Heeereee comes June, its the home streeeeetch!

[Tee2072]

Here ya go, new thread! We're almost there!!!!!

Lauraloo, if you feel it's getting to you, in the sense that you feel more tired as time goes by, then maybe you should consider slowing down a bit... Specially as the bump will only get bigger and therefore, your energy levels will also decrease.

I know there are loads of mothers out there who work like freaks until a week before birth and nothing happens to them... but if you have the possibility to slow down a bit, then maybe you should do it. If, on the other hand, you had no choice, it'd be different, right? I'm all for prioritising you and the baby, hon.

Daisy, I absolutely think you deserve an apology... judging by what you tell us, he didn't treat you very well, and the thing is, it's just a car (I know some men don't quite get that) and the important thing was that YOU and BABY were fine. That's what he should have been most worried about to begin with not if the car had a tiny little dent. I understand how you feel, hon.

We can understand when DHs are under pressure at work and really stressed out, but there are limits to what reasonable treatment is... My DH is really good, an angel really, but he had a very very rought patch in Oct-Nov-Dec last year and his stress levels were all over the place. On top of that I was in the early weeks feeling like an lifeless amoeba. He sometimes had attitudes like the ones you describe from your DH so I completely understand. It might be good for you to talk to him (after he apologises, of course!) and try to make him understand, in my case it worked and I'm sure your DH will see it as well.

Hope this helps, Daisy. Don't feel down, happy thoughts going that way.

I'm so angry at the treatment Anna received at the hospital since Feb 23, when she started feeling pain, I hope they receive the answers they deserve.
I knew about mothers losing their babies at this stage and even afterwards... I knew a teacher at a school where I taught in Arg. who had a still birth at 38 1/2 weeks. I just couldn't believe it... I was shocked to my core... I didn't know those things could happen...

Bunny Sweet present for your DH, I think it's not a bad idea at all.

tee, hope you get a well-deserved rest today.

Daisy - Agree with everyone else about waiting for your apology, you deserve one! What amazes me is that it so was in no wayyour fault. I think he should be understanding even if you had given it a bump accidently, after all everyone makes mistakes (and usually feel so bad themselves they don't need someone making it worse), but you didn't make the mistake, some other numpty did!

MrsMcJnr and laura - Sorry about your other half difficulties too, it's always hard to compromise. I definitely would second a rota for you dh, if he won't do it on his own he needs to be told!

Okay, I need to say something here, and I'm afraid you'll all think I am cold and callous, but I think we all need to keep in mind that what happened to Anna's baby is rare. Really rare. And we all (me too) need to stop thinking it is going to happen to us.

I feel horrible for Anna, I cried for about 2 hours about it yesterday. And then my baby kicked me. Over and over again.

I know we are all sad. I know we all feel bad for her. But none of us did anything wrong, telling her to go for a private scan wouldn't have changed anything. They did scan every time she went, and the baby was fine every time.

These things happen. I am just afraid we are all going to scare ourselves into not enjoying these last few months.

I know we are all tired, and some of have colds or feel achy or what have you. But I would be really surprised if anyone the rest of us have to go through what Anna is going through right now.

So everyone, try to relax a little. Slow down if you feel you need to. Don't if you feel you don't need to. Count your kicks. And if you have any concerns, phone your midwife.

Hugs to everyone.

tee i dont think you sound cold or callous my lovely. we've all got everyone elses best interests at heart after all. hugs back

Anna- read your dreadfully sad news last night but just couldn't think of anything to write that could possibly ease your pain. I still can't, my best wishes to you and your dp, look after each other and take care, you are in my thoughts XX

Daisy- I think once your dh comes to his senses you need to have a sit down and a talk, Sorry to be personal but have you discussed how the finances are going to work after the babies born.... he shouldn't in anyway be refering to things as his as it should be our.... good luck and make sure he understands that babies DO change things.

Dreamy- what 7 seater did you get we ended up with a Kia Sedona, and so far I'm loving it!!

