Spring is sprung, the grass is ris, I wonder where my toenails is - Due June 2010

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Ok, here it is ladies. Nice new thread for us all to enjoy

Hi All,

Sorry just a quickie as dashing out for lunch.

Re nappy bins - i got one on the advise of a friend but never really took to it, the refills are just another thing to buy, they are pretty flimsy (ours broke after about a month) and who wants a room full of stinky nappies whether you can actually smell them or not?? Anyway i think the general consensus on here has been a thumbs down!

play - omg - poor you, what was his response?? they just don't get it sometimes do they?!

perkster - YUM and lol at you shaking in anticipation - i can totally relate to that but it does sometimes mean that one is never enough!!!

mampam hope you've got your laptop sorted - all i can suggest is off & on again - sorry!!!

latrucha hope you're feeling better - try not to feel guilty about dd (easier said than done i know!) but sometimes i think they don't always know the difference between a trip to the shops & a hugely expensive 'proper' trip somewhere!!

mmmm, lunch is calling, where has the sunshine gone though???

minimoonumbertwo - you are so right, and thankyou. I was just thinking D was having another really boring morning and that she wouldn't be tored this afternoon when she point blank screamed at the idea of going out and just wanted to pootle around the house and garden. I swear she spent 30 minutes at the sink washing her hands while I cleaned the bathroom. I had to tear her away from it and now she's conked out as if we'd just been to an amazing zoo, or something!

If I take DD to Matalan she thinks she's died and gone to heaven.

Filly- arghhhh. How annoying for you. That would really rankle with me too. One of the advantages, (and there are many disadvantages too) of living in the kind of society we do now is that people have a choice and they do what they need to do or what is best for them. I do have friends who cannot understand why I don't want to go back to work at all as I had a very interesting job, but I just don't (for complex reasons that make everything simple for me!). Some people just have so many hang-ups they can't help passing them on. You are very good to say she's a nice person really, but she doesn't sound very respectful or tactful.

Mampam - Any luck with your computer? When this happens to me, it's always either a lead I haven't spotted or I go to the window where it tells me what wireless connections are available, disconnect mine, get it to search again, reconnect mine and this usually does the trick. Oh! and I thought of this last night which will make you give a wry smile. When I changed midwives last pregnancy (due to moving). When my new midwife was taking my history, I mentioned the SPD (which my last midwife had taken very seriously and referred me for physio etc) she just said, 'Oh, that's so common and insignificant I'm not even going to write it on your notes'. This is the midwife who went on NOT to spot any of the complications I then had and she is my community midwife now. Thank god I am under consultant led care, with extra scans, or I would be very scared.

Perkster - sounds like a man who needs to be left in charge of the children while you go to a Spa to relax for the day to me.

Anyone got any thoughts on the virtues of video monitors? We're thinking of putting newborn down upstairs for naps a lot more than we did with DD. She mainly napped on us or next to us when tiny and we think we'll do it differently this time. DH is the world's most cautious Dad and thinks we should have said video monitor. Do you think they're worth it? He WILL be up and down the stairs constantly otherwise....

BTW good offers on video monitors at BOots and ARgos ATM. Online, anyway.

Well i made the mistake of weighing myself today - 2 & 1/2 stone on already with another 12 weeks to go where's the sobbing icon ? Thank goodness i'd already eaten my blueberry muffin otherwise it would have put me right off
Can we start a weight loss fitness group afterwards, I'm thinking September ?

...sigh....I knew my brain would catch up after I had hit post-message!

Meggy, I think there's a pretty clear consensus on nappy bins I would say that we bought a normal pedal-bin type nappy bin from mothercare 4.5 yrs ago for ds and its still going strong - it just takes a normal bin liner (or carrier bag!) and we bag up each disposable nappy in a nappy sack, chuck them in there and then empty it once or twice a day. Newborn baby nappies don't smell of much at all (esp if they are bf), so emptying more frequently doesn't really become an issue until you start weaning. At that point, we tend to chuck wet nappies (in sacks) in the bin and take poo-y nappies (in nappysacks) straight out to the wheelie...

