The PESH Deli - where black-humoured diffed BESHes turn to hormonal mush.

[CurlyCasper]

If you don't like the title, tough. I'm still talking

BESH BABYWIN STATS

This isn?t a fucking list ? right?

BESH BAYBEES
dontrythisathome, Bay Amaryllis born March 25.
Cheggers, twinz girlz, born April 12

UPDIFFED
Ponymum, the one with the worst hips, due mid June
CUNextTuesday, takes no shit from the Daily Mail, due June 28
IggyPiggy, The one who loves BUMSEX, due July 20
CurlyCasper, the ginger with the dodgy joints due July 21 (girl)
Skihorse, cradle snatching web geek, due July 22 (boy)
Carrots, organic hippy hunter, due July 25 (boy)
Cosmosis, the one that likes a good ride, due August 22
Pandora, She's got wings, due September 6
skatergrrrl, the one that overtook the rest, September ??
VAG, lives in De Nile, due 19 September
Honeymoo, puppy lover, due November 1
silversky, the biggest farter, due 21 October (first baybee)
okiecokie, self-confessed control freak, due November 6
SomethingSuitablyWitty, benelux babe, due November
ReginaMonologue, must-get-the-goss-from-ski, due November 20

Don't say it! Don't even think it!

I know Twitty. I am beyond help really.

Talking about hospital bags I had 2 largish size ones, one of which was a suitcase, it looked like I was going on holiday. Included was a pair of swimming shorts for MrC in case he ended up in the birthing pool with me (not that I even ended up in the birthing pool!)

A pillow and a decent sized towel is a good shout.

Box yay for Colin!

Fanny sorry to hear you are downstairs bound. Are you managing get around ok or are stuck in front of day time tv all day? I assume you are not working?

I LOVE TOPSHOP MATERNITY.

I am now the proud owner of 2 pairs of jeans that fit and a couple of tops/dresses that will last until bump is the size of a giant spacehopper.

I could have wept with gratitude. I did however weep when I got off at clapham junction as felt so weak and shite after not eating enough. Hubba bubba was like, what's happened??? I snottily answered I'm hungry!! Oh dear.

Okie don't they give you towels?? Jesus I'll be bringing my own bed at this rate.

Pleased top shop trip was a success. I need to find time to get to Oxford Street.

Towels are scratchy and will cover either lady garden or nips, not both as they are likely to be the size of a tea towel. Suggest you take big (dark coloured) bath sheet!

Just watching DC talking about how he's going to now run the country and stuff, but far more importantly I was standing next to the telly so that YOB could double check that my bump's bigger than Sam Cam's. Apparently it is.

Priorities, don't you know.

Ha ha. I found it all very emotional. She was so proud of him and it made me weep. Gordon's speech did too. Oh dear bit hormonal today.

I thought it was a great speech Gordon made. Shame he ruined it later by complaining about not having enough money in the election and how the media was against them (not exactly for the blues, either, matey). I felt pretty sorry for him actually. Like, he should never have been in that position - just didn't suit him - and he did try really hard but he just couldn't do it.

I felt the same when I heard his speech saying he'd soon resign at 5pm last night. Very sad.

Loved DC's speech. V hopeful it will all work out ok spesh with the yellows softening things a bit (but hope that doesn't screw up the financial stuff that needs doing).

Hello, just a quickie before bed.

Hossie bags: I will pack when I have finished unpacking. Might make a "just in case" list though. There will be one for me, one for baby and one for dad (clothes, feeds and toys for him).

Politics - only just in the door and missed it all. I hear we have a new PM?

Clothes - bring on the warm weather, so the fewer of them I have to worry about the better

And WOOP! for the ducklings. I miss my duckling...

I love the clever packing suggestions from the second-timers - e.g., cokie's "take a big dark towel or show the world your mangled lady garden" - see? They never tell you this stuff in the books!

I was very "tired and emotional" last night - and of course am paying the price now by being awake - I think it may have had something to do with running late when rushing in to town to meet the girls. For the first time in months I built up some speed power-marching through the streets and I overtook people! Granted, they were older than even the oldest PESH and one of them had a stick - but I fail to see what difference that makes.

Am off to watch our new leader's speech and read about a billion negative fb status updates. Apparently a lot of people are leaving the country!

yes I know, I would never have thought of towels! Thank GOD! Will add to my spreadsheet now...

Someone also said bags of change in case mobiles not allowed?

So virtually zero sleep last night in an attempt to get doglet back on track with sleeping in crate. He barked from 11pm until 5am. FFS. We are all knackered today but I'm not giving in, we are going to get this sorted cos I know we're not helping matters letting him sleep on the bed. He thinks he has access everywhere and maybe that will work when baby comes, maybe not. Anyway I know everyone's fed up with me whinging on about it. So need to shut up and get on with it!

Towels a must. And (without wishing to put a downer on things) a bag for anywhere up to a week for both of you just in case you have to stay in. I never imagined I would be in for 5 days last time, and OH brought me lots and lots of things in hospital, but every day, twice a day, no matter how many times I begged, kept forgetting to bring me clean clothes. So I had 2 nighties and a pair of jim-jams for 5 days. They needed replacing by the end of day one.

Duckling report this morning - 4 more out. The 2 that hatched yesterday and the Frankenstein chicks are off to pre-school today to be subjected to small children grabbing at them. Poor things!

Be aware that most hospitals will not allow you to plug anything of your own into the electric sockets. Last time I was in MrP had to take my mobile home with him to charge overnight!

So are there people in this country who are actually happy with what has happened? It just seems like lose-lose-lose to me. But theoretically I don't actually have a say as I have not yet cast my vote. We go to the polls on 27 May. I am thinking of auctioning off my vote on Mumsnet, and am prepared to listen to all arguments. Unfortunately MrP pointed out this would be illegal, so perhaps not.

