Due Jan 2010 - we're all bump now !

[sazlocks]

Hi all - a new thread for all our new chat as teh old one is nearly full. No idea how to do a link though !

ahhhhhhh im now getting ermmm BH! please lord no its way to early for this type of pain!

Hi all,

For my first preg I had no BH, went into labour almost 2 weeks overdue, straight into 3 min apart strong contractions. This time have had BH since week 31. So far my pregnancies have been completely different.

Partyofsix and others thanks for being honest on here about formula feeding vs. bf. I really tried with DD and it broke my heart not to be able to. Several midwives, and other Mums, made me feel as though I was a useless Mum and it affected my bonding with DD as I felt such a failure. It's good to hear Mums making decisions, knowing it doesn't make you less of a Mum. This time around I'll see how things go. I have bottles, a breast pump and breast pads, but whatever works will go for me - no guilt!

Morning
Went out last night for hubbies b'day I really struggled and wanted to come home at 10 lol eventually got home at 12 ish. Didn't sleep well at all had really bad back ache and some tummy cramps so just going to have a lazy morning.

Lilacpink - nobody should ever give you a hard time over your feeding choice. Even though BF is supposed to be "natural" - it really isn't that easy. Both mother and babty have to learn to do it.

I tried with DC1 and it was horrendous. 11 years ago I just didn't get the support either. I was a single mum and nobody told/taught me how to do it or spent the time encouraging me. 1st day back home from hospital (4th day) we had an emergency dash to Asda to get a carton of formula! I then managed to express for 6 weeks but it was such hard work.

DC2 was a different story though - different location, lots of support from MW/HV and baby took to it immediately. However, I had the formula, steriliser etc all ready at home. I was not going to beat myself up about it if it didn't work. Again, only exclusively BF for about 6 weeks as was back to work by 11 wks so had to wean onto bottle etc.

This time it will be formula from the beginning for a whole host of different reasons. Whatever happens, don't feel bad.

I don't quite understand why some mums (and mum to be's) become so judgemental. Surely what works best for a mum makes her more relaxed and makes baby more relaxed. Isn't that what we all want? Being a first timer tell me if I'm wrong by all means...I just really don't understand why anyone would think that a stressed mum would be a good thing. If BF doesn't work for an individual bottle feed, it's not like you can get a wetnurse from the yellow pages!

Somewhathorrified - it really is only some mums who are judgemental so dont worry about whatever you choose. People are more likely to release their feelings whether good or bad on mumsnet because its not face to face.

Plus I really think most mums who attack other mums forget their is a real humanbeing on the end of their attack and being a new mum is hard enough without people picking on you.

I am guilty of this a few years ago on here and I have learnt we are all different. I had a few friends who got so upset about bf not working for themm. Two if them took to it really well but they just did not enjoy it and found it overwhelming that it was just them feeding. So they stopped and when they did they relaxed and were happy and as you say that the most important thing. The majority of my friends including me were formula fed and wer are all fine . And it was not as good as today.

My mil gave me dh's hospital card with his name and birth on it, on the back it states:

From (1973)
Feeds:

*Babymilk 1 (Half cream)
*Babymilk 2 (Full cream)
*C & G V Forumla (Cow and Gate)
TrufoodSterilised Prepared Feeds
equivalent to:

Scoops of Powder__
Teaspoons of Sugar
Amount of water

Half cream or full cream, scoops of sugar?

I will say I did not meet any mums until dd was about 4.5 mths and I am glad in a way because I just learnt to do everything my way. But when I did I soon worked out the mums who "done my head in" and quickly passed their invitations for tea

You find mums you click with. There are four mums who I bonded with in 2003 and they are four of my best friends now. I love them and we all made different choices about everything to do with our babies but we respect each other and that is whats important.

I've heard groups of new mums in coffee shops and there is always one really opinionated almost agressive mother telling all the mums "how" to do things etc and you can see the faces of these poor mums taking it all in and some looking so deflated like whatever they are doing is wrong. I have to bite my lip from whispering - "take my advice and drop this one!"

