July 2009 Part III

[Mij]

Hope no-one minds me kicking this one off - 39 pages seemed a bit unmanageable!

Had 20 week scan today. Tiddler unco-operative to start with (although not as bad as DD was - took 3 goes to see everything) and it looks like most of the bits are in the right places. Decided right at the very last minute not to find out the sex. Realised that, if DD thinks she's going to have a sister, that nothing, not even photographic evidence, will change her mind anyway. So stuck with the 'don't ask don't tell' as per first time around and will just have to wait to sort out all the sodding clothes 'til we know what we've got.

Although... What do gonads look like on a scan?! Got a very good look at the hips from underneath, so to speak, and thought I saw two little bright spots, but that could be the sitting bones of course. Anyone tell me what the crown jewels look like on a scan?!

Haven't posted for ages now, but have finally found time to look at recent messages. Found out my twins are a boy and girl which is fantasic and have been busy scanning ebay for bargains as I have so much stuff to buy.

Wasn't too big up until recently but now feel huge even though I am only 25 weeks. Have put on two stone but it only seems to have to my tummy which looks like a big watermelon.

Have been told by my consultant that they will take me in at 38 weeks, but he seems to think it's probable I will already have given birth by then. Can't wait till they arrive but still have a lot of organising to do before.

How are you other twin mums coping? Is it just me worrying about how uncomfortable I will get?

Congrats on the boy/girl mrsmope. I went to an NCT sale at the weekend and couldn't resist buying a few bits and pieces.

I've put on about 2 stone aswell and bump feels huge! I'm suffering from a bad back already so yes I am worried about how big I'll get and how uncomfortable it will be.
I've yet to see my consultant and midwives keep giving different opinions on when babies might be born - one said I would go in at 38 weeks, another said consultant will want me to go on as long as possible hopefully to 40 weeks, then GP last week said it will be before 38 weeks and she thinks I'll be lucky not to be on bed rest at 32 weeks! So who knows......

We are in the middle of moving house too so other than a few clothes and a cot in the loft I haven't done much in preparation for these babies yet. Hoping to be moved soon so I can start nesting!

Re room sharing my DD will be sharing with this baby (DS is a really light sleeper so a definate no no) TBH I am dreading it as could be a complete disaster but i'm told they soon adapt. [hopefull emoticon!]
We have managed by putting DD in a high sleeper with the cot and a rocking chair underneath which seems to work at the moment anyway.
re breast pump you won't get any engorgement till day 3 as your milk dosn't come in till then. Also it is better to be taught how to hand express in the early days rather than use a pump as it can make some problems worse. My best bit of advice for those of you who are planning on breastfeeding is to ask ask ask for help till you feel comfortable, Take the baby off as many times as necessary till it is comfortable - it shouldn't hurt. Feed often. Shout for me any Q's!Good Luck. My DD was a great feeder but I had to really persevere with DS.

My TENS came this morning I only ordered it yesterday - wow that was quick!
Baby has been wriggling and kicking loads which I am enjoying for the moment.

As for jobs that need doing if DH was to do all the jobs that need doing in our house he would be working round the clock on it for the next 2 years Oh well I resigned myself to a not so perfect house a long time ago.

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Trixie some people love their Baby Bjorn, some their kari-me, it's horses for courses. I love slings that don't have anything between baby and adult cos you get the chance for a bit of extra skin-to-skin contact without being trapped on the sofa, plus wraps like the Kari-me tend to keep the baby's centre of gravity higher and closer to yours, and spread the weight more therefore helping to avoid back/shoulder ache. I do know, however, that lots of people didn't use their BB in the first few weeks because they felt they didn't support a newborn's head very well. I've never used one, but any wrap like the Kari-me is supportive from day 1, if you've tied it well! Wraps are also more adaptable to different positions.

Mickey - when I was pg with DD (and didn't know the sex) I craved marmite and tomato soup. So everyone thought I was having a boy!

