The PESH Deli - where black-humoured diffed BESHes turn to hormonal mush.

[CurlyCasper]

If you don't like the title, tough. I'm still talking

BESH BABYWIN STATS

This isn?t a fucking list ? right?

BESH BAYBEES
dontrythisathome, Bay Amaryllis born March 25.
Cheggers, twinz girlz, born April 12

UPDIFFED
Ponymum, the one with the worst hips, due mid June
CUNextTuesday, takes no shit from the Daily Mail, due June 28
IggyPiggy, The one who loves BUMSEX, due July 20
CurlyCasper, the ginger with the dodgy joints due July 21 (girl)
Skihorse, cradle snatching web geek, due July 22 (boy)
Carrots, organic hippy hunter, due July 25 (boy)
Cosmosis, the one that likes a good ride, due August 22
Pandora, She's got wings, due September 6
skatergrrrl, the one that overtook the rest, September ??
VAG, lives in De Nile, due 19 September
Honeymoo, puppy lover, due November 1
silversky, the biggest farter, due 21 October (first baybee)
okiecokie, self-confessed control freak, due November 6
SomethingSuitablyWitty, benelux babe, due November
ReginaMonologue, must-get-the-goss-from-ski, due November 20

Tis I that wants a Colin. You are free to eat him though as I still feel suitably detached.

I can't believe I have been through 1 and a half pregnancies eating medium well beef. I thought I was pretty clued up but clearly not, thanks wisdom of the PESH.

Chick pics are well cute.

Has anyone packed a hospital bag yet? I was tihnking of doing one next week "just in case".

okie I also feel that rare/medium etc beef is fine. I confess I was being a little tongue in cheek with my response . Sorry.

I've just had a tin of soup for lunch which seemed a bit lumpy. Just realised its BBE date was 2002. Ho hum. Time to clear out the cupboards.

box I grew up on a farm (organic of course) which had a few beef cows. We named all our cows and as kids we hand-fed all the calves before and after school with buckets of milk and a rubber teat thing (eventually we bred from our own cows and they were allowed to stay with their mums). Each was named and the packets of beef in the freezer were "Daisy's rump" etc. Sounds brutal but we knew exactly where the meat came from, how it was reared (very lovingly), where it was slaughtered (V local butcher who at the time had an abattoir before local ones were banned in favour of the awful central slaughter houses we now have), who took them to the butcher (my mum, for minimum stress) and, as it turns out, what they were fed on (so no BSE and therefore CJD in our stock).

So name yer boys. They're entitled to the love before the pot.

ski not doing anything until I'm back from Ukraine. Then I will pack a bag. After fiasco with LC, where he and I had nothing, I would like to be prepared.

Yep, I just want to be "ready" - I know it's a bit early, but as bosses neice born at 31 weeks and my colleague D going in to hospital at 3am monday morning having worked her last day on the friday... just want to be prepared. E.g., I have a load of baby clothes for Julian which need to be washed - so the least I can do is get all that washed and stick an outfit for him and a nightshirt for me in the bag - not that I'm planning on GOING to hospital but... D's plan for that Monday morning was going to be packing her bag - as it was she had a mad scramble through a chest-of-drawers.

No hospital bag packed yet but I still have a few months to go!

A mate of mine had her baby a month early, she had nothing organised, so pack away I say.

Some of my baby books even advise you to open a pack of nappies and wipes, loosen the tops on your surgical spirits and talc etc before going into hospital, so when you have to wash and change the baby one-handed things are ready for you!

I want the weather to improve so I can wear some of the summer maternity wardrobe Ive bought!

I am supposed to be packing my hospital bag this afternoon, as I now appear to be 4 weeks away from the big event. (That's a scared face, btw.) Only I forgot to ask MrP to bring a bag downstairs before he left this morning so it would involve me crawling up the stairs and slithering down again with the bag, which I'm not too keen on. We moved our bedroom downstairs last week as the stairs were killing me (barn conversion so we luckily have a mix of upstairs and downstairs rooms). I'll report back if I make any progress.

Is this the worst case of confused preggo brain ever?

I say do it. I think it was Rots story of being stuck minus maternity pads that has already made me plan my bags (yes 3) with strategic precision.

Boxette your chicks are so CUTE. I want one. Will it stop my dog barking? He woke us up at 2am... arrrrr

Just to join in the lunch reports. I went to John Lewis to take back some clothes I bought clearly in hormonal delusion (i.e. a very revealing summer dress which makes me now look like Jane Goldman aka Mrs Jonathan Ross). Anyway went to the place to eat there, and sitting next to these 2 women who without any irony spent 30 minutes discussing air con v sunroofs v seat heaters in their respective Audis, dental work and botox plus a really hilarious take on the current political situation. Is it me, or does anyone else sometimes feel like telling people how DAFT and BORING they are?

Peed off with mr moo who has told me he is annoyed that I haven't done any food shopping this week. WTF? I may move into a hotel for the next 5 days.

