Due Jan 2010 - the final countdown and singing Auld Lang Syne to our bumps

[CantThinkofFunnyName]

Last thread nearly full - so here goes - our last hurdle....

WMDO - I think that people with toddlers at our stage of pregnancy can be forgiven for losing the plot every now and again with them. Not least of which after a week indoors looking after a sickly toddler. I think that when they are normally great it can really throw a spanner in the works when they are not.
FWIW we had all sorts of hysterics in this house a couple of weeks back because DS (22 months) had a few mad days of biting and throwing and generally raging. Thats not to mention the thread I set up on here asking if I was a failure of a mother because DS never seems to want to eat a square meal sat at the table with us as a family !
Not saying these things are not a PITA normally but right now I don't have the resources and energy to cope with them and a house and a job and a partner and a social life and being pregnant............
I have no idea how I will cope when the baby comes but I expect I will. We might all go a bit feral for a while but will be fine eventually.
Hope some of that reassures somewhat and FWIW you sound like a lovely Mummy.
More Un mumnetty hugs coming your way.

hello peeps! i havent been online for a few days as tried unsucessfully to finish crimbo shopping , never mind have 2 weeks left. cant beilive how much there is to catch up on! i have had a brief read through.

alibobins - good luck and hope all is going well
Fraochsmum - I hope your FIL does well, hopefully all the support he is recieving will spur him on to fight! x

will make a cuppa and catch up on everything else

Hi everyone.

Firstly LondonLottie - that sounds like a show. You should call the hospital where you are due to have the girls and they may suggest you stay at home for a bit - or more likely, given twin status, will ask you to go in! Make sure you're ready - sounds like you will be next after Alibobins. Do remember though Alibobins had her show about 2 weeks ago so its not always imminent. Just the hospital will probably intervene with you because of past history, twins etc. Sending you happy birthing vibes!

WMDO - I'm sorry, but I chuckled reading your post. It really is hard isn't it? I must confess to being a complete child with my DCs too at times. Your DS certainly sounds like he is resenting not being centre of attention all of the time and these little acts are a way of getting your attention, however that may be. Don't beat yourself up about how you acted, if you can keep a calm head next time, good for you but tbh, he is so young, I don't think you are scarring him for life . You know the things that the books and Supernanny say, you've referred to all of that - its just not always that easy - just because we're mothers doesn't mean we aren't human!!

WMDO Oh yes I have been there. The guilt is the worst thing, but you cannot be perfect all the time. DS2 has been acting up a LOT (He's 4 tho) and I've found myself shouting like a fishwife in the street at him. He is not fazed by it. I think he is after the attention too.
Deep breaths, count to 10, then cuddles when he wakes up from his nap.

lottie sounds like a show. They can happen a while before labour, although, with DS1 it happened after I'd been induced, and with DS2 the day before he was born. I don't think you need to tell anyone (although I did ring my sister - I was excited).
Could be a race between you and Ali??

Firstly thanks everyone for taking time to read my mammoth petty moans earlier.

PG hormones are definitely making me take life way too seriously at the moment.

I do need to get out the house I think.

DS is now up and being every bit as naughty/whiny but im remaining calm - for now.

Much more importantly londonlottie
YES YES YES - that is a show!!!!
Thats exactly how mine was with DS and 24 hours later he was born!

My plug went at around 9am on Sunday morning felt nothing else but waters went at 1.30am ish Monday. He was born mid morning on the monday by CS.

Maybe it's different where you are. Here they don't really need to know as it can be up 2 weeks later before anything happens but you might want to give them a heads up with it being twins. 9 times out of 10 though - it's the start of labour [grin

oh crossed with about 5 posts there, sorry wasnt ignoring - thanks x

just dropping in briefly having a bit of a drama here

but

lottie!!!! that is a show, I had that after I was induced with DD. Ring your hospital, as it's twins and you're having a c-section they will want you in pronto I'd have thought

alibobins omg !!!! GOOD LUCK!!!

