The Wagon Round 2: wonder how many will fall off this time?

[GiraffeYoga]

New Threaad Wagoners!

Morning All. As usual, getting some time to lurk, but not much to post. Sorry for anything I miss.

Giraffe and Ses - sorry for tough times with DHs. Is pants. I do think that some of it is the huge adjustment you go through in the first couple of years of having 1st DC, where you adapt to just being the 2 of you (where, if our relationship is anything to go by, you can to some extent continue to run your own lives - not having to consider the other half in every decision around whether you go to gym, go out for a drink after work, etc) to having to consider DC in the equation. Also, the changes to sleep, not getting to lie in on weekends, having to negotiate to get some time out. I think it all plays a part. Also, I think it's easy to forget that men (generalising greatly here) don't talk as much as women. DH and I had a big bust up the other week (mostly my fault, just so frustrated with DD's sleeping (or not) habits) - he just sat in silence in the other room and then went out for a walk (during which I'm not sure he didn't phone his Mum or someone else to vent ). So I do really sympathise, but I know that things did improve once DS was over 2 and he could communicate much better with us and really it was the change from having an entirely dependent little one to this little person. Not saying they aren't wonderful when they're under 2, but it does make a difference once they can really communicate in words. Anyway, by no means have all the answers, but can only provide some of my perspective on it. Doesn't help when you're in the middle of a funk because one or other of you is being stressy and believe me, I am a queen of stressing out over minor things . I think it is also easiest to take frustrations out on those closest to you, who you think will be most likely to forgive you?! (You being your DHs?)

MMM - sorry work is so pants, think Giraffe's suggestion is a good one. Is rubbish to be taken for granted like that.

Diege - I have a 1-3yr old monster costume in green and purple I could post to you to borrow if you like, just need it back for halloween, so you could bring it to London meet? Although, I personally think Giraffe's suggestion of burglar outfit is FAB! You could use a snagged pair of tights cut up to make a hat too! I think if you can think of something simple, homemade is easiest - I made DS a Thomas the Tank Engine outfit out of old boxes, brown paper, paint and string for his Book Day last autumn, which cost nothing and he still loves even though the paint is all flaking off! (Not suitable for an under 3 though)

Right, must on with work.

Ses - reserving the right to come back on and garner your expertise on sleep, seeing how well O is doing. DD did best night for several weeks last night though - was asleep by 7.15pm and only woke once in night for milk between then and 6.30am - woohoo!! Bet she's sickening for something

Hi Star

Monster costume sounds great! Whatever you choose Diege, we need to see the photos

Star- thanks for taking time to post. I think you are entirely right about adjustment. Think our issue is more about DH adjusting to sharing the attention I have to give - sounds awful and its not as simplistic as that but similar. Made worse by the working full time thing as I just want to priorise the SG at the w/e to make up for my never ending guilt....

Sorry about sleeping row, I dont know how you've sustained it for so long and remained sane!

Hi everyone else

Hello,

Can't stop, am just testing my new phone, MN works better than FB! Am more impressed now than I was. Will catch up properly in a bit xxx

afternoon

nj - exciting
what phone have u got?
my phone runs out in a mnth still cant decide

hi diege

Hi!

Star - improved sleep could just be a fluke but his molars (4!) are now just about through so that probably helps and also I've started giving him a snack and some water/cows milk when we get back from nursery before bath time. I'm sure it's just a phase though

Nat - phone sounds good!

DHs - Star, thanks for your perspective on this. I'm sure it is just the adjustment for both of us and it will eventually resolve but I wish it would hurry up and sort itself out!
Giraffe, I typed out a FB message to send you but suddenly realised it was a bit me, me, me so deleted it
All my issues seem really small and petty. Whenever I complain to DH he thinks I'm saying he's not a good Dad. Nothing could be further from the truth (and I've tried to tell him that!) but I don't think we're being a good husband and wife at the moment. When he leaves for work or comes home from work he makes such a fuss of O and sometimes doesn't even say hello or goodbye to me.
He also doesn't seem to appreciate the fact that I'm doing a full time job in 4 days and 99.99% of the nursery run. He has said something to the effect of "Well, you're the mum" and he feels he has enough pressure by fulfilling his role as a provider at work. I'd like to know what he thinks I'm doing for my 4 days!!
Anyway, I'll leave it there before I get myself worked up again. Except to say that I do think we are both trying to work on all this at the moment and I really hope things improve.
Hope things improve for you too Giraffe.

Hello tink, MMM, Cant, Gruff and a shout out to Kay, Playing, Rugby, Bumps, Moosy and anyone else lurking!

