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Heeereee comes June, its the home streeeeetch!

999 replies

Tee2072 · 20/02/2009 17:13

Here ya go, new thread! We're almost there!!!!!

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
LittleSarah · 08/03/2009 10:18

Hello Anna

So sorry to hear your news, I will be thinking of you and your baby girl.

Look after yourself and your dh. xx

ermintrude13 · 08/03/2009 10:24

Anna, what terrible news. I'm so sorry for all you and your partner are going through and send every sympathy. I'm sure friends and family will rally round and grieve for little Cleo with you, but as others have said, if it helps to post here we will all do our best to offer whatever comfort and encouragement we can. xx

June2009 · 08/03/2009 10:47

I've emailed juicy your messages just in case she doesn't come back to the thread.

It's so very very sad

ermintrude13 · 08/03/2009 10:56

Good idea June, thanks for thinking of it. The bereavement threads might be good for her, when she's feeling up to it, rather than having to face lots of expectant mums here.

bunnymother · 08/03/2009 11:08

Oh ladies, I am devastated by Anna's news - this is just too too sad. Lovely Anna and her DH must be really suffering. I will email Anna, too, to let her know that I am thinking of her, and of course will pray for darling little Cleo.

Thought you would all understand how saddened and shocked I am. But I admire Anna so much for her lovely, thoughtful post. How brave.

bigcar · 08/03/2009 16:30

Anna, i'm so so sorry to hear about baby cleo, your family will remain in my thoughts, sending you love and hugs x

lauraloo09 · 08/03/2009 16:48

anna I am devastated for you, your DP and baby Cleo...it's such a lovely name and I am sure she was a lovely baby girl. You have been in my thoughts for the past few weeks with the pains you were having and you will always remain in my thoughts, going to Church tonight and will light a candle and say a prayer for baby Cleo and for all your family. The berevement threads here are very supportive but we are always here if you need us x

loooouise · 08/03/2009 19:16

Darling Anna, my thoughts are with you, your DH and dear baby Cleo. Sending you much much love xxxx

daisy5 · 08/03/2009 21:18

I am speechless and so very very sad. It is a sombre day.

I sent a short message to Anna but struggled to find the words.

My dp is gone apoplectic over the fact that someone has put a dent my car door. Crazy with anger over the other driver...no, indescribably angry with me....as I must have parked in a bad place (which I didn't). At his request, I either park in Mother & Baby or in the furtherest conceivable space where no one can dent it with their car door, even though I am 6 months pregnant and it tires me. And yet, it is my fault and I must pay for it, and why haven't I said sorry.

I pointed out that I was the victim and someone had bashed into my car. But oh no, I have done it to him.

Definately sleeping in different bedrooms until he comes to his senses and apologises.

All I can do is think of poor Anna and her real ordeal and sadness, and think that he has really got life out of all perspective.

June2009 · 08/03/2009 22:17

ooh Daisy I think a man's car is an extension of his ego sometimes...
I am usually always for letting go and avoiding an argument but I also find it difficult when I am accused of something wrongly.
Is he having a bad day? I find most times dh is snappy is because he is angry at something else he has no control over.
Usually I defuse it by asking what is really making him angry and remind him I love him.

I thought dh was going to kill me when I drove his beloved car in a lamp post (seriouly who puts lamp posts in the middle of the road - ON A KERB??) but he was really sweet about it and even let me drive it again.

I told dh about juicy this am and he was really shocked, he said it hadn't actually crossed his mind this could happen at such a late stage. We've been thinking about them all day.

Naat · 09/03/2009 08:18

Daisy, I'm so sorry about what happened with the car and all... June is right, sometimes men lose their senses when it come to their cars...

And of course you're the victim, don't worry, he'll come back to reality and apologise.

