Due April 2009 - Episode 14: Fanjo Warriors attempt to be "clean" during this thread?? NEVER GOING TO HAPPEN!!!

[PuzzleRocks]

And so it continues...

Mar
29 Mar : WhatFreshHell, DS 2.4 born on Easter Sunday
30 Mar : BabyBolat: 1st timer

Apr
01 Apr : Rachelinscotland: DD 3 years, and DS 2 years in March
01 Apr : Chickenbalti: DS 4 years DD 17 months
02 Apr : BoffinMum: BOY! dd(21) ds(10) ds(7)
02 Apr : MathsMummy27: GIRL! DD 3 years
03 Apr : skiingone: DC1
03 Apr : purlease: 1 m/c, 1 DD 3 years
03 Apr : Kalikaroo: SURPRISE! (28), 1st timer, lives in Scandinavia (but too shy to say where!)
04 Apr : Bleuravin
04 Apr : Bumpalump
04 Apr : babypringle: 1 DS 2yrs 1 month
06 Apr : ToastnHoney: first timer
06 Apr : Mummyontherun: DD 22 months
07 Apr : Picklelala
08 Apr : LuLuBai: 1 DD born 02 Apr 07
09 Apr : Oddeyes (30): GIRL! DS 17 mths, 1 mc. London
09 Apr : Barbarella: 1st timer, TRIPLETS
10 Apr : hopeful1
11 Apr : mrsfossil: 1 DS 6.5
11 Apr : Bubbaluv: 1 DS 1yo
11 Apr : SpringySunshine: BOY! 1st timer.
12 Apr : Brettgirl, 1st timer
12 Apr : Mumblemumhome4lunch (37, Swindon): DS will be 4 on 11th April, DD 2yrs and 1month
13 Apr : Dungungirl(30): BOY! 1 m/c, DS 4 years
14 Apr : AuldAlliance: DS3.8 BOY!
15 Apr : claireykitten: GIRL! DS 12 months
15 Apr : electra
15 Apr : Sarahmum: DS 10yrs
16 Apr : tristaleejac(25): 1 ds, 3 years
17 Apr : Surprisenumber3(32): DS1 9 DSS 9 DS2 5 GIRL!
18 Apr : gingersarah: 1st baby
18 Apr : salbysea: (28) 1st timer
19 Apr : Kittycatisgettingfat (29) 1st timer
21 Apr : B52s: DS will be 2 and a quarter
21 Apr : Staryeyed
21 Apr : Schulte
22 Apr : PuzzleRocks: DD 21mths GIRL!
22 Apr : soon2befamilyof4 DD 13 months.
24 Apr : conkertree (27): DS 17 months
24 Apr : Bronze (Gawain) - 4th DC
24 Apr : Frekkles
25 Apr : Swaliswan: DD 17 months
27 Apr : Bicnod
27 Apr : Carameli
27 Apr : ilovesummer 3rd dc
27 Apr : purplemonkeydishwasher DS 3yo
30 Apr : Nutty Taff (27) DD nearly 5 GIRL!

Boffin! Your AP is really getting beyond silly now. Even if she simply doesn't know these things, she's not providing you with anything but stress at the moment, which is not what you're paying her for (the same goes for the 'being fussy domestically' - if you're paying someone to do these jobs, they should be done. Regardless of how 'fussy' it is.). What are you planning to do with her?

& on behalf of people having their babies fed formula against their wishes! How frustrating!

Thank you for your sympathy, ladies. I needed a damn good rant.

I will have a think tomorrow about how we might cope if we let her go - I am not sure I can put up with the poor little girl act until the end of July, when she is supposed to leave. I am cross I paid £400 to the agency though for what will be just over 4 months' work (plus her £80 a week of course). The agency were pretty good, and had a go at her before Xmas about much of this, and there was some improvement in the areas I specified, but tbh it's doing my nut in, regularly finding obvious things that are left undone or incomplete. I know it's a kind of post-Soviet, young person, can't be arsed thing at root, but DH doesn't see that.

