November 2010 - From Flump to Bump!

[hmmSleep]

This is the new discussion thread .
Stats thread here

Agree with 4madboys, do not look down there after birth, I peeped because it felt like I had a tennis ball between my legs I was so swollen. Also pouring water on when having a wee, I actually just wee'd in the bath or shower, was so much less painful . Also drink lots of water to keep urine diluted, and try to go frequently, hurts much less. And yes, it does get better! (Although I did go to gp about 4 months after birth asking her to check I hadn't been stitched up wrong because it felt all wonky in there ).

People have started passing on lots of great hand-me-downs, fantastic as I gave everything away from when my other 2 were babies. So far have been given moses basket, car seat, baby bath, clothes and someone is going to sell me their hardly used phil and teds to replace my old knackered one, fab!

Agree with 4madboys and hmmSleep the pouring water or getting the shower head (if your loo is right next to a shower bath) was the best info my midwife gave me after birth.
I will be making sure I have a jug by the loo all the time after the birth.

I am having 'OMG I am going to have another baby' thoughts now I am at the half way point and also as I thought time is dragging big time now the scan is almost here

I mentioned perineal massage to my DH - he looked a bit puzzled then mentioned that he thought the perineum was bit between your nose and mouth No wonder he was puzzled as to how that could get torn by the baby - had to explain the difference between the perineum and the philtrum to him

bunnygirl!

Gosh you lot talk lots and lots!

Mothercare do a perinal oil and I think Boots do too.
I used vitamin E oil from Holland & Barratt in 1st pregnancy. Someone told me you can pretty much use any oil BUT that if you are allergic to nuts, stay away from Almond Oil or other nutty oils (can you imagine having a reaction down there!!).
Also, I believe you don't have to start massaging your perinium (sp) until your 3rd trimester either...assuming you can still reach it then!

I have got such BAD pregnancy fug brain head.
Ages ago a posted that I was surprised not to have my 1st proper MW appt until 28 weeks, but, after talking to a mate and re checking my appointment list, it appears I read it wrong and should have had one 3 weeks ago. So, I had to ring up the MW office and explain. Have one tomorrow at 8.30am at the hospital and have to take 3 year old DS with me. That will teach me to be a divvy! Its much worse than 1st time round. I find myself trailing off mid sentence at work and putting things in the wrong places all the time. I swear its a good job I don't have an important stressful job! How do pregnant neurosurgeons manage?!

My bump has finally popped out today & it was the first day I looked properly pregnant and not just fat. Plus, none of my trousers fit anymore. So, I think I will be doing some urgently needed maternity clothes shopping this week!

Hope you are all well. x

Have been lurking girlies... glad you are all looking forward to your scans soon. Loopy like you I've just had first real kicks (yelped out at work!) and little kicks when I am sitting down or in bed. I love feeling him... but it does take some getting used to!

Have just asked my OH about the perineal massage - he looked at me like I was mad. He doesn't get a choice!

QUestion for you experienced ladies... I still have yet to get regularly underway with the pelvic floor exercises. What do you do and how often? Stressing about this, as I know I should be doing them!

Hoping to start pilates classes soonish so will be moving my arse for the first time!!

Not officially 20 weeks til tomorrow but wanted to share a bump pic.
I used to be a lucky cow and have a flat tummy, hope am as lucky after 2 pg

half way

honeymoo I never did them when having DD, shame on me and I do tend to forget now tho you can do them anytime, when you remember hehe like watching TV or in my case walking back from the school run in the morning, all it is is clenching down below like trying to stop yourself having a wee, I do it for about 5secs then release but dont forget to breath as normal

Wow you're slim Rinny .

harmony - hope you're ok and that the fainting-fit was a one-off.

To add to our collection of charming tearing anecdotes, I elected to tear naturally (as I'd been told that I'd heal better), and am definitely opting for an episiotomy (if needed) next time.

Second-degree tear which needed an hours stitching in what felt like ten different directions, then it got infected, and... ugh.

At least if I have an episiotomy they'll be able to stitch in a straight line!

It's different for everyone, is the thing. My advice would probably be listen to your midwife tbh.

Met a newborn today. He was so titchy. Ahhh.

Great pic rinny! You have a nice neat bump, mine is much more flumpy

Thanks for all the perineal info, ladies ! I read a description of how to do it in a book and it sounded so complicated I decided to save that one for another day...

I have freaked myself out today by investigating nurseries - where I live, you have to book 18 months in advance ! I have arranged some visits but it feels a bit weird when the baby is still only half-cooked...

