I keep thinking of Anna. I have never known anyone to have a stillbirth at this stage and it is so so very sad. Although my grandmother had one at about seven months, it always felt that that was in the days before advanced medical knowledge. She still talked about it sadly at age 99, telling me that it was a girl and she couldn't look at her because she couldn't bear the pain, but my great aunt did and said she looked just like her other daughter. I keep wishing I had said something different to Anna, maybe recommending she go to a specialist and 'damn the cost'...but maybe that would have made no difference and they would have run the same tests.
bunnymother - I might be doing the same - a Doppler suddenly seems very reassuring.
mrsmcjnr - oh no, you are sounding really low. We both felt so 'up' for the last three months and now we are both feeling so low. The last three months are tricky in that you feel quite vulnerable and dependent I think. The first three months after birth too. Maybe we need a joke a day to keep our spirits up...How to Deal with Life's Hurdles.
lauraloo - sorry to hear you had a tricky weekend too. The hard thing is that your energy will go downhill from 30 weeks onwards and it will get a bit dull for your partner from time to time. I used to try to encourage dp to go out and visit friends so I could rest but he always wanted to have 'us' time before the baby came, but I didn't think it was very high quality 'us' time. Maybe trips to the movies might be a good idea where you can fall asleep and the movie can take his mind off things? But maybe you mean a different kind of 'tricky'?
ermintrude - Thumper is kicking a lot again, so I feel I can breathe again after the Spray Mount episode.
Thanks everyone for your helpful comments. Ineed - I did ask for a 'banger' of a car, so I didn't have to worry about it during the difficult period of pregnancy and young children, but he wouldn't have me in something 'unreliable' and wanted me to drive the 'family car' while he got the fun car.
As for me, it has always been this way in our relationship and I am putting my foot down this time. If something happens to me it is my fault, I am fully responsible and I am taking him for granted. If anything happens to him, then it is life treating him like sh__ or it is God's fault....or of course my fault!!!
He has never apologised before, but this time I am not leaving the spare room until I get one, and am not driving that bloody car either. I will buy my own beaten up car, that I can park conveniently and I can go back to enjoying driving like I used to. And I can drive anywhere I like and visit friends without getting eternal hassle about the mileage.
Needless to say he came into the relationship with the money. Still considering he will retire well before I do, he will be the one on the receiving end in his retirement when I give him his fixed monthly allowance and browbeat him daily about how he treats my 'mobile, car, tv' etc.
And yes, he is under a lot of pressure at work, but he said truly horrible things last night, and I am not going to let it pass. These dents are barely visible.