Priceless Girl is currently playing with her toy ducklings in honour of boxy's big hatch event.

boxer I'm very much enjoying duck chick update. I hope you gave your husband a good firm punch at the lack of clean clothes - what an eejit! Don't hospitals still sell old-fashioned nightgowns in the shop? Or is it all healthy food and flahz?

I puked from 4am to 6am and then went back to bed until 9. Pregnancy is brilliant. Getting my boy scanned up this afternoon. The git.

(I also got misty eyed when SamCam gave him a kiss. )

How are we doing for glamorous pregnancy symptoms which indicate the polar opposite of glowing?
I have :
peach fuzz tummy
eczema (still) around nose/lip area
what I "suspect" is herpes outbreaks on my lip/nose/chin

fuzzy tum, fattening face (although that could be the steroids), felt sick at 3am, bloody knackered again and having axe-strike pains through fanjo. Glowing indeed

But only two and a half weeks of work to go! And 10 weeks till EDD!

BTW we'll have to consider updating the non-list soon, so get your requests in...

morning all.

off to meeting in a sec, so not got long.

Just came to say that i haz posted new bump pic on profile - cos is huge

ski soz about the sickness - there must be some compesation tho - lets hope your baybee is the goodest (is werd) sleeper ever or somesuch similar.

Hospitals mainly sell chocolates and crisps in the shops... don't remember any healthy food...

Our Doula came round last night to chat things through. V positive experience, chatted through birth prep plans A and B (just in case), she got all my preferences down on paper so we all know what's what, right from how long to stay at home to what to do about 3rd stage. Fortunately a lot of my preferences were in line with her values (not that she would have been fussed if they weren't) but we got to talking about taking a rest if no pushing urge at transition and not necessarily working to MWs timetable, giving her and Hom permission to question the reasoning for any intervention, and she was very supportinve of all of that so we are on the same page.

The only thing I didn't really subscribe to was the option of drying out the placenta and having it made into tablets for me to take (which apparently are really really good for you during BF and for recovery, iron replacement etc). I told her it was a step too far for me, but promised to tell carrots about it in case she was interested !!

She gave me loads of advice for optimal positioning, and techniques to progress things if it seems like they are slowing down, like sacral massage and pushing down on the hips which helps lever open the pelvis to give more room. She was also v interesting about labouring on your back (if anyone is likely to be doing this) - she said that during the end of stage 1, beginning of stage 2 the sacral bones and coccyx move backwards to open up the birth canal. Obv if you are on your back this totsally restricts your body's ability to do this and hampers the baby's progress.

She said not to be forced into lying on the bed, even if you are being monitored as there may be other positions you can get into (like lying on your side) which can be less restrictive. She said one woman had made her husband sit on the top frame of the hospital bed and she sat on his thighs, so she was on the bed but still had the benefit of gravity. You can also have the bed raised as high as poss so you can be on your hands and knees which gives the MWs the ability to monitor, and check on progress easily. You can also request a hand held monitor instead of being hooked up to a machine - some MWs don't do this automatically because it involves staying put and not going off for a brew whilst the machine does its thing (and doula said sometimes MWs are worried about litigation so like the 'auditability' of a FHR chart), but is much better if you are keen on active birthing, and you are perfectly entitled to ask.

Bottom line is, empower yourself or your birth partner to always ask how long you've got until intervention becomes a necessity, and what are the options. If the response begins 'we'd rather...' then there is room for negotiation

Hope this is helpful. I was hugely reassured by it all...

cunty That is fucking minging! I think poor curly's position may be limited.

Other minging symptom. I got a skin-tag overnight on my lower neck a couple of weeks ago - then ran the seatbelt over it. It swelled up like a tick (ugh) and turned a horrible colour. I touched it in the morning to see if it still hurt and it fell off. Still no bumgrapes.

Btw iggy thank you re: good sleeping baybee. Please to swap if not?

Following on from the girl who fully dilated walking to the hospital - she's also doing really well with night feeds. She's very zen about it all and simply accepts that she's going to be up in the night for a while and that's just the way it is - rather than getting upset about it all. She's also eschewed all books/advice for the meantime and is doing what feels right/natural for their family. Bloody perfect I think!

Cunty that sounds great. I'm looking forward to having a bit more dialogue with mine... did you contact her much throughout or just towards the end? The only conversation I've had with mine beyond the initial consultation is to say how fat I feel.

Skin tags are minging. I got one on back of neck which I'm constantly nearly scratching off. Yeuch.

By the way. When I sneeze, a bit of wee comes out now. Is that normal? My pelvic floor is woeful. Do I start now?

You say that ski but I wonder re curly. It's easy to assume she'll be restricted but it may be worth investigating other less well-known positions

I got a skin tag under left boob. Is like a third raspberry.

Weeing whilst sneezing is very common round these parts. I wear panty liners every day just in case, and also because I have FJ like a torrent.

Sorry, in answer to your doula Q hun we've had a coupl of coffees together and emailed a bit, but this is the start of 'formal proceedings' making sure she knows the score on this first visit, and then in a fortnight teaching Hom some 'massage techniques'. Can't wait for that .

Will make sure Bin Lids are out somehwere, just in case it gets...ah... intimate

cunty Roughly drag a seatbelt over it.

honey I went through a stage of weeing when I puked or coughed violently - for some reason it seems to have passed - so I don't know what that's all about.

Oh god - teaching hom "massage techniques" - isn't this all going to get a bit SaTC when Charlotte gets lady-spunked on at the hippy massage tantric place?