Due May '09 - wave your bum in the air, like you just don't care !

[Tummum]

Here we go !

ladyhelen - I think you're right: it could be like a hotel with one to one midwives and we'd still want to be at home in our own beds and own bathrooms with our brand new delicious babies !

Good afternoon!

All you second and third time mums what advice would you give us first timers re. post labour wards? What should we be aware of re. care? What care should we expect? What questions should we ask? etc etc? That would be really useful to know! Just in case!

Foetal monitoring was fine again today, only monitored for about 15 minutes then sent on my way.

Thanks Mr Jael for update.

Looby - the very very very best of luck. Hope all goes well x

Just been to local fabric store to see if I could find curtains for the nursery. Not sure what I'd like and not sure if I currently have the patience to make them myself, but they are soooooo expensive to have made up. Decisions, decisions!

Going outside to read my book in the sunshine now!

Sausage and mash for tea, although it's not really a sausage and mash day!! What's everyone else having for tea?

God sorry I didnt mean to scare any first - timers with my story, Im sure that mine was just a one off, please please dont worry anyone, just make sure you get the standard of care you feel is acceptable and dont settle for something your not happy with, I think thats the mistake I made.

Gert from my personal experience, you need to make sure that you are heard. When I was there on Wednesday, although they knew I am diabetic, nobody spoke to me about lunch so I approached a MW and explained that I needed to take my insulin 15 minutes before I eat, so could she let me know if I needed to find my own food or not. She told me it would arrive at 12 noon. Of course, it didn't, so I waited a bit and went to forage for food.

Same thing when I was on the post-natal ward last time. No breakfast appeared and no one told me what to do. Turns out, there was a breakfast room so that we could make cereal, toast etc. But I had to ask to find out about it. So don't assume that people will ask you if you want anything.

It definitely helps to be a little bit assertive. One MW told me categorically that I didn't need any painkillers (post c-section, first day) and marched off. So I called her back and asked her if she knew I'd had a c-section. Turns out she didn't.

I also think it helps to be able to remember that there are emergencies going on and you aren't the only person there. There was a woman kicking off in the next bed to me on Wednesday because she hadn't seen the doctor yet. She clearly wasn't an emergency, and the 2 doctors were busy performing emergency c-sections, and even that didn't mollify her.

You also need to prepare your DH/partner to be sent off every evening with a list of stuff to wash/remember/prepare/bring back every day.

I found anti-bac wipes helpful, as the loos weren't the cleanest. I got a bit paranoid about it, to be honest!

I hated every day I was there, because it was hot, uncomfortable but really in hindsight, as others have mentioned, I just wanted to be home with my baby. It'll be fine, honestly.

Afternoon- Had a lovely meet up with Dandy and her gorgeous DD at the Horniman Museum this morning- along with every toddler/ preschooler and their family in SE London. It was great though I will definately go back to see the gardens and have another look around when it's not school holidays and drizzly.
DD has slept all afternoon. I think she exhasted herself running around being a grumpy toddler!

Post Natal wards- I was admitted for 24 hours to monitor DD due to mecoinum in the waters. I agree with others who said that you need to ask about meals etc. I thought they would bring us something and missed my lunch because of it and as I hadn't eaten for a few days because I was in labour and had thrown up a few times I was starving. Also ask for help latching and ask someone to watch you breast feeding if you are at all not sure. I didn't but luckily my mum came in and took one look at me and said this is what you need to do and all of a sudden it all made sense. I had no idea!! The showers were minging so I had one after birth and then waited till I got home as I didn't want to leave DD and they were so dirty it was unreal. Take ear plugs if you are going to be in for long as they are very noisy. I hope I can come straight home this time.

Afternoon all. Well I am really bored bored bored bored of being pg now and want this baby (I am 38 wks today). Had a MW check today and was hoping to hear LO is engaged... but not at all ! All of my back ache has been SPD and not pre-labour so I am trying to manage my expectations that this LO will be late like the previous 2.

Re: postnatal wards I stayed 4 days with both DC, 1st because I didn't know what I was doing and 2nd because I wanted some support with BF (as didn't manage it with DD1). I agree with everyone else's advice to be assertive and not assume everything gets explained. And definately ask for help if you want it with BF because the MWs are so busy they don't often keep much of a track of you unless you ask. Also, I found my bay the other Mums kept their curtains closed which I found disconcerting - I wanted to chat but obv. it was only me. Being surrounded by other babies waking up at all hours was not conducive to sleeping soundly but I found being at home on my own terrifying because there was no MW safety net ! This time I hope I know what I am doing !

