Are you on the wagon?

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Hope this is ok?

I have no idea. Most of me wants him to go as I'm not sure I'll be able to get over this.

I'm at work at 4 this evening. Though I have an hour of training at 11am. Must think about getting ready soon.

If you don't feel up for work then ring in sick, OTOH, it could be a welcome distraction?

I want to go to work. I need the distraction really.

I think he is going to leave on Thursday. I'm meant to be out Saturday night but I don't know now. H has said he'll come round and look after the boys.

How did you feel writing that, about him leaving on Thursday? What was the biggest feeling?

Arggghhhhhh, just rang the NDA about the course, it's going to take ages She said they'll send an email to confirm everything and then I'll get some forms, usually within a week, that I'll need to sign and send back.... a week?!!! I can't not sleep wait that long. Oh my giddy aunt, what am I going to do with myself?

Afternoon! KAYZ, some great advice there from NAT. I've not looked at your other thread but it does seem that a bit of space to think things throguh for both of you might be a good idea (though agree dh's mother might niot be the best place for him to stay, judging on her past form. There again, she may surprise you when he admits what he's done (if he does..). Keep talking, and agree with CANT, a rare (( )) is certainly needed from the wagon xx
NAT, a week is FAST trust me I'm sure it will drag but keep on at the e-mail person if it takes a minute longer
A bit manic and stressful at work, but will pop back on later x

good luck kayx hope work goes ok here if you need to talk

nat - u sound like me when i want something i want it right now

enjoyed swimming with bracken she loves it. it is freeezing out today but @ least sunny

off for food shop later

i hatew waiting too nat ordering boden bits tom wish i could now

His Mum has said that it was only text messages so he hasn't done anything wrong. His sister has said the same. Maybe they are right but if he can't come to me when he has a problem then is there a point in continuing??

No, his mum and sister are wrong. Don't you dare start to think it's somehow your fault for 'overreading' the situation KAYZ!

TINKS, what Boden bits are you getting tomorrow?

Diege is right of course, Kay, that is them (rightfully, in it's own way) backing their family up, they are bound to down play it. The point is, it doesn't matter what they say, it doesn't matter what anyone says, he is married to you, he sent these texts, and it's you that has to deal with it, not them, plus there is all the rest of it, this is a bigger picture than him sending some shitty texts, and quite frankly none of it has anything at all to do with your MIL/SIL, or anyone else.

Tinks, I am terrible for it, was supposed to be April I enroled, couldn't wait, and now waiting again for some sodding forms! And then again for something else no doubt, I might actually start by April at this rate! Am sure you will but have fun with Boden I am also waiting on DS1's trampoline being delivered and the text books I ordered, just nothing doing at the moment, all hurry up and wait!

You know a few weeks ago I would have loved to have given up my job but now I really want to stay. All of my friends are there. I have no idea if I'll be able to stay or not.

You don't need to make any rushed decisions.

It may be worth going to and seeing a solicitor, not for anything scary, just so you know your exact legal posistion, and also ringing about any extra money you can claim (even while DH is still living with you, you can make single claims, and it is worth doing, even if the plan is for you to get back on track eventually, while you are offically seperated you are entitled to a single claim.)

Am sure you know but most solicitors offer the first half hour for free.

bloody sil and mil it still isnt right even if by text like nat says they r backing him as family.
it must be horrid going through what u r going thoughx

diege - received red spotty coat for dd2 so cute and owl tshirt for dd1 lovely

tomorrow buying red spotty coat for dd1,denim rolled trousers,green butterfly tshirt,red star cardy for dd1 and blue star cardy for dd2

off to tesco soon

Quick post for Kay...

First off text messages like that with another woman are not right.

You sound v confused and I'm not suprised. FWIW, I think rather than trying to forgive/love him now, I think you need to think about whether you want to forgive/love him. If you're still not sure, do you want to want to forgive/love him IYKWIM. Sometimes that is a good starting point.

If you decide that you don't "want to want to", that may be a different matter.

Everyone's advice re seeing GP, investigating what counselling is accessible to you and taking advantage of half hour with solicitor all v good.

