July 2009 Part III

[Mij]

Hope no-one minds me kicking this one off - 39 pages seemed a bit unmanageable!

Had 20 week scan today. Tiddler unco-operative to start with (although not as bad as DD was - took 3 goes to see everything) and it looks like most of the bits are in the right places. Decided right at the very last minute not to find out the sex. Realised that, if DD thinks she's going to have a sister, that nothing, not even photographic evidence, will change her mind anyway. So stuck with the 'don't ask don't tell' as per first time around and will just have to wait to sort out all the sodding clothes 'til we know what we've got.

Although... What do gonads look like on a scan?! Got a very good look at the hips from underneath, so to speak, and thought I saw two little bright spots, but that could be the sitting bones of course. Anyone tell me what the crown jewels look like on a scan?!

Well BF text last night with a jumbled msg which I decoded as meaning ''I can't deal with this now, lets have a break and get back together when baby is nearly hear''. I told him that if we split now we wont be gettin back together in a month or 2. He then text me at 2am(!!) sayin that me n him aren't gonna work but he still wants to be a Dad to his son. I've told him he will still have to change his ways (ie stop behaving like a 18 year old lad gettin pissed n taking drugs every weekend) and that we'll have to work out how things are gonna work. He thinks it's just as simple as I just let him see him but it's not as simple as that. I need to do some serious thinking about how much I want him to be involved, I want him to see baby but I'll need to live my own life and don't want him there all the time. I don't even know whether I'll want him at the birth.
I'm totally shattered today since I've been awake half the night thinking about things .

Ilikeyoursleeves I'm planning on finishing work at 36 weeks too. However, I am wondering whether I might be better finishing earlier cos if I'm gonna be a single Mum I'll get my lower income topped up with benefits so I might not be any worse off for finishing earlier. I'm not a benefit scrounger by the way, never claimed a penny in my life but gonna have to now!

Hunny, but at least you know ((hugs))

BTW has anybody seen any maternity denim skirts anywhere? I've tried Next, Topshop, New Look and DP but only found one in Topshop but it was a skinny pencil skirt and with my huge child bearing hips it's not ideal.

Vertbaudet

hi all, been trying to catch up on all the news! enjoying my day off today, have just stuck dd in front of the little mermaid for fewe minutes peace!
bumpsize working in mine and mums shop i see so many people, alot regulars who think nothing of telling me how big i am, one woman even said my bump looked like it had dropped so any day now! i find it really upsetting and am finding myself covering my bump when i shouldnt be ashamed of it! ive put on about 8-9lbs is that alot? last time round i was very overweight and didnt actually put any on but lost it so have no clue about weight gain!
maternityleave as business is getting quiet me and mum jhave decided she'll take over full running of shop as from 1st june ill be nearly 34 weeks. my sciaticca is so bad im in agaony all day and night with it!
gillyan i fell down a flight of stairs too whilst 5 months pg with dd! its not very nice i hope you feel better soon!
hunny like others have said i think you seem quite strong minded to make the right decision, he sounds a bit like my brother. he wanted kids but still wanted to behave like a teenager. unfortunately nothing changed and him and his ex have since seperated. god that sounds horrid, i dont want you to think blokes dont change!
my dp pisses the hell off out of me with hs behaviour sometimes. he works long hours and i know his jobs stressful nbut i look after dd when he's at work by t aking her to work with me, which anyone with a 2 year old will know is impossible to control and try to get to behave! but in 2 years only 2-3 times has he got up with her and got her ready in mornings its always me. he lies in bed on his days off til i need to leave then will get her back in bed with him grrr! saying that tho, he does do ALL the housework and nearly ALL the cooking so beggars cant be choosers! my moan over!
anyway since we're giving away where we live, i live near leicester!

Lillabet I totally understand the grouchy hormones! The sad thing re bumpsizes, even if you do look pg people barge past you on the train. When I was temping a few weeks ago I had 3 people shove their elbows to my tum and nearly had an argument with a young woman about me getting to sit on the tube seat she was lunging for. I am not huge but my tummy definitely looks pg.

