The PESH Deli for updiffed BESHes who love prunes and smell of wee wees

[rollerbaby]

BESH BABYWIN STATS

This isn't a fucking list - right?

BESH BAYBEES
dontrythisathome, Bay Amaryllis born March 25.
Cheggers, twinz girlz, born April 12

UPDIFFED
FannyPriceless, her pelvis went menkul, due June 14
CUNextTuesday, takes no shit from the Daily Mail, due June 28
IggyPiggy, The one who loves BUMSEX, due July 20
CurlyCasper, hospital botherer due July 21 (girl)
Skihorse, cradle snatching web geek, due July 22 (boy)
Carrots, organic hippy hunter, due July 25 (boy)
Cosmosis, the one that likes a good ride, due August 22
backinthebox, she bought a racehorse, due September 6
skatergrrrl, the one that overtook the rest, September ??
VAG, lives in De Nile, due 19 September
Honeymoo, no it's not fucking indigestion, due November 2
silversky, the biggest farter, due 21 October (first baybee)
okiecokie, self-confessed control freak, due November 6
SomethingSuitablyWitty, benelux babe, due November
ReginaMonologue, must-get-the-goss-from-ski, due November 20

Ski, have you asked them what happens if he turns back round again after next week but before your section? I know some people who's babies were all over the place in the weeks before birth before finally settling into whatever position they choose to come out in. Until your waters break there is genenrally room for them to wriggle around. If you have to have a planned CS at least you will be able to plan for it all and get your lighting and sountrack sorted out! But I would be asking some questions about the likelihood of a normal birth if it were me.

I've got my next mw appointment on Tuesday and following that they'll be weekly. I suppose they'll just keep an eye on it but if he's not for the turning then from my pov a scheduled c-section will be preferable to starting at home naturally and then getting whipped in because his sodding big feet are sticking out. We now have a colour photo of his willy & balls - I expect the more elderly members of both our families to say "are you sure it's a boy? It could be wrong you know - that could be anything".

I'm trying not to worry about it - or piss my pants. Both occupations should keep me busy.

silver I started blooming at around 29 weeks.

ski we are going to find out the sex, but I don't think we'll have to wait till the 20 week scan because the diagnostic screening results which are due in a week or so will tell us if it's a boy or a girl (well, if I checked the box, which I think I did... must check!) Failing that then yep it'll be the 5th July we find out at our 20 week scan. As for Julian sitting on his arse, well that's just not right, but I wouldn't get stressed about it. Like the ladies say, there are plenty of techniques to get the blighter to turn around, gravity is your friend! I think I'm realising that the chances of me being "sunroofed" are pretty high considering every scan we've been to they've commented on how big the baby is, but I'm ok with that - one thing I've learnt with this whole being pregnant thing is to take each hurdle as it's thrown at you and just jump over it when you need to.

cos pics are fab! I can't wait to get ours done in what feels like an eternity!

On another note, things I thought I'd never hear my OH say:-

"I can't wait for the weekend, I'm quite excited about going to mothercare to look at baby monitors..."

And one other thing, I've seen two company slogans that made me laugh recently:-

1. "Get the best handjob in the North" (car valeting firm in Stockport, Manchester).

1. "30 years down the drain" (Plumber in our local town).

Off to do some work now, oh wait. I need tea and biscuits to do that...

Judgey pants alert: June edition of "Practical Parenting & Pregnancy"

Lorraine R, 39 from Wrexham was already a mum to six kids when she found out she was expecting triplets.

I quote:

"I wasn't on the pill, but I hadn't expected to get pregnant at my age."

Stupid stupid cunt. So this idiot has now had 9 kids and STILL doesn't understand contraception.

Quickly jumping on here to say hello while am alone in office

ski soz to hear about the turning Julian... fingers crossed for a volte face asap.

In other news - how insane am I?

base your answers on this:
We are moving house either 4 or 6 weeks after baybee arrives (depending on actual date of birth innit). We have bought a house that needs complete renovating - so need to find somewhere to rent for 12 week first... so actually moving twice... we will haz no monies... And we have to go to yorkshire for a random 3 weeks in the middle of it all...

Where and why in yorkshire, iggs? ski clearly a planned section is better than an emergency section. I take it you're not comfortable with a vaginal breech delivery? That's obviously your choice, but if you would prefer vaginal if you can get him to turn, as everyone says, there's loads that can be done about it including getting a doctor to get him to turn. Needs doing before he engages though. And, he may well turn naturally. I know I'm repeating what people have said but this is really important if you want to avoid surgery. If you're not too bothered, that's fine obviously!

Is for Bloke's work... and is Leeds... and we all have to go... dog as well

iggs cool! We should try to do an iggs rots and cos meet up as we'll be really close to each other!

Leeds is ok actually, at least most of it. You'll be fine.

Is not the location am worrying about! Is the travelling/ staying in hotels/ having to walk the dog as well bit

iggs yes I would be worried about that, too.

