Riiiight, I don't want to make this too detailed because I've been away for ages & a lot's happened, so it'll be long enough as it is! You also all have access to the photos on Facebook & a picture's worth a thousand words & all that
So, I was last here (briefly!) on Thursday. I managed to run around in the morning & buy my sister a bridesmaid gift, collect my dress & cake & pack all of my stuff for the next few days, thus completing the organisation. My dad helped DH () leave one of our cars at the honeymoon hotel by both driving out there with our stuff & my dad driving him back. Just as well that we have 2 cars still, because the first time they tried it the (newest) car kept breaking down, so they had to come back for the other Bad Omen Number One!
I left DH to go with my family & got a bit emotional about it for no good reason. After our last unmarried snog, I ran off to go to the posh Leopold Hotel with my family, where me & my sister were sharing a fantastic room, before going out to my favourite restaurant for dinner. It wasn't the wildest hen night ever (especially with my dad in tow, too!) but it was really nice celebrating my last night as a Bywater with them.
Went to sleep at about midnight, only to be woken at 3.30 by the fire alarm going off in the hotel. Everyone had to be evacuated on to the street (in February!) before returning to the room about half an hour later. Just what every very pregnant woman needs - to be going up & down 5 flights of stairs with a full bladder at stupid o'clock the night before her wedding I then couldn't get back to sleep (not through nerves, but just being thoroughly woken up by the whole experience!) & last checked the time at 5.42, although I was awake for at least another 20 minutes or so after that. Bad Omen Number Two!
Got up at 8 & went for breakfast, which was a lovely buffet. Went to the registry office with my mum to arrange that DH wouldn't see me before my big entrance, then returned to the hotel, where the flowers had been delivered, to have my hair & make up done. The hairdresser was amazing. He was a proper old school gay man, obscenely camp, & just fabulous! He's spent the last 25 years working in Hollywood & is only working for the salon I went through as a favour to his old friend who owns it. He was full of dramatic stories & namedropping, 'Diana Rigg is one of my regular clients, you know!', & it was all a great laugh. He managed to take me, my sister & my mum & make us all look lovely without any input from us, as we were all sitting around saying 'I don't know what I want!', being generally useless
By the time we were all finished, it was about 12.30 - 90 minutes until the main event! What had been quite a leisurely start to the day became a bit more rushed, with my dad lacing up my sister's dress, painting my toenails (I can't reach!) & helping me pull my mum's hat through her dress (it was firmly pinned on & she'd not thought it through to putting her dress on, which almost ended in disaster ), as a few examples of what living with 3 women for so long will do to even a fireman's masculinity
Became a bit fraught & angry when my grandparents, who'd arrived in the middle of the hairdressing, decided that 1.45 was the time to start faffing around doing things & I could see myself being late. I was on the verge of tears at one point, just walking out with my dad, mumbling about how I was going to bludgeon them to death with my bouquet & (very quietly) telling them to shut up every time I heard them trying to talk to me My dad managed to cheer me up by saying things like 'just imagine what my face'll be like when I have to stand up to give my speech afterwards!' along with variations on a theme
I didn't get at all nervous until 1.30, even with everything that was going on. & when it did hit, it was just as performance anxiety - I've not been to many weddings & it was the idea of having to do things without any idea what it was that was meant to be happening. A bit like realising that you've got a part in a play that's about to be staged & you've not learnt your lines!
