Due March 2010 - "Hello Baby... Goodbye Pelvic Floor"

[Arcadie]

Welcome to the March Preggos. Here's hoping we see nearly 1000 posts before anyone pops!

rebecca - you poor thing, it all sounds really unsettling. I think you're being v good about it, i know I would be very upset if i were in the same situation. I guess your DH's career must be very important to him and I guess that's something you know all about already. Let's hope he wins the pitch after all that effort.

I would try and pin him down re dates of trips asap so that you can make alternative arrangements. Have you got friends / family that can stay with you or be on call while he is away? That could help ease your mind a lot. Mums, sisters and friends can all make great birth partners even if it wasn't what you were originally hoping for. Also, why not give your doula a call and talk to her about your concerns. I'm sure she won't mind.

As someone whose original birth-plan ended up absolutely out of the window first time round (all the positive thinking in the world couldn't have saved it!), I believe that as long as you have covered the bases (ie. there's someone on hand to help you) how the baby comes out really doesn't matter. I know that's hard to hold on to when you've got such strong feelings about how you want your child to enter the world, but it is true. I think it would be a great shame if your husband missed the birth (and I suspect he would regret it) but he will still have a great and positive relationship with your baby whether he's there or not. He must feel under even more pressure to win that pitch to make it worth it though! That's life though - it's not convenient, or not in my experience anyway.

scooby - good for you thinking about 'life after the birth'. We will be going to Cornwall to stay with my parents this year (again) as that means childcare on tap, although i'm sure DH would rather go to Rhodes We went on holiday with DD when she was 8 months old and it was a bit of a shock to me as it hadn't occured to me that the childcare continues wherever you are (just without the gadgets that make it easy at home). Doh!

Oh and changing bags... probably going aginst the flow here, but I've given up on them altogether and just use a big bag that I've got anyway. You don't actually need a bag with separate baby-specific compartments to carry nappies etc - it's another marketing con although admittedly some of them are very nice and i wouldn't say no to one of those nice leather ones in the Jo-jo catalogue.

DS1 was very well travelled... France and Spain at 4m; Poland at 6m; Bali at 11m; Brazil at 2 (whilst 7m pg and on SPD crutches!)

Apologies for being partonising but discovery basket (or whatever it was called)did make me smile. I recall something simliar beign suggested in my NCT class and goinaway and making one up, I changed a couple of items a couple of times and it was quickly scattered! It lasted a week.

Cbeebies will be your friend. DS1 rarely watchd tv until the arrival of DS2 (actually probably pg) wehn all tv rules went out the window. Problem is once they're broken they're impossible to get back!

swings - childcare sorted for Rhodes. Both sets of grandparents and twin,BIL and nephews all going!!! Only way we were persuaded to take small baby somewhere so hot as free childcare on tap for whole holiday!!!

Mexico is also likely to include at least 7 days of grandparenting!!

Yep, like so many things involving children, am totally prepared for treasure box not to go as planned. However will give it a whirl. At the very least DS should have fun decorating the box.

Ummm, holidays. We took DS to Germany for a wedding at 3 1/2 months and it was hard hard work - mostly because of him being the Incredible Non-Sleeping baby. In fact, at one point I was so busy congratulating myself for getting him to drop off in Church that I missed my cue to come and do a Reading. The bride had to turn round and ask, "Sariska, are you there?" Oops.

When he was a year old we went to Jersey and France for more weddings. They were much easier cos he was sleeping better. Even easier was last summer's hol to Greece but the ratio of 7 adults to 2 kids def helped. So, I think you have the right idea there, Scooby.

Not planning a holiday this year. If DC2 is tractable(ish) and everyone is getting decent(ish) amounts of sleep, maybe we'll head to Cornwall for a week. Further afield can wait. Cannot imagine taking a two yr old to Brazil (respect BPM) even tho pre-kids I avidly read "Where there is no doctor" in preparation for taking my PFB for a jaunt across rural India or sub-Saharan Africa. Ha!

Gosh, my third essay of the day. Sorry All...

I just wrote the longest post ever - and lost it

Anyway, thanks for all your good wishes and thoughts

DB, good luck with house move.
I have cursed your busdriver; he should be afraid, v afraid
Re breech/transverse lies: I am a bit about chi etc as you are, but have some dim and distant memory that there is some evidence that acupuncture might work. Or google "Spinning babies", has been linked on here before, equally may or may not work...

