November 2010 - It's not fat, it's a baby!

[Lorelai]

Hi all. Thought I would get the new thread started before the old one got too full! Thanks to nomoremagnolia for the title

Really sorry to hear Babybecks' news.

I took the plunge and bought a scan, as I figured I might be waiting another month for my dating scan and I needed the reassurance.

Little bean/blob is no longer a bean/blob - it's a proper baby! By the scan I'm 10 weeks 3 days, which would make my EDD 17th November instead of the 18th, but pretty much bang on for the dates I suspected. Strong heartbeat and the scanner made me jiggle my hips, following which baby went mental! Kicking, spinning and throwing its arms out!Then we saw the face - to which I said "oh my god, I'm having a monkey!" I'm absolutely thrilled I decided to spend the money as I feel so much better now.

I'm obviously subconsciously thinking it's a boy as I was saying things like "look at his heart, look at him move!". Not that I'm really bothered either way.

Then I decided to live up to my name and bought a ton of wool to start knitting. Been dying to get cracking, but felt a bit like I'd jinx things if I started. First project is a blanket...

honeymoo - I had a homebirth with DS1, but not intentionally! I had planned to go to the hospital, and had been told to ring the midwife when the contractions were 3 mins apart and "very intense". They never got to 3 mins, and I had no frame of reference for "very intense", but when I was clearly in quite a bit of pain, my DP rang the midwife. She came round intending to assess me and send me to the hospital, but saw that I was fully dilated and suggested that I give birth at home.

It was BRILLIANT! No fluorescent lights, no metal bedframe, no hearing other women howling, and - best of all - I had a bath and was in my own bed within a couple of hours of giving birth. I'm 10 weeks pg now and am definitely planning to have this one at home (but with some gas & air this time - last time the second midwife arrived with pain relief 5 mins after I'd given birth!).

Morning all. Lots to catch up on, so will try not to forget anything!

I bought some new bras yesterday - deliberately didn't tell the fitter I was pg so she didn't argue with me about underwire! Haven't changed much - up a back size but down a cup size, but like someone else said, I just feel like they are a bit 'fuller' and perkier which is nice. I'm sure they will get bigger towards the end - I was a G cup when bfing last time and am now down to a DD

I am thinking about a home birth, but it kind of depends where we are living then (will be moving this summer) as to whether it is feasible (space etc!), and also as I am a rather large lady, I might have to fight with them about it. Will mention at my booking in appt on Tuesday that I am thinking about it and see what she thinks.

I'm struggling to find maternity clothes though - most of the shops only go up to size 20 in maternity (even if they sell bigger clothes in non-maternity - do they think fat people don't get pg ), and my mainstay last time, Evans, have stopped doing maternity wear. I am ok for tops (don't need them now, but will be able to wear size 18/20 when I do), but am really struggling to find size 22 trousers. Any help greatly appreciated!

Morning all

Very sorry to hear babybecks' news

Honeymoo we're hoping for a HB for No. 1. Mentioned it briefly at booking appt but apparently proper discussion will be at 15 wk antenatal appt. Our major concern was that we live on 3rd floor with no lift but MW was totally unconcerned. At the moment I'm low risk so hopefully that will continue and we'll have a good chance at at least starting a HB.

As a result have been thinking about birth pools and doulas too but a bit worried about cost. Anyone done a HB without a pool? I guess you must have FourEyes! I'm not bothered about actually giving birth in the pool it would be more for labour and we have a bath so I'm wondering if that would help a bit if I needed it.

As far as doulas go, would anyone mind sharing the average cost for birth? Would love one as totally new to the birth thing and in different country to my mum so really think we'd benefit from experienced lady being present. Will have a bit of a battle with DH though as he doesn't know anything about doulas.

Hey ho. A lot to think about isn't there?! Hoping to get in to John Lewis today to get measured for a bra. Got email from Figleaves with 20% discount code valid till Monday if anyone's interested *TREAT20opeNope you all have a lovely Sunday!