The race is on ladies, alibobins and lottie my money on ali is safe!

WMDO re your DS, don't beat yourself up about it (sounds like he is doing a good job of that himself!)

I dont have toddler experience but even with DD when she was about 11 months and into everything, I remember having a really bad day (a catastrophic day for completely separate reasons) and although she was the sweetest most angelic baby ever, she was trashing the place, and I couldnt put her down for a second and I was worried she would pull something onto herself so I shouted at her really loudly to stop it. I have felt so guilty ever since, because of course shortly after that she got ill etc, but what I'm trying to say is that even the best parent and the best child have off days, and even the best parent with a well behaved child can go ballistic over nothing at all. It's hormonal, understandable, and you won't have irreperably damaged your relationship with him.

I think the best thing for you to do when he is acting like he will listen (so maybe tomorrow) is to sit down with him and ask him why he isn't happy and talk to him about any fears he has about the new baby. He will be feeling pretty excluded (through no fault of your own, all children imho feel some jealousy and get worried if there is a new exciting baby arriving) but some open talking and reassurance may help his behaviour a bit.

Hello all!

I only had 3 days off with Winter Vomiting and Diarrhoea thingy Virus and there's a million more messages on here.

I still feel like shit but think I'm slowly getting better. Has anyone else had this at 36 weeks?? I've had it before when not preggers and it didn't last half as long. Haven't thrown up today but keep retching a few hours after trying to eat something, even though I'm starving. Sorry if TMI. Has anyone got any tips? Baby has been moving like crazy which has been really uncomfortable. It was breech 12 days ago, I think it has tried every position under the sun since. No idea where it is now but have scan on Monday so that'll let me know.

Officially now on annual leave then maternity leave so no more work for a while!! Bit upset that I was too ill to go in on my last day though and I'll have to do a few things next week remotely that I was intending to do before going sick. Missed a team lunch and everything and couldn't take any cake in. I'm bored already, but that's probably because I'm not feeling 100%. Had all the baby stuff delivered from JL yesterday, but don't yet feel up to actually unpacking it.

Looking forward to hearing news from alibobins and lottie. V exciting!!

Whats the maximum number allowed for a thread?? Is it 1000? This thread will never last until the end of Jan!

Oh, who has the nightmare MIL? Can't remember who it is now. She sounds like a total nightmare. Lop her off your friends list on FB if I were you. Definitely FB is better for friends rather than family, especially those of a different generation!

Hi Bigpregbelly. Yes I have had it, just over it (sort of) and yes had it with DS too.

I was able to eat lunch and dinner and was fine then screwed it up by eating tons of chocolate icing whilst baking with DS - was not wise!!!

crumpette thanks for kind words. Im scared to ask....what do you mean 'then she got ill etc'?

oh sorry wmdo I vented on here about it months ago but didn't want to depress anyone, DD died in April this year aged 14 months I guess I kind of chat about her as if she is still here sometimes. I think that's why I felt so guilty about shouting at her, she was so so well behaved but it happens to the best of us, honestly ( not that I'm the best lol) she was absolutely fine clever normal happy girl until middle of January this year, so nearly a year now from when she got ill then had 2xliver transplants.

Aaaanyway, yes, I think your DS probably feels a bit insecure and would maybe benefit from chatting about his fears about his new baby sibling. It must be really hard for you to find the right balance between discipline and being too chilled. Ah the joys to come

Oh god crumpette. I think my heart is going to split in two reading that.

I can't believe you have been through the absolute worst thing possible, read my pathetic moans then took time out to make ME feel better .

Im just sorry I put that memory back in your head today.

I remember totally loosing it for first time with DS when he was just 9 months old and I was screaming and shouting too. I know he doesn't remember that!! Infact, looking at him now, I know he doesn't remember today's outburst either!

Your DD would not have given it another thought, especially not at 11 months. There was a very good reason she was a 'clever happy normal girl' and you must have been it.