Rebecca, oh, what pearls of wisdom I had to give you in my original post . So sorry you are having to go through this worry at this late stage in the proceedings . I suppose, how to take this will also depend on how big a chance this is for your DH and for all of you as a family? Child birth is a tiny part of a child's life (although of course HUGE for you). TBH, for me, DH's presence at all deliveries did not make much difference other than for him, in that I do think it is an amazing experience to witness a birth and I am sure it helped him bond with his babies quicker (I know I welled up at every single delivery that I was present at during my training, when it involved perfect stangers and their babies ).
I hope you find a solution that keeps everybody happy/not too unhappy. It is a Very Good Thing that you have a doula lined up. Keep your mum busy with cooking/cleaning etc so you can get on with BFing if it does come to that ...

Leg cramp: world's worst hamstring cramp here at night, wake up screaming, leg still sore when cramp has gone, gah!

Changing bags: never owned a purpose-built one, always had backpacks/across the body messenger bags to be hands-free to allow wrestling with escapees - no, a glamourous yummy-mummy I aint !

Travelling: young babies travel v easily, its when they are older/mobile it becomes harder work...

Also, AIBU, to inform DS1 and 2 that they will be having a joint birthday party without given them any much choice in the matter. Their birthdays are 10 days apart, they have a lot of joint friends and DS2's birthday is my due date . I. Will. Go. Overdue.

I am sure I've forgotten stuff I wrote earlier. The world and you all will have to remain bereft of all the other things I was going to regale you with (I hope this is not sighs of relief I can hear there at the back )

Oh, and I am NOT talking to any of you who are on mat leave (3 weeks to go).

Right, let's see if I can post this...

Ha, not that this post is much shorter, sorry .

Oh rebecca, that is an awful situation to be in and I completely sympathise. The thought of labour is very daunting, especially when it's your first, and of course you want to know he'll be there (and of course having a doula there, although great, isn't the same as having him there). I suppose all you can do is get specific dates from him and plan alternative birth partners. Plus discuss the situation with your doula so she is prepared, and maybe have another really frank chat (although sounds like you have already had a frank chat) with your DH telling him how anxious and unsettled this makes you feel. Hopefully he will gradually realise how important it is that he's there.

pixie - I have a bit of an itchy bump but if the itching is unbearble can't that be a sign of something (pre-eclampsia?)? Don't want to worry you but might be worth checking out just in case?

EmLou - great news your baby is putting on some weight - as for stroppy toddlers, no advice but my God I am with you!

BFM - feel quite reassured by what you say about CS. Went to MW today who thinks my baby might be breech. Am 36+6 today so it is getting late for him to turn I think. Anyway going for a scan on Tues to confirm and if they can't turn him they'll book my in for a CS 2 weeks later - well that will be quite a difference from the hippy dippy, breathing the baby out water birth I had in mind! On the plus side we will at least know when the birth will be so can arrange good childcare...

DB and at bus driver. I witnessed something very similar the other week and made a complaint about the driver - absolutely disgusting behaviour

sariska I tried the treasure chest thing when I had DS but you have to be so organised and refill it/top it up plus remember to have it to hand when you're going to feed, maybe it's just me but I was just too organised, and like BPM lasted about a week!

crossed posts Pacific - no, YANBU to combine parties, in fact you are supermum for even considering a party at all at 9 months pg!

Right ladies, after a loooooong absence, I am now back! I haven't even been lurking, so am totally out of the loop!

There is no way my eyes could cope reading all the posts from the last March 2010 thread, nor the first 11 pages of this thread, so I've re-joined from fresh and hope to pick up details of your lives as we go on from here.

Hope you all haven't forgotten me I am the lovely 25-year-old from N. Ireland, due with 1st child and so blissfully ignorant of all the pain and sleeplessness which is coming my way. Please don't burst my bubble!

Only joking, I'm very clued in..... ante-natal classes are all finished and ante-natal yoga is my friend.

Not long to go now for us all! I'm assuming no one has had an early baby?

Hi, TLC, welcome back.

We had missed you and worried about you, glad all is well.

Awww, is nice to know I was missed

I am fine, as is Baby TLC. Pregnancy is going fine, apart from crazy rib pain! Looking forward to when it's all over.... apart from the birth! I am NOT looking forward to that!