Morning all,

I'm going to apologise in advance for not posting for ages then just having a moan but I really need a whinge this morning. I'm just feeling .

We still haven't exchanged on the new house. It was all set up to go then the vendors started delaying things and messing us about. We've now found out they have pulled out of the house they were buying but the person who told us shouldn't have so we can't ask them about it. I think we are going to lose our lovely new house and .

Today is DDs second settling in session at the nursery -I took her for an hour on Monday and she enjoyed it but today I leave her for a couple of hours and she has lunch. I'm finding it much harder than I thought and . She still seems too little to be in nursery for 4 days - deep down I know it's silly and she'll be fine but I can't help feeling upset.

While I'm having a grump I might as well add that I'm sick of being overweight but can't seem to find the energy to do anything about it.

Right, deep breath, I feel better for getting that off my chest. Sorry for the moan , I'm off to grab a cup of tea and read through the rest of the thread and I'll be back in a bit.

morning

hi rugby sorry you are feeling low pain about house!!

having a quiet day here

Hi Rugby - sorry you're feeling so down and so awful about the house
It will get easier with DD and nursery, once you see her enjoying seeing her friends each day.
Empathies on the weight thing too.
Sorry can't add anything constructive, but don't apologise about venting on here - that's what the Wagon's for!

Cheers Tink and Star,

I feel much better just getting it off my chest. I know I'll be fine once she settles in to nursery and I get sorted back at work. I'm just having a 'fed up' day.

Ses - I'm glad O is sleeping a bit better and fingers crossed it lasts . Sorry that you are having a hard time talking to DH, it's tough finding time to have a relationship (and I'm not trying to fit work in yet) but you just need to keep talking. I hope it sorts itself out soon.

NJ - yah for new phone!

GYo - did you start a thread in relationships? The sulks are awful - DP doesn't do the silent treatment but he just ignores the fact I am upset/angry and acts as if everything is fine. It is so and when you are in the middle of it I know it feels like he doesn't care about your feelings. I hope things are better today and you manage to talk things over. BTW we have this for the pram. It works well as a shade and she can still see out. As the buggy faces me I can just hold the shade down to make it darker for her to sleep but not sure how it would work when the LO faces away.

Star - glad you are getting some sleep!

Diege - what did you decide about costumes?

Gruff - very on your behalf over GP, hope you are feeling better today.

Ooh, liking that shade for the buggy - insurance money should come through next week for our buggy that was stolen from outside nursery, so might have to make that stretch to cover one of these too! Although we did have and will get again a McLaren Techno XT, which has an extendable hood that nearly covers wholle buggy (Am a huge fan of this buggy - we took it to Oz with us for DS and was great for naps while we were out and about).

rubgy - that shade is good

star - oh no 2 buggy being stolen people do such horrid things!!!

think i am definetly getting a blackberry curve in violet have read great reviews and have found a good deal on it for a mnthly contract

Morning

Quick post from me.

Rugby - so you are feeling low. The house thing is a HUGE pain and very stressful. Hope you can get to the bottom of it. Surely if you know the facts about someone pulling out its best to just get it out in the open?
Star is right about nursery, it does gets better and easier and this is worst bit.
You have a huge a amount to cope with all at once just now, so please come here and vent. There is always room on the wagon sofa.

Thanks for link to the shade I will look into that one. I neeed to get mine ordered!

Not started a thread yet. I need to do it... guess Im slightly scared at the advice being black and white rather than constructive.

Ses- 4 molars!! poor O (and poor you!). Please dont feel the need to delete a post you think is about you... I think relating to each others experience via our own is really helpful. Feel free to re-write. I see lots of parallels sometimes :-)

Does seems a bit unfair that you dont get support on the nursery run and the comment about feeling the pressure of providing seems very very unfair. Its not like you are sitting about all day! Oh, and I really related to your previous post when you mentioned that you are default childcare at the w/e.... its very annoying!

Anyway- FB message me if you fancy, even to get off your chest.

Tink- great phone choice!

Hi everyone else.

Better run, I've got Friday and Monday off work (HURRRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY and we've also got an event at the nursery thsi afternoon so lots of work, very little time.

xxx

morning all, im really tired, but got to be up to get a light fitted outside my door, so got to stay in this morning, not sure what im doing this afternoon, but think i might take max to a messy play group

hope everyone is well, not read through just thought id post to let you know i am here.