I'm so sorry you're going through this. Please be assured though there is nothing wrong with you. I hope that you can work this out to the best outcome (whatever that is) but take your time and don't rush any decisions. Take care and have a sneaky hug from me. xx

Kay - just read your other thread so sorry if my comments were not up-to-date.
Doing something is the most postive thing you can do. Letting the situation fester and be ignored would only have made it worse. The advice about RL support is v important too - build yourself a support network. Wishing you strength.

tink - Hope Tesco isn't too manic. Boden shopping sounds good.

Nat - your impatience is nearly as infectious as your excitement!

Hello Diege, Cant and anyone else lurking!

Work was ok today but I start to get quite anxious from about 4pm about getting back to pick O up, even though I know I normally can't leave work until 5pm at the earliest. O still v clingy but also full of cold which won't help. He's still sleeping in bed with me from about midnight onwards.

On the plus side with work, I met with my boss this afternoon and he is on hols next week and wants me to represent him at a regional pharmacy meeting in London for the whole of the south east. Great that he has so much confidence in me when he had 6 of us he could have chosen from!

I am so scared of him leaving. I just don't know what I will do. He'll probably find someone else in a few months and there I'll be home with the boys.

Hi guys, sorry, been busy and poorly all weekend, and consequently had loads to do today to try to catch up.

Kay, no point me repeating everyone else, I particularly like Ses' recent post though, and think you need to break it all down into bite size chunks. Most importantly, though, try not to rush or overthink things, and pop to see the GP, you never know what form help could take.

Have got a rice pudding in the oven - no idea if its going to be edible or not, but so far, it looks like its never going to cook!

Oh Kay! I know when I was with an ex, I was so worried that I'd end up alone and he'd soon be with someone else that I stayed in the relationship too long.
Breaking free is a scary step having been together for so long but these thoughts are not good reasons to stay together and won't teach DSs about good realtionships.
Much better that you come to realise that you want to be together or not for the right reasons.

Evening . KAYZ, SES is right, if you didn't feelo scared somethign would be wrong. You're feeling it because you are at a crossroads and whatever direction you turn the consequences will be immense. Remember, fear if momentary on the scale of things, but regret lasts forever, and that's why it's so important to give yourself some space to clear your head and decide what you truly want. We're all here for you whatever you decide to do.
SES that's great about your boss and the meeting I'm sure O is fine, though it's tough when they're feeling under the weather and clingy too.Hope you're getting all the rest you can - sounds like you have a busy time ahead.
LATOUR, good to hear from you and sorry for the poorlies! The wagon sick bay has been permanently open this winter!
TINKS, have got the owl t-shirt for dd1 and she adores it (looks good with the towelling shorts). I think I'll put another order in soon too. I've got lots of expenses this month with the decorating, but must make a token dent in their summer wardrobes!
Just been watching that thing of BBC that's on every day this week (5 days??) Very good indeed and looking forward to tomorrow night's episode.
Off to do bottles now and then bed. Working from home tomorrow so will be on a bit more.
Hope you get some rest KAYZ if you are lurking (( )) xxx

Morning everyone,

Tink, pleased your items arrived, now get shopping for more

Ses, sorry for O's cold, poor little thing, he had one not long didn't he? Is it his teeth do you think? (Mine always get a bit of a red bum and a bunged up nose when a tooth is coming in, even DS1 when a tooth falls out and the new ones growing in - not sure about the red bum with him, I stay as far away from that as possible! )

LaTour, good to see you, hope that rice pudding is cooked by now?!

Diege, (and Tink, might just start calling the pair of you the wagons shopaholics!) I need to get more in the way of summer stuff for these, it's tricky though, never know just how summery to go these days, year before last I had bought enough shorts and t-shirts for them all to last a week each (IYKWIM?!) and they hardly used any of them, and last year I bought them each just two pairs of shorts and as many as normal tshirts, there were a couple of weeks where I nearly went and bought more but again they barely used them. Also got so much going out this month, DS1's birthday, his party, the course, if they ever bloody give me a student number (I know, it's only been 2 and a bit days but I can still moan!) I'll be able to get the rest of the books and equipment I need), we're hopefully changing the car this weekend which will mean coughing up for the tax and extra insurance while it changes over, DH has his snip at the end of the month (hurrah!), looks like we're going to have to pay for my mum to come up on the coach at this rate so she can look after the boys while we're at the hospital, plus he'll lose a lot of money for having the time off.... God, sorry, that really was a moan!