I missed all you ladies too, but was so busy that I just couldn't get on this thread.

I'm back now, so fear not. I'm here to stay and looking forward to when we all have our babies out and safe.

TLC welcome back. No no-one has had their babies yet. Emlou, Pixie and P&P are vying for first spot!!!

x

DB, what a horrible bus driver! At least that's it for you for a bit.

Rebecca, DH gets it in the neck for suggesting he plays a round of golf within 6 months of BabyDragon's arrival, never mind does loads of travelling. A really difficult situation for both of you but you will get through it.

DrS well done on the driving test. And to Caitni if I didn't say so already.

Hello Pacific, TLC and the other returners and newbies!

Soooooo tired now but only 3 days of work to get through. People keep asking me if I'm winding down - ha ha ha! Slowing down yes, but that just means I have more work to do but can't get to it quickly enough. Keep chanting: this too shall pass...

And Jas, I'm working my way very slowly through the last of the rubbish Wheel of Time books. I'm hoping it picks up at 11 and 12, I don't think the 13th and last is out yet. But progress with book 10 is very slow because I keep falling asleep on the train!

hi everyone nothing new to add atm, i have been lurking and keeping up with you all,

reeling very tired very suddenly i think the last few weeks is catchin up with me now!!!lol Rosie is still doing very well with her plaster on and is generally very happy- we braved messy play yesterday in our local sure start centre- after the initial stares from ohter moms it was ok and i managed to relax a little- Rosie was not bothered at all and got stuck into some painting and playing in shaving foam etc!!!lol

four and a half weeks to go for me now and i must say i am so excited cannot wait to meet my baby boy whom we have decided are going to name him Elliott!!!! even the dc's like it so cant be bad!!!!heehee

have a great saturday everyone!

You started to drink Raspberry Leaf tea yet?

I've heard various recommendations for when to start this. What have you all done in the past/this time?

I'm 35+2. Is that too early to start? I have a pack in my kitchen, but don't want to start into it too early!

snowflakesarah Elliott is a lovely name We don't know the sex of our baby, really wish I knew, but DH wants to wait until the birth.

TLC I'm 34 weeks, and would take raspberry leaf now if I could get hold of some. Will have to pay a visit to Newcastle to get some. I'm going to clear it with my midwife first. This article says that you take it in the last 2 months, and don't start off having lots each day - start gently.

Reference is made to a research study which was carried out using a placebo vs the real thing - but it doesn't say enough in order to draw strong conclusions about its effectiveness (was the study double blind, randomised, etc).

Welcome back TLC! I started drinking raspberry leaf tea at 34 weeks and will increase to 2 cups a day next week, all the way up till 4 cups - after lots of googling this seemed to be the best approach!

Sarah so glad Rosie is doing well and you have another fan of Elliott here. Not long till you meet him now...

Pacific thank you for your words of wisdom - especially when you have much more important things to worry about yourself. I have everything crossed for your test results. Mat leave will be here in a jiffy, I promise!

DB horrid bus driver. Many of them are I'm afraid. I had one who watched me run to three consecutive bus stops (there was traffic I'm not super woman!) when 6 months pregnant and shut the door as I lifted my foot towards it each time. Joy!

Scooby no holidays booked yet but there's talk of going to Majorca with friends who have a baby due 2 weeks before us in September. I'm planning on playing it by ear a bit as we don't need to book anything yet. Good to know from all your experienced mums that when they are tiny is a good time to go.

Changing bags - DH has bought me a pink lining one for Christmas as I realised I don't have a bag large enough already and I wanted one I'd be happy to use after the baby phase...

Thanks so much to all of you (Sariska, BPM, Swings, Scooby, IWCAS, Evitas, Siamese - hope I haven't missed anyone) with your words of advice. I feel I have things in more perspective now (hormones, eh?). I'm just not going to worry about it until he has the job - we'll know end of next week probably and then, as you suggest, we can make contingency plans. Where there's a will there's a way and hey, if he misses the birth/leaves shortly afterwards I can demand fabulous gifts, foot rubs etc while he is feeling guilty!

Going to get haircut for first time in ages today so off to find something I can shoe-horn myself in to that looks vaguely stylish!

Have lovely Saturdays all.