Got to the registry office, to be greeted by the best man (DH's brother) & automatically calmed down quite a lot - I knew that DH was nearby, & really like BIL & had a quick chat with him, finding out that DH was in 'solitary confinement' so he wouldn't see me walk in. I then had to go into a room with DH, but with me sitting behind him, to answer the formal questions about our names, father's professions, etc, for the certificate. The whole thing was completely farcical & I giggled throughout, talking to the back of DH's head about being a bit nervous whilst he sat there in quiet terror, forbidden to look at me
I went back out, the guests went in, & I entered on my dad's arm. When I got to the front, DH told me that I looked amazing (& really seemed to mean it ), & the ceremony began. It was all uneventful & although I felt very silly, I didn't mess up any of the words. Although my mum started wildly signalling in the middle of the vows about moving my engagement ring to my other hand, which I'd already done. That was a bit off-putting
We made our exit & went outside to the 'Peace Garden', which is pretty much just a big fountain, as you can see in the photos. We spent about half an hour having 5 cameras pointed at us (what's on Facebook is only the best selection from one camera ) & beginning to get very cold. It was also at this point that I began to realise that MIL simply wasn't talking to me. I'd noticed a degree of strangeness before the ceremony, but I put it down to me being nervous & distracted, & therefore paranoid, etc. Looking back, she at no point told me that I looked nice, asked me if I was excited / nervous, or anything like that. It was during these photographs that it became clear that she was throwing a strop about something, but I thought little of it.
After the photos, we made our way to the restaurant, turning up a little earlier than we'd anticipated. They were excellent though, accommodating us immediately & bringing the timings of the food forward from what was originally planned. The restaurant were amazing throughout the entire planning process, too - I will be writing a proper letter of thanks, because they made something very stressful (two fussy families, 4 vegetarians & a non-red meat eater requiring a chicken meal!) extremely painless. To the point that DH was able to organise most of it alone
The meal itself was very nice, but it became glaringly apparent that MIL was not only not talking to me, but not making eye contact. I managed to corner my mum in the toilet to express my confusion & have a little rant. I was really not expecting any of that sort of silliness at all - whilst I'm hardly chairperson of the MIL fan club, we've always got on perfectly okay so far as I could tell, even with the unexpected pregnancy & so on, & been able to have a good chat without too much of an issue. Still, at first I thought that she was generally narked & even asked DH if they'd had a bad journey down or something, so as to explain the obvious stress. He said they'd said the journey was okay, but he didn't know & didn't care what the problem was & to just ignore her. Increasingly, though, it did become obvious that the problem was only with me. She scowled throughout my dad's speech (which made me cry, it was so lovely!) & didn't laugh at any parts of BIL's speech (which was very funny & well written) to do with me. At one point BIL pulled out an enlarged version the first photograph they'd ever been shown of me (thanks DH ) of me wearing a napkin on my head as a Pope hat, which raised a laugh from everyone but MIL - she just resolutely ignored my existence entirely.
The whole thing continued to get stranger & stranger, with her pretending she couldn't hear anything I was saying to her, no matter how loudly I spoke, until she had no choice but to acknowledge me - I offered her the (pretty!) table decoration to take home as a gift, & she pulled a face & made a comment about how if we couldn't be bothered to take it with us, she supposed she'd do the helpful thing & take it off our hands. Bearing in mind they've contributed nothing financially (or of any kind of support, or even offers of, actually) to the wedding (besides their own clothes, petrol & hotel), so it's not like she could've felt that it was an insultingly small gesture or anything like that.
After the meal, as we were all gathering our things to leave in the taxis, I approached her directly & said that I hope that she didn't feel that we were trying to 'off-load' the flowers on to her & that my mum would happily take them if she didn't want them, but that I thought that as they were so pretty it would be nice if they could be enjoyed (& I gave my mum my bouquet & my sister kept hers, anyway - I was trying to even things up a bit!), & she grudgingly gave me a quick kiss on the cheek to say goodbye & said that she'd take them. How good of her.
