not using things cos I haven't bought them....iyswim.

My lovely parents bought me a changing bag while on holiday in the US - it is gorgeous. Sadly has short handles that won't go over a pram handle though. I suppose I can stuff it underneath. Bless them, they are so excited. I asked them to get a particular brand while out there, then changed my mind and asked them not to, but they went and found one anyway (not brand I'd decided against). Really kind, but they are nutters and I just have to be careful what I say near them in future, it isn't like they have much disposable income to chuck about. Mum's already planning on getting clothes for Clint to keep at hers - not sure of the logic behind this as he'll grow so fast surely they'll be useless, and I'll be bringing sufficient with me when I visit anyway. Is this normal Granny behaviour? (Is not her first GC either, though my sis seemed to rely on her having extras of stuff, but they live closer so see each other more).

Am rambling now. Suppose I ought to show willing and at least get some work out to put on my desk while I continually update this page today....

Clint tried to burrow into my lungs last night - he seems v high up these days. Nutcase.

Hey all! Just quickly checking in for news of curls! So exciting! Sending besh/pesh vibes your way!

we had sling trying on at our NCT this week, I decided to go for the Kari-me www.littlepossums.co.uk/slings/wrap-slings.htm#karime

(plug for little possums as is run by my friend).

VAG pops and WSM have no clothes for WSM's grandchildren, but gazillions of toys, cot, highchair etc.

How boring of Cas to not at least be keeping someone informed, even by text! My bff texted me with every single contraction. Tbh I was rather amazed at her ability to do that as I was not in a fit state to do anything, but it tunrs out epidurals free up your ability to text. So I think we can assume Cas hasn't had an epi.

Cheggers, if you go down the meitai route with twins you put one on your front and one on your back - seems impossible the idea that you would ever get a little baybee on you back, but with a bit of practice it does work. I do love my Babyhawks! But I feel I may need to buy me a really fancy one this time, if I can even get on the waiting list!

Rots I've just bought 2 pouches - a Slingling and a fleece pouch. I found the ring sling I had last time a faff, so hoping I can just chuck one of these on and go until da baybee is big enough to go in a meitai. OH has bought me a beautiful leather satchel as a changing bag and I just bought a little neoprene roll-up changing mat to go in it. With DD we didn't have a dedicated changing bag, and after a while we found we were using a Waitrose wine bag - which possibly gave the wrong idea about us! (Or maybe the right idea, who knows?)

Cos I had a Moby with DD - quite like a Kari-me. I liked it and found it really comfy, but DD was an awkward baby who didn't get on with it. I think I should have put her in it sooner, but I didn't start trying till about 8 weeks old as my CS scar was in the way and I felt a bit steam-rollered earlier on. If you can get the hang of a Kari-me you have a whole world of gorgeous stripey wraps opened up to you! (You can never have just one, you know ) Your possum friend should sort you out.

Back to Rots again - stuff is eating my veggie stuff faster than I can plant it this year. I have given up, so it looks like just potatoes and courgettes in the Box household this year!

Morning everyone! I too am checking of curly update - Hope you are doing well m'lover!

Nothing nearly as exciting to report from this side of the world as I am still inundated with work meaning no sneaky afternoons off to do shopping here and there. It was 26 degrees in our bedroom last night at 10PM - thankfully the aircon unit we had donated to us some years ago is still a feisty beast and cooled the room down quickly otherwise it'd have been a very uncomfortable night.

Dog is getting a crew cut today - the number 3 he is donning at the moment isn't cutting the mustard in keeping him cool and with the temps to go into the 30s at the weekend I can only imagine a number 1 will do the trick. Last time I balded him I got disowned for about a a fortnight, so expecting an equally disgruntled reaction this time.