I think the mums on this thread are lovely and we have already talked about whether we will bf or not and its so refreshing to not see anyone being questioned about their choice. I think this thread will go on for a long time and hopefully we will continue to support each other through the first years of the little babies on our bellies right now.

I can not wait for us all to start popping and hearing the names of these new little people we have made.

I guess its Lottie first!

I am booked for my pandremix jab this Wednesday.

Devotion - that was a lovely post

Agree, lovely post Devotion.
I tend to keep quiet alot in RL with some mum friends as do things a lot differently, and don't want to be judged, or for them to feel i'm judging them cos I parent differently. Bit of a lentil weaver here too, DS1 not fully weaned from BF at 3 ! Looking forwards to feeding a little baby again, and hoping it all goes ok.
I don't judge other mums for formula feeding, but worry they may assume I am judgmental as they know I felt it important to feed my own child for a long time.

Went on another hen night last night, though didn't make it clubbing this time, had to make sure I didn't miss the last train as out of town. Was going ok until had an attack of bad tummy cramps, I think canapes for dinner didn't agree with pregnant tum Was awful, had to get tube back to Paddington for my train on my own with dodgy tum, terrified would not make it !!
Maybe I need to start slowing down!

Congrats Fraochsmum!

Great baby weights for your twins Londonlottie!

Hope you're ok Bethoo, you sound like a strong person who will get through this.

We're about to get all DS1s baby stuff down from the loft to sort through, the tiny socks make me go all hormonal!

It's Vit C with your iron tablets or iron rich foods, and avoid eating calcium/dairy at the same time, as this inhibits absorption. Blackstrap molasses are also a good source as well as the leafy greens, meat and pulses. Think I need to start boosting my iron levels, I was a bit anaemic after DS1s birth as lost alot of blood.

maygirl I bf'd dd for 2.5yrs, partly because she was allergic to milk until she was 2 and also because once established it was easier not to stop.

I will wholeheartedly agree that bf is not that easy, once established, yes but getting there is not easy! CTFN you are completely right about having to learn how to do it. I found it very difficult, partly because of medicalised birth and poor advice from the hospital. I don't think anyone should beat themselves up about it. There is a woeful inadequacy of support for bf mothers which is why many who want to can't.

I was shocked first time round to discover that most medical staff knew very little and that what I needed was a breastfeeding councillor and support group. Most of the other mums I knew bf'd too so that made a huge difference.

The other week my mw said the reason I could feel more BH is that your womb/muscles are more sensitive 2nd (or more) time around. I definitely have had them from about 28wks. As long as they are not at regular intervals more than 4 an hour it's normal, apparently!

quirkychick - i totally agree with bf being hard. they always say if the latch is right then it wont hurt and I think thats rubbish.

both times it hurt me for two weeks and the mw checked my latch a few times and said it was fine. it just takes awhile for your nipples to get use to being used like that. especially if you have sensitive ones like me dh never gets to touch them because it makes me squeamish to touch my nipples - i'm weird but for some bf is fine. i have to say that once i get over the two weeks of pain then its a smooth ride after that and suited me to carry on. But you here of some people who have pain for weeks and weeks etc. I dont know how they perservered. I think I would give up if I had to go through that.

maygirl - party gal you are! hope your tummy is ok now. i am so rinsed out right now there is no way i could go anywhere. my brother and all my sisters are going to see the pogues play next month and really want me to go, think its at brixton academy but i am just too tired. last year they went and said it was an electric atmosphere and really christmassy. Hopefully i can go next year and relax with a large pint of guinness or four!

Bethoo - how are things going?

maygirl - agree too about taking vit c to absorb iron, try to drink a glass of pure orange juice with your greens too and avoid caffeine for an hour after as this stops the absorbtion of vitamins. so there is no point in making a fresh smoothie with your lunch and then drinking a cup of tea 10 mins later.

I would also agree that BF can HURT for the first few days. I was totally convinced that DD was latched on incorrectly, but she wasn't, it just took some time for my nipples to toughen up. I was very lucky and DD took to BF straight away and I never had to use bottles or formula, but a friend of mine just couldn't get on with BF and bottle fed both her children from 3/4 days old.