People are just rude at times.

Mat leave - ahhhhh this is the 1st time I haven't had to worry about this. My last 2 pg I worked 3 weeks before the due date (and only got 2 weeks on my own as DS was a week early) and 4 weeks before my due date (a week early again with DD so only had 3 weeks). I regret not taking more time off in my 1st pg before the baby was born. I really could have used the 'me time'. 2nd time round didn't matter as already had a child to care for...it was more about spending time with him before the new arrival. Whatever you all decide just remember to rest!!!

Where has all the nice weather gone ?

Phoenix
I like the skirts!

We fancy a long weekend in Cornwall in May - anyone know any good places which are family friendly - cottages or hotels both gladly received....?
We don't want to spend loads as its not our main holiday so really max budget of £450 for 4 nts probably.
Any tips welcome!
Thanks

lydia no 8-9 lbs isn't a lot, I've put on a stone now and MW told me that was about normal considering I'm over half way through and supposed to put on about 2 stone in total.

bumbsize I think my bump hasn't really grown much lately, but I do defo look pg now rather than just fat. I find it so frustrating when ppl push past me etc when I'm clearly pregnant!

Hey all - I'm near Manchester. I'm only finishing work 2 weeks before the baby is due (all being well). I'd rather have the time off with the baby than on my own int he house pottering. Last time my DD was 2 weeks late so it was 4 weeks from when I finished. Quite a wait. Hoping this one is a bit more punctual

Ouch at falling downstairs! hope you're okay. baby should be well protected though.

I'm in Manchester too.

Hi All,

Im in Norbury London, close to Croydon. Anyone from my neck of the woods fancy meeting up?
Gap has some really nice denim skirts, i think its about £20-30?

Maternity - i'll be finishing mid June , around 35 weeks. Hopefully i'll be able to make it until then, as Ive been temping for the past 5 years so wont be getting SMP but do qualify for Mat Allowance. Have been saving like crazy as we wont be able to live on DP's salary alone.

Anyone else really short of breath lately or am I just unfit? Im completely winded at the smallest jobs so feel flustered most of the time!

Preg belly, mine still looks more fat than pg, so I catch many people on the tube double checking before they offer me a seat LOL

Hugs hunny - as a right old codger, can I just add that I have seen some seriously hard-partiers (men and women) totally clean up their acts when a baby arrives? I'm not suggesting that should in any way be taken as an assumption, but just as a case for a little optimism - I think it can be hard for men to anticipate how much a baby can get to them. I'm not a bad-behaviour apologist, but even the most well-intentioned dad-to-be can't really have the kind of connection a pregnant mum does. Good luck with whatever decision you come to.

JetLi pmsl at your non-commando status. The same thing happened to me in my last pg, but luckily it was a warm day and I had a redundant jumper with me, so i had to tie it around my waist like an apron! I was wearing v. small pants so I felt very exposed .

stretch marks I was led to believe you're genetically vulnerable or you're not. I've got them on my thighs from teenage growth-spurts (and later from too much cake) so I just assumed I'd get them, but first pg I got away with it - DD was a small bump though, and I had a comfy covering of fat to take up the slack. Holding my breath this time around.

Gillyan glad to hear you seem to have survived your sudden decent unscathed

Patchy sympathies with the spd. I have it mildly and rely on pilates to keep all my bits and pieces together, but I know how painful it can be .

Maternity leave I've planned to leave on 19th too, when I'll be 37wks exactly, but I know it won't happen - I work in a tiny company with my DP, so even when I stay away from work, it follows me .

MissP sounds like you've got all the bfing guns at the ready!

location ah, well, I enjoy my anonymity on mumsnet [swishes cloak mysteriously around shoulders] but I'm prepared to say I'm in Yorkshire, although not a native.

