to try or not to try on the wagon that is the question

[tinkstoddleriswalking]

hi ladies here is our new thread

Hi
just a quick one to Ses. I'm sorry you've had to go through that re work. I know what tightrope walk it is adapting to be a working parent and that sort of conversation must have made you feel v unsetttled. I am very that they let you go back 4 days a week and are now expressig concerns about you not being around on days off. Hope you are ok after all that. Did they agree about your drop off restrictions re time of arrival on site?
Could your DH do some drop offs so you can be in early some days? DH and I split the nursery runs 50:50 and there is now way it could be any other way. If I did both I'd only do a 6hr day! Anyway, just wanted to offer support.
Please remember that you are doing a fabulous job at working and being a brilliant mum to O and managing to have a packed agenda for your days off. I hope you are taking time to look after yourself as well though.
Hi to everyone else. X

Just a quick one before bed. Agree with GIRAFFE totally SES - that must have been very unsettling re: work situation. I too am that this has been presented as somehow down to you, after they agreed the 4 day change. Just to clarify, are you working compressed hours, or are you getting paid for 4 days? Echo what GIRAFFE says about nursery drop-offs and your dh, if that's feasible? Ditto we share, though usually I'm out before the rest of them are even up! Glad at least that you got it out in the open - how was it all left? Your Easter sounds lovely btw, just tough you had that to return to!
Hi TINKS, great weather for the zoo today!
Well ds really suffering with teeth. He's been pulling his left ear, in addition to all other usual teething symptoms which I was a little concerned about at first (ear infection?) though read it could be sign of teeth coming through too on that side...symptoms eased with teething gel, though only for about 15 mins. Really hope we get more sleep tonight, though not hopeful! Never had this with dds...supposed I'm owed it

Thanks Giraffe & Diege for your advice and support.

To complicate things further, pre my ML Tina was doing John's job and was my boss and agreed my return to work on 4days herself!
I was sort of getting the feeling that she wasn't happy at having to change her job and maybe wasn't performing great in her role and was going to use the fact that I'm "only p/t" as mitigation.
I always worked really well with her before so am a bit
We never discussed timings before I came back as it's the sort of job where you do what's needed to get the job done. On Friday I explained that I drop off at nursery around 7.45 to 8.00 and then I aim to be back to pick up for 6.15. It was agreed that an hour's commute in my own time was reasonable and any journey longer than that would eat into the working day.

I also said I'd spoken with DH about the fact that sometimes I'd need him to pick up. He works based at Heathrow and normally has to be there by 8am so not feasible for him to do mornings. DH and I have decided to get a second car seat to keep at mum's. She's only a 10-15min drive from nursery but doesn't want to routinely look after O or do nursery run. At least in an emergency she then could or DH or my cousin could pick the car seat up on their way through.

Also, yes I am doing the same workload that I used to f/t spread over my p/t (equivalent of 4 days) hrs for p/t pay. Seems wrong but I do value my Wednesday with O.

It's been left that it was good to talk things through and we'll keep talking. Also there's another girl due back from ML in a couple of weeks doing the same job 4 days in a different area. Both Tina & John said it would be good to see how things work for her. To me that doesn't help as her circumstances are a bit different in that her DD is being looked after by family so no restriction on nursery drop offs and she lives within the area she'll be covering! Also makes me v competitive re business results as I feel they'll be directly comparing us!

Sorry for lengthy post about me. It does help to get it all down!

Finally, Giraffe - am I right in thinking you have a kiddy car seat? That's the one we're thinking of getting as our second. I just don't know how easy it would be to get O in it as he still hates sitting still!

Morning Ses and Diege

How is O's eye today Ses?

That does sound like a complicated sitution. I really think they need to give you some allowance for doing only 4 days. I'd imagine its very hard for you to cover as much as you did pre O over 5 days. I'd be tempted to involved HR in this. They cant expect the same work for 80% pay. That isnt on. If they paid you 100% it is a different matter.

Working for another parent usually is very positive as they understand it when you have to rush off for a sick baby etc... Fingers crossed she isnt using your parttimeness as a scapegoat for her own frustrations

I have to say (i am speaking out of turn I know) but it sounds like your DH has got a very good deal regarding the nursery runs. Doing both ends of the days and effectively working full time is huge load for you, especially if you have to deal with feeling having to leave O crying too. That bit is hugely draining. I know I wouldnt have stayed afloat if it was me doing it in the those few days when SG was so upset going to the new room (she is fine now thank goodness).

