Vix: your story brought tears to my eyes, due to the emotions and pain you have felt.
I am definitely pro choice, though I ponder whether I am for or against limiting the reasons allowed or shortening the timescales. I can see why people argue it should be for limited reasons such as rape or physiological medical reasons or mental health, but I can also see why bringing a child into the world into the lives of a parent or parents who are not going to cope for whatever reason (not ready, not able to support, too many other commitments such as other children or older family members to care for) is not the right thing to do. It's tough enough when you are well educated, well paid and with a decent support network around you.
As for the timing of abortion, I am under the impression that it gets harder as the foetus gets bigger and as viability approaches - both to do and to make the decision and to live with it afterwards. I would guess that a high proportion of abortions after the 20 week scan would be because of really serious problems which would cause viability issues for either the foetus or the mother. But one also has to ask is it any less valid to terminate for mental health or support reasons at 20 weeks than 12? Denial might well have delayed matters.
Personally I would struggle to make the decision to abort and am glad that so far I've never been in the situation of needing to consider it. Although I'm careful, the only way to guarantee not having an unplanned pregnancy is never to have sex - and even that is not a choice for some women.
The whole issue is not something that I have coherent views on - my gut reaction and my considered reaction on the needs of the entire involved group (parents, other siblings, other dependants and the foetus as a child) are at odds when I consider the various scenarios I can imagine. To me, it's not just one foetus to be affected but that extended group. There are tales of women aborting and not caring - not that I totally believe those hypothetical tales as I expect most care deep down and are trying to hide it, but if they were true, would it be good for a child to be parented by such an uncaring person? Those who think about it, found the decision tough, have my respect for trying to do their best for the entire group involved.
I too am proud of the way we're discussing difficult topics - and topics that because of our pregnancy hormones will tug at all our heartstrings.
On a lighter note, I haven't noticed softer skin, I have noticed runnier noses but I put that down to my son sharing the colds he gets at nursery. I have also noticed that cuts and grazes take a lot longer to heal. As for cravings, my son put me off chocolate in the pregnancy with him. So I am just happy that my daughter-to-be seems to like chocolate, especially ice cream!