July 2009 Part III

[Mij]

Hope no-one minds me kicking this one off - 39 pages seemed a bit unmanageable!

Had 20 week scan today. Tiddler unco-operative to start with (although not as bad as DD was - took 3 goes to see everything) and it looks like most of the bits are in the right places. Decided right at the very last minute not to find out the sex. Realised that, if DD thinks she's going to have a sister, that nothing, not even photographic evidence, will change her mind anyway. So stuck with the 'don't ask don't tell' as per first time around and will just have to wait to sort out all the sodding clothes 'til we know what we've got.

Although... What do gonads look like on a scan?! Got a very good look at the hips from underneath, so to speak, and thought I saw two little bright spots, but that could be the sitting bones of course. Anyone tell me what the crown jewels look like on a scan?!

Phoenix and Misspaella Aw, thanks Will let you know how it goes; it's DS' puppy (he's 12) Puppy's a hungarian vizsla and hope sure all will be fine. DS has signed a contract to exercise 2x daily, so dog should be (and breed is supposed to be) quiet around the home.
Had a labrador when DS was born (other DS 9 at time), never had a problem with him but don't think you should leave children with pets without supervision. Would never trust a dog with a baby/toddler. Know some dogs/cats cope with children clambering over them but never believed in it Think it can be a recipe for disaster Other aspect is the constant cleaning/disinfecting, especially when have crawling baby. My house never cleaned as much as when have a dog but it's tiring!!

Even have holiday booked 4 wks after my due date (there's optimism!) taking eldest DS1, his girlfriend, DS2, dog, DP (of course) and last but not least ickle baby. I definitely, purposefully attract stress into my life!!

Anyway, not home alone tonight, so taking opportunity of DS puppy sitting to have a shower. Have a good night everyone! xxx

Its a girl!

Had a sexing scan this morning as NHS won't tell us in these parts, I had an inkling but wasn't certain. DD (2+2months)has learnt to say baby sister today.

Had a really nice day pottering in the garden, getting the seed spuds out to sprout and going for a walk this afternoon in the sunshine to look at the snow drops. I'm going to be gutted when the weather turns as today really felt like spring.

Message withdrawn

woollyjo Big congratulations!! So many friends I know who've had/having a boy, they're gonna be fighting over the girls

Hello all - found you on this new thread. How do you customise it so its all on one screen? Such a dunce. Hope all's well.
I saw the physio for SPD last week - an hour and a bit appt - I was SO impressed with the NHS for once! I have loads of exercises to do, which I have to do at least 3 times a day and another appt in 3 wks. Awesome.

Congrats on your girl WoollyJo

Belgrano - click on customise at the top and change away

bonzo I have definately entered the permenantly starving faze - I am eating constantly at the moment and I still don't feel full!

I have now uploaded my scan pic Impressed as it is really quite clear. It paid off having all those drinks before hand. Found out my placenta it at the top at the front which explains why they have only ever been able to find the heartbeat of the baby really low down.
Glad those of you suffering with SPD are being taken seriously it's much better than the come back when you need a wheelchair approach I received last time!

Hello ladies. Sorry to be quiet for couple of weeks; doing a horrendous redundancy round of work that has taken up all my energies. Now brief respite until the next one kicks off in two weeks time.

Despite that all well at my end. Had a scan last week and everything looks very good - although horrifically ugly. I'll spare you all my scan pictures ! Well done to everyone who has had succesful scans over the last couple of weeks: great news ! I had a bit of a shock on Friday night when I went to see the Ob-Gyn on my own and he said that there was a possibilility that I could deliver early because of my fibroids. He started talking about anytime from 30 weeks. OMG that's in 13 weeks time ! So shocked that I forgot to ask whether this was a 5% likelihood or 50%. So dh will have to call him tomorrow.

Interviewed two nannies today as I have to go back to work after 5 months - both so excellent it's amazing. Think they're only willing to consider us 'cos of the credit crunch. One's been overseas wth a royal family for crisssakes ! Seemed a bit taken aback by our slovenly hovel so hope one of them accepts the job. So tired afterwards had to retire to sofa for 3 hour nap. Now have to get all paperwork and other rubbish that normally litters kitchen out of cupboards where I hid it. Still pie for supper ! Your majesty ....