Hello, all

Re raspberre leaf: here is the abstract of the Australian study that seems to suggest it is A Good Thing .
Small study, lots more research needed, etc etc.
I took capsules last time round, but only from about 38 weeks if I remember correctly, and FWIW had a brilliant labour. I have just ordered a tincture from here, apparently they are more effective

Right, friend has just arrived. Speak to you all later.

I can't keep up with this thread anymore! I'll just make a few comments on what I can remember now, sorry to the ones I missed, I always read everything and sympathise where needed...

EmLou - great news on baby, phew.

DB - hope the move is going ok! Bad bus driver, he probably has a miserable life and only get his kicks out of being mean. You should feel sorry for him really.

Rosie - excellent that your DD is coping so well.

Pacific - good luck with your tests, we all have fingers crossed, or legs for those who don't use Tena lady.

I went to the doctors yesterday as I had the most awful night Thursday, was coughing so much my lungs, ribs and stomach were hurting and I couldn't breathe properly. See I don't like going to the doctor for nothing but even I thought I had to go. He said there was a slight noise on my right side and gave me anti-Bs. Thanks to the person who suggested that but I had already done it when I read your post! Think I'm getting better now.

What is Tena lady anyway, have never bought it, what's the difference from normal sanitary towels? I use Always at the moment for my cough...

Went to soft play yesterday as I felt a bit better in the afternoon, I was climbing to the top with DD and going down slides etc. Someone I vaguely know said that maybe I shouldn't do that as going on a slide could send me into labour. Might be worth a try when I'm near my due date!

Have bought raspberry leaf tea, having the odd cup here and there, will drink more later on. Not convinced it will help but surely worth a try.

Also bought prune juice (in Tesco), have drunk it for about 3 days and constipation is definitely better!

Oh and I have to add about traveling, I think it's quite easy. DD loves to fly. Between the age of 4 months and now 21 months, she must have flown at least 15 times. Sweden (lots), Florida (3 times), Mauritius, Rhodes. My top tip for plane journeys is lots of feeding, ie breast or bottle for babies and plenty of snacks & drinks for toddlers. And some books and toys. On DDs first ever plane trip she had a poo right on take off and the nappy leaked so I got baby poo all over my jeans. Mmm very glamorous.

LOL at fishfinger costume - inspired !!

Just wanted to say, I do know how to spell 'raspberry', pressed 'post message' too quickly because friend had arrived.

Lovely chat over a cup of tea or 5 + penguin biscuit or 3 ...

I can't keep up either but yesterday I finally completed accounts and tax return so that's all out the way now and I can breathe a big sigh of relief.
db good luck with the move. I would absolutely hate to be moving house this weekend but I'm sure it will be worth it. I moved when I was 20w pregnant and then again when DD was 17 weeks old. I'm not moving again for ages, I hate packing up and unpacking boxes!
pacific good luck for Monday
EmlouT great news that baby is putting on some weight, what a huge relief for you.
sarah glad Rosie is still improving and getting out and about.
pixie I don't blame your DD for not wanting to go out in a fishfinger costume!
mummyscrummy why do you still have to take folic acid at this late stage? I thought the recommendations were to take it up to 12 weeks?
TLC good to have you back. I'm sporadically taking the odd cup of Raspberry Leaf Tea - didn't take it til I was overdue last time so am trying to be more orgnaised. I bought a tea strainer today in Tesco so that should help as I'm on the 'real stuff'!
Agree about starting at 34ish weeks and building up from one cup a day to 4 as each week passes.
rebecca I think it's great that you have a doula booked, I know it won't be the same as having your DH with you but fingers crossed he can still be with you. I can totally understand your frustration at the situation.
annamama tena lady are specifically designed for bladder weakness (usually for old ladies!) My granny used them by the box load and I did notice that the cardboard box that MIL dropped round the other day was a tena box

Pacific - ahh the deutsche Effektivität... of course you know how to spell! Did I spell that right?

Pixie - hope your fishfinger girl is ok

Haha, I was never the head girl really, I just did the boy/girl/surprise list because I was bored and had nothing better to do... and I started a couple of new threads because no one else seemed to get their arse in gear at the time!

anna.

And how do you do proper Umlaute?? When I email my family in Germany I always have to do the awkward ae, oe, ue etc...