Due April 2009: Episode 20 - Angst Ridden Fruity Fornication

[SmuttyNuttyTaff]

sorry couldnt help myself

on the last episode of april 2009 mums to be ..........

OddEyes & Babypringle are possibly going into labour Very Exciting!

Kaz & Skiingone - posted birth stories

lots of Fruity Smut, I was caught by the Fruit Fuzz and restrained

Lots more smut.......smutt...smutt

BB & WFH still havent popped (though we now have a birthing ticket system) We have to wait our turn

Boffin's AP causes more greif, beatings were handed out to a soundtrack

More commune talk

Morphine chasers with lots of soundtracks that take you back to the good ol' days

Springy & Suprise have gone to Brum for the weekend.

contractions/BH's/ movement/ailments aplenty

sorry if i have missed anything out ....

Any more bump photos?

have i killed the thread?

I'm going to have a bath now - i have a great new thriller to read so I may be a while... gotta relax while I can!!

Hi everyone! Sorry I haven't been posting recently - I've had no internet access for a while (DH couldn't understand why I was getting my knickers in a knot....doesn't he understand that maternity leave without internet access is like purgatory?)

I don't think I'll manage to read everything that's been posted while I've been out of action, but I hope everyone is doing well and that babies (both outside and inside) are doing well!

Have pretty much finished packing my hospital bag now and just need to buy a couple more things before baby arrives, so all in all feeling quite organised. Flat is a complete tip though, so if anyone has any ideas about inducing nesting I would gladly try them out!!

Does anyone else have the feeling that they've had enough of being pg, but at the same time it's become so 'ingrained' that you can't imagine NOT being pg and actually having the baby instead?

BTW, I read that article in the Times this morning about the 'sex kitten' thing and I nearly spat my cereal out - what a twat!

KittyCat, you have to stop putting pix of yourself up, you look so gorgeous it is bad for morale for us lesser mortals.

Mw has dropped off birthing kit and pool, and a packet of raspberry leaf tea. It's like drinking pencil shavings. Hope it gets things going.

BB, the more period-type pain you get, the more you are dilating. But I find it hard to tell - I am usually not dilated much anyway for ages, and then do the whole lot in an hour or two rather hastily.

Morning everyone.

I've read everything, but can't remember a thing

Boff, I hope that baby's coming out soon! I'm waiting with bated breath!

I'll post a picture of my bump later, when DH is around to take one. It's noticeably grown over the weekend, even. I'm suddenly very uncomfortable & waddling like a complete caricature of myself. I'm hoping to have this baby on Saturday, as I'll be 37 weeks then - & just in time for Mother's day! & the really strange bit is that Saturday is exactly a year since DH & I first slept together.

We don't hang about.

How is everyone? What's for lunch today, do we reckon?

Morning

Update from swali - she has seen the MW already and has had Cpox but it's also why shes worried about the baby being early as she doesn't want the cpox to be around when the baby comes xx

BB - yopu enjoy that sofa missy!! i'm with you, no more pregnancy for me thats it i'm done!! though BB you will forget very quickly what pregnancy is like xx

Trista - well done you, making your own wrap

Juw - lol the smuttyness starts NOW

Puzzle - yay for DD sleeping i have Hobbes from calvein and hobbes on my bum not really an endorsement .......hmmmmm wonders if i should get the bacardi symbol as my next one

Lulu - thank goodness its all coming together! you must be breathing a huge sigh of relief

Kaz - fantastic news that your LO's are in cots and doing well xx

Auld - good luck at the hospital and MW

Boffin - get that RLT down yer neck and you will be ready to go, watch out for the RLT inspectors though Boff is at the starters gates and ready to go!! OPEN!! OPEN!! OPEN!! then SPD Free

Oddeyes - yay for you too!! goodness the race is on!!

BB & WFH may be piped to the post by Boffin & Oddeyes!! ooooohhhh the tension and excitement is too much to bear people the crowd is going wild at the latest developments in the field!!!!!

Kitty - you gorgeous tiny preggy lady you!!

Frekkles - nice with the farting and burping at the same time!! tis a talent indeed glad you and john are on speaking terms now ((hugs))

Suprise - lovely bump, your boys ar lil cuties too

Well dh was very sneaky!!! i woke up this morning to a h&m bag with a denim skirt and lots of lil spring tops (i have been complaining that nothing covers my bump and that i look a mess). Love love love that man he must of gone down town with dd whilst i was snoozing over the weekend

Springy - are you home now? xx

I am indeed

& your DH is lovely, getting you clothes like that. Mine would never show the initiative.

How's the pain today?

Hooray how was brum?? were you spoiled like you should be how was your sis??