And finally, Kay, I couldn't sleep last night again, but for thinking about you this time. I said it on the other thread but you have been amazing, you've tried to get over his betrayal, you've persevered more so than many would, you've done your best to keep the family together, and that is all that anyone can do. I know you are terrified right now, and the best thing to disperse at least some of that fear and dread is to arm yourself with clear cut, legal, and rightful facts, the sooner you feel up to being able to obtain the answers, the sooner you can stop being so scared of them. You are being so brave, Diege put it so well, the crossroads with everywhich way being a huge step, FWIW I think you have chosen the right 'path' for now, IF he made a huge attempt to put things right and you found you wanted to then there is nothing that can't be undone. Have you spoken about it with a RL friend or anything yet?

hope u r ok kay

hi nat diege and ses

in the way of summer bits nat - i have bought dd1 - 4 tshirts,3 pairs of trousers, one hooded zippy top,coat and 2 dresses and 2 pairs of leggings.
not getting short skirts or shorts never seems to wear them!!!
have just ordered other boden bits
all sorted for summer now

of to sing and sign

Morning! Off to get the train shortly to Sale for a meeting (that's not by you is it Nat, or am I thinking of Altrincham?)so just a quick one.
Re: clothes agree summer shopping is a nightmare. Year before last I made sure we had lots of long-sleeved jersey tops as well as Ts, but they never got worn, so last year went all out on the cropped trousers/t-shirt front and they complained they were cold...(they don't do cardis; well, only dd3). Will probably go 50/50 this year, no doubt we'll have a heatwave then . Where do you shop for boy's bits out of interest Nat? (clothes bits I should add - sounds a bit rude ).
Morning TINKS! I'll be ordering hooded star jackets this afternoon I think, plus some of the cropped dunagrees for ds.
Hope you're OK KAYZ if you are lurking xxxx
Hello to everyone else

Hi Diege, no Sale is south Mancs, we're up in between Southport and Preston, though have just had to look up where Sale is and didn't realise Warrington was as close as it is (You are in Warrington aren't you? Or am I making that up? ) It's probably only about 40mins (car) from here.

Shopping for boys things is no fun, though it is getting better as they're getting bigger, Debenhams, Gap (especially for DS3 - ASOS are delivering Gap stuff now), Fatface (no good for you though, they only start at 2y), the very odd thing from Monsoon, Next for jeans and socks/underwear, used to get quite a bit from M&S but have gone off them in the last couple of years. DS1 is into "sk8" wear at the moment so lots from places like this, and DS2 seems to be following his lead. Somehow we manage to stay well away from the skull and crossbone thing, though with DS1's obsession with this sodding sk8 wear has seen us plunge into the depths of faux graffitti, must admit though, it suits him because some how he has ended up quite tall, and at least it's not all blue/brown/beige/khaki.

Hi guys

Very quick one as I desperately need to do a proper catch up, but I wanted to say hi to Kay as I'd seen her threads. I hope you are ok today and im thinking of you.

All good (apart from never ending sickness) in GBL world.

Back soon
xxx

afternoon, not too well, got a tummy bug, was up from 3am being sick, then DD2 woke at 5am out of sorts and haven't got any rest since.

Kayz- hope you're holding up ok.

Diege- I love next for all my DC's. I've decided to go with half leggings and l/s tee's or dresses combos for the girls with half shorts and t-shirts or just dresses, and same for DS, thin cargo's and l/s tops or shorts and tee's... DS is still quite into the sort of thing i like for him so next suits both our tastes. he loves the super mario and star wars tops they do. Debenhams is also good for all 3 aswell.