But what do you reckon to a meet?

iggy Yes, clearly you're taking on a lot, but you have a wonderfully supportive husband, you love your well-behaved dog and I bet you are a whiz with organisation - in fact NATO probably contact you when planning operations! You'll be fine - and I'm very much envious of the three of you pushing prams around Leeds/Harrogate and doing yummy-mummy things (and rots whipping her boobs out everywhere).

reggie Of course you will find out this week! Do you have any feelings either way? As for the walky-talky - apparently all the blokes like that.

Some of my friends have been asking what they can get me - I'm at a bit of a loss really as I have "everything" I think I need, except the maxi-cosi and you can't ask for 100+ quids worth of car-seat! So I've asked for ski clothes for Julian for his first ski holiday! Following that he'll need jodhpurs and a riding helmet.

rots definitely not comfortable with a vaginal breech delivery - as cossie said, the pub is going to burn down - but I don't want to take out the whole neighbourhood too - and don't forget - I'll be doing this without painkillers... My maternal grandmother had her first breech - and granddad was on an HMS something somewhere for 2 years - she said it was like "shelling peas" - but women were as hard as nails back then weren't they? If Julian wants to be a little bugger then I'll let him stand up in there jumping up and down on my bladder thinking "ha, got her" and then the arse will fall out of his world with the rude awakening of the sun-roof being opened! I am a little worried about surgery given my history of "crashing"... but at least jailbait can keep an eye on me.

Right, well I'm off to the town hall to register jailbait as my babydaddy. I think it's rather a nice system actually - we stroll along and he says "well, afaik it's mine although she does keep muttering on about Derek Morgan". It also means that post-partum jailbait can register the boy's birth & name whilst I hole up in bed.

Iggy the answer is obviously completely insane - but so what? Life goes on, just with a tiny person in tow. Frankly they are much easier to deal with at just a few weeks old than later on. OH and I did loads of renovating while DD was only weeks old. We were in rented when DD was born, and doing up a dilapidated 450yr old wreck. Builders didn't believe I was actually going to have a baby and we kicked them out when DD was born and finished it all off ourselves. (We moved in when she was 3 weeks old, and only had one light working in the whole house, and one tap!) Admittedly there are things we still haven't finished, such as the skirting board in the bathroom.

You'll be fine.

Ski have stiff words with Julian about turning round!

boxer I rather fear it's the Jackapoo who has been lying on my tummy and sending subliminal messages. E.g., wheezing stuff like "Julian... I am your father... stand on your own two feet and together we shall rule the world" and "get up soldier, get on your feet - this is a WAR!".

boxer I rather fear it's the Jackapoo who has been lying on my tummy and sending subliminal messages. E.g., wheezing stuff like "Julian... I am your father... stand on your own two feet and together we shall rule the world" and "get up soldier, get on your feet - this is a WAR!".

Sorry Julian is breeched, Ski

I went to the doctors yesterday as my back is really sore - I assumed it was muscular pain from the baby weight and asked for a referral to an osteopath. Turns out I have a mild kidney infection! I now have antibiotics so should all be fine in a few days.

Also, SkaterBoy has had to trim my lad garden with his beard clippers as I can no longer see myself sub-bump.

You DOG is the father??? Why am I only just finding this out now?

skates bad luck ref kidneys - I have manky ones and I feel your pain

I caught sight of lady garden in my wardrobe mirror yesterday and frankly it already looks like a warzone. Will Not Look After Birth Process. Will Not Let Hom Look After Birth Process. Dignity Must Be Maintained As Far As Possible.

boxy that does actually make me feel better

And ski am giggling at thought of being described as organised... but you are right - it will be fine..

Meant to say earlier - am intrigued by the girl predictions... i am convinced it is a boy - bit I don't mind either way

Sorry bout infection skates that is bollocks

rots meet up is possible if I have not gone into complete meltdown by then

oh yeah - and fab news reg

In other news - i have been going to the osteopath and highly recommend it... she is going to start 'preparing my pelvis' from the next session - whatever that entails...

In hospital with my beautiful boy! Can't type much on stupid blackberry. Very happy and very tired. Home tomorrow I hope. Talk more then. Love to all PESHes.

Yey fanny!!! Oh congrats my friend

YAY!!! It's a win for Fanny!

Thanks skater - not much point worrying about it though - the little shoite!

cunty I'm almost disappointed you've turned up to talk about dog sex - I had you down as being in labour AS WE TYPE today. Dunno, had a feeling.

So jailbait and I went to the town hall to get him recognised as the legal father. We have been asked to provide evidence that neither of us have ever been married. I am hunting down all my ex's and making them sign statements such as "bwahahaha, well I knew she wanted to, but obviously I didn't - it was a sex thing" and the like. Ffs. How can you prove you were never married? Can I get signed statements from every boy in the UK pls?

Best not ski - Doula's gone away for 10 days and Mum in France. Nothing doing my end.

Can you prove it's not th dog's? You can prove you were never married by not producing the marriage certificate. Duh

Fanny!!! well done and wonderful news. Hoe it all went well and since you may be home tomorrow sounds like all went swimmingly!

Yay fanny !!!!!!!

Yay for Fanny!

Oi Iggy..... BUMSEX.