It is totally up to you how you feed your baby and don't let anyone make you feel in the wrong. Easier said than done in the early days I know. My MiL was very cross that we didn't give DD a bottle so that she could "help out with the early morning feed" when we went to stay and that we insisted on taking DD with us when we went out (demand fed baby). She was heard to moan to a friend that she "never got to spend any time with DD as Fifi feeds her and won't give her a bottle. I have no idea why, its very silly, she is making a rod for her own back you know". She didn't seem to accept that it was our choice how we fed DD and we chose a different way than SiL. I'm bracing myself for a similar "discussion" this time round!!

We finished our christmas shopping today, now all I have to do is wrap it all. We also managed to find a duvet cover that DD loved (after 3 months of looking!) and ordered 2 from the local Debenhams Store via the online ordering service (Yes Madam, we have 3 in stock) only to get home to an email saying that they have processed my order and then one 2 hours later saying that they don't have any in stock. I am very cross now and feel a strongly worded email coming on - I stood at the cash desk in the store and spoke to the online sales assistant this morning - arrgghhh! I seem to have a very short temper these days, roll on 18 January, but I suspect that with a newborn and sleepless nights it will only get worse!

Hope you all had a good weekend, I'm looking forward to my first work-free week this week - just think of all that day time TV I can watch - not!!

FifiForgot - jealous about your Jeremy Kyle days ... only joking!

Why is it when we find ourselves with free time on our hands you suddenly find all this mundane work to be done in your home?

I understand your moods, I get so moody sometimes and lose it quickly. My partner think I'm a psycho. Blame it on the hormones I say

My mum was the same with bf, she never made me feel bad or judges me but she says it in other ways like, "do you think all this bf is good for you, you look so tired and could do with a rest, maybe make dh give her a few bottles at least at night so you can sleep". She does not understand that if I did not feed in the night, my breasts would explode and I'd have to get up and express or get mastitus.

I know she's only looking out for me so I just let her say it and pretend I'm taking it on board. Mother and MIL -

I am lucky to have a lovely mil but they still can not help themselves and things just slip out of their mouth. With my 1st dd i was so more sensitive to it but now they dont even get as far as my shoulder to fly over.

Just got back from my mams and I had a her lovely Irish stew, such comfort food for me. Dh was like, "yours doesnt taste as good as this"... talk about trying to get in your mil's good books! The cheek!... well my mam has had alot more practice I say!!!

Has anyone ordered their tens machine yet? cant remember when you do it again. I normally hire mine from Mothercare.

I wasn't going to use a tens machine, I can't get passed the thought of electricuting yourself as a form of pain relief! In fact I'm a bit stumped on the subject of pain relief. I'm planning/having a HB, because of the nature of house layout a birthing pool is inpractical, most forms of ingested/inhaled pain relief either make me violently sick, or do nothing (did some experimenting in my youth iykwim). Am I being exceptionally naive in thinking that I can just 'take' the pain?

Oh and I committed the cardinal sin last night and got on the weighing scales 3lb off 3 stone weight gain! I'm so horrified at myself, I'd love to blame the bump but that can't account for my increasingly fat thighs, hips, bum. Please someone come tell me that it's not THAT bad and that it will come off again with a bit or a lot of work.

SH my sister put on about that much, she has 4 boys and is still a lot thinner than I (normally) am. As for pain relief... I love how they tell you to take a couple of paracetamol... that will really take the edge off

DH actually came to bed at about same time as me last night, complained he felt cold so wanted my to cuddle up. I had my bump right in the small of his back, as baby was kicking away, and he complained "how am I supposed to sleep being kicked like that" HAHAHA...

somewhat I havent read all the above posts but your weight gain is the same as me! according to my wii board im obese having gained 2 stoned 8lb since getting on the board! Woops so overall thats my gain and im only 31 weeks so more to come!