Those with experience, what do you reckon is best if you're going back to work at 11 months and work fairly long hours? Nursery? Childminder? Leave baby in drawer?

booboobedoo that sounds like dreadful tear! Maybe I'll go for a slice again this time after all.

pidgin I went back fulltime at 6 months and arranged to share a nanny with another family - so two babies. Half a nanny costs about the same as a nursery place, at least where we live. It was brilliant. A single good, experienced carer. Didn't have to get DS dressed and out, could just dash off leaving him in pjs with nanny. House was always tidy, dishwasher emptied. We didn't ask her to do much cooking or anything, because 2 babies, but she did do stuff like take parcels to the post office or pick up extra bits of shopping. Also she noticed if there were things they needed, bought bargain books and toys at local charity shop. And she would do some evening babysitting, which was great because you need someone the baby knows really well. Brilliant.

But then she got pg and was very poorly throughout, so that she was off for about 1/3 of days for 9 months. We'd get a text at 7am saying she couldn't come in. We kept trying to persuade her to go on proper sick leave, take 2 weeks off, a month, so that she could rest and we could plan cover. But she was convinced she'd get better. Other mummy and I were v close to the edge of sanity trying to keep everything together and never knowing from one day to the next if we'd get into work.

So when she finally went on maternity leave we got the children settled into nurseries. They were 2 and nearly 2 by then, which was a great age to start nursery. Much, much less convenient for the parents, tho. And of course in nursery the children get sick so then they're off and you can't go to work...

Ah yes the joys of peeing in the shower after giving birth. Bliss! I didn't do perinneal massage and I did tear and needed an episiotomy. I had a labial tear possibly caused by Ds's hand on exit. My MW asked her senior "Where does this bit go?" Luckily senior MW was a dab hand at embroidery and everyone commented on how beautifully she'd done my stitches! I did read somewhere that if you did a lot of horse riding you ended up with a er.... tough fanjo. I've only ridden twice since having DS so hoping this time I won't tear. I think the pain of the stitches were worse than the labour tbh! I walked like I'd pooped myself for a good 10days afterwards!

Went to PIL's yesterday. SIL and BIL greeted me with "Hello Fatty!" I think my rather childish reply was "At least I have an excuse!" Surely everyone knows you never comment on a pregnant ladies weight! I am still carrying weight from DS which I have to admit, I didn't make much effort to lose. I'm definately joing Slimming World when I've had this one.

I have my anomoly scan on Friday. I'm sure I won't be able to resist finding out what I'm having if baby is cooperative. Whether I tell anyone though is another matter!

Thanks very much for that info umf, that's really helpful. How did you find the other person to share the nanny, was it a friend? I feel utterly clueless...

Wow you lot do go on!! I can never remember who said what!

Re p. massage - I probably won't bother. I had an episiotomy 1st time round which was sore but healed ok. 2nd time no tear or epi despite a fairly quick birth. I think its mainly down to luck to be honest.

And on childcare - everyone check out your local childminders when doing your research! DISCLAIMER : ok ok I am biased as I am one - but you may be lucky enough to find a fab one like me If anyone would like to know anything about how a childminder generally operates then just ask.

Other than that, nothing much to report apart from all the things I am loving ; feeling great, neat little bump, lots of baby wriggling and no bleeding (touches wood).

Have a relaxing evening everyone!

Choosing to selectively read posts on here today, terrifying for a first timer - TV births have led me on badly all these years!

We had our 20 week scan today, all was perfect. I was so happy lying there watching baby on the screen that I didn't want her to stop! Baby was very well behaved and gave all the proper poses for photos. We said we didn't want to know sex but then both heard nurse say 'he' in the middle, but don't know if this is habit or a fact ! I already think it is a boy so doesn't change much anyway.

I mentioned that I hadn't felt much movement and was reassured that this was fine and I probably have without realising it.

Will sleep well tonight, good luck to anyone else with upcoming scans

Pidgin we're a bit like you - longish and unpredictable hours in this house, plus friends experience of nurseries (even the so called good ones) has put me off a bit. I'd really like to find a nanny share but no idea how easy this is going to be in reality. I'm not putting names down in nurseries cos it really isn't an option I want from so early. Don't suppose you happen to live in Battersea, SW London?!!

Have started the pelvic floor exercises in earnest today. keep clenching my arse muscles though - it's bloody hard!

Got loads of comments today about bump, was wearing tightish top for first time now that bump is more apparent. Quite funny really.

Rinnyx I am super of your non-flump bump, mine is far more stuffed full of pies.

Gaga your scan sounds lovely. Did you need to have a full bladder or does it not mater by 20 weeks?

Lizzombie hope you had a good antenatal appointment this morning with a nice MW.

First day back at work after holiday was a bit yuk today. Limited brain function made it a hard and long day but then I got quite excited that the next time I'm off for more than a couple of days will be my mat leave!! As for child care, I can't make my brain realise I should be thinking about it seriously. Maybe after my scan next week it will seem a bit more real. Not sure what we will go for, think I like the idea of a childminder more than nursery and it would fit with working hours better . . . .hmm.

hullo hullo...

had my second scan today and baby is bang on schedule w.r.t. measurements et al.

only thing is we wanted to know the sex and then baby decided to be totally uncoorperative and kept legs closed!

sonographer could only take educated guess.

but she thinks it's a girl!