Thanks for the support LaT and Playftse...looking back, it rankled for exactly that reason: that I didn't give any of my nct friends a hard time for choosing not to go back to work but felt that they were very quick to criticise me for doing so. Also, the MNer that CSWS was referring to could (amazingly) afford for both parents not to work and it was a bit irritating to be judged by people in that privileged position. It was also quite annoying to hear his dw tell my nanny that they couldn't 'afford' a 3rd dc (when she heard I was pg), since they both opted out of the workplace a long time ago whilst dh and I both work really long hours..... Oh dear...I really really need to move on...but yes, toxic friendships are definitely better 'parked'

I'm so sorry to hear about all these crappy mws. I went to the hospital for my 28 wk check yesterday and (upsettingly) didn't get to see the mw who had promised to see me for every visit...she'd booked me in specifically for her lists and has seen me the last 2 visits. Apparently she is the union steward and was dragged off to a full-time union job at very short notice due to a sudden death Anyway, the mw team at the hospital have promised to try to book me into someone else for the rest of my appts but I don't believe its going to happen. Having said that, I requested a consultant appt yesterday (a couple of my dr friends all suggested that after 2 very problematic, identical, births I should see someone) and they immediately agreed and made me an appointment for mid-April. So that was good...

Am very of your scone, perkster, think I might need to bake up another batch when we come back from our hols...

Playftse, what did you not-very-dh say when you explained your position? Can he not work in the UK for a bit whilst you've got a new baby and your dc to look after as well?

ME, I'm planning to take the DC's to Spain in September and be fed by MIL! But I'll join you in October. I don't want to stay a size 14 after this birth. I've always been 10-12 as a 'mature' adult (was thinner as teen / early twenty something). Mind you, I felt like this when I had DD, but I only got really round to it in the last six months before getting pg with this one.

Ok, ladies advice time. My friend who had her 2nd DC in the early hours of Sunday morning (all well and back at home) is tearing her hair out. Her DD1 has serious V&D - almost but not quite a hospital admission. She has DH, sis and mother locally but is there anything more I could do? I'm going past her house alter on and phoned to ask if I could drop milk, bread etc or anything else round but she said they were ok (I made it clear I wasn't thinking of staying for a second). I'll be up there tomorrow morning and Thursday morning too. Is there anything more I could do do you think?

I may just poke a supportive choccie bar through the letterbox.

LaT I think you should post a large scone w jam and clotted cream (along the lines of everyone's dream food of choice on here at the moment) - if your friend has a big enough letter box

Not-so-very dh knows that he crossed a line yesterday. Apparently he was just sounding me out, and was going to speak to his boss again about a permanent return home (rather than a temp return). He also mentioned that his boss was prepared to pay for a taxi to take me door to door to the office, so that I wouldn't need dh to return quite so soon (so soon, so soon, huh - I'm 26 wks today ). It's quite comical actually as I'm on the edges of zone 6, and to get a cab into central London I'd need to leave at about 5 in the morning!! He seemed to get the message loud and clear, so now I have to wait for the next instalment.

LT I've been thinking a little about things people can do to help (people are always offering to help once the twins arrive) and the things I think might be helpful but not too intrusive are:

Homemade ready meals - portions of curry/chilli in plastic (so microwaveable) takeaway containers(so they can throw them away and now worry about washing and returning). And if they already have plans for dinner that night they can lob them in the freezer. Food that can be eaten with a fork only whilst holding a crying baby is good (so spaghetti is out)

Washing - can you take away a bag of dirty washing, such as soiled vests and sheets, and put them through your washing machine and tumble drier and return to her tomorrow/thursday. Or if the baby is voming over her, she may be running low on clothes for herself - she may appreciate if you can lend her a pair of trousers (my post labour wardrobe was very limited and if one of my two pairs of trousers got soiled I had to wash them asap!)

These are the two things I think I will get people to help with if they offer help later this year. In fact I'm already warning people when they come to visit post labour they are expected to take a bag of washing away with them!