Ski I thought potted shrimp was baaad cos sort of uncooked prawns (although I spose they are cooked briefly and then chilled). I bloody love them. I could live on them.

Belly bands are shit. My jeans are too tight to do up now and fall down with belly band. I need mat wear. Is it acceptable to go to work in a tracksuit do you think?

Someone put me out of my misery if I ever do THAT

Anyway, hot news (far more exciting than the state of the government) is that Colin has hatched! Could be a Colette, who knows. But I have named it Colin in honour of Okie and it's your fault if it has a gender crisis Off over to the other place right now with pics.

Rots we named our animals which we ate too. Foremost in my memories is William the bullock. He was tasty! I have a feeling you would be one of the few people who would be interested in my 'Christmas dinner, the friendly way' pics.

fanny eeeek @ swimming thing!

mr moo needs a kick up t'arse.

Moo if you are already planning your hossie bags you are far too organised. I generally pack for work the day I go, about half an hour before I leave the house. So there is every chance, if I take the same approach, that I will be wearing white linen trousers and suncream at the hospital Still, at least I'll have a ready supply of either Bacardi and Coke or gin and tonic on hand too.

fanny Gosh! The poor girl! Jailbait says the only reason I've not done that is that we change together at the pool (fruity continental mixed changing rooms!) and so he's able to keep an eye on me.

honey Yep, frequently - my patience has somewhat withered since getting pregnancy hormones. Btw, the dress sounds fabulous - you wear that and I'll wear my arse-skimming one! I didn't get on with my bellyband and jeans - same as you, not strong enough to keep jeans up - it did work well with skirts however. No shopping? Tell the lazy cunt to do it online and leave you alone. Nice story on a thread on AIBU the other day I think it was whereby a woman cooked up her husband's favourite meal - as he walked through the door he saw her eating it, got excited and asked where his was. In the fridge, she told him. He opened the fridge to find ingredients. He's not nagged since.

I too am a bloody shoddy packer. I'll arrive with 10 novels, some cat crap goggle wax, 2 pairs of winter socks, a sarong with a hole in it, a few grubby looking cotton wool buds and some foundation.

ha ha! Go Colin!!! yep am a total organisamanic control freak. Mummy-hood will no doubt come as an extreme shock. I've been following those threads which tell you what to pack in your bags. There is some bloody good wisdom in there. My particular fave being to keep juice cartons in freezer and then take out on way to hospital for long lasting ice cold drinkies! My mum pissed herself laughing when I told her about this at the weekend, saying that would be the last thing on my mind.

I've planned:

a) labour only bag including pillows
b) baby bag (so as not to mix up with own stuff and easily have to hand
c) if have a caesarean and need to stay in longer bag
d) dad change of clothes bag

Mr Moo and doula will be having an indepth advance induction of what's in which bag so we avoid conversations along the line of "what's a maternity pad" etc etc. Mr Moo has trouble finding his own keys/items of clothing most days so maybe a colour coded map would be helpful.

OK, I have assembled a few things in a random pile on the bed (sans bag to put it all in):
2 x black dotty nighties with easy hooter access
1 pack giant black supermarket knickers
an old tube of lansinoh
a little hand held fan
a pack of handwipes
a pack of newborn nappies
newborn vests and sleepsuits.

Obviously loads of stuff still to go, but at least I've made a start! I am now realising that in order to pack a bag of toiletries I need to buy a spare toothbrush, deodorant etc as I really can't be relied on to remember to add these things on the day.

honeypoo You're going to be really pissed off when gasping for a cold drink in the overheated labour ward and all you can picture is those juice cartons still at home in the freezer!

skater Pray tell, what are the surgical spirits and talc to be used for??

I know! Fanny is this your first ickle baybee?

honey My second. Little Miss Priceless is nearly two.

Do you guys ever wonder where people get their "facts" from? A few weeks ago there was a thread on mn about a woman contemplating a move to The Netherlands but was reluctant to do so because of the euthanasia laws here meaning that her special needs child would not be looked after because the medics would prefer it was er... euthanised. I had brunch with someone today who has a SN child who says that the medics (as I suspected) bend over backwards to give her help, not just medics but various social and play schemes too. But seriously, where the fucking fuck do people get these bullshit facts about life/zer government/health from? Is there a Penguin Book o' Lies out there which comes free with a box of christmas crackers? How can they go around repeating this shit without ever asking if it's remotely possible?

ski Daily Mail? News of the World? Zoo magazine?

Of course I don't actually know whether The Daily Mail publishes stoies like this, as I have never dirtied my hands by touching a copy. But I am informed by very reliable sources like this on youtube that it is certainly possible.

Duckling No. 2 is out! It's better than daytime TV

honey - you are scaring me! I was about to wave an airy hand and point out that November was much too far away to think about such things... Erm, guess not then.

BTW, juice cartons in the freezer will expand and become misshapen and possibly burst. Not worth it surely. But I admit it: I'm out of my depth here...

God that poor women at the pool. That is the kind of thing that I dream that I have done, but have never actually done in real life to date, THANK GOD.

yet