I have found a very nice and understanding doula, but she is £16 an hour so we will have to ration that a bit.

I have to say Springy my DD is probably worse at the domestic side of things, despite my best efforts, but in her defence she would never apply for an AP job in a month of Sundays for that precise reason. She is also a very good cook when she is home and makes brilliant things with all the leftovers, so we have to forgive her a lot.

I am up already, ladies, having been kept awake half the night by the domestic situation, and gearing up for a Big Talk when she clocks on at 7.30am, before the boys are downstairs.

Then I will go out to buy necessary pan scrubs etc, and return and make her clean up the mess. If my projections are correct, this should take her all morning on and off, which will shock the hell out of her. After than she should hopefully have a better appreciation of what I and other people have been doing behind the scenes, and therefore look after things a bit more.

I am going to tell her she has two weeks to improve her performance otherwise she will be put on notice. I reckoned this is what I would do with someone at work, so it makes sense to apply this at home as well.

DH won't be happy, but ultimately he's not the one who has to have all the hassle. I refuse to spend my nights worrying about ovens and the like.

Can I say about bf that I found the NHS totally useless when learning to do this, and relied heavily on the NCT, who were my saviours. My first indi mw also spent a lot of time refining my technique as DS1 was very fussy and quite hard to feed. So it's better to look to organisations like the NCT IMO and bypass the NHS completely if you want to be able to sort out anything but the most rudimentary problems (like which way up to hold the baby! )

The deed is done.
She got a full on Boff, like students who have committed disdemeanours. I am given to understand this is very scary, so either it will have the desired effect or she will give notice. One way or the other, I won't be chasing her to do her job properly. She is on two weeks' notice to improve.

Please post back someone, I am starting to feel like this is a Boff Blog not an ante-natal club!

Morning Boff!!

Well done - What did she say when you were talking to her?

I am with the others - I would have had her out of there and on notice and I would be asking her to reimburse the money you spent on the oven so I think you are being very reasonable. You are not being unreasonable to expect things done, nor are you too fussy domestically - re cleaner, I don't think I would expect the tops of cupboards cleaned weekly but at the very least once a month and toilet constantly!!

As for DH he has a choice of your happiness or hers when it comes to supporting you and I am pretty sure he won't be trading you in for an AP!

Time to crack down on the cleaner now?

FreshHell - Thanks for the honey tip. I like.

Boffin - FGS She really seems more hassle than she is worth. I think I would have given her the boot by now.
It is not spoilt to expect people to do the damn jobs you PAY them for.

Clairey - Tell your friend to complain. I would be livid.

When I had DD my Mum asked the staff on the post-natal ward to come and speak to me about her first feed. They turned round and said "You're her mother, can't you do it?" . Luckily DD latched on beautifully and I had no problems.

All she did was look at me with a wounded puppy look and say "If you're not satisfied with my work ...". And "I did not realise I needed to wipe the oven out after using it". Duh!! Convenient forgetting of the big conversation we had about it as well.

I work with young women that age all the time so I know their little wiley ways. I was also a young woman of 21 once (albeit a hell of a lot more efficient on the domestic front, but I did have a two year old and my own home at the time).

No, I don't expect everything perfect all the time, life is too short for that, but I am baffled as to why people just leave whole areas of cleaning as if they are invisible, eventually creating dustballs and the like. Ugh ugh ugh.

Bronze, you have a good point and maybe I should grasp the mettle with the cleaner as well, although all of these things have said before to her too. I like my cleaner as a person though, and she is hardly ever off ill or things like that.

Is it an Eastern European thing, I wonder?? Do they just not let it register on their radar when you give them instructions?

CAn Inow admit to cleaning my oven once in a blue moon

Bronze me too [blush), although I am careful to mop up any spils so that I feel less bad!!

Oh Boff, I would have slapped her and said "Of course I am not satisfied with your work you dumb ass!" (sorry!)
Please I managed to keep my house clean all thorugh uni (from the age of 18) whilst living with 4 other students!