Morning all,

Thanks Gyo - the house thing is very stressful and I am very with the vendors. They really pushed us to exchange 2 weeks ago then pulled out the day before - they originally said they would rent somewhere if their purchase didn't go through in time but then changed their minds. Our solicitor contacted their solicitor yesterday to try to arrange a new date and we got a very rude e-mail back saying their purchase had fallen through (so at least that's out in the open) and they have just had an offer accepted on a new house but they won't exchange until that is sorted so they can't give us any time frame and we just have to wait . Apart from being really annoying we had to arrange home insurance and life cover before we could exchange so we are already paying those and don't even own the bloody house and the solicitor now has all our savings. We decided to tell them that if they don't exchange and set a completion date by next Friday we are withdrawing our offer so now we are just waiting for their reply. I will be gutted if we lose the house but we need to know where we stand. This place is tiny and DD keeps rolling under the sofa or into the bookcase or fireplace, it will be a nightmare when she starts crawling. If we don't get this house at least we can look for somewhere bigger to rent.

Sorry - another rant . I just don't have the patience for all this mucking about.

On the bright side C did very well at nursery yesterday - there were no tears when I left and they said she was very laid back and happy while I was away. Some of the kids were ill so there was just 1 other boy there for the morning. The girls said that they were having a shouting contest (with lots of giggling) and DD won - she is a very noisy little girl . She ate her lunch and was very happy when I picked her up, in fact I think she wanted to stay. She was shattered when we got home though and had to have an early nap so I hope she manages to sleep there or the poor girl will be exhausted . She has 1 more settling in session next week but I'm sure she is going to be fine - I'm not so sure about myself .

Oops - so busy venting I forgot to say hi to anyone .

Morning MMM, I hope you aren't stuck in waiting all morning.

Gyo - good luck getting through everything today and have a lovely long weekend.

Morning! Sorry for going awol for a day or two, but have been totoally snowed under at work and haven't even had time to turn the computer on in the evening
Thank you so much for the offer of the costume STAR, and for the other suggestions. I think I may well be able to put together a burglar's outfit (thanks GIRAFFE!) with the bits I have already though, but many thanks STAR for offering, that's very kind of you. I will def post a picture of J in his get up on my profile
SES, I agree that your set up does seem really unfair. I have been thinking about your situation from time to time over the last day or so, and I find myself getting really cross with your dh which is odd I know . That thing about being 'the mum' really got to me as it sounds so dated, esp as you are also (if we're going to use stereotypes) being 'dad' by 'providing' too. Sorry, I know it has nothing to do with me at all, and really hope you can knock some sense-- into him get to a situation where he can see how misguided and unfair his comments are xx
GYO, hoping you can resolve the situation too - I'd not worry too much about types of responses if you started a thread; I think you may well get the odd nutter, but on the whole I think most responses will try and look at the situation in a wider context and may well be very helpful.
RUGBY, you poor thing with the house business As you may remember, we went through something very similar last year, which thankfully resolved itself, despite the odds being heavily against it working out. Wishing you the best of luck x
Hi to everyone else. MMM, CANT, GRUFF, NAT, TINKS and everyone else I may have inadvertently missed. Back later!

x-posts RUGBY; just to say I think that you are doing absolutely the right thing with setting a deadline for completion. We did the same and it worked - you'd be surprised how people change when the possibility of losing a deal is on the cards.

morning

hi diege - gr8 2 have you bag you busy bee

hi rigby - hope that the house buisness sorts out!!

well i have narrowed it down to 2 mobile phones

will either get blackberry curve or nokia 6700 slide

went to an indoor soft play centre she luved it

still set on getting dd1 a wooden activity cube for bday looking @ east coast one[hmmk]

well my security light is now fitted, was very with the people who did it though, as they needed to get in my little cupboard with the boiler in, so i had to have the front door open for them to come in and out, when they had finished they just packed up and left, leaving my front door wide open. good job when M goes out of the front room i tend to follow.

having a day in i think now, just in a lazy mood. haha. managed to over heat my hoover yet again, really do need a new one. its doing it everytime i hoover up.

RUGBY glad you have set a deadline for being aware of whats happening, and glad C i settling in nursery ok.

DIEGE you do seem very busy, hope you get some you time soon.

ASO hope you decide for final on a phone by the time you need to. both look good. glad DD had a good time at the soft play centre.

DS finally woke up after me going in his room shouting him around 5 times, then ;icking him up at 10. lazy boy. hes nw playing on his bounce and spin zebra. he loves it nw he cn actually reach the floor and bounce

Hi MMM, that sounds about right from my experience of people who come round to fix things . How annoying . Your hoover sound a pain too, sounds like motor has gone in my limited experience.
Hi TINKS! I have no knwoeldge whatsoever of mobile phones I'm afraid (mine was £38 off the shelf at Asda )
Feeling very bleugh. Have had very little sleep these past 3 nights, with ds crying on and off all night - not sure why, no obvious reason . Combined with 6.30 starts for work it has been a killer though and am feeling quite ill. Must try to get an early one tonight!