LaT you are such a lovely friend, loving gibbering suggestions, esp for 'ready meals' - how briliant not to have to think about food but not resort to takeaways & toast!

filly i totally forgot to comment on your toxic friendship! sorry you probably really want to move on now, but just to add my two penneth I think that's so awful, the only thing i can think in her defence is that perhaps she felt like you had really bonded and was upset to think she wouldn't see you as much and that was how she expressed it. Not excusing her though and i'm afraid i'd find it hard to have any sympathy for anyone who can afford to have neither parent working!!! Oh this mummy world is a funny one. My SIL when she was pregnant and trying to decide what she would do about going back to work etc and said something along the lines of "oh if only I just did a easy meaningless job like yours it would be so much easier" and likened what i do to stacking shelves in Asda (apologies to any shelf stackers out there!!) . Families are great aren't they???!

Thanks CSWS Yes, we could definitely see ourselves living in Devon and liked pretty much all the areas we looked at. So its just a case of having this baby and then finding a house now - simples!

LaTrucha I think I would leave a bag of groceries with a card on your friend's doorstep if you're passing - non-perishable things so they can be left on the doorstep until she finds them, but stuff she can prepare and eat quickly maybe some nice crackers, nuts, fruits etc and definitely some chocolate! Or go with GibberingGinger's suggestions and cook something for them, I have done this for friends with a new baby before and its always been gratefully received.

I'm exhausted this evening after a very long morning at the hospital. Had a scan which was great, saw some really beautiful views of the baby who was looking very chilled and was happily swallowing amniotic fluid. Also had my meds increased - I'm starting to feel as though I rattle as I move!

filly - am at the things that D has said to you (I know her too through G). I just can't imagine her showing such lack of understanding of others' situations, and to criticise you for going back to work when she did herself go back pt (unless I've imagined that) is just . They haven't both totally opted out of the workplace though have they - G has/is in process of setting up his photography business, although I'm not sure whether that is on hold due to plans to flee the country or not (do you know whether they are planning on moving to SD permanently or not now?)

Am surprised at your and playftse's nct group experiences. I was the only one in my nct group not to go back to work!

No strong feelings on video monitors here LaT. I thought that they were probably an unnecessary gimmick when I had dd, and being in their infancy I didn't think that they would work as well signal wise as a non-video one, but I don't know anyone with one to have actually seen them working.

mampam - have you managed to get your laptop working again?

perkster - you don't need a book just in case you have a fractious baby. If you do have one, you will get far more helpful and tailored advice on MN than you will from a book.

After an almost 5 hour round trip oop north to look at it today, we have bought a car - hurrah! Dh will be going back up there on Friday to pick it up.

Aghh - just caught up on 2 pages of postings and not sure I can remember everything now.

Csws congrats on car purchase!! Am very, very jealous....

filly am shocked at the said Toxic friend's reaction to your returning to work. You are right to feel angry and hurt.
I also went back to work full-time when DD as 8.5 months old, and am still very close to my NCT chums despite this. I would actually say of the ones who didn't go back at all, they are a teensy bit jealous. I would go as far to suggest that ToxicD is harbouring insecurities of her own through not returning to work. You shouldn't let it eat you up though. Clearly you are doing a brilliant job of being a working mum. It's a tough balance to strike indeed.

mampam at your MW experience. I must admit, I never see the same MW twice at my hospital which is good and bad I guess.

LaT my neighbour bought a super-smart video monitor, but found the battery runs down really, really quickly as the video sucks so much power out. Sorry you are feeling so grim, perpetual sickness is really rotten you poor thing.

Blardy hell - am watching OneBornEveryMinute and there are twins on there born at 23 weeks, sadly only one survived. Absolutely tiny.

Had my 26 week appt and scan today - all good. The twins are both a really good size, and apparently weigh a smidgen under 2lbs each already. Pleased they are both growing at same rate .

and both are currently head down (stay there babies, stay!)

Too many posts to respond to but have read all

Been for delayed 28 week bloods and anti D today. Both really hurt! Have felt generally grotty and sick all day, and ended up collecting ds early from school so I could park right outide and not have to walk. Thought I was going to flake out!

Had a quick shufty at my big hospital notes- as there is lots of work going on I had to carry them from reception to clinic myself My notes are, as you might expect, epic

Anyway bereavement support midwife has put a letter at front re situation last week, but I felt a bit disappointed as she said repeatedly I am frightened, anxious, upset etc etc. Really I feel I am more stressed and frustrated, don't really care for her making me out to be unreasonably neurotic- especially as I have actually lost a baby and had 2 very scary bleeds subsequently. Anyway....