Belgrano we're blowing our (non-existent) holiday budget on Forest Holidays at Deer Park in Cornwall, but it's pricey cos it's Easter - drops a lot outside school hols.

bumpsizes I'm still in the 'look like I've eaten all the pies' camp, unless I'm wearing a coat, in which case it's much more obvious. I think it depends on what shape you go. As I'm, err, generous of hip (although usually blessed with a shapely waist) I have lots of accommodation inside for a small baby, so I just kind of gently expand outwards, like a bouncy castle. My skinnier mates tend to do the basketball thing, which IME makes people look 'more' pg earlier. I started to get really upset last time when, at 7.5 months, people still didn't notice I was pg. I got quite forthright at asking people for seats on public transport, and generally found them very obliging - once they realised. The only exception was the tube, but I'm rarely in London these days so not much of an issue.

I was fully prepared first time around, for people to manhandle my bump, as I'd been warned that you seem to become public property when you're pregnant, but no-one touched me. Maybe that's because, according to DP, I can be a bit intimidating! Perhaps I was exuding a 'touch my stomach and I'll t**t you' vibe . But this time, someone has actually prodded, yes, prodded my stomach and said 'not much baby there is there?' I was stuck for words. Doesn't happen often...

ooh im so jealous i wish we were going on holiday! it'll be a day trip to skegness if we're lucky!
have just found out we have been invited to a wedding 2 weeks before my due date! what the hell am i going to wear?? i just have visions of me in a tent type dress with a sweat moustache looking like a whale! plus its in manchester so about a 2 1/2 hour drive each way!
i have a quick question for mij have you or do you know anyone who has used a close baby carrier?? have been madly researching and love the look of this one as i get on really well with a normal ring sling.
trousers popping when i was only about 12 weeks pregnant, i think, i had a hair bobble holding my trousers together at the button, it snapped on the bus ouch!

hi everyone - i am in cumbria.

been on the train to manchester today for a course and back is wrecking now! far too much sitting down for one day. counting down to DS' bedtime - going to have a hot bath followed by a takeaway to make me feel better.

sorry to say it hunny but if drink n drugs are more important to him when you are pregnant you are best off without him.(i had to end things with my DH about 2 years ago - it was only losing us which forced him to sort himself out - which he now thankfully has) it killed me to make him go but i had to put me and DS first.) i personally think you are doing the best thing you can for yourself and your little boy.

re the birth have the person you trust most in the world to be there for you - are you close to your mum?

mat leave i'm going to try to work up to the second week of july when the schools break up. that way i can hopefully have 2 weeks with DS before baby arrives.

i finished 4 weeks before due date last time and really regretted it when DS was 2 weeks overdue and i was back at work the following year when he was 5 months old, not 6. i felt like i'd wasted 6 precious weeks with him.

Evening all,

I've just made a spaghetti carbonara for dinner - yum! At home again this evening as DP is studying... it can be lonely so at least I'll have someone to keep me company in a few months time

mat leave i am leaving two weeks before i'm due... really wanted to maximise my pay as well as time with the baby so figured that should be fine. the doctor asked me when i was going to leave work and i told her two weeks before and she said 'really? do you think you'll be able to go that long?' i think i will, it's just i do have lower back pain and now my right leg has started aching badly the minute i walk somewhere that's over 5 minutes away...

i bought some new clothes today as i had to go into central london for work today - debenhams has lots of floaty tops etc so i got a few bright ones for the more summery weather, but yeah where has that sunshine gone???

i'm shattered today!!!!! prob to do with going into central london...

bumpsize i have quite an obvious bump now, it took a while but at 25 weeks it's definitely there... i honestly think that people make bump remarks because they haven't got a clue how you feel when you're pg. i know now i'm probably one of those people who offended someone by saying oh you're very big/small etc... and i'm not a meanie!!!

phoenix that denim skirt is lovely on the verbaudet site! might have to get one myself!

ok i think i better stop there - don't forget the apprentice is on tonight!!! i love that show!