When DH asked DS how his day was he said "made chocolate cake with mummy and played with my digger" - just shows how their little heads work - no where near as much analyzing going on as us then!

Anyway, sending you massive cyber hugs.
I so sincerely wish you all the very best in the future. xxxxx

WMDO, sorry was my fault, I was just trying to illustrate that we all do it at some point, if that makes sense, and that you shouldn't feel bad.

How funny that your DS said that about his day!!!

thank you for your post x

WMDO

You are not alone. DS (2.3) veers between angelic to not so angelic
I have been trying a few things out and they have made some difference.

• I am not using any negative language around him. When I picked him up from nursery one day - I was told he had been a little naughty. The feedback was given in front of all the kids and at the time I thought nothing of it. For the next three days, he told me how he had been naughty at nursery. So it obviously really affected him. . The words naughty etc arent used around him, but I have started instead to emphasise that certain behaviours simply arent nice. And he gets lots of praise when he is being good. Totally want to focus on the positive.
• I have started to engage in more of a dialogue with him. So if I ask him to do something and he refuses; I dont get worked up but simply say that until he listens to mummy, mummy is not going to talk or play with him.
• Time out is being used (had a 30 min stand off this morning asking for apology and him refusing, he eventually caved)

Obviously both of the above mean that I have to relax about him being unpredictable and may not make it places I plan to. Who am I kidding, I make no plans!

To help once the baby arrives, I also now plan to introduce a reward chart. Have been buying little bits over the last few months and also plan to hold back some christmas presents, so good behaviour from him is going to be rewarded over the next few months.

I too have lost my patience with him on occasion but it has gotten me nowhere. I honestly think they get a kick out of seeing mummy so angry. It is such a difficult time for our little toddlers, I do feel for them. It must be so confusing for them.

But I truely believe that none of their actions come from a bad place.

Have just read that back...and wanted to say, I have no idea if what I am doing is the right thing (post sounds a bit all knowing). Just wanted to share that you are not alone and the things I am trying incase they may help too.

mistletoekisses No, you are so right, the nail on the head.

The more worked up I have got this week and the more I said he was naughty or bad, the more he has lived up to the new title!

I realised tonight, he has decided he IS naughty so may as well act it.

Oh and yes - he is totally enjoying me getting worked up and I had never seen this side of him before, but now sitting calmy thinking it all over tonight - that's because im acting diffrently towards him too.

Im stressing more, getting upset infront of him and im very distant just now too (or just plain knackered)!

Oh how I wish I could crack open a bottle of red wine and sit with a goldfish bowl of a glass!!! Can't wait!

Thanks for advice, tomorrow is a new day as they say.....Hopefully one with a baby alibobbins and 2 baby lotties

My DD (3.5 yrs) has been 'playing up' recently, I think in part due to the baby talk going on around her, but more so the excitement about Christmas. She gets excited about it, enjoys all the lights, visits to grottos/nativities etc. and idea of upcoming presents, but also seems to find it overwhelming.

In my case it may help us that DD has wanted a baby brother or sister for quite awhile: before I had a big active bump she used to say "there is really a baby in your tummy Mummy isn't there?". She's also been 'mothering' friends' babies whenever she can and says she wants to help with everything apart from poos! We'll see when he's born

Fingers crossed harder again for Alibobins.

& bestwishes lottie!

Baby jacob born at 804 weighing 6lb 2oz baby on abs and not interested in breast feeding be in till at least monday x x

Congratulations Alibobins on the safe delivery of Jacob. Great weight. xxx

Congratulations Alibobins, look forward to hearing all about it in due course. Don't know what abs is though? Hope you are ok and can get a bit of rest.

Hurray & congratulations Alibobins Jacob is a great name. Hope you manage to rest up now he's here. Hope you are all fine.
Biccy - abs = antibiotics?

Congratulations alibobbins! I love the name Jacob. J names for boys are always great!