Think that's it for now back to the drudge that is never ending housework.... as quick as I clean one room the dd's see a "new" clear space to play cue MORE MESS!!!!!

Dorisxx

See doris this is why I don't tidy! Sit down and have a cuppa instead!

Tee- xposted but throughly agree I am desperately sad for anna and I hope she gets the answers she deserves, but worrying ourselves sick will do none of us any good. We will just remember anna and cleo in our thoughts x

Oh and Laura- It would be a good idea to start to cut back on the hours you do, with my first I was down to 10-2 the last few weeks (I had a V understanding boss!!!)

Only problem then is they want to climb on sit with me!!!! so I fend them off the bump instead!!!

Well said, Tee. I know 2 mums who lost their LOs at 8 months for reasons which nobody could have discovered earlier, but those incidents were 20 years apart and it is a rare occurrence. Anna sent all of us her best wishes for the rest of our pregnancies, which was a really thoughtful and positive way to end her difficult msg. While being aware of the fact that it ain't over till we've successfully delivered these babies, it's not good to get too fearful, even though it is dreadful news.

Daisy I am at your DH! When I scraped my then boyfriend, now DH's, beloved Vauxhall Nova against a wall in an incident which was entirely my fault, the first thing he said when I rang to tell him was 'are you OK?' followed by 'don't worry, accidents happen'. Your DH should be annoyed at the careless door-basher, not you! Hope he comes to his senses and apologises very soon. As Naat says, men can get like this, probably because they're not so good at talking about their stresses so it comes out in their behaviour. Also some men find pregnancy generally hard to deal with especially if their partner is usually energetic, independent and efficent - suddenly having to be the one who rubs feet, makes tea and offers comfort can be a bit of a culture shock for them.

Lauraloo It's true that lots of women work very hard up until term - and in many countries they then plop out the baby and carry on working - but that doesn't mean everybody else can or should follow suit! Full time work plus Saturday seems like a lot to me and it's not so much about the health of the baby - I can understand why your gran wants to find a 'reason' for her loss, but even stressed-out and exhausted women give birth to healthy babies - but for you, and your preparation for being a mum. The more relaxed you are before the birth, the better you'll cope with labour and looking after your new LO. So don't be guilty about needing to cut back, do what's right for you.

On the work front I am going to cut back, FIL fully understands my decision solely because I am tired all the time and being cranky...which no one likes esp poor DH. Hopefully my longer breaks now at the weekends will make me a more happier chilled out mum to be(also more time to spend money on the impending arrival of baby )

tee you're right about what you said about the rarity of what happened to Anna suppose it just hits home that these things can still happen, but like you said no reason to make us not enjoy these last few monthswe have left, enjoying every kcik and every movement we feel

doris tee is right go and have a cuppa

Well, I've cut back to 4 days a week laura so I totally understand the need to do so!

I also just got the baby's first non-family gift...its a pair of booties with pandas on them from a good friend of mine in Canada! SO CUTE!!!

And I agree that what happened to Anna was way to close to home for all of us. I feel horrible for her. But I also think we need to remember its still okay to complain about the aches and pains and exhaustion!!!

ermintrude13 I blame you for having me staring in the horizon, daydreaming about foot rubs (and pedicures) ;)

daisy I hope dh's apology is forthcoming. are you going to antenatal classes together? It's made dh realise a lot of things about pregnancy and the effect is has on me. (hence maybe mould his behaviour a bit, I was amazed to discover dh actually knew where the tumble drier was...and how to switch it on!).(next, the washing machine & dishwasher).

Tee Thanks for your kind words, you're not cold at all.

laura Can you take a weekend off and see how you feel?

Waves to everybody else, and back to work!

laura sorry xposted, nice one about getting ur weekends back!

My glider chair has just arrived and dh is putting it together :D

/me swaps getting back to work with having a cup of tea.

Happy for you, Lauraloo !!