Aargh end of post should have read discount code TREAT20 and hope you all have a lovely Sunday!

Blinking iPhone!

To 4madboys and the others asking about Asos. Well, I'm abroad so I haven't tested their free return service, however I am very happy with them. The parcels seem to always arrive ahead of schedule, they send useful emails to keep you up to date with the order and they do seem to listen to feedback as my big criticism of them was shipping fees and these have dropped by £3 to a very reasonable £5 since I started using them 6 months ago.

I started off with tops, then dresses and I ordered 3 pairs of maternity trousers in my last order and everything fits great (I'm not too strangely shaped though and I'm normally size 12-14). Their catwalk view is amazing for judging the fit and quality of the clothes. You can see how they move on the body, if pockets gape, if zips are visible, etc. That was the one thing that gave me the most confidence ordering from them.

I find I can't find trousers to fit me here (you'd think French women don't have hips, although I know it's not true ) so it's really a god send. If you buy the Asos brand the prices are quite reasonable (actually, even with shipping they are dirt cheap compared to France but of course in the UK clothes tend to be cheaper).

And that's the end of the commercial break!

We're having a quiet Sunday (no IL's yay!) so we're just waiting for the sun to more on to the balcony beforegoing outside for a snooze (or is that just me?)

Oh yes, forgot to say thanks to Loopy for the IM advice. The system isn't quite the some here but its given me a lot of food for thought and I'm going to be asking a lot of questions of my midwife to find out the postnatal support possibilities.

Another fan of Asos here, customer service good and things sent quickly, returns very easy.

I am currently pondering this thinking I can dress it up for a wedding or down with denim jacket for summer. Would want a lot of use for that price!

So sorry to hear your news Babybecks. Good luck in the future, and hope you've got a plenty of support.

umf - I think mine felt more squirmy and fishy, but I like bee in a matchbox.

Having read all your glowing endorsements, I just went and spent £112 in ASOS. Oops. Lovely stuff, I agree.

Libra - I think that dress is fantastic, and had I not just blown too much cash I'd be tempted myself.

Managed not to be sick this morning, so feeling good.

Only two days until the scan...

Oooh, love the dress libra, am also looking for wedding outfit, as is Gaga82, we may all end up in the same dress! (although sadly at 5ft 1ish not sure I can pull off a maxi dress ) Do post if you find any others for me to steal!

At the moment I'm just considering getting this It's not even maternity but I've got a few baby ceylon tops and know they have a lot of give, it would need a bit of dressing up though.

Struggling with maternity wear here. I like wearing dresses, but why are they all so short?? Surely most pg women aren't size 10/12 with perfect knees and thighs. Maxi dresses wonderful but not for everyday wear. Humph.

Thanks so much for the birth pool/doula/IM information Loopy, really helpful. Particularly about the birth pool in a box - I wasn't aware of those. Interested to know how do you keep it warm? Is it a matter of periodically taking out some water and adding in more hot water? If the one you have is still available would be great to know the model details.

Completely useless trip to John Lewis for bra fitting. I made the mistake of saying that I was pregnant (sotto voce I might add) and the lady insisted I couldn't wear underwired bras as a result - loudly mentioning "maternity" bras. Thanks for the discretion. She didn't even measure my cup size, just the back measurement. She confirmed that I'm still a 30 back, but said she would put me in a 32 so that I had room to expand and just brought a hideous 32DD bra in for me to try (previous size was 30DD so I guess I've effectively gone up 1 cup size?). When that fitted OK she was done as far as she was concerned. I did try to say that I'd heard underwired bras were now thought to be OK as long as the wire sat under the breast blah blah blah but she was having none of it so I just mumbled something about looking around and left. Not even sure now what my bloody size is (it is right that I should be buying a back size bigger than I currently am??). Stuffedmk would welcome your professional advice!

Gah! Frustrating to say the least. Think I will forget about bras for another couple of weeks and try again, maybe in House of Fraser or something next time.... and I certainly won't be saying that I'm pregnant!