Breast pumps Evie your friend obviously found that useful, and others might too but I wanted to join QueenFee with a note of caution. If someone is having trouble latching, I'd worry about too much use of a pump as it's not half as efficient as a baby and can affect supply early on. As QueenFee says, hand expressing just enough to feel comfy if you're engorged (after day 3ish) can be enough. Having said that, a pump used just to take the pressure off, as a comfort measure, rather than replacing feeds and working on a good latch, may help some and I'm always in favour of anything that helps a mum who wants to BF to succeed . I'm not a BFC but I am a peer supporter (QueenFee - are you a BFC?) and I do a bit in maternity wards so also available for questions! LOL at the description of the huge hospital pumps though!

room sharing we live in a rented 3-bed, but having had no spare room until last year when we moved in, selfishly want to keep our newly acquired one so visitors don't have to stay on the floor or in hotels. So we're planning on turning the larger spare room into the 'kids' room - and hoping that as DDs room has never really been set up (we semi co-sleep with her toddler bed right up against our superkingsize so she can get in with us when she wants with the minimum of fuss) she won't resent the newcomer . Going to put a double futon in that room so that when DC2 is old enough, the kids can co-sleep and we can have a bit of privacy again! What I'm guessing will happen, though, is that for at least the first six months, if not longer, we'll end up with 4 in a bed, or one grown up and one child in each room. Sod it - whatever gets everyone the most sleep, is my motto .

We've moved dd into a bed in our larger spare room and put the cot in too with the hope that when dd2 arrives she'll go in with her once she is sleeping through so we can retain a junk spare room. Luckily dd1 can't climb into the cot or anything like that ... yet.

mij thanks for that too- i was aware that one may become too dependent on the pump and as a first-timer, i am really hoping to succeed at breastfeeding!! i really want to but i know how difficult it can be. i guess as QueenFee says just keep asking... fingers x'd it goes well!

christiana oh no!! i really don't want to start my pram search all over again- can't believe you had a bad experience with the micralite - was it definitely the toro? as i've heard the fastfold is less sturdy etc... all reviews seem to be good but i am sceptical now!

If anyone has a which subscription would they mind looking up the micralite toro review and letting me know what it says please? Thanks, would really appreciate it!

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christiana no its fine would rather hear about any horror stories beforehand... so it was the fastfold you had - the toro seems to have good reviews on most of the sites i've looked at so far and we are also heading to a shop to try it out! let's see!

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Yes will do- will let you know when we get around to going to this shop that stock them..!

Morning everyone!
Seems like the weather has got everyone chatting away.

My DS and DD share a room (they are 22 months apart) and it works fine. We put DD in with DS when she was just over 4 months (I know, not quite the 6m recommended but the room is next ours) so that they could get used to each other and sleep through each others cries etc. It is no problem. DS has only now started climbing into her cot to play with her in the morning but she is now nearly 22 months herself so I have no safety worries. We have had the odd night where one wakes the other up but it is very very rare.

Mij and Queenfee so glad you guys know your bf stuff!! I am terrible at bf and have had 2 bad experiences so far (only managed just over 4 m with DS and 3 1/2 m with DD - and with both it was a very tearful up hill struggle to even get that far...between the 2 I have experienced deep tissue thrush 4 times, mastitis twice, tongue tie, low milk etc etc). I am hoping 3rd time lucky but if I am honest, I am really apprehensive about the whole thing. I have decided to put the whole issue aside until closer to birth. I may be needing your help though.

On another note, even though this is our last bubba, I am going to invest in a kari-me. I love my Baby Bjorn but I really do agree that it doesn't feel quite right for the first few months.

Well better get the DC's ready. Have a lovely day everyone.

Hi everyone - great new on scan results!

Please can I ask your advice ??????

I have posted a seperate link but want to see what you ladies think... Had my 2 n half appoint!!! eek with MW yesterday to discuss birth options this time round.....