Hope all you fine frequenters of the deli are doing marvellously!

cheggs Your twinz sound wonderfully chilled - dare I suggest that your friend is "high maintenance"? Obviously I'm coming at this with all the expertise of a woman who hasn't even held a baybee in 15 years... but I do know that with the offspring of my colleagues, the chilled kids belong to the chilled parents - the screaming ones to the "neurotic" ones. I realise that by typing that I've just opened myself up to the wrath of G-d and will duly be punished by screaming from now until 2018.

rots/silver/boxer You're all right of course - I am doing them a favour with free rides. I just wondered if I was being anally retentive when I feel my hackles rise when I see a cheek strap out of it's loop. I think we're going to have a "tack" lesson this weekend - including CLEANING!

curly I am so excited for you and wel done - can't wait to get all the details!

boxer I love the babyhawk.

cossie Can you give a quick run down on all the slings/carriers you've experimented with? I will def keep you up to date by text, fear not!

When I got home last night jailbait had picked up the maxi-cosi - it's so diddy and light and oh my god it's for my baybee. I was also a little apprehensive that it wouldn't fit in our 2nd hand quinny but it popped straight in which is a huge relief. rots My final purchase is re-usables... if I put my order in today will you drop me a line to let me know P&P - and if P&P is going to be 50 quid he can shit in a bucket innit.

How is everyone feeling physically? Since Julian's been engaged my sciatica and general "pain" has all gone - when he was breech I was in agony. Feeling pretty good right now truth be told, if not a little hawt.

Dog talk: honeymoo All the best to little moo today, he should be fine in a few days. When I had my boy dog done I took the stitches out after a week - never in my life have I encountered quite such a pungent smell on my fingers! reggie With regards to trimming, I think our jackapoo could use something - do you just use normal hair clippers? How do you hold him down?

OK, so I checked back to what caspy told us last night. At 9 pm she was told to expect mini-casp in 12-14 hours. If correct that means the baby-lay would occur between 9am - 11am this morning. i.e. she is probably mooing like a cow right now.

Push, push, my girl!

Ski - but who is making who stressed or chilled?

VAG OK, well you've got chegger there for example who doesn't get stressed, feeds the baybees and her husband lets them fall asleep on her chest. She admits that when she's not working to a schedule she's very relaxed. Then we've got Vivian (for that is her name), the wife of a colleague, who looks a bit like a WAG and is a "high maintenance" type woman, both physically and emotionally - demands that my colleague does X, Y and Z. Lots of emotional blackmail "if you really loved me you'd shave your arse with my name on it", "if you really loved me you wouldn't go to football practice" - both kids have screamed non-stop since birth. Vivian gets up in the night and cries... then wakes up my colleague... NOT a happy household.

Ski pray you don't get one with colic

FWIW with DD I was a co-sleeping, breast-feeding, sling-wearing, baby-led-weaning, very chilled kind of person, who had a baby born by extremely traumatic CS. She had colic - screamed the place down day and night for about 11 weeks and then just stopped one day. I've had comments about what a happy and relaxed child she is ever since. One thing I wish I'd known about sooner is baby cranial osteopathy. I still see the same osteo now once a month, and she is rready and waiting to see this baby from the first week. I didn't get to her until DD was about 6 weeks old, but she worked soothing miracles on DD.

Yes boxer, but as angelic as she looks she has a streak of satan inside her. This is the girl in pink with the ringlets who DEMANDS red rosettes and poos in your pool! She is fucking with your head - just wait until she's 12 - she will RULE all of Berkshire!

(I haz already cupboard full of Calpol and Calpol-like medicines as recommended to me by local PESH.)

Hmmm ski... I would be a leettle bit careful about linking parental outlook to baby behaviour. While I would be the first to say that a chilled, happy, caring, loving parent is going to have positive results, the truth is there are just some babies where there is no explanation for the difficult patches. You could send yourself nuts thinking 'it must be something I'm doing wrong', when there is actually nothing you could do. I have heard some horror stories about colicky babies, where the parents have done well to survive with any shred of sanity intact at all.
(Disclaimer: this won't happen to anyone on this thread.)

Purchasing recommendations: Last night with the heat I was very thankful for these brilliant muslin swaddles. Was still able to swaddle the boy without him getting hot. Everyone having a summer baby, get someone to buy you some.

Other nights we have been using this merino swaddle wrap which is worth its weight in gold. Light, breathable, soft and just the right amount of stretch.

And everyone buying a Maxi Cosi on discount this week - seriously consider buying an Easy base for it too. SOOO much easier to get the seat in and out of the car (and much cheaper than the Isofix base with no disadvantages as far as I can see).