Hey all,

Diege - poor you . I hope DS has a better night tonight.

Tink - no help here either sorry. I have a cheap mobile from woolworths - I have a history of losing or breaking phones so I never buy anything decent.

MMM - how annoying !

Well we heard back from our solicitor and the vendors have laid it on a bit thick about how difficult it will be for them to find somewhere to rent if their sale doesn't go through quickly enough (almost implied we are throwing them out on the streets) but ultimately they will exchange next week if we insist. We are def going to insist on exchanging next week so we at least know we have the house but we have said that we can set a completion date at the end of August with the option to complete earlier if they are ready. I think that's fair - they don't have kids and he has just sold his business and isn't working so it would be a hassle for them to rent but surely manageable. It's great they are going to exchange but after them pulling out last time I can't get too excited yet. I love the house though so I'm glad it's looking good .

Good afternoon

Am going to attempt a catch up, but tricky when you've been reading but not had time to post, I'm not sure what I've commented on, or not, and I can't remember a lot!

Ses and GYo, sorry things are a bit difficult at home just now, I've no specific advice as such, but what I can say is that sometimes it's good that you get close to the brink, we were there this time last year, and to think we nearly gave it all up... well, it doesn't bare thinking about. As long as you still want to be together, just talk and talk and talk, even if they are sulking or ignoring you, they can still hear. I am so thankful that we bottomed out, it changed so much, some things instantly, some things have taken time, and there are some things that are still taking time, but we are deffo on the right path, and it's just getting better all the time. I hope you can both turn your own situations around and come out the other side happier

Rugby, so for you, you must be livid and so dissapointed. I hope the deadline tactic works and you get something sorted ASAP.

Tink, I think you asked (though may have dreamt it?!) I got the Nokia X6 in the end, I'm not overly keen on the look of the blackberrys (just because of all the buttons) and I have limited choice because DH can't leave 3, and if I do then our bills would be huge, so I have to stick to whatever phones 3 are offering, but must admit, I am quite impressed with this one, I've actually charged it twice since I got it, my old phone was lucky to be charged twice a month ! Still, time for the novelty to wear off yet!

Diege, hope you feel better soon, it is pants being busy and ill

Hello everybody else, sorry if I have forgotten anything, hope you're all well?

Blackpool meet: hope nobody minds but I let LaTour know incase she wanted to join us, she's not sure yet, but I thought the more the merrier. And, we are going out that night, just me and DH, (hoorahhh!), so I'm not going to be able to play out late! Am thinking I'll need to be heading back around 3.30 - 4 o'clock latest (kids dinner's and bath's to sort, and for us to get ready, am planning major glamming up session!!), Diege, if that's not too early for you and fits in with train times etc. you're still welcome to a lift back to Preston obviously.

Have been so busy with these assignments, the days are just melting away, they're not even due in till 20th July, but there is so much to do, I've not stopped. DS1 still off school, he is driving me round the bend. He's not feeling poorly, but can't go back till they've all scabbed over, feel like popping them all one by one with a pin to make them scab just so he can go back .

Right, back to it...

hi ladies
diege - sorry u r feeling ergh

nat yes i did ask

Hi all!

Busy week here. MIL left this morning.

me and DH bought a big family tent today as we wanted a new one with a bigger "living" space its lovely we are going camping next weekend as DH is doing his 24 hour unicycle race. It's off road, long and very hilly so he has been training hard. I am reallly looking forward to it!It will be GC's first camp experience

SES/GYO - I too am sorry you guys are having such problems at the mo. I hope you can both sort it out. I really don't think what you expect of DH is unreasonable SES, in fact he is getting off lightly really. Your DS is both your responsibility.

Tink - Not sure. I have had a blackberry pearl (which I still have) and it was pretty good. sometimes it would crash but not that much of a problem. Nokia's tend to be easy to use in my past experience. I would probably go with the cheapest I currently have a HTC magic which is an android phone so you get loads of apps like iphone but its cheaper. If you go to the shop you should have a go at using both phones.

MMM - sorry for idiot workmen! and bad hoovers!I got a good one off ebay that is still going strong!(was new but loads cheaper than shop).

NJ - I can def sympathise with the being busy! I dont know where the weeks go!

Rugby - sorry to hear the house is not going as smooth as you'd like hope it gets sorted soon.glad C had good day at nursery.

Hi to anyone I missed

Right I better go do something useful...