Hiya ladies, hope everyone is well.
Got my scan tomorrow I'm sooo excited, I woke up this morning feeling all giddy and then realised that it's tomorrow not today lol.

BF has been a complete arse this weekend!!! I can't really be bothered going in to all the ins and outs of it all but he's doing my head in! He drinks far too much and it's really starting to bother me. On Saturday he rang me and was telling me that he's going to take me out at weekend for my birthday and treat me like a princess and that I might be getting an engagement ring (he's said this a few times lately). But then yesterday he wouldn't answer the phone to me and he sent me a text saying ''stop ringing me'' and I sent him a text about whether we're going to find out the sex or not tomos and he just sent one back saying ''I couldn't care less''. It's all down to the drink making him depressed the next day. When he's got a straight head he's so excited about the baby and as far as he's concerned it couldn't come soon enough but he just keeps going hot and cold like this but I don't know how much more of it I can cope with. I'm seriously thinking it might just be easier having this baby on my own!
I'm so stressed with everything at the mo, I'm get heart palpitations, not sleeping properly and I've lost 3lbs in the last couple of days. I'm considering going to the Doc's and getting signed off work with stress but I'd feel bad cos we're really busy at the mo. But I'm sat and my desk at the mo and I feel like I'm just going to burst out crying and walk out any minute!

Oh hunny, you really don't need the stress if its making you ill {{hugs}}. Does he think he has a drink problem? At least if he admitted it he could get some help

He knows that he's got a problem but I don't think he really sees it as a problem, if that makes sense?
I know he's still grieving for his friend who died around New Year but the drink really isn't helping. He knows he's going OTT at the mo but he says that he's just getting out of his system whilst he can cos he wont want to do it when the baby comes. The problem with that is that it's affecting our relationship and making me not enjoy the pregnancy the way that I should be

Hi girls,
Congrats to all on their 20 week scans - it's fantastic isn't it?! I had my scan today - so emotional! It was soooo exciting, I just can't get anything done as I'm staring at the scan pics the whole time. Apparently everything is developing 'beautifully' so we're over the moon. It was funny knowing the sonographer knew the sex (I asked her could she tell and she could) and we don't... It feels like I can really plan and think about things realistically now
Sorry to hear about your BF hunny, sounds like you need a break if it is causing you so much stress. Make sure you talk to your GP about it all.
Ok better try to get some work done now!

hunny that doesn't sound good. Feeling like you're facing a choice between raising a child alone and raising one with someone with an alcohol problem must be very stressful. But I'm worried - if he's this moody now, how will he be with a crying baby? It might not be easier having the baby on your own but it maybe safer, for both of you.

maidinamerica hope you find a nanny that suits. If it's a buyer's market, hold out till you find the one who really gets you in the heart. You want kindness above all else, and respect for your way of doing things (when you find out what that is! Hope the fibroids thing isn't stressing you out - I'm sure finding out probability will help .

Can't concentrate today. Feeling very guilty that I'm not working flat-out when we're so stretched as it is. Really not looking forward to recruiting my maternity cover. We didn't make a great decision last time and my job is so wide-ranging it's hard to know which skills to concentrate on when hiring someone else.

Does he know you are thinking of doing this alone if he doesn't sort himself out? Hearing it might make him think. But if not, sorry to say, you might be better off doing it alone {{{hugs}}} It must be so hard for you

My back is feeling loads better, but not completely, with not been at work but that is because i've basically been sat on my arse since Thursday () so i know if i went back i'd be in agony again. I'm expecting my manager ringing me today to discuss me getting signed off my sicknote early and going back but on light duties. I really don't want to go back though.

My scan on Wednesday, i'm so excited. Will be finding out the sex and then maybe going shopping

Congtras on everyones scans!

hunny U poor thing, your BF sounds like a total nightmare! I had my first baby onmy own - I had already split up with the guy when I found out I was pregnant and had no intention of getting back with him - I was like you though with the heart palpitations and stress - he was stressing me out trying to be involved but just couldn't quite be interested enough unless it was to try and bopss me around - I was sick of his lifestyle too which I was I split up with him - I soon found that i did not care a bit about him and just wanted to be on my own and have the baby my way - from what you've said it's sounds like u would be better just wiping the slate clean and doing this your way. Men like this always seem to think they will change when the baby comes but it needs to start the minute you've noth decided to be parents. Urgh feel so angry for you, fucking men! Hope you're okay xx

Just for a change I am sooo ill. Was so violently sick on saturday that Ihave burst a blood vessel inmy eye!

