July 2009 Part III

[Mij]

Hope no-one minds me kicking this one off - 39 pages seemed a bit unmanageable!

Had 20 week scan today. Tiddler unco-operative to start with (although not as bad as DD was - took 3 goes to see everything) and it looks like most of the bits are in the right places. Decided right at the very last minute not to find out the sex. Realised that, if DD thinks she's going to have a sister, that nothing, not even photographic evidence, will change her mind anyway. So stuck with the 'don't ask don't tell' as per first time around and will just have to wait to sort out all the sodding clothes 'til we know what we've got.

Although... What do gonads look like on a scan?! Got a very good look at the hips from underneath, so to speak, and thought I saw two little bright spots, but that could be the sitting bones of course. Anyone tell me what the crown jewels look like on a scan?!

JetLi I have had mine, the MW gave it to me a few weeks ago, it's just a pre-populated slip, I think I may have had to fill out my name and address or something else similar and just handed it to my boss.

Does anybody know how long it should take for me to get my pregnancy excemption cirtificate back? I sen the form off 4 weeks ago and not had anything back yet. Or have I done something wrong?

Thanks hunny.

I've had my exemption cert since way before Christmas - I'm sure the community mad-wife did all the paperwork for mine on my first visit and it just arrived in the post - it's a little credit card thingy.

am i the only one who really really wants a c section?? i am terrified they wont let and i will have to go through it all again. surely this one cant be bigger than 9lb 5 tho!

mickeylou I don't want a c section but I am a first timer so I'm niave to the pain of child birth! Also my friend had a c section about 6 weeks ago and she is still very poorly so that scares me a bit.

sorry to hear about your friend hunny. i guess i am just scared about the propsect of another big baby. i only know one person who has had a c section and she preferred that experience to her first time vaginal birth. she also has big babies. in my mind the fear of the operation (and the recovery)is less than the fear of getting a ten pounder! i really dont mean to frighten any first timer tho and i do think had i had an average sized or small baby first time around i wouldnt be quite so worried. x

xxhunnyxx

I had my mat exemption form back within a week at 12 weeks.

This is the number to ring direct to the people who deal with it at the NHS business bit, they will advise you on any problems or if it has been 'misplaced' they were v helpful when mine had my name misspelled!!

0845 850 0030

hth xxx

Thanks beccabump you're a star! I've just rang them and they're sending me a new one, must have got lost in the post.

mickeylou - I'm hoping to have a section, after a forceps delivery for DD1. I've met my consultant who said she wouldn't say no (loving the double negative), but I have to go back and see her at 34 weeks to confirm it's still what I want.

I started a thread about it back in January, before I had met the consultant for the first time. It's here if you're interested.
WARNING - first timers advised not to read the thread. I was lucky last time round in that my DD and I came out of it healthy, but even so I suspect I had a much worse time than average and that's not what you want to hear about.

Message withdrawn

I think having a rough and prolonged 'normal' delivery and labour last time has actually made me want a natural labour this time. I am really still hoping for my home birth with pool - fingers crossed!!

Hi all.
I am very torn re the whole delivery thing. Have been told that I can have a c section if thats the route I want to take, but to see the consultant at 32 weeks to decide.

Both other dc have been back to back and there is therefore a high chance this one will be too. I didn't go into labour naturally as with back to back there is no pressure on the cervix and had to be induced. The result was very long and nightmarish labours with ventouse deliveries both time.

If someone could wave a magic wand and tell me that I will go into labour on my own and the baby wont be back to back then I am a natural birth all the way......but can't seem to get anyone to do that for me! Still got to 32 weeks to decide and the midwife said even if I decide to have a natural birth I can always change my mind after that.

Not much movement today, hoping when I get into bed (which will be soon as I am knackered), babe with put my mind at rest!

On the plus, just bought myself a very nice pair of shoes so hope they arrive soon!!