Is there any way he could arrange 1 day a week where he goes in later/ works later? I know that the M25 on that route is rubbish- but is much better after 9am generally. At least that would give you slack to get somewhere early and it shows some compromise with work. It doesnt seem fair that your job/ stress levels do all the suffering.

I guess it is still early days so maybe work still need to get used to the arrangements.

Diege- I've got a great scone recipe I will post! Scones were my early pregnancy food staple so I used to make LOADS!
How is DS's ear/tooth today?

Diege-
Scones, plain ones- I dont do dried fruit, but I guess you just chuck them in before the milk.

8oz self raising flour
1/2 teaspoon of baking powder
2oz butter
1 oz sugar
120ml milk or thereabouts

rub butter into sieved flour and baking powder. Stir in sugar. Add milk until soft dough. Roll out to min of 2cm high.
You can brush with beaten egg if you can be arsed fancy it.

Need about 12 to 15mins in hot oven (not sure of gas but about 190 in a fan oven.

I admit to eating the raw mix a lot when pregnant... since it doesnt have any raw egg in it. At one point I half expected DD to come out scone shaped!

I meant to post that I have a day off tomorrow- I am very excited. I am going to pretend to be a SAHM for the day . I am getting the SG weighed in the morning then meeting Gruff and the cub in the afternoon for a coffee.
YAY!!!

Hello! Not too bad a night last night - finally settled J at 11am and he woke crying at just after 6am, so not too bad. We have been spoiled with the usual 7-6.30 . Def the teeth thankfully - getting his 3rd bottom one, and 2 big fangs emerging on each side at the top. Teething gel is working well though, and just bought some more infant paracetemol. Better prepared for tonight!
SES, I have to say (and just tell me to back off if you like, just worried about you) I too think you're doing a real lion's share of the drop-offs/pick ups. I know nothing of your situation, but echo GIRAFFE in thinking that maybe your dh could try and do more pick-ups? (sorry, maybe I misunderstood and he's doing these anyway, and it's just the drop-offs that become a problem?) I would also have a word with HR - it does sound a bit dodgy that, working same job, shorter hours but lesser pay.. I know that when this is the case it's usually called 'compressed hours', and you get the full-time pay...I also think there may unfortuantely be a scapegoat thing going on with 'Tina'...clever of them to place the focus on you and newly returning mum, and away from their borderline illegal, if not illegal practices...please please check with HR here and make sure they're not taking you for a ride re: pay. Sounds to me like they're having their cake AND eating it.

Thanks for scone recipe GIRAFFE! It's very similar to mine but I don't have the baking powder - maybe that's why mine don't rise so well? Also contemplating adding an egg...do you think that would make a difference?
Enjoy your day off tomorrow - sounds lovely
Had fun yesterday with my friends' visit. They loved the house and were very impressed with my 'laid back' parenting ... Now laid back I'm not (I don't think) me and my routines, but was pleased I come across like that even if I'm hiding the gf book behind my back
Enjoying the sun today - ds asleep, dh out with dds on a picnic. Really wish it was a bh tomorrow!!!

Thanks again guys.
DH and I did discuss nursery run before I went back to work. It is v out of his way and difficult timings wise but he does sometimes finish a bit early on a Friday so he could pick up then. I'm also v lucky that he does get O dressed and changed most mornings. I think when we get the 2nd car seat it will give us more flexibility and I can ask DH again to help out a bit more.

The situation of doing the same job in just 4 days is complicated too. In principle, the role I do is as accountable pharmacist for the 19 shops, spending 3 days doing meetings, store visits, etc and 2 days working as a pharmacist somewhere. When I first discussed my return, I asked for 3 days and suggested someone else could cover the 2 days as a pharmacist. Tina actually agreed to this but 2 days later phoned me and said I'd need to do 4 days as it had been deemed that I couldn't be the accountable pharmacist in any less time.
The issue now is that even f/t people in a similar role, don't work as a pharmacist regularly 1 or 2 days a week as the job is too big! On paper though my reason for requesting p/t hours is justified by the fact the main function is done over 3 days!

Follow all that if you can!