Hope belgianchocs is OK - I keep thinking of her waving her bum in the air in the hospital bed !

Chocbunnies that easter egg wasn't Madi's was it?! My DCs EEs are slowly disappearing, only because it is waaaay too much for them to eat, honest

Jennster I am also not thinking about no cmw cover... and will be very assertive if it proves to be a problem.

Mr Jael thanks for the update. Big hugs to you both. Nightmare !!

Gert2a have you thought of ebay for curtains? I bought most of my house curtains through ebay as I find ready made really expensive.

Right, off to neck some more Gaviscon. The Raspberry Leaf Tea seems to make me particularly prone to heartburn, sigh

dandy I delivered Madi on the birthing stool, so instead of passing her up to me, they put her over on the bed next to where we were, i had put in birth plan that i wanted her delivered onto me, they then picked her up and let DP cut the cord, then took her to the other side of the room whilst doing placenta orientated stuff, then gave her to DP, so I didnt get to hold her at all, they then did my stitches whilst DP still had her, he daren't move (was the first time he'd ever held a baby ever! and he was a litte overwhelmed) then they put me in the shower, then back in bed, by this time they had taken Madi off DP and got her nappy on and dressed and put her in cot, they then got me a wheelchair to take me up to postnatal ward and that was the first time I held her, 2 hours later, in a wheelchair being pushed to the ward. Looking back on it now I would say that was pretty poor, but at the time, I was scared and all be it traumatised by the whole experience that I didnt know what to say/do so I just went along with it.

Anti-bac wipes are good but i lost mine when my labour kicked off suddenly.

Agree with llareggub, remember pen & paper for writing down lists of stuff for dh/p to bring, also any questions you think of to ask mw/docs - and the answers - I couldn't hold a fact in my brain!

Fruit juice & other healthy/yummy snacks to counteract vile hospital food with random menu assignment. After 9 days i still hadn't figured how they do it... I never filled in a menu for lunch, even though the trays had completed menus on them, only for tea & then i only once managed to get my choice by taking the tray off the trolley myself, much to the consternation of the serving lady whose system for random food allocation i disrupted.

As the others have said, although it wasn't a great experience it is only (hopefully) a day or two. I just kept telling myself I was there because it was best for my baby and that made it much more bearable.

One further point - you'll be given a call bell for the midwife. Don't be afraid to use it if there's anything you want or don't understand.

re post natal wards.. I agree with llareggub. I noticed that those that shouted loudest got the mw's attention.. if you seemed to cope to any degree you were not a priority to them. in the hospital i had to get all of my own meals and eat in the dining room. .you left your new arrival in a specific room with a midwife who kept an eye on all the babies while you ate. at all other times you took your baby with you.. to the bathroom while you washed.. even when you went to the toilet.

Tumtum Nope it was my one and only egg, bought for me by MIL! Bless her! Although now its gone I may have to start on Madi's, in my defence we did tell people not to get her any this year as a) she still has flaming christmas chocolates left over and b) she is young and hasnt got a clue about easter or easter eggs! She was a little confused by everyone bringing her chocolate! As was I!

I really need to pull my finger out and get things sorted if Im having a homebirth! I have arranged anything! I WILL PACK MY HOSPITAL BAG TONIGHT!

tummum not tumtum ooops

Oh he knows, he said that I can hold this one straight away although think that may have something to do with him not wanting the first poo to be on him again! I cant fault him though and he knows how things shoud be this time round, I guess 2nd time you know what your doing and we both should be relaxed about having a new baby!

chocolatebs Tumtum is about right at the moment ! - just discovered some lovely new stretch marks this morning. Niiccceee will add to the collection

Dandy you did really well BF with LO in SCBU.

dandy they asked me between pushes if i wanted him delivered onto my tummy & i held him while DH cut the cord & they delivered the placenta. They also helped hoik up my nightie for skin to skin & helped with the first feed. Can't quite remember but i think they asked me rather than me them.

MWs in my hospital were incredibly helpful with breastfeeding (think the hosp has been awarded 'baby friendly' status or similar to mark commitment to bf-ing). I mostly had to ring and ask for help but they did pop in and out to ask if he was feeding ok. A couple of them even remembered when H's feed was due and came in to check I was awake & managing ok.