Good to know you'll have that time for yourself (and some shopping, of course )

I keep meaning to say daisy absolutely stay in the spare room until he apologizes. How awful he is being to you!

June, x post!
Yey! Glad that you have your chair Enjoy your cup of tea!

Doris - my dd is 3 years, so this has been driving me nuts for 3 years now!! What should happen and does happen is two completely different things. Many spouses miss the second income and some see belongings as 'theirs' because they are the one bringing in the income. A lot of young mothers feel guilty not to be contributing.

I wouldn't usually raise this on this site, but as WW3 breaks out, it is good to let off steam.

He is very generous and kind, he just isn't great at being 'we' and is, mostly, meticulous with his possessions. Still 'the lady is not for budging' this time!

laura - If you are tired, it sounds wise. The listening to your body thing applies to many things....pregnancy, childbirth, first few months....if you 'feel/know' something isn't right, you have to make a change/fuss.

My doctor made stupid noises about DD being 'just a normal crying baby'. I knew something was wrong. Absolutely certain. I went to a cranial osteopath and they diagnosed 'reflux' and said to mention this to the doctor. The doctors response, ''ll give you Baby Gaviscon and if it makes a difference then your baby probably has reflux'. It made a difference but not a dramatic one, and we later discovered it was more serious than we realised and the doctors should have prescribed stronger medicine. I just didn't make a big enough fuss (I did calmly lay done some fairly strong facts through).

Lauraloo - don't know if this is helpful to you, btu I've managed to cut down by taking a day's annual leave a week over the next 10 weeks until I leave for mat leave on May 15. But rather than take it as a full day off, I've split the hours so I work 24 hours over 4 days instead of my usual 8 hour days. This means working 11.30 am - 5.30pm - much less stressful! I don't know if you have annual leave entitlement though, so sorry if this isn't helpful.

Tee thank you for your sensible comments. I think you're right. If Anna requires any of us to write to her hospital to testify to her ongoing anxiety and ill-treatment, I am certainly happy to do so.

Stillbirth under any circumstances is terrible. But it is rare in the UK, as Ermitude points out. I have the privilege of working with women from DR Congo - which is quite possibly the only place that genuinely befits the description "hell on earth". I'm sure you can imagine the awful stories I hear about ante and post natal mortality; I won't add to our distress by repeating them now. But we are so tremendously fortunate to be pregnant in the developed world.

None of this diminishes poor Anna's pain, obviously. It is just unbearable.
A hug to all your precious bumps.

looouise I have annual leave entitlement, but rather than starting my Mat leave in May I am starting it in June and using my 4 weeks holiday to finish the beginning of May I have 37 working days left until I knock off so I'm sure I'll survive this, it was the constant working at weekends with my FIl that tires me out

meant to add tho...thanks for the pointers louise didn't mean to seem rude by not thanking everyone else as well its been greatly appreciated

Laura - Glad you've come to an agreement on cutting back your hours!

I feeling very pleased right now - not with myself as I have been skiving most of the afternoon but - with dh who has passed his driving test! woo hoo!

Congrats to your DH, LittleSarah!!!

laura on your making a decision about working hours. bet you'll be counting down those 37 days left

littlesarah congrats to your dh.

'I feel horrible for Anna, I cried for about 2 hours about it yesterday. And then my baby kicked me. Over and over again.'

Sorry to butt in, but I really don't think this sort of comment is appropriate. Yes, stillbirth is (relatively) rare, but when it happens to you (1, 1000), it certainly does not feel rare-suddenly it is everywhere. I really think the conversation would have died down naturally without you feeling you had to 'steer everyone back on course' and move away from the subject. I don't think that post should be left hanging around on the internet for people to read as to be honest it sounds pretty crass. I would not usually intrude, but as this topic has come into the Pregnancy forum, you have drawn attention to the specific circumastances.
It has clearly made you feel uncomfortable, but your 'support' seems pretty flimsy. I don't want to get into a discussion, but I would really consider your words, which stay 'in print', a little more carefully in the future.