Right, enough about me!

Giraffe - enjoy your day tomorrow. If the weather stays nice I'm sure it'll be even better. How lovely to be able to meet up with Gruff and GC
O's eyes are still v gunky. I'm persisting with the drops and hope it starts to clear up soon.
I might have to try your scone recipe!

Diege - glad your night wasn't too bad. Teething can be awful. Hope he doesn't have to suffer for long.
I'm with you on wishing it was a BH tomorrow!
Sounds like you had a lovely day yesterday and of course you're a chilled out mum! (I'm sure GF would approve!)

Hi all,

sorry I haven't been around for a few days - we ended up going up north to visit my dad and the in-laws. We had a great time. DP took DD to his parents on Saturday morning and left me at the Metro Centre to do some shopping - I spent a fortune in H&M, New Look and Blacks (strange choice but they had some lovely bright fitted T-shirts) and . I really enjoyed having a morning to myself and feel less of a frumpy mum in my new clothes. We then saw my dad for the afternoon then he babysat so we could go out for a drink with SIL. DD's sleeping has been much better too . The night after she slept through she woke about 5 times but went back to sleep when we went in (like she was just checking ) but since then she has slept 8-6, just waking once at 4.30 each night - I just go in and put her dummy in and say shh and she goes straight back off. It's amazing!!!

Ses - sorry you are having a rough time at work but it sounds like these meetings are a good idea. It's easy for her to say she has concerns about your hours but these discussions make it clear to your boss in particular that there is no real basis for her moaning. She sounds like a real pain!

Diege - poor DS , hope the teeth pop through soon and you can all catch up on some sleep.

Nat - hope you found some samples/pics for your assignment

Gruff and Giraffe - enjoy your meet up .

evening

dige - glad u got more sleep teething is horrid!! i am sure bracken must get some more soon has been a while!!

ses - work sit very tricky you must be very tired doing all of that!!

hi rugby your weekend sounds good

dhs sis went @ 11am i have been sorting out garage took bits to tip and selling bits in paper

evening all,had a good dAY shopping yesterday with my mum, and strngely enough a bbq last night :D
managed to get DS some lovely things from next.
then was out today too.
DS is still ill so off work tomor,as his nann is ill too so cnt have him and others are working, and others i wudnt leave him with when hes not 100% so they will just have to manage without me.
hope everyone is well caught up but forgot everything. sorry.
hope everyone is well.

morning

max - sounds like u had a great sun
i have got girls some great things for summer from next

having a quiet day here today
sunny out again

have just ordered shoes to collect in next for dd1 on sat
for summer shoes

Morning! Had another lift in to work, rather than train-ing it, so in office at 8.50...think my colleagues are in shock
Not such a bad night last night. Ds settled at 6.30pm, but then woke at 4am screaming in pain. The teething gel settled him (though he really hates having it applied, shaking his head vigourously so that I just have to sort of shove a finger in with gel on and hope for the best). I couldn't get back to sleep though which was a pain..
SES, think I just about understand the work situation (after 2 reads ). Still not sure why you don't get the same pay though if you're doing the same job, with same expectations of role as before? having said that, when I reduced hrs my job pretty much stayed the same, although 'on paper' I should do less, which I suppose is where the situation differs with your's, that they expect you do be doing the same and are quite open about it...arghhh, confusing myself again. Maybe a quiet word in the ear of the union rep, just for 'clarification' purposes might help?
TINKS Next shop sounds good...no sun here today! Very cloudy and cold
MMM poor ds and poor you! It's really hard when they're ill and you're working. Hope you're ok x
RUGBY, your morning shopping sounds blissful! Know what you mean about avoiding the frump-factor, and glad you have!
Well have started to get cold feet about ttc-ing...Purely because of the sickness thing and my quite heavy work schedule at present...may postpone until next month, and then have a break till August (so just day 8 and day 10 gof thhis month, which should be safe with my cycle). Having said that, everything seems more scary when you're lying awake at night, and there is no 'right time' as such when you're on the egg-turn like me
Right, better go...colleagues very confused now by my typing at such an early hour...

Morning Ladies.

Diege- lift sounds great. Must feel like a real treat. Hope you resolve your TTC plans, sounds like you have done more or less. Its just about timing in the next few months by the sounds of it. Do you get sickness the same every time?