Ironing - I have only ever ironed DD's things really as most of my clothes dry lovely and flat. Dp pn the othe rhand gets through so many clothes and I hate ironing his shirts and endless pairs of trousers and jeans - pleased to say I can't remember the last time I did any ironing and Dp does it all! He's so good ( I do play on the back ache and offer to do it and he won't hear of it!'

really stuggling on names for little baby girl! we had loads and keep going off them now so God knows what we'll end up calling her.

Going to go back to bed now with my book.

I told him on Saturday that I think I might be better doing this on my own (after another argument) and then various things were said that we both regret but then we both apologised and he made a load of promises, all of which look like he's unlikely to keep!
I need to talk to him in a few days when he's got a straight head and I can talk to him calmly.
I know it would be difficult on my own but I have great family and friends, my mum and dad can't wait to be grandparents and I know they'll help me loads. He's such hard work sometimes and if he doesnt sort himself out it'll be like looking after 2 children and I can't cope with all these ups and downs all the time, at least if I was on my own I would know where I stand.
Plus there's the matter of what is best for baby, I really want the perfect little family but I just don't know whether he's capable of doing it, I don't want my baby growing up in a house where it's mum and dad are fighting and where it's dad is coming and going out of it's life all the time. I just want stability for both me and baby.

Thanks Gillyan it helps to know I'm not the only one to find myself in this situation. It does make me more frustrated that we both wanted this baby for a long time, it's partly my own fault for getting pregnant to a guy with these issues but I'd never un-wish this baby, whether I'm with him or not I want this baby soooo much.
I just wish I could be as strong as you, I keep just forgiving him and believing him when he says he'll change. The problem is, no matter what a tosser he is I still love him to bits!
I'm thinking I maybe need to start putting my foot down with him the way his mum does, she doesn't let him go near the house or ring them when he's drunk!

Aww maybe when baby comes though you will only have eyes for little one, it's amazing how your priorities change. Just rememebr this is such an emotionally draining time for you being pregnant and you've just got to be selfish and think about whats best for you. I know how hard it is though xx

Gillyan - We're finding girls names really hard too. Dh is dead set on Morgan for a girl which i do like but i just keep thinking about it been unisex and most names i like he doesn't. He won't really talk about names until we find out the sex

I like Larke, DH hates it.

I like Evie for a girl, BF doesn't like it, ah well at least if I get shut of him I can name baby what I like...every cloud has a silver lining! lol

baby names -

I like Ruby, Madeline, Imogen. DP hates Ruby and has now gone off madeline and Imogen. Got 3 baby name books and nothing is standing out. Don't have any interesting foreign blood or anything to be influenced by and we don't like any of our parents/grandparents names.

DD is called Grace Melody and I had that pixked by about 20wks last time and knew I had the perfect name. It was going to be Max or Luke if she had been a boy.

I don't really like names that can be shortened that are quite common such as I like Melissa but would hate mel. And I like Alexis or Alexia but would hate Alex. We both like Isobelle but again would hate Izzy.

Gillyan Grace Melody is a beautiful name, my sister is a Grace but we couldn't think of a name that was pretty enough to go with it so she's not got a middle name but Melody is lovely.

I also like Ruby but it's number 2 on the popularity chart and I'd hate for there to be 3 other Rubys in her class at school. I'm the opposite to u tho, I like names that can be shortened or varied, altho I would agee that I don't like Alex or Mel but I do quite like Izzy.

It's such a difficult decision to make, we've had boy's name (Charlie) picked from about 12 weeks!

DD is an Izzy - we liked the fact she could choose alternative shortenings (eg Bella or something) or stick to the full version when she wants to lose the cuter nickname.

We're stuffed for names though. We can't agree on a boy's name and it feels like we used up our top choices for a girl by rejecting them last time! Our surnames are also a bugger to get first names to fit well with. I have a really anal thing about rhythm and not-clashing consonant or vowels sounds [rolls eyes].