I think it was the tray of old food on the middle shelf that was the last straw.

I'd have served it for dinner and asked her if she enjoyed eating week-old food becuase you certainly didnt! The more you tell us about her the more I just can't imagine how you put up with her...

Smutts how is the pain today?

Good morning everyone!

Congratulations, Mrs Springy.

Boffin, well done on tackling the au pair. I know nothing about E Europe and whether or not it might be an E European thing, but I doubt it because I have worked with people like this and they are just qualitatively different from people who like to GTD (Get Things Done). I have my doubts as to whether you can actually change a nonGTD person into a GTD person (tho they may eventually change, I am not sure if someone else can change them) - they are so good at manipulating people and milking their inadequacy and getting other people to do things... eugh, shudder. Some people will do almost anything other than their work, I have no idea why that is easier than just doing their job in the first place.

Can anyone remember who gave the advice about natural iron tablets or where it was - last thread?

Nutty, sorry to hear about the pain - I hope things are a little better - how are you managing today?

I defrosted my freezer for the first time in three years this weekend. Found half a dog's worth of hair in there (ewww). Does this make me a) Better, or b) Worse than your cleaner Boff?

Oh and about the cat poo, I have a dog which doesn't deter the little beggers from using the grass. I tried vinegar for a while but this just discoloured the grass, I tried orange / lemon peel but this encouraged ants and slugs, then I tried chicken manure pellets which seems to work. I bought a big bucket from a DIY plave for about a fiver, put a glove on and spread them all over the lawn. It's organic, no chemicals, fertilises the lawn, is pet and child friendly and seems to keep the cats off. There is a bit of a whiff though. Needs to be done about once a week in high season. I encourage my dog to chase cats out of the garden but he just looks at me and says 'nah, can't be arsed, you do it'.

Oh, the cat poo thing drives me nuts. Last summer I started trying to hint that being pg made catpoo removal DP's job but didn't get very far. No, those expensive whiny things do not work and I feel conned.

I love it when the days start getting so light! This is the last week of February - which means it is so nearly Spring - which means soon we will have beautiful sunshine and delicious babies!

I am almost in shock

Had a really rough night with BH waking me up every hour or so, so really didn't feel like trecking up to London - just in case.

Anyway phoned my boss and not only was he completely fine about it he has told me not to work - is not sending me emails - nothing has come through! Nothing has come in - am not really sure what to do!

And the thing is I actually feel ok just in lots of pain when they do come - have been reading up on the apparently pain-free BH contractions on the internet - PAIN FREE??!! Are you kidding me!!! These people have clearly NEVER experienced them!

hello everyone

congratulations to the bride! just had a little looky at your photos on your facebook and i'm so chuffed for you! Looks amazing and your dress looked so lovely on you x hope you're basking alot honeymoon lady

hello too to everybody else! Haven't really caught up or else I'd never get round to saying anything, but hope you're all well and happy today

I'm feeling good today. Had a nice weekend again, i organised a surprise party for john on saturday night as he's leaving glasgow and all his friends next weekend. Twas brilliant, I got such a buzz from it that I was up dancing till 430am. Managed to completely surprise him and his face when he got there was complete and utter terror! He was so happy, it was ace!

We move into our flat on saturday...

On the cats, I have just seen another pile of bark in one of the flower beds where the little bugger has done the deed and covered it up! From now on DH is doing all of that!

I love spring - can't wait to go to the garden centre and get all my flowers to plant - maybe next weekend or the weekend after, will be a nice time to have the babies tho when everything is blooming and we will actually WANT to go out for walks!!

Frekkles, what a lovely thing you did xxx

Morning all - hope you're feeling better than I am... at home in bed with stomach cramps. Sure it's nothing bad but am still worried about LO, and really uncomfortable too Well at least I get to MN as much as I want today

Springy, love the fountain photos! You look beautiful and so happy.