I also told DH about Juicy as soon as I saw her post... We'd been praying for her and baby every night so he was aware of the situation... We were heartbroken for them... This happened to a cousin of Toms here in the UK last year There are no words...

lauraloo09 · 09/03/2009 08:37

daisy sorry to hear about your accident and the way your DH is treating you, hopefully he will come round and apologise to you for his behaviour x

Told my DH about what happened to juicy (anna) as I was crying and he was worried, next thing I knew he was crying too I think it sunk in that this can still happen even at this late stage, never again will I complain when baby kicks me hard she can kick as hard as she likes from now on. Anna and her family will remain in my thoughts

bunnymother · 09/03/2009 08:56

I also told my DH about juicy / Anna, as was sobbing, and now I have started again! Am soo sad for Anna and her DH, as I would be for any of you other lovely ladies. We all share so much and are supporting each other on this journey and for one of us to lose our baby is tragic. My DH was quite shocked and saddened - I tell him about all you ladies (in a general kind of way) and we are both a bit worried about our little one as obviously it can happen this late. DH's birthday present is a doppler machine that I am ordering today.

Am thinking of Anna and hope she is doing as well as she can and that she has lots of love and support around her.

Daisy - am so sorry that your DP is being so rude and unreasonable. I agree with June in that maybe something else was bothering him? I tend to follow a similar tactic as June w my DH - normally keep the peace, but sometimes try and work out what the devil is really the problem. Hope he is being a sweetheart again...

Hello to all you other lovely ladies - hope you had a good weekend w your loved ones. MrsMcJnr - hope stupid PayPal is not causing you continued stress.

xxx

MrsMcJnr · 09/03/2009 09:10

Haunted and constantly thinking about poor Anna ..

Ah Daisy poor you, your DP is being very unreasonable I hope he makes it up to you.

I was furious with DH yesterday I did the bed time routine alone on Sat night so he could go to the pub to watch the football and how does he repay me?. stayed in bed until 12 noon yesterday and left me to do all the morning stuff too it is absolutely nothing against DS who I adore but I work hard all week too so why shouldn?t I have a morning at the weekend that is a bit more relaxing too? From now on it?s a rota system! I was exhausted last night, only lasted until 9.30pm

When I was pregnant with DS two of my friends lost their babies at birth, it was so awful, prior to that I thought that things like that didn?t happen in this day and age and it really shook me up, I was in tears every day for weeks which was nothing compared to what they were going through but DH got worried about my own state of mind. My friends with newborns made sure that I spent lots of time with their new babies so I didn?t lose sight of the fact that these things are terrible but rare and pointed out that every person on the street is a pregnancy that went well. We all need to keep that positive thought as it is so easy when you are pregnant to get really scared and worried about everything.

Bunnymother ? thanks hon, no further forward with stupid Paypal

DS has an injection this morning back to that horrid health centre..

dreamydowler · 09/03/2009 09:19

Hi Ladies I have just read through the thread and am totally devestated to hear about Juicys sad loss. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family and your beautiful angel at this tragic time for you all. I too hope that in time they will be able to give you some answers.

I hope everyone else is feeling well. We all need to be extra vigilent now in counting at least 10 kicks a day from our bumps. I remember when I was pregnant with my eldest daughter who is 21 this year I had a kick chart to fill in shame they dont do those any more.

We have just bought a 7 seater in anticipation of our new arrival which will make 4 under 11 and our granddaughter to be transported around come june and that doesnt include the older ones.

Still cant make my mind up re pushchairs yet. I have seen a triple pushchair but its nearly £500 It is good though as its a double with a detachable third seat at the front and a raincover which covers all 3 children. I was thinking of managing with a double plus a buggy board as I dont have my granddaughter all the time but my dd wont be 3 until september and then there will be winter to think about and the walk to school is at least 30 mins in each direction decisions decisions was also thinking of a baby sling too but as I have heffalumps not sure I could manage a good hours walk with a 10lb baby Just hoping I lose lots of weight and wished I could drive as it would make things a lot easier but dont have the nerve.