Thank you, I'll take my sales commission later!

Oooh Boxy I second the cranial osteopathy - fucking amazing on baybees! Boo had trouble feeding and after the first few weeks when she was an angel, she turned into a screaming stressy pink-faced little monster. I also turned into a screaming crying mess - I rang the cry-sis helpline one day as was so desperate. No fucker answered! My poor mum came to stay for a few days whilst TG was away on a course and she was so worried she sent me to see cranial osteo and within 3 visits we'd got Boo feeding properly again and she returned to being a placid happy little angel. I too have had lots of comments on how good/perfect/well behaved/happy she is and how we must be doing something right. I don't know if it is nature or nuture, or a combination of both. TG and I are both v lazy relaxed.... We will see what the next one is like! I would of course love another 'angel' baybee, if only to prove a lot of people wrong i.e. the ones who say, 'Ha, you are so going to get a little shit next time as you have been too lucky first time round'. Cunts.

Anyway, enough of moi. Cranial osteo is the business.

And where is Curly?!

ski poodle cuts - yes, I do ours because he has to be done every month and it'd cost a bomb if I took him to the groomers!. I use these dog clippers to do him and always make sure he gets a bath before I start as to not dull the clipper blades. After he's dried from the bath he then gets a good brush to remove the loose fur and then I stick him on the kitchen counter top and let him stand or sit whichever suits him. He's not one for rolling onto his back unless it's under his own terms and conditions so usually I end up picking up one leg at a time and just zipping the clippers along his belly that way (not easy when he is only about 15cm off the ground!). I don't bother with guides as I find them difficult to use with his thick fur, so I've got a number 10 blade and a number 5 skip tooth blade - made out of the stuff that doesn't heat up too quickly and the clippers are wired, not rechargeable as I don't find the rechargeable ones keep their umph for long enough. If you have horse clippers they should do the job though?

What is cranial osteo oh wise ones?

reggie Good tips thank you! I have man clippers, horse clippers & "bikini" clippers - one of the three should do the job! It's 50-fckin euros a pop here for a dog trim. Poppy is a bastard of a wriggler though - still, it'll give me a challenge for ML!

fp thanks for easy base tip!!

SALE Continues at Pumpkin Patch !!!!

Ski a clever lady massages baybees head, pressing certain points that relate to rest of body and it makes baybee go all floppy and happy and stop crying. From feeling Boo's head and body/arms/legs she could tell that her pelvis was out of alignment following the birth. And then corrected by pressing very gently a spot on her head. Or summat like that... it was nearly 3 yrs ago and I have slept since then. God knows how it works, but it made an amazing difference to Boo.

Cranial osteo does, er, stuff that feels really nice to you. Sometimes they yank your bones all over the place until they go crunch and sometimes they just lay their hands on you till you feel mellow. It's voodoo shit, but it works! I first went when I got a crick in my neck after my friend recommended it, and have been going ever since. I did not know they did baby stuff too though, till DD had colic. BTW ALL babies fuck with their parent's heads - tis their job.

Also Ski I found this for you. Enjoy

PUSH CASPY PUSH!

Boxy I am planning on a sling, reports are they are ideal when baby is very small, lots of close contacts and hands free! I was planning to get a Baby Bjorn as they seem to be ubiquitous in this trendy pocket of London but am open to all recommendations!

How is dog today honeymoo? Does he sense what he is in for?

Sorry about your evil snails NotRots, my beautiful cucumber got munched this morning, I am going on a revenge killing spree with a brick tonight! How do the buggers get into raised beds and the greenhouse? Our greenhouse has a small window that opens automatically when it gets to a certain temperature, are commando type snails parachuting in through the roof?

VAG I just got a changing bag too, went with a messenger style that can be worn handsfree and that SkaterBoy will happily carry as well. I did go for a "proper" changing bag but believe any roomy bag will do with a matt inside.

Fanny I haz a merino swaddle for SkateJunior - there are YouTube videos showing you how to swaddle correctly. Must practice on a teddy bear. Or the more obedient of our 2 cats.