DH is mildly disappointed as he really wanted a boy but he's getting his head around the idea. i thought it would be a boy too. ah well, so much for all the old wives tales!

Glad to hear your scan went well Vix! It is very tantalising not to have a definite definite answer on the sex - but no surprises the old wives' tales turned out to be rubbish I guess!

honeymoo we're in Ealing so not that far away but probably too far for nanny-share purposes! I am thinking I would prefer a CM or nanny-share to nursery, but figured I may as well look at all the options. DH thinks I am crazy to be bothered about it at this stage, but the local nice nursery has no places at all before Sept 2011 so I'll need to put the baby's name down before it's born if we do go for that option. As far as I can work out, you can reserve a place at a nursery and then cancel it a couple of months in advance without financial penalty, so I guess it can't hurt.

Glad to hear about your scan too Gaga, sounds lovely. I would also be interested to hear about the full-bladder thing, don't want to go through the rigmarole of trying to guarantee a full one this time unless it's really necessary!

Balijay I have childminder questions! How long in advance can you book a CM? & what's the best way to find one - I know there are local registers but is there a way of finding out about recommendations? Thank you!

pidgin I found nannyshare family by posting a message on university parent email list. Met other mummy in a cafe, decided we each seemed nice, and agreed to have our babies looked after together for next x years! She's one of my best friends now.

I've seen lots of messages on uni list about this since, so I have the impression that it's something lots of people are wanting.

Several of the mothers in my NCT antenatal group arranged to share nannies in various combinations. Contacting local NCT is a way I'd try.

For this baby I'm putting name down for recommended nursery already. Not actually sure when and if I'll be working, but seems good insurance as you have to do it so far in advance.

But if I start working before baby is a year or perhaps even 2 years, I'd rather use a nanny. It was such a good arrangement for DS. That's ok, though, because nannies are often looking for work only a month or two ahead, so don't need to sort it out until near the time.

Just a quick post to mark my place.

For everyone asking about full bladder at 20 week scan, no you don't need one. Receptionist told me that at my 12 week scan, but did double check when I went for 20 week one and she assured me anything over 15 weeks doesn't require a full bladder as baby is big enough by then.
Hope scan coming up all go well and people wanting to find out have cooperative babies

quick post to say re pelvic floor exercises i just do them whenever i remember, squeeze and hold for a count of ten

AND PUMPKIN PATCH HAS A SALE ON I GOT MATERNITY JEANS FOR £15 REALLY NICE AS WELL!! one pair are bootcut, fit fab on my bum etc, the other pair are cropped so nice for the summer, but at £15 a pair!! bargain. also got a little babygown/nightie thing for the baby for £3:99! so if you have a pumpkin patch near you its def worth going to have a look AND if they dont have your size out then ask, i did and they went out back and had them in stock

Rinnyx you are so slim, I'm jealous as my best feature was my waist and I don't have one any more.

Fenouille yes, I know we are lucky with the crèche. DH often sees the children playing on their bobby cars in the courtyard below his office and we have highchairs in the work canteen.

Had the big scan yesterday. Baby seemed to be trying to put its finger up its nose. Charming. Anyway, everything is in order so that's a relief.

I was worried about having to spend a fortune on maturity clothes, but have become queen of ebay over the weekend and now one of my colleagues has offered to lend me all of her stuff which is fantastic.

Good news on the scan Cardi! I am also becoming an ebay fiend - so far have got by with two dresses and a top bought on there and mixed in with my own clothes, but I think I'm going to invest in one of those maternity bundles soon...

Thanks for the advice umf that's v helpful. I also work in a university but it's in a different city from the one I live in (which brings its own problems in terms of childcare!) so I might try NCT or local places as you suggest. (On unrelated point, am I right in remembering that you are finishing dissertation? Hope it is going well, I am trying to finish something off at the mo too and it's slowly killing will to live...).

Hi, for the scan I did drink a 500ml bottle the hour before just to be sure. Pics were really clear, but don't know if it would have been fine anyway!

Glad to hear some more good scan news, with that and the sunshine, life feels good!

Can I just ask hayfever sufferers what they have been taking? I have taken nothing so far but really suffering at the minute. Dr doesn't want to give me anything and chemist wont either - say I need it on prescription. Anyone else found this? I would try to cope but sleep is getting quite disrupted. Thanks!

Hi Pidgin

Yes it is possible to book a childminder several months in advance - how much maternity leave are you planning on taking? Nearly all will ask for a deposit (I ask for the 1st months fees). Some will refund this off the the 1st bill, others hang on to the deposit until the child leaves. If the care is not needed for a while, some childminders may also ask for a retainer - a payment each month before the child starts - I don't bother with this.

The best thing is to find a childminder by word of mouth if possible - do you know any local mums you could ask? Visit as many CMs as possible and ask to see their portfolio or similar. I have references in mine from parents who would be happy to be contacted by phone by other potential parents. Hth