Tee2072 · 09/03/2009 09:28

Morning all

Also still feeling wretched about Anna's loss. I wrote about in my blog, if anyone wants to read it: Tee's Blog

I am feeling poorly today so didn't go to work. I think I over did it on Thursday and am still recovering.

Is it 10 kicks a day or 10 sets of kicks a day? Because I've already had my 10 kicks today!

OP posts:
Naat · 09/03/2009 09:46

Oh MrsMc, sorry to hear about your day yesterday. Of course you need help... not only are you 6mth-odd pregnant but also you have a small DS and feel easily tired (for natural reasons) Hope he makes it up to you soon...

Good luck at the health centre... hope you don't have to run into that horrid MW.

Tee, good question! I don't know either but let's see what the experienced mums say

Dreamy, I'm one of the new girls, but hope you can find a suitable pushchair soon. There are soooo many it makes it really hard to choose!

lauraloo09 · 09/03/2009 09:48

tee sorry your feeling poorly, just you take it easy today...actually wished I stayed off today

dreamy deciding a pushchair is a nightmare, I'm finally happy with the pram I bought. Good about your car purchase.

mrsmcjnr what is it with our DH's recently, mines was a nightmare this weekend felt terrible but I kept thinking how better my weekend would have been if he was at work. Shame Paypall isn't sorted yet for you

I hope everyone else is well

tibsy · 09/03/2009 10:10

hi everyone. i've been thinking a lot of anna/juicy too. felt guilty in that i had quite recently said to dp that i wasnt enjoying this pregancy as much because i feel so tired and full of cold. wont be complaining again. bunny bless your hubby and his bday present.

tee sorry your feeling poorly, rest up today

dreamy hi, dont think we've met yet we're looking at getting a 6/7 seater, do you mind if i ask what type youve got? i know absolutely nothing about cars as i dont drive myself, but can give the info to dp

mrsmcjnr - dp and i tend to have these moments at the weekend too a rota sounds like a really good idea.

daisy sorry to hear about your accident and dh's attitude

hi to naat, laura and everyone else.I hope everyone is well.

Ineedmorechocolatenow · 09/03/2009 10:28

I am, too, haunted by Anna's loss. I was crying all the way to a friend's house yesterday. I'm crying now. I struggle to put the feelings into words.... God knows how Anna and her family begin to come to terms with what's happened. Those fcking doctors as well, palming her off with 'it's just aches and pains' when Anna and her DH were so sure* it was something else. I know they can't predict what would happen, but to pass her around, seeing a different doctor every time, making her feel stupid.

I emailed her yesterday as I know if it was me I wouldn't be checking on this thread again as it'd be too painful.

Sorry to hear about your weekend MrsMcJnr. DH and I have a rota and it works well.

Daisy - hope your DH comes round soon and bucks his ideas up. I know men can be precious, but you and your DC are far more important than a hunk of metal. You should be able to park where you bloody well like!

Tee - I read your blog and it was lovely. It's funny how you do feel as close to some people as you would do with RL friends.

Lovely present for DH Bunny - and it'll help put your mind at ease when you can hear the little one.

Having a sorting day today and trying to catch up on some well-needed housework. We spent the weekend gardening and the front garden is looking a bit more presentable. There are so many little jobs to get sorted, not least the nursery. When DS was born, we were in the process of a major renovation and had rubble, bricks and plaster everywhere (not intended, but work overran and then DS was 3 weeks early). I am determined that at least the inside of the house is sorted, and DS2 will have a nursery.