It will all come of so try not to worry about it!

good afternoon ladies, wow you have bene a chatty lot this weekend!
it has been emotional to say the least so i have been in tears most of hte weekend but i think i am coming out of hte tunnel now as had this wekeend ot really think about our realtionship and it has been unhealthy from the start ,jsut did not want to admit it as love him so much though possibly think that was even brainwashed into me!
Lotto wow not long now, at least you are being cared for like a princess and the babies are already a good healthy weight! x
with regards to sleepng arrangements i found moses basket were not good as i had the basket in bed but i think that cos they could smell the milk they never settled so just latched them on and i would sleep. so co slept with both of them.
Fraochsmum congrats on marriage, and all the best for the future. not seen the pics but will have a nose later xx
somewhathorrified i thought tens were useless as i just found hte tingling bloody irritating and did not really distract me from the contractions and i gound once strapped on you could not really move and keeping mobile helped me alot.
i think i covered most subjects
bf is each to their own but i do try to offer my support and encouragement should someone want to try and bf and are struggling. i am lucky in that my nipples are like raspberries so no problem wiht latch and never been painful apart from when engorged at the beggining!

Hi bethoo glad you feel you are starting to come out of the tunnel. It is good to let out some of how you feel, if a little scary sometimes.

Dd hated the moses basket at night although would sometimes nap in it in the day. We co-slept too, lots of sleep for mummy and baby and helps bf too.

I have been washing loads of baby stuff from last time: toys, bouncy chair, baby gym etc. The corner of the bedroom is a great big pile for organising after Christmas. Already done the baby clothes - takes ages! I suppose it's good preparation for when lo comes along.

I have been getting stuff ready for dd's party/birthday. Dp came shopping with me in case I felt faint/couldn't make it. Excuse to stop in cafe half way through .

Once that's out the way I will try to sort out hospital bag. I have made a list: I have made loads of lists! Then also everyone else's Christmas/birthday stuff too.

somewhathorrified my sil put on close to 60 lbs about 4 stones I think with each pregnancy and lost it all both times and is a very toned size 10 now .

I am having very strange pains very low down feels like it's lower than my c section scar - is it possible my baby has turned and this is what head down feels like ??? It actually stopped me in my tracks when I was walking today.

Almost 4 weeks to go .

quirkychick I have to admit to having washed all the clothes and put them away, will start on pram and car seat etc this week - I can't believe I am enjoying laundry.

Somewhat - I put on 4st with my first pg and had lost it all within about 16 weeks, without too much effort tbh. Second pg was 2st (lots of sickness), again, lost it all by 12 weeks, hardly any effort.

This one I'm already at nearly 3st . I know it won't be quite so easy with c/s booked and not being able to do much for a few weeks, plus of course I'm now on the wrong side of 40!!!

All clothes, toys etc washed, ironed, packed, hanging up etc in this household AND....

35 days til BABY CantThink arrives !!!!!!!!!!

Evening ladies
Been to midwife today and baby is ead down ready to go she thinks the bleeding and jelly dischage are just all to do with my body getting ready but I've got to see gp tomorrow for some swabs to rule out infection.
Just over 5 weeks to go

Yeah I had the dilemma with cots and sleeping arrangements then my answer came to me in a complete different direction. Didn't want a Moses basket as I have little storage room and it has a short life span. Was debating a cot or cotbed but neither would fit in the bedroom, except next to the radiator.

Finally whilst reading some review on travel cots (for my peace of mind while I decided on the cot dilemma), I came across some review for a travel cot which was not very portable (so not great as a travel cot per say) - very sturdy and heavy - but which a few ppl recommended for use in a small bedroom/ flat. Spoke to a colleague who said she did the same thing and highly recommended it for the initial 6 months or however long you want to baby to sleep in your room.

The one we're looking at is the Graco Contour Electra which has a bassinet bit for when baby is newborn, changing table bit if you decided you didn't want to use the changing mat on the bed. Then when it has served its use as a cot, I'm planning to have it function as a play pen so I can watch over baby from the kitchen. Best part is it folds down into a carry case when it has finally served its use. (Watching this space as baby will probably reject my well-hatched plan from Day 1).

This is my first baby but I have been getting the BH since maybe week 27/28? I was not sure at first coz ppl said you normally get it in subsequent PGs but my MW friend said she got it loads during her first but only probably coz she knew what it was like. Glad to hear that people are getting really long ones too coz I was freaking out at the length of them. MW said I should not worry about the frequency of them but I didn't realised they stayed for so long. My colleague today had a feel and I think although she thought initially that I was exaggerating, there was no denying that the bump went really, really hard.

