The PESH Deli - The drinks might be virginal, but that's about all...

[CurlyCasper]

Come in, come in to the new haven for diffed BESHies. I think a group effort is needed here (and I'm being a lazy preggo), so please add to the deli whatever you crave/love/can stomach.

Nominations are also open for sexy fathers we can hijack to serve our mouldy cheese and cured ham

And the best mocktail recipe wins...well, bugger all to be honest

I have some plans wrt of how to help girl rider and tbh I need her because she's a student so she can get her fit all jul & aug when I'm going to be totally out-of-action! It seems that she was riding out with a couple of numpties with very little experience and in particular was stuck behind a 13.2hh pony who dawdles which really pisses off my girl. It pisses me off too when I've ridden behind her. But said rider won't push pony on because she can't/won't apply brakes and she "has" to go first because he overtakes. He doesn't. Allow me to refer you to the aforementioned lack of brakes. But basically going that slow is just impossible for my girl with her long legs and she starts bucking and plungeing. So I have told girl to take lessons with YO and to NOT ride out with x, y and z until she feels in control. I don't want to be telling her what to do all the time but I really don't need the hysterical shit (tbf, not actually from her!) when I step on to the yard.

Well if your pony and this pony are completely mis-matched (as they obv are) it's always going to be VV hard to hack together. How obvious is that and why are the stables giving you grief about it? I remember in my teens finally finding a girl with a horse whose paces matched mine and we rode everywhere together. Such a relief not to be pushing on/waiting/etc. Fortunately we got on really well!

I can understand your pony's frustration being stuck behind some 13.2's bottom. I don't think there's a problem suggesting things to your girl especially if she's being ok about that - if she's accepting the guidance then good on her. I just hope it works out.

You know what yards are like carrots, combine "thick as mince" with "a loud opinion about everything" and you know what the outcome is! ... and the loudest opinion is always from the person with the least experience. The same woman of course who told me that a cigarette would "relax" the baby!

Slow coach pony-owner is actually really, really, really nice... but her pony is slow. And her bridle + bit are too big - which is partially to blame for lack of brakes... but I'm not one to march up to someone in the yard and shout "YOU'RE AN ARSEHOLE AND YOU'RE DOING IT ALL WRONG." Shoite, I should hang out on AIBU more often and get my debating skills down to a fine art!

LOLOLOL ski

But yes, I do know what you mean. I was VVV lucky as a little'un to have been dragged up on a farm with our own cow sheds into which our raggedy bunch of nags were put. I've experienced my friend having hers on a yard, and my mother did for a while when she was driving but didn't have her own place, and it's Just Awful.

The marching up to someone is clearly a bad idea - but a quiet word of suggestion to the wise? Have you tried this bit, xyz type of thing? Dunno, you know her better (obviously LOL)...

VVV amused at the "relax the baby" comment.

Also VVV amused at the "drinking at all while diffed is wrong" thread in AIBU pointed out in t'other place. I was so amused I had to go home and have a glass of wine. Again.

"Oh but why, oh why, oh why would you do ANYFINK to put your ickle baby at risk???" says AIBU OP, then gets into a car.

Just to join the breif diversion into 'yard politics' - I took my horse to uni with me in the Burgh. So I joined lovely very big yard (80 horses). People were nice - and no-one told me what to do. I went out on hack with other yard member - who was lovely but as an adult had bought her first horse - and the yard bossy cows were all over her 'did you know your bit is too low' etc etc...

They daren't come near me and say that shiz cos I was competeing affiliated eventing and the most any of that lot had ever done was clear 2 ft 6 "

Yards are very competitive innit

My current place is differnt... it isn't a normal yard..

Oh don't. I've been told off today for riding. 1) By a gay man and 2) by an unmarried sterile man in his 40s who hasn't had a gf for 15 years.

Tbf my female riding friends yelled 1) Mary King and 2) "she's pregnant, not disabled you wankers".

My yard owner is telling me off for not riding...

iggy That's why I don't want to interfere. I bought my girl when I was 30 and I was given advice from people whom may well have had the best intentions but I'd forgotten more than they knew and it utterly destroyed my confidence. I ended up after 18 months taking her home to my house because I just couldn't stand the constant criticism. Someone* told me to sell her and get myself a "gypsy cob" because it was all I deserved! I dealt with that one in therapy and decided that if you own a Ferrari you can drive it around in 2nd gear twice a month if you want to!

*Said woman claimed to have a Welsh Section D. Let's just say I was brought up with Welsh Section Cs & Ds and I know my Welsh from my "very average german riding pony with a dodgy passport".

For the best part they are really nice at my yard and tbf NOBODY criticises my riding or my tack... well, apart from being asked why I was riding in a double bridle by a supposed dressage expert. It's a Pelham obv. I think one of the girls in the tackroom hit it on the head really when she said that maybe this girl is just overhorsed and maybe my girl is quite a ride. I love her to bits though. (horse not 16 year old girl, that's just plain wrong!)