Hope you other June mums are well and that you are looking after yourselves and your bumps xx

daisy5 · 09/03/2009 11:02

I keep thinking of Anna. I have never known anyone to have a stillbirth at this stage and it is so so very sad. Although my grandmother had one at about seven months, it always felt that that was in the days before advanced medical knowledge. She still talked about it sadly at age 99, telling me that it was a girl and she couldn't look at her because she couldn't bear the pain, but my great aunt did and said she looked just like her other daughter. I keep wishing I had said something different to Anna, maybe recommending she go to a specialist and 'damn the cost'...but maybe that would have made no difference and they would have run the same tests.

bunnymother - I might be doing the same - a Doppler suddenly seems very reassuring.

mrsmcjnr - oh no, you are sounding really low. We both felt so 'up' for the last three months and now we are both feeling so low. The last three months are tricky in that you feel quite vulnerable and dependent I think. The first three months after birth too. Maybe we need a joke a day to keep our spirits up...How to Deal with Life's Hurdles.

lauraloo - sorry to hear you had a tricky weekend too. The hard thing is that your energy will go downhill from 30 weeks onwards and it will get a bit dull for your partner from time to time. I used to try to encourage dp to go out and visit friends so I could rest but he always wanted to have 'us' time before the baby came, but I didn't think it was very high quality 'us' time. Maybe trips to the movies might be a good idea where you can fall asleep and the movie can take his mind off things? But maybe you mean a different kind of 'tricky'?

ermintrude - Thumper is kicking a lot again, so I feel I can breathe again after the Spray Mount episode.

Thanks everyone for your helpful comments. Ineed - I did ask for a 'banger' of a car, so I didn't have to worry about it during the difficult period of pregnancy and young children, but he wouldn't have me in something 'unreliable' and wanted me to drive the 'family car' while he got the fun car.

As for me, it has always been this way in our relationship and I am putting my foot down this time. If something happens to me it is my fault, I am fully responsible and I am taking him for granted. If anything happens to him, then it is life treating him like sh__ or it is God's fault....or of course my fault!!!

He has never apologised before, but this time I am not leaving the spare room until I get one, and am not driving that bloody car either. I will buy my own beaten up car, that I can park conveniently and I can go back to enjoying driving like I used to. And I can drive anywhere I like and visit friends without getting eternal hassle about the mileage.

Needless to say he came into the relationship with the money. Still considering he will retire well before I do, he will be the one on the receiving end in his retirement when I give him his fixed monthly allowance and browbeat him daily about how he treats my 'mobile, car, tv' etc.

And yes, he is under a lot of pressure at work, but he said truly horrible things last night, and I am not going to let it pass. These dents are barely visible.

daisy5 · 09/03/2009 11:09

OOPS - IGNORE THAT LINK - SORRY - DOESN'T WORK

How about Pilates for People Who Like Wine

lauraloo09 · 09/03/2009 11:13

daisy thanks for the advice on dealing with DH...I always encourage him to meet his friends, but again he wants some us time before baby comes and I end up too tired and cranky so we end up fighting we went to the pics on friday night and it was fab, we went with friends too so it was best of both worlds

Quick question...I work all week (mon-fri) then I work weekends with FIL as a caterer. I hjave been feeling more tired and I'm starting to worry that this is effecting the baby. My gran at a stillbirth when she was around 7 1/2 months and she firmly belives that it hapened as she didn't start to slow down and did everything at work and at home. She has worried constantly about me working so hard and has told me to stop working with FIL...Just wondering do you guys think I should stop this weekend working?

daisy5 · 09/03/2009 11:23

laura - I'm just about to log off for the day, but I think you should seriously consider cutting back. You have to forget what you read in magazines (about superhuman women) and to some extent what other people advise (all pregnancies are different).

The most important thing over the next 6-9 months is to listen to your body - and respond accordingly...and you have to put yourself ahead of others mostly too, for good reasons. You will have to say 'no' to people more often and your dp/friend/colleagues etc will look despondent but it is important.

Ineedmorechocolatenow · 09/03/2009 11:29

Daisy - I agree that you need to put a stop to the way he's treating you. That's totally out of order. I don't blame you for not leaving the spare room. Who wants that pressure in a relationship? You want someone who is there for you when something goes wrong - not to have a go at you because it's your fault. Grrr.....

Laura it does sound as though you are working too hard. You need to rest woman! I think your gran is right, cut back on the weekend work and relax a bit. I think I try to do too much sometimes (this weekend for example) and then I suffer in the evenings with exhaustion and aches and pains.