DH & I then got in our taxi to go to our hotel, & I was just so relieved to be away from everyone! We arrived at the hotel to find that there were already 2 VERY unexpected boxes in our room - one containing posh champagne & chocolates from some extremely lovely friends & another with various bits & pieces (including a helium 'just married' balloon, chocolate cookies, a Thornton's champagne bottle-shaped chocolate thing, strawberries & so on - there was loads!) from my parents, which they'd sneakily dropped off on their way to pick me up on Thursday - they'd managed to all be devious about it & keep it completely quiet & play dumb about where the hotel was, which impressed me greatly. Those things, particularly the loveliness from my friends, really cheered me up after a day of general rubbish from MIL - it was nice to feel like us being married is a Good Thing, without it being familial obligation to think that
We got into bed & opened our cards, collecting a good £500 or so, which was also very unexpected! I did then casually ask DH why his mum suddenly hates me. I was prepared for him to tell me I was just being paranoid (you know how obtuse men can be), but after he'd asked me to clarify (so he didn't put his foot in it!) he didn't, but just said that he didn't know what on earth was going on, but that we'd just limit baby-visiting rights until she started being nice I said that it was a bit devious & he just shrugged & said it'd be effective. I brought it up again, in a light-hearted way, earlier today & he said (& I quote!) 'oh, balls to her' Whatever the problem is, he's firmly on my side (in a way that I don't think that he would've been if I wasn't his wife now, interestingly - the new title seems to have made a great deal of difference to his attitude in general, which is nice), so I'm not too bothered.
It is curious, though. I know I've spent a lot of time going on about MIL, but it's just so strange. She's not ruined anything - although I was a bit upset on Friday, I was able to ignore her & just talk to my new husband & my own family, which was more than sufficient! Apart from anything else it's going to be interesting to see where this goes, so I thought it worth updating you all on her sudden change of attitude as a preparation for whatever stunts she tries to pull next. She already texted him on Saturday to ask if we were 'getting on okay?' I've not even included every single detail of her insanity, but you definitely get the picture. It really feels as though she was hoping that I'd have this cute baby & then somehow disappear from DH's life, leaving him with her grandson for her to play with without having to deal with me. Us getting married seems to have upset her in a way that nothing else has, but we have no idea as to why / whether or not she'll get over it. Strange woman.
We've spent the last couple of days eating nice food, cuddling, driving around & having lots of very good sex. Although not all at the same time, or even necessarily in that order
A dramatic moment of the whole thing, that is more relevant to the thread than the rest of this post, was the realisation that I was having contractions every two & a half minutes on Friday night! I've had BH before, but nothing like this - there was a very funny moment over dinner on Friday night when, after complaining of tummy ache some time before, I said, 'I have a question: why is the pain coming & going in waves?' & DH nearly spluttered food all over me as he went all wide-eyed & panicked We were timing them for a couple of hours, without them ever really getting much worse, before I decided that it'd be a good idea to phone the hospital just in case. I was told that because it wasn't convenient for me to travel in & because they were only lasting 20 seconds or so & not getting much worse / frequent that I should just have a bath & see what happened. Although they didn't stop for quite a while, I managed to fall asleep despite them (it was a long, tiring day after a night of broken sleep!) & when I woke up yesterday, they'd stopped. Much to DH's relief, even more than mine
Interestingly, they started again last night too. I think I'm saying enough if I say that they seem to coincide with periods of extreme activity - I know that Boffin will understand, at least I was much less worried last night, though, & managed to pretty much ignore them. To be honest, even if LO did start to appear now, I'd probably put off going to the hospital so they'd be less likely to stop it I was just worried about him ruining the honeymoon (although thought that it'd be quite funny to have marriage & birth certificates with consecutive dates!), but now he can come out if he really is ready - I know it's still 4 weeks until full-term, but I'm sure he's unnaturally huge & strong already, & would be absolutely fine. The bump's dropped a lot even since the wedding photos & I can feel him engaging (& then popping back out again, thankfully) every so often, which makes walking really comfortable We're definitely on the home stretch now
I'm sure I've forgotten stuff, because I've been splurging so many thoughts out in one go, so if there's an obvious omission / you just want to ask nosy-wedding questions, go for it
I hope everyone's well - I'm about to catch up now, but that's going to take rather a long time, so bear with me xxx