Oh DH does not like my girl's name

Right off to try and rid self of heartburn!

Morning, had a terrible night! Discovered on way to bed that the childrens' parents evenings, which I was convinced were tonight, were actually last night and I had missed them! I cried inconsolably for about an hour and DH was most alarmed. I have no idea what convinced me as it said Tues 23rd about 4 times on the letter, yet I have got a babysitter, cancelled plans and ensured DH home early from work tonight also told loads of people at school "oh ours is wed". I am hoping that there are some appointments tonight as well, even if they can't fit us in, just so I am not totally losing it. Feel very crap

Got to now do school run and speak to both teachers, who will no doubt think I am a twat!

Saucepanman - I'm sure any teachers who want to speak to you will be delighted to do so on an adhoc basis, and any teachers you want to speak to should aswell. I'd have done this happily. I found teachers usually like giving feeback on pupils, whether a straight A student, a fiend or a struggler.

Thanks all for the supportive comments regarding toxicD (like the moniker, MonkeyMargot!), and yes, there's probably something in what you've said regarding insecurity etc. Its just that I've never 'got' that whole thing of putting other people down to make myself feel better . Anyway, tempus mutator and all that

(Oh but I do have to say, CSWS, that the photography business has been 'being set up' for about 4.5 years and he hasn't worked for a lot longer...he made lots of money during the tech boom, stopped working and doesn't want/need to be employed again. I think D dropped her pt teaching post because she found it hard working for a relatively low, not needed salary when he was at home having fun with their DD, which I totally understand: its an unusual position to be in. Not sure about SD - they spent 4 months there a couple of years ago but then came back to the UK to have DD2; I haven't seen them for about 18 months, so no idea if thats back on the cards!)

Sounds like you had a really crap day, saucepanman, hopefully things are looking up after a nights sleep? I'll second what LaT said - any decent teacher will totally understand and will give you feedback outside the parents evening structure.

We're off on holiday in the morning and I've got to get us all packed...I don't have a swimming costume and neither Jojomaman nor Mamas&Papas had one in my size, so I'm going to head off to john lewis and mothercare now in the hope of finding something- apparently the 'summer' stuff isnt in the shops yet, which isn't wildly helpful!! I'll be back in just under 2 weeks, so please don't go changing threads whilst I'm gone or I'll never find you all ...

...oh, and please can someone say hi to gizmo for me if she makes it back onto this thread before I do?! She's been gone for aaaaaaages.....

Hope you all have lovely easter weekends and enjoy the chocolate

Filly - I got a great maternity swimming costume from next so you could give them a try.
Saucepanman at least you can use the "I am so sorry my brain has been eaten by pregnancy" excuse for forgetting. I have managed to get away with reversing my car into an other car twice with that .
Mokeymargot great news that your twins are doing well. Am going to watch One born every minute tonight, apparently all the babies born in that episode are younger than mine is now which is quite wierd. Cant wait to see it.
LaT - definately like the food idea, cooking is the one thing I am always glad not too do even without a good reason. On the subject of kids and shopping, my nieces (5 & 2) particularily like ikea and b&q as there are lots of places to run and hide, rather stressful for me tho!

Have been reading the thread but have had very little to contribute as things very quiet here. Got 28week scan next week and midwife appt which I'm counting the days down til. I feel like I haven't seen any health professional in ages. Though with some of the experiences that you all have been having that is possibly a good thing!

Watched One Born Every Minute last night (all about babies in neonatal/SCBU) and am now completely bricking it that the babies might arrive early. Is very unlikely as noone in my family (me/mum/sister) seems to go premature, in fact we are all induced at 42 weeks. But take heop from the fact that babies are now 27wks so no nearly so tiny as the 23wk baby in the programme.

CSWS, congrats on the new car.
Filly, have a great holiday
Has anyone else got plans for Easter? My brother and (very strange) sister in law are coming to stay for the weekend which turns out to be Wed-Mon so will have a full on time entertaining them (they are quite hard work)

Congrats on the positive scan MonkeyMargot - all v good news, both a similar size and both head down. I'm amazed at how much twins can turn around (sending you lots of headdown positive thoughts). Mine (at the last check) are still yinging and yanging, but the one that was head down is now up and vice versa...