Have a good evening all xx

The best way to learn about breastfeeding before you have the baby is to see someone else correctly feeding a small baby. (I say small because it looks different as it gets bigger) This is one of the advantages of going to a support group antenatally that you usually observe someone feeding. Don't stress about it too much. I remember thinking the same about it being weird that milk would come out of my boobs. I remember my sister showing some of her collostrum (which is bright yellow!) and being totally awed. However when it came to it it felt so nice and normal. I think my biggest shock was the fact it comes out like a watering can spray not one hole!!! There is a good you tube video of a newborn baby self latching will try and find the link and post it on here.

This isn't the one I was thinking of as it is abroad but is fairly good to watch. The one I have seen shows the baby crawling right up the mother!
link here
I do know people who have done this sucessfully! I find it totally amazing.

Will try and find the name of the DVD for the western one.
HTH

Thanks ilkeyoursleeves and queenfee for your advice, it's such a tough decision but i think I am just going to go for it and hope for the best with a well timed episiotomy if needed. I've gone from thinking I am never EVER giving birth again without a section to thinking it will be okay as long as I tear the same or less than last time and no worse. I must be mad. Might consider an epidural this time if I can't cope with pain but am hoping I will cope seconf time round better just for knowing what to expect.. I'm sure this won't be the final decision, I almost wish someone would tell me what to do then it wouldn't be up to me.

lucasnorth just been looking at your horrible experience - hope we all get what we want and it's better than last time

Quick question - do we not get Mat B1's at 20 wks anymore? Is it now at the 25wk appoint??

I'm off to the races in a few weeks and I don't know what to wear - help me! I don't want to spend loads on something I am only going to wear once - Any suggestions Ladies?
I am very excited about going as we are going in a limo too

Sorry about the consecutive posts BTW!

hunny I think the statistic is only 2% of women don't manage to make milk or don't make enough so the chances of that happening to you are really small.

I had a tricky time with DD mostly as a result of getting poor advice from the midwives in the hospital so had cracking which led to breast thrush which the Health Visitor failed to recognise when I told her my symptoms (you feel like your boobs are peeling off for and hour after a feed). However the NCT phone line lady diagnosed it over the phone, sent me to a website to print off info and told me to take it with me to the GP (just as well the Dr was spectacularly clueless) without that I probably would have given up at 6 weeks.

Try not to stress about the feeding too much, it was/is really important to me too, I didn't find it easy at first but it did come together. As long as you have supportive friends and family you will be ok.

I had elective c-section last time, at 39+2. DS was breech but I was keen on one anyhow. It was a lovely experience, very calm, happy and relaxed. He latched on straight away in recovery. I was in for 48hrs after. It was a bit sore afterwards, but I recovered quickly and by 3 weeks was walking 2 miles each way to shops and driving before 4 weeks. I will be having another one in July, VBAC isn't for me.

I found breastfeeding hideous to start with, 3xmastitis, nipple nearly degloved etc. however once we cracked it it became very easily, and i merrily fed all over the place. Some people say they are evil things, but nipple sheilds saved us, without them i would have given up. Will be massaging nipples with sand paper from 7 months this time to prepare....

Just thought I'd tell you all about my great day.

Firstly I won a weekend break, I work in travel so a hotel has given me a freebie, it's only in Port Talbot but the hotel is nice and we're gonna book it for May bank holiday (before I'm too fat and miserable!). I thought it would be nice to have a weekend away together and enjoy some quality time whilst it's just the 2 of us.

Then I found out that an auto electrician can turn my passenger airbag off so I might not need to get a new car anymore.

Then BF found out that his boss is buying him a comany van which means that we don't have to buy him a car.

And then the best news of all is I got home from work to find that the huge tree which was blocking the sun (when we get it) from my garden has been cut down so I'll be able to enjoy my sunny garden when I'm on mat leave. Me and my neighbour have been ringing the council trying to get it sorted for 2 years so I'm delighted that it's finally been sorted .

thanks for that link lucasnorth - from reading that i know my experience was nothing compared to some. i was ok for first 24 hours at home. we went to hospital at 3am and the first 6 hours in the hospital when i was in the pool were ok too.But then they took me out of the pool for the next 4 as i was not progressing.DS was back to back and took forever to arrive. i had to have centocin? to make contractions stronger. i was so niaive to it all that i just had gas and air. DH asked at one point for something stronger and they said i was too frightened as it was and it would only make me worse? eh? i had second degree tears which did heal in time but took some doing. the prospect of another marathon labour with a big baby is really worrying me.