The other thing I didn't like was the lack of continuity in care. I know they change shifts & don't work 7/7 but in 8 days I only had the same midwife twice and saw 2 paediatricians and 2 specialist paed nurses. I don't know if this is usual practice as I did overhear them saying they were 'all mucking in' with my case

tummum ahhh stretch marks, apparently I have them on the underside of my bump, i was oblivious to this as I couldnt/can't see them, but for some heart felt reason DP though he should tell me

Dandy that's a great achievement The one thing I was never prepared for was how difficult it can be to establish BF especially when there are complications. You did amazingly well.

I don't quite know how it happened but when I delivered each of my three I was naked. I know I wasn't naked when I went in to the delivery room

My experience of the postnatal ward with DS1 was why I drove myself home within 10 hours of delivering DS2 and DD. Our hospital was busy, it was in the middle of a heatwave, I pulled all the muscles up my back whilst in labour and couldn't physically lift DS but the midwives didn't seem to get how much pain I was in and kept tutting and sighing when I asked for help. The final straw was when I was sitting topless on my bed trying to get DS to latch on and the midwives brought a Father's tour around the ward without checking to see if we were covered up first. I was only 19 too and totally bewildered by how catty and disinterested the staff seemed to be.

aaargh I am so right now. Sorry but there's a bit of ranting coming up! Bought a new washer dryer at the weekend. 2nd time used it there was a really strong smell of burning so turned it off and called the service centre. Engineer came out today looked at it, took it apart and told me there was nothing wrong with it. Put some washing in and as it was spinning went into the kitchen which was full of smoke and a REALLY strong smell of burning plastic/wires... then all the electrics went off. Was about to go to bed for an hour and am so glad I didn't as god knows what would have happened! Anyway, rang comet in a rage and they are sending over a new one by the weekend.

sorry girls, rant over and back to pg related stuff now...

Thanks for all the thoughts on the postnatal wards guys. My friend who came over today had her DD at the hospital I'm going to and talked to me about her experience which was really traumatic but she got the whole range of services (inducement, loooooong labour then emcs) so saw the range of facilities and care. The reassuring thing seems to be all the mw's are fab but as her induction was an emergency one then she found that they didn't even look at her birthplan.

The other thing that's making me torn between the mw led centre and the main mat hosp is that the mw led centre only offer gas n air and pethidine which I know I don't want as I've reacted badly to morphine based drugs in the past. If I wanted an epi I'd have to go upstairs. I really really didn't like the postnatal ward tho and can't afford the £150 for the private room (which you can't guarantee getting anyway). Oh decisions decisions!

Gert2a I just made some curtains for the nursery (with the help of my mum. It was surprisingly easy and so much so I've borrowed the sewing machine so I can do some for our bedroom as well as some lounge cushions!! For the nursery I got http://www.ikea.com/gb/en/catalog/products/90119410 this (the one top left) material from ikea which I love as the animals are all so smiley and it was only £4.99!

Glad to hear Jael is getting some progress altho it must be frustrating to be stuck in hospital, send her my best if you are still reading Mr J.

ooh febes and dandy am , some friends used to live near the Horniman museum and I love it there.

aaargh bloody links. this

runningmonkey - that's not good! Hope the replacement arrives quickly and safely.

chocolatebunnies - I have stretch marks under my bump as well, and a few round the tops of my hips and on my boobs too... After my shower this morning, I found some Sanctuary body butter and smothered myself in it with extra Bio oil on the worst bits!

My DH has just got home from work. He went to Tesco on his way home and got the baby a cute baby gro, vest, hat and bib (His main reason for going to Tesco was to replace his broken beer fridge but they didn't have one!)

I was lucky with both my deliveries (including cs) that they delivered LO onto my chest- it's such a wonderful feeling and i would recommend it to anyone- i am sure i will be amazed again at how big and heavy the LO feels! With my cs though, i didn't hold DS for long as i was still a bit shaky so didn't trust myself, but then he was wrapped in a towel and put on my arm next to me. I'm getting all emotional thinking about it now. With DD, they did have to whisk her away quickly as she wasn't breathing, and she went to another room, but i still remember hearing her first cry from next door and asking if that was her, and being so relieved when they said yes.

tummum or should i say tumtum, i must own up to being one of those women who kept their curtains closed the whole time whilst on the ward (4 days ). After involuntarily flooding the floor with wee twice, having to strip my top off to encourage BF with skin-2-skin, and feeling generally poorly and shell-shocked, i was in no mood to see anyone else. I then felt bad after because DD developed jaundice, and my bed wasn't one near the window, so it probably didn't help that she wasn't getting any sunlight .