For those of you being bossed around by bra-fitters, don't take the crap!

It's your body, and the underwire thing is not enshrined in law fgs.

If an assistant actually refused to sell me a certain bra, I would calmly insist on speaking to the manager and stand my ground until they stopped being ridiculous.

I am quite arsey though.

What on earth is all this underwired thing? I've not heard anything about it and no-one here seems to mention it. Why are underwires so evil? I'm still wearing mine...

Hmm & Libra: Lovely dresses I do agree with you Umf, I bought one that I will most probably end up wearing as a tunic over trousers. I did get this dress which is a nice length and very flattering to my wind and gas half formed curves.

to Boo I never dare go on the site "just for a look", I always end up spending loads (but I need to justify the shipping cost... )

Fenouille - it's pretty hard to resist, isn't it? Most maternity clothes are so hideous.

Following on from my earlier rant, here's a link to a relevant thread.

It's a discussion about women's rights over their own bodies during pregnancy.

My feminism gets pretty millitant when I'm up the duff, I think.

Boo Tell me about it. Everyone here (in RL) keeps raving about H&M. I spent 2 minutes in the maternity section before leaving in despair. I guess I'm not the only one on the thread who needs to look smart for work? How are leggings and cargo pants going to help?

I also read that thread with considerable interest. I'm pretty clear where I stand on the issue but it was very interesting to hear about abusive expectant fathers trying to control the expectant mother and the discussions surrounding state intervention. A pg friend here (France) got refused service in a bar while trying to buy a beer for her DP. She thought it was great (although she's not French and is normally quite a feminist) - I would have gone ballistic.

Well I do agree with you about women's rights over their bodies, but what about the baby's rights? I'm not talking about things like the odd beer, but last night I was standing in a queue for a couple of hours (waiting to get in to the audience for Over the Rainbow ) and there were 3 pg women near me (in 2 groups, so not all friends); all smoked several cigarettes while we were there. I tried not to let on what I was feeling, but it did wind me up a bit.

Lorelai (nice name by the way!) Not wanting to rehash the other thread I agree that a pg woman morally should have some responsibility towards the fetus she is carrying (but you can't force her to). Every expectant mother will probably draw her own line in the sand as to how she treats herself, her fetus and the expectant father's wishes. You may not agree with her choices but it really isn't something that needs legislating for in my opinion.

We can go and wake up the other thread if you'd like?

Oh, and just to add, here in France there are those blasted pg-woman-with-red-line-through-her signs everywhere, but I have yet to see anything in the bumpf I've been given regarding smoking during pregnancy

Fenouille that's a lovely dress, even covers arms. Useful to know that it's actually a sensible length although looks short on the giraffe model.

Militantly feminist here too. Foetal rights a dangerous route to go down. (But definitely enjoy a bit of moral outrage when see smoking pgs or indeed parents.)

Also planning for homebirth here. Not from any great philosophical attachment to the idea, but since it seems to be the only way to get 1:1 care during labour. Balance of power rather different in one's own home too. Also I found the journey to hospital in a taxi devastating for morale last time. We live v near a hospital now so not far to go if necessary. It's been nice to chat to my grandmothers, who of course had theirs at home and are entirely supportive of the idea. They're from a generation much less aware of and focused on the potential problems in pg and birth, too.

Oh, I don't really want to get into a big discussion about it either - too tired! But basically I agree with you too. Just couldn't believe there were so many pg women smoking around me last night - haven't really come across that before.

Afternoon all,

Starting to panic now, have gont scan tomorrow morning followed by bloods.

DP can't make it, as he's going into hosp tomorrow for an op and needs to finish up at work as he'll be off for a couple of weeks.

Am dreading the inevitable delay and getting another sniffy sonographer who believes that fat people shouldn't get pg and get scans (can you tell my last scan with dd2 didn't go well ).

I just wish it was 24 hours from now...