PS I'm in SW London...

Hi Guy's, I'm in Macclesfield, Cheshire..

Maternity leave - I am being a reet cheeky sod and am finishing when I'm 27 weeks!!!!! But it is only as it falls that way. I work Mon, Wed, Fri and my last day is 8th April as the Friday 10th is Good Friday then the bank hol monday folowing then I'm taking just over 4 weeks of holiday then my maternity leave will kick from the 17th May. So it seems really early but I cannot wait to go. I'm not going back as so fed up with where I work, been there for 4 n half years and am losing the will to live. I have totally fallen out of love with my job soit's time to leave and also I'm going to really struggle to put 2 kids in nursery so I'm going to be SAHM for a couple years, let DD get settled at school and then look for something kid friendly I think. I work as an Investment Advisor now and can always go back to that in years to come. Anyone else thinking of not returning to work??

hunny hope you're okay, you do sound so level headed so I'm sure you will be okay. Just keep thinking about what is best for you and baby as no one else matters. With my ex I took the attitude of I wold rather my DD never see him than what little I expected he could offer her and I feel cruel sometimes as I made the decision that she didn't him inher life but I know 10 times over that I made the right one and hope she see's it that way when she's older.

I won a weekend break worth £250 from work today for achieving 214% of my sales targets!! Well chuffed and reckon that will be the only 'holiday' we have this year.

Off for a bubble bath - It'sseems to be my craving again and it was last time I was Pg too xx

Ooooo I'm looking forward to The Apprentice too! I've missed Sirrrralan, and thinking when the final is on I'll be 34 weeks and nearly finished work wooooo hoooooo!

Gillyan your hospital experience made me smile Once the midwife knew how daft must she have felt! A kind of, oh my goodness I'm losing my touch, moment

Lillabet I do also think it's hurtful to ladies who have small bumps to comment on that. Have heard comments like, you're small, have they said how big they think your baby is?? How worrying is that!? Someone should make a t shirt with a relevant slogan like 'No comments on bump size please!'and on the back '& I won't comment on your droopy bits!'

hunny What a position for you to be in right now But sure you'll do what's right for you. Someone once said to me that you make the same mistakes over and over until you learn from them. That applies to your BF too. Just be happy and live your life the way you truly want to! xxx

Oooh Belgrano, just read your post about Cornwall and have to recommend here. It's fab for the kids and the cottages are lovely. We're going in September for the 2nd time

It could be fully booked for May though it's quite popular but keep it in mind

Aargh, typed up a long post last night and then my computer crashed and I lost it all. I also lost the will to live so didn't re do it!!

I did nothing all day yesterday to try to take the pressure off my pelvis! Good excuse! Think it worked as by last night it was still not to bad and I could walk much better than the night before. As a result I spent a lot of time on line and spent more money than I should have done!

I splashed out on some maternity pj's for now and after birth. Last 2 times I wore dh t shirts, but decided to indulge myself! He was quite surprised when I told him I had bought some! Cheeky sod! (Haven't told him about the dress that will come with the order!!!)

Gillyan I am a SAHM at the moment. I went back to work when DS was 6 months and then worked till I had DD. I went back to work when she was 2 but it was in a nursery school (i am a teacher) and she came too. It was perfect. I gave up in July 08, long story, job had taken over my life really. It is great, I do work one day a week at their school which I will continue for as long as possible.

For those of you planning your mat leave, be really flexible with dates. I planned to work to the last few weeks with both of my dc, but was forced to give up at 32 weeks both times because of high blood pressure.

Have a good day everyone xx

miss baby has just thrown a glass of water back up at me. for goodness sake what has she possibly got against H20?? i think i overdid it yesterday with the early start, train trip etc. just edging towards a banana and hoping i dont see it again!!

hope everyone has a great day.

mickey me too! My crunchy nut cornflakes came back to greet me only moments after eating them this morning