Ses- I also admit to reading your work situation a couple of times. It does sound complicated I agree with Diege's suggestions. Hope you are feeling ok about it all.

How are your DH's burns btw?

Hi Tink

Day off here- I've just got back from taking the SG to be weighed as I wanted to mark the 12month mark in her red book. She was only 21bs 8oz. I thought she was way heavier ! The wt gain really slows down at this age. She was 75cm- all 50th centile.

How was everyone's weekend?

Hello... Haven't managed to catch up on the last couple of weeks since my last post. Can anyone give me a summary?

DH is back at work tomorrow after his 12 days off so I'm not looking forward to then having the DC's all on my own for the next week!

DH has taken DS & DD1 to the pics this morning, so I'm on my own with DD2.

The builders were in doing the dining room floor mid-week. Spent last weekend with our friends... Surrogacy didn't come up... But I now wish it had! They're staying over in a few weeks so I think we'll talk to them about it then.

Right going to attempt to catch up a bit!

Hi Cant- not much has happened to really report on majorly.

Week with DH sounds good.

ignore my last post

meant clarks

you can chose which shoes online you want to try on in the shop in there size then go into the shop try them all in and buy ones you want.
prefer to do that encase they dont have them in the shop in the styles i want

hi diege and cant
anf giraffe

was just on live justin chat great dd1 luved it

Afternoon! Finished all my work, so having a little break
Yes, thought it might be Clark's TINKS
GIRAFFE, sounds like a nice morning! Did you say you were meeting GRUFF this afternoon?
Oh and on sickness front, while I had a respite with dd2, I was diagnosed with full blown hyperemesis with dd1, 2, and ds. In fact it seems to have got worse each time, so really is a consideration this time round sadly Am feeling my prepaprations for so-called 'no.5' may well be a bit premature - just had an e-mail from what's his name's secreatry (Prof. Kypros Nicolaides?)asking me when I wanted to schedule my appointment for my nuchal (not that I'm even sure I'd have one...but good to get my options sorted )
CANT, great to hear from you! Hope the dining room goes well (was it the floor you were having done?) and good luck on the surrogacy front. I think that fact you are having regrets not mentioning it means that you're happy about it coming up as a topic of conversation in a few weeks time.
Right, better go and push some papers around. Thing with this lift business is that I am very much tied to my colleagues timetable...she is new and wants to please, hence a late finish - moan, moan..

diege - you are doing well

Thanks TINKS . Just got home and ready to leave to pick up dd3 and ds from nursery...ready for the second shift as they say...
Back later hopefully!

thoughts ladies?

getting dd1 school shoes plus was thinking of the following :-

www.clarks.co.uk/find/department-is-kids/producttype-is-sandals/size-is-_7infant/product-is-20324694

and

www.clarks.co.uk/find/keyword-is-cica+bugglies+trainers/product-is-20338857?redirected=true

as she is @ school these shuld be sufficent

Morning all.

Woken up with the mother of all headaches! Luckily DH brought the pain killers in before he left for work... What a day for me to be on my own with all 3 though!!! Hoping to let them loose in the garden once I manage to drag myself outta bed!

Diege- wuhoo for ttc no5! And yeah, I'm feeling I'm defo ready for it to come u with them! I've worked out expences with DH, worked out how I'd like to talk to them about it... Even decided that as I'm offering urely as a friend I wouldn't be too gutted if they said no. However I really would like to help them. I'd like to wait till DD1 was finished at nursery before we started anything so I can either slob about and let the kids run riot in the garden during summer or so I only have school runs come sept. DD2 will just be my priority during the day then if I were to be sick... God, I'm over-thinking it again!

Right the DC's are making too much noise so I'm gonna try and make a move on shifting outta bed!

morning

if i dont go for above i would get :-

www.clarks.co.uk/find/productfamily-is-doodles/product-is-20324509

and

www.clarks.co.uk/find/productfamily-is-doodles/product-is-20339599

i do luv clarks trainers
dd1 has had doodle trainers and shoes before shoes leave marks and found trainer tounge kept slipping

thoughts [hmmm]

cant - poor u
it is the worst thing waking up with a headache ihad one nearly all yest and i still have a sore throat
hope headache clears soon!!!

my mum is over today
then taking dd1 back she is going to stay over till thursday eve