Hi

I had a 3rd degree tear with my first baby and have had a 2hr appointment with MW today to dicsuss options this time round. I'm 24wks. I can have an Elective Section if I want. I think I am leaning towards a vaginal birth but MW explained that my last tear was about half a cm away from me needing a colostomoy bag. My idea so far with advice form lovely MW is to maybe have an elective episiotomy ( diagonally) to keep any further tearing away from bum area! I am keen on this as it seems better than a section. MW said that the over all trauma to your body after a section is wosre than giving birth. She also said more complications arise with sections than vaginal deliveries. I found the pain agonising last time but still I don't seem keen on a section. I must be mad...

Can I have any info from you guys on your second time round after a bad tear??? Thanks in advance

Gillyan I'm in the same boat- I tore badly with DS and this time the consultant said that they want to scan baby at 28 & 34 weeks to see what size it is in case it's too big for a normal delivery (DS was only 5lb 10!). I am in 2 minds what's best but all my friends who've had C sections say that it's actually fine and they were up and about in no time. Compare that with me who could barely sit for over a week, and it took me about 8-9 months to properly heal, I honestly thought I would never be able to have sex again! So I'm open to a section this time TBH but will see what size baby is nearer due date and think about it some more then...

Gillyan I have had 2 3rd degree tears. I had an episio the second time but it made no difference. I think everyone is different but for me a c- section would be harder to recover from than the stiches etc. Mine has healed well both times except the episio so I won't be having one of those again. I also personally feel that I would rather take the risk and possibly get away tear free (many do 2nd time round accoring to threads on here) than having definate surgery. Plus rather vainly perhaps I would rather keep all my scarring in one place I have considered a c-section this time though as having had 2 I feel I am almost guaranteed another
breastfeeding Mij - I am also a Peer Supporter which I have been doing for 4 years now. I have just re-trained and done my World Health Organisation training which was really good. Its a shame all new mums who want to feed can't go on that course as it would help so may people. I am with MIJ in that if it helps you go for it. I pump expressed a lot in the early days with DS as he wasn't a good feeder. However this may have been partly to do with him being a sleepy baby and in hindsight I would have been better just giving him another feed. My DD fed very often and I was never engorged at all. Anyone who is thinking of feeding get in touch with a local support group antenatally as they can give a lot more info than the midwives. Also it means if you have any issues initially then they can tackle them in the very early days before problems set in. Good Luck! Sorry it is sooo long

Hello there

Having a fed-up day today as I have just been to the doctor and he thinks I have hand foot and mouth disease (yes the kiddy disease!). I have really sore blisters all over my hands and it is agony to touch stuff and impossible to drive. I also have them on my feet but not so bad. I had a bad head and throuat over the weekend and apparently this is how it starts. No problems with the pregnancy as far as he is concerned given that I am nearly 23 weeks now - eek! But I am contagious so have had to cancel my b'day plans for tomorrow with my friends as they all have children

DD seems fine but may have had a little dose of it before giving it to me. I rang her nurseryand both nurseries locally have had cases.

It could be because I have been on steroid inhaler that I have picked it up as it can make you a bit more succeptable to stuff - boo!!

Hope eveyone is well, bump is v active today and kicking me loads which is lovely. Not buying anything till 24 weeks+ as we are a bit supersticious!!

Hugs to all xxx

Hello all. Just been catching up on all the news in my lunch break. Finally managed to book antenatal classes after about a month of telephoning and leaving messages .
Mij & Queenfee - can you recommend any BF preparation any of us first timers can be doing - whether it be books, or DVDs or websites etc.? I've tried to do a bit of reading up. SIL did an NCT course so thought she was really well prepared, but then could only count on one hand the number of times BF-ing wasn't agony with her first - and she persevered for a whole year. That horrified me. (Although she was fine with the second DD after latch was corrected). Sadly she's up in Newcastle so not local to me for help .
Baby has taken to kicking me right on the "exit passage" in the last couple of days. Doesn't half make me jump .
Had a damp gusset moment this morning on arrival at work. Panicked as to what it was - amniotic fluid? Wee? Then I came to the conclusion is was a bit of trapped bath water from this morning's ablutions !

Sorry Beccabump about your cancelled birthday plans - that really sucks. We