Lol dh knows i get sullen if i cant wear stuff i like, even if it is just round the house but still i'm v suprised too

pain still bad, baby seems to be strching out alot so head grinding into pelvis/back and feet and bum into my ribs which is not helpful, lil monkey but i had a phonecall from physio this morning and i have to go down there tommorow to pick up and try the TENS, then hydro again on thursday, so we shall see going to up the morphine to 5mls as well tonight i think as am not sleeping again, will have to drop it down again next week but it will be worth it just to crash out for a week

Juw - Look here. Any interest to you re: home birth?

As you were ladies.

Brum was fine - I wasn't allowed to move, so it was a bit of a dossy time. Not that my life usually is anything else, but I felt less guilty about taking a couple of days to be run around for by my parents instead of DH for a change.

Although I did spend 6 hours yesterday helping my mum mark A Level assessments, so I think I earnt my keep

My sister was fine. Neither of us have mentioned my faux pas at all, oddly. We're good, though

Good call on the morphine, I think - you need all the rest you can get at this point. How are you feeling about the hydrotherapy?

My instinct is I have at least a week to go and possibly as long as three weeks. That having been said you never know with these things. So don't get too insanely excoted, everyone!

Thanks Marthasmama - I saw that, but being of a suspicious and cynical nature I thought "Free? Pah! Not likely". Would quite like a doula though - has anyone else used one?

Hopefully getting pool on Weds, so just have to hold LO in until then. Still have to go out and get the shower curtains/ dark towels etc. And after the derision I received at the suggestion I had purchased biscuits for midwives, I ate all the biscuits, so need to get more!! Have acquired birth ball from a friend , but had forgotten about plan to hire TENS until Smutty mentioned it.

Smut, smut, smut? Well, there is a chat thread about losing one's ANAL VIRIGINITY (their capitalisation, not mine) !

RLT still out of stock at shop. How is one supposed to prepare one's uterus? Honestly.

I really fancy a trip into Canterbury for a bit of baby prep shopping, but I just can't do the walk to the station, train trip, walk from station to shops, walk around shops and back again. I feel quite feeble not being able to walk a sensible distance anymore without having to rest whilst I 'catch my breath'! Such an old woman!!

Typing is quite difficult whilst bouncing on the ball.
(There you go Smutts!)!!

I may try and squeeze in second breakfast before lunch. Second breakfast will be bread and jam and tea. Lunch will also be bread-based, as have a nice bloomer. Possibly tuna snadwich, as I really love tinned tuna since I have had to care about restricting how much I have. Later, I may make a cake (storecupboard marmalade), possibly some Juesli bars, and later bulk bolognaise for freezer.

Springy - thats good that you and your sis are cool, and that you had a chilled weekend xx

dont really want to go to hydro i can still feel the crushing sensation when i think about getting out of the pool, if its the same this time though i'm going to ask to stop it till post baby as being legless for 2 days post hydro sets me back worse than i was to begin with, so not really helpful, we shall see how it goes though

Boffin - you know its useless saying not to get excited!! Boffin! Boffin! Boffin!

Juw -order the RLT online! lots of stock love thy ball

Awwwww, I love your balls too!

Ooh, I love a good bloomer.

That sounds ruder than it was meant to. I just really like nice bread

I think I may have egg mayo. I should do some laundry & some cooking, but I'm currently lolling around on my sofa doing the best imitation of comfortable I can & I'm reluctant to move. I'm certainly not eager to get on trains & such, so I feel your pain. It'll be so much better when the babies are here & we can put them down sometimes instead of having to haul them around 24 hours a day.

Juw phew!

Springy - and since when have you worried about being rude??

ooooohhhh egg mayo yum

Frankly, I think balls are overrated (I'm not using double entendres now!). I don't really understand the attraction. I know some women who find them as interesting as the penis, but they're just not...? Or is it just me?

Nutty, hopefully the hydrotherapy will be better this time. Perhaps they'll find a way to make it easier on you after last time? Definitely avoid it if it's awful again, though. You have enough to contend with!

& I know - I'm excited for Boff too, whatever she says. I'm also looking forward to more pics from kaz!

Anyone heard from barb recently?

I rather answered the 'worried about being rude' question with my last post, didn't I?

I thought Smutty would go with the bloomer thing actually.

Smutts - metaphorical balls !!

Perhaps we could all unhook the bumps for a day and leave with the DPs, and have a day out shopping.

Yes, like how the penguins do it - just dump the eggs with the blokes & piss off for a swim with their mates. Stupid internal gestation.

Juw - now that sounds like a plan!! ahhh thats ok then

Springy - ah but balls play a big part in pleasuring your man they love a good ball tickle