I started to watch the One Born... programme last night after everyone on here had been discussing it. Ended up in tears at the triplets, only watched about 20 mins, it was just too heart wrenching. I count myself fortunate for every extra day that passes and I get closer to my full term date.......

Good luck Gibbering Ginger with your Easter visitors - I hope that they don't expect to be waited on. Are they normally helpful, or could they be cajoled into helping? I think house guests would just about finish me off right now.

Just got off Skype w dh - to try to ram home a point I gave him a side-on flash of my belly - I am now in roll-top jersey trousers as everything else is too uncomfortable and it does look like I have a fully inflated beach ball up there. Think I scared him a bit ha ha ha

Ha Ha play at the beach ball belly. I caught sight of my profile in the mirror at the swimming pool and all of a sudden understood the strange looks people have been giving me! I only ever look at myself front on, so the profile gave me a huge shock!

Went to physio for pelvic pain yesterday and was sitting next to a lady who is due the same week as me and she's only got half my bump! Feeling v sorry for myself, as pelvic pain is worse since trying to do exercises to make it better. Can't roll over in bed and struggle to sit up... and gravity is having a horrible effect on my insides. Did anyone know you can get variocose veins on your vulva?! I didn't... can't pluck up the courage to look and check whether that's what the nasty feeling is. Will get MW to look next time I see her ...

Saucepanman I feel for you and you parent's evening disaster. That's the type of thing that happens to me these days. Hope the teachers are kind to you today.

mampam I'm very confused by your self image. Your photo is nothing like the way you portray yourself on MN... and how can you STILL be in any normal clothes? Even my maternity clothes from last time are getting too small for me. I'm going to have to return two tops to Mothercare that I bought last week. My bump must be disproportionately big because they fit everywhere but the bump and with 10 weeks to go, I'm going to grow out of them before baby comes.

My actual weight gain is still fine, it's just all gone on my bump. I've my brother's wedding 8 weeks after baby is due, so I want to stay as slim as I can so I don't look like a weeble next to SIL-to-be as she's very tall and thin, and I'm not!

Have been working late so not able to read or post for a few days - too much to read but I've tried to skim as much as I can!

Perkster - nearly missed your reply! Brum is not so far from me, am just outside Daventry.
I empathise with the scones - I can't resist anything at present and mistakenly purchased the Hummingbird cake cookery book - it would be rude not to try out some of the recipes....

Saucepanman - When they see your bump, the teachers will be nice to you! I went to do my clinic at work last week - turned up an hour early. Even got grumpy with the admin and nursing staff when the patients weren't there "on time". Had to eat major humble pie and looked very stupid , but I'm told these scatty episodes are endearing!!!

I'm impressed that some of you actually weigh yourselves - I'm scared I'd break the scales and I definitely don't want to know how much I've gained. It all seems to be on the bump but boy what a bump - people seem horrified when I tell them I'm only 26 weeks. Definitely only one on the scan.

Evening ladies,i've only skim read again sorry my brain is barely working these days!

Filly have a great hol,we'll miss you!

Perkster i am Wolverhampton so could do Brum easily.

I only lasted 5 mins into One Born Every Minute last night,i couldnt handle it at all

alwayshopeful Varicose Veined Vulva just sounds hearbreakingly vile doesnt it? My MW asked me if i'd noticed any VV's in that area,i said i havent looked,i'm not sure i wantto know! I am still feeling saddlesore and sometimes only a very warm towel inbetween my legs eases the pain needless to say relations between DH and i are on the backburner,its not that i dont wantto,i really do,but it seems i am either in pain,knackered,or just feeling totally unsexy,where is the frustrated icon!!

Saucepanman - You must have felt awful but I'll bet that your dc's teachers were probably quite happy to have a few minutes free to breathe! Parents' evenings are crazy (and quite scary!) - no time to compose yourself or re-adjust between discussing one child and the next. You'll probably get a fresher teacher by arranging it at an alternative time anyway!

I'm feeling equally dippy. I had been guarding my MAT B1 with my life, I had even put it in a special silver envelope (), ready to give to the office at school today - but it has mysteriously vanished. I had to contact my m/w to get another one and she was very short with me. She of all people should understand pregnancy brain!

Have a fab holiday, Filly.