Mine is a gypsy cob innit - well half gypsy cob...

What pisses me off is when people think horses are 'wasted' when not competing etc. Like they fucking care if they are doing competitions... mine would be more than happy eating his head of int he field... the competitions are for my benefit!

I never interfere... pisses me off when people do... but think it shows their own insecurities more than anything... Course I would say if something was dangerously wrong!

Anyway - back to being diffed... am not feeling very diffed at the mo (sorry to those of you wot don't wanna hear that) - but is freaking me out and am all worried something is wrong...

ROFL @ double/pelham. Also wanting to shout, "Mary King". But then I gave up at about 3 months preggo so I can't say anything (but had what I felt were good reasons).

iggs you've hit the nail - competitive is the problem. People like to think they know more than everyone else. But, I think it should be ok to offer advice if you think it's not going to offend but I do object to people handing it out to show off (and they're usually the ones who know nahthing). That's the same for horses, dogs, baybees, etc, too. Being abusive a la only deserving a gypsy horse is just plain stupid, ignorant and mean.

iggy I'm sorry I didn't mean to slag your piggy off in any way whatsoever, and this woman certainly didn't mean a model as beautiful or as talented as piggy. She'd have thought one with 3 legs was too much for me!

Oooh that's a real bug-bear of mine. I think Ginger loves her life. In the field, getting mounted by Viggo. Eating grass. Nom nom. Does she stand there thinking "oooh if only I were competing in Mechelen this winter". No, she does not.

When is your next visit to the consultant iggy? I was pooing myself in the night convinced the baby had died - I think that's normal before an appointment though? Is it worth getting a doppler and getting your mum to show you how to use it?

Iggy I think you're supposed to be feeling good now. (and it's highly likely the reason your cold felt like a deadly plague is becuase you are diffed). Please don't worry.

ski I iz not offended mine is a bog horse - i don't care although he is half TB... but really i love a hairy cob.

10th Feb for next scan... am worried if I buy dopller I won't be able to work it/ hear and then I will become even more menkul...

doppler very reassuring - my £20 ebay one is now giving a really clear heartbeat - proper big bass drum in my belly. Perhaps this would be good for you iggy?

I've yet to get a HB off my doppler which is annoying. Other than mine, anyways. Maybe I'm pointing it in the wrong place.

iggy I keep feeling the same thing but am just trying to ignore it. Another few weeks and it'll be kicking your ribs well enough.

carrots This morning she got it lower than I expected, through my tummy-tuck scar and pubes. We're off to babydump on saturday I think to peruse the dopplers. Only thing was she picked up my heartbeat first but baybee hb is obviously much, much faster.

How is everyone doing topiary-wise? I cannot be arsed to deal with it right now even though it's somewhat spider-legstastic.

iggy I think your man is beautiful and I do like the cobs... but since I was 14 years old I wanted a european warmblood... and eventually I found myself here and with the funds and thought "fuck it". Want one.

rots you have to really angle it down into your pelvic bone (in my case, in the overgrown forest ). Though in the last week it's moved up just above the bone, which is why I can hear more clearly. It used to be really hard to find (first heard at about 11 weeks, v faint with doppler digging in, angled downwards), but now it takes seconds - mind you, my bump is already rising [scared].

BTW, people are now seeking answers from you. Naughty carrots!

ski i don't give a fuck about my topiary at the mo

I has had 2 TB types in a row.. so wanted something less menkul... Plus wanted something cheap to bring on - so went over to Ireland and picked a bargainous hairy beast

cassie what make is yours again? Angel Sounds?

rots Am worried that if I don't hear HB I might flip...

yes, angel sounds jumper. yes, not hearing anything could be worrying, but surely your mum can make sure you are in the right place?

I also had a good link to the different sounds you should hear, because many people confuse heartbeat with the placenta and blood flow whooshing. But HB is more like galloping horses, they say. I have a little chuggy steam train going super fast in my tummy [proud]

Brilliant - thank god I'm not having to keep up with waxed goddesses!

iggy "Next time" I want a Cleveland Bay and nothing else will do.

Will look into it cas

ski ooh me too... I loves CBs too... they is nice sensible lovely things

iggs totally understand - best not doing it really - I've felt the same too. Mine is angel sounds on cassie's recommendation.

cas that's useful, thanks, I'll try that. I think I'm trying too high where MW found it but with super doppler not crappy home one. Will try tonight.

ski I chopped my topiary on the weekend, first time in months, thought I'd better before I couldn't see it anymore!

cas what's been said? I've dropped off so can't see. Replied to your email just now. Prob best me not say exactly why I dropped off in public but you and ski know and I just want to move on, not intending to make a scene (exactly the opposite, I just want it to stop).

Come on ladies, get snipping/shaving. A rading stripe takes 3 mins in the bath, there is no excuse!

Been paranoid about spiders since first boyfriend kept having to pause to pick them off his tongue. Was mortified. Have removed it ever since..

racing is what I meant