Being kicked loads as well. Baby is in a strange position... it was head down but I swear it went transverse again last evening as the kicks were going to the side. Today they were mostly just underneath my right rib. I think it's protesting being squished with me being sat still at work. NM, only 4 more working days to go!!

ali great to hear that MW thinks it is all ok.

lottie Wow... drama. Sorry that you are still in hospital I know how much you were looking forward to coming out. Shame re DH tho... but poor thing for having such a long way to travel.

Fraochsmum had a bit of a dim moment searching for the link to your wedding picture but WOW you look blooming. Good choice on the dress. You both look really happy so congrats!

flyingma I got one of those travel cots (an older version for DS1 who is now 6) It was really good, but the matress bit at the bottom was very thin & hard. You might want to pad it out a bit if this version is the same. They might have changed in the last 6 years though.

We did use ours as a travel cot though, and just put an extra quilt at the bottom for softness.

Grr I think the board ate my post!

sock Thanks for that. I had heard that the Compact had the problem with the hard base but was not sure if it was same with the Electra. Do you know if the manufacturer sells a mattress to go with these cots, or are travel cots a standard size so that I can just buy any old one off the shelf? I've only ever seen them for sale off eBay so wondered if there was somewhere else more legit, if you like.

had mw appointment yesterday, baby was head down as usual and 1/5 engaged but she said she can pop out whenever she wants but it coudl explain the sudden urgency to pee to the degree it is agony and almost cant walk! so hopefully this could mena she comes early then went to book my flu jab and the receptionsist was incredibly rude asking if i was eligable after i booked my 36 week mw app! then apparantly there is none even though i said i had a letter and i had spoke to mw and she asked what did hte mw say? i mean surely she is just there to book app and answer the phone and not pry into what is discussed with your gp/mw? i was not gong ot have the jab but the mw said that as a pregnant woman you are something like 1 in 5 chance of ending up in intensice care as your immune system is so suppressed. the thing is i feel normal as in so busy with the children that half the time i have to remind myself i am pregnant what wiht moving furniture and carrying boxes all over the house etc! though i thought i had overdone it as kept getting stitch like pains in my sides. my tummy is constatnly hard and i think i have been getting loads of BH
with ref to weight gain and weight loss can i gloat here? with my first i had a flat stomach and back into size 8 within a week though second time i would have to say about 3 months so i figure about 6-9 months for this one though my thighs are definately taking the brunt of weight gain this time round!! but then i was in my 20s (barely) the first time round lol
the ex has decided he does not need help as obviously all my doings so we will not be getting back together. i am fine with it though naturally i do pine for him but when we talk he just goes into rant mode then i say to myself and this is why we will never work!!
so looks like a lonely chrimbo just me and my kids and the menagerie of animals!
i think all travel cots are solid base so i used ot cover it in pillows when baby over 6 months and for now i use a baby duvet to put on top so it is more cosy and not so hard.

Our armsreach cot is also a travel cot that attaches to bed, so it folds up. We haven't unfolded it yet! I am still surrounded by dd's birthday party stuff.

With dd the weight initially came off quite quickly and bf reduces the jelly belly somewhat but then it slowed down to a kind of flabiness . I think c-section and subsequent dvt meant I was pretty inactive for a while.

I was definitely in quite good shape before pg this time so hoping that it will count in my favour. I have put on about 1 1/2 stone this time, am keeping more active I think. Last time I put on about 2 1/2 stone but was working full-time and drove everywhere and crashed out after work. Now I no longer have a car so I am walking more and (sometimes) doing a bit of yoga. Will be 40 next year so I need to put more effort in. Also, I think you are more active with 2 dcs than 1!

You sound more sorted now bethoo. Each time he rants at you he is helping you to get over him more quickly.

CTFN on constipation issue, apparently there was a study in Egypt (I think) where chewing gum every 4hrs helped stop it after c-section. I don't know if it helps while you are pg, apparently stimulates nerves. Worth a try though.