i have already spoken to my GP but she said it was nothing to do with her (although i looked too small to her to be delivering (9lb 5oz babies)) and i needed to talk to my midwife.

i am GP/midwife care so have not met a consultant. got an appointment at 24 weeks with m/w so am going to broach subject of c section with her then. i do feel worried about raising it as i think i will be "told off" like a naughty kid who isnt following the rules!

sorry if too much info for first timers there. from speaking to friends in r/l none of them seem to have had the same sort of experience as i had and i think i was just unlucky. xx

Good morning everyone!
Haven't been on here for absolutely ages although I have been vaguely lurking

Gillyan - MatB1 is definitely given at 20 weeks. My employers want to know 15 weeks before your due so leaving it until 25 weeks would have been too late.

QueenFe I would recommend ebay for outfits for the races. I have 3 weddings to go to in the next three months and found 2 dresses that cost me 99p each (plus a couple of pounds postage)

Mickeylou Talk to your midwife, they are normally very supportive and you may be worrying for no reason. If you really want an elective then push for it. You sound like you're a bit unsure yourself at the moment, but talking to the midwife will probably help you decide.

I'm now 25+ weeks. Had my scan ages ago and all was fine. We are expecting another boy (will be DS4). We are delighted, but haven't told anyone else that we know what it is (not even our other DS's). I am getting a bit bored with the 'I bet you're hoping for a girl' comments (in fact some days I just want punch anyone who says it ) I can honestly say I never hoped it was a girl (not even secretly!), if anything I wanted another boy.

Still being monitored for cholestasis (having had it with DS2), which means blood tests and appointments every 2 weeks, but all is well so far.

The bad news is DH got made redundant this week. Obviously really crap timing, but I'm sure we'll cope somehow.

Also meant to say:

Don't forget once you reach 25 weeks you can claim your 'Health in Pregnancy Grant'. You will need to pick up a claim form from your midwife.

Hi everyone
Hope the sun is keeping you in good spirits.

Jlo sorry to hear about your DH. If it is any consolation we're on the same boat. My DH was made redundant at Christmas and has just done some odd freelance work. You will cope and timing isn't ideal but try to not let it worry you (easier said than done, I know firsthand, but do try). Congrats on your scan results.

Queenfee there are some lovely maxi dresses out right now that would be great for the races. I have seen them at Topshop, H&M, New Look etc....I am jealous you have life outside of being a mother. I would love to have a day out.

I am so tired today. I keep waking in the night stuck on my back. I am only 24 weeks! What hope do I have of rolling from side to side when I balloon even more.

JLo were they maternity dresses because I am all bump normal dresses look naff
Sorry about your DH my DH was out of work for the duration of my pregnancy with DS so I really feel for you as it's a time when you just want everything organised and settled. Good Luck to him on the job front.

Hunny Thanks for the tip re the airbag have now asked local garage if they can disable it as Skoda refused - will save me changing the car if so big thanks!

Misspaella It dosn't happen very often but I do make an effort to do it occasionally. I go out for a chinese eat all you can with the local mums about twice a year. Some mums I know go out every couple of weeks would love to know how they afford /organise this

mickeylou I found you got treated less like a school girl in subsequent pregnancies by health pros. Just remember its your body and your baby and your life so you should get some say in it!

Absolutely loving this gorgeous weather. Shame i'm busy the weekend really fancy a trip to the beach.

Thanks for the sympathy. Trying my best to feel positive and have started my list of jobs for him while he's at home!! DH is okay with it all at the moment, although I suppose it depends how long it takes him to find a new job.

QueenFee They were both maternity dresses - I'm well beyond normal clothes now!!

Misspaella I now have a picture in my mind of you looking like a ladybird stuck on your back with your arms and legs wiggling trying to turn over
Sorry! You really do have my sympathy, I have had some really knackered days when I want to crawl into bed about 2 o'clock, but actually I have to pick the children up, do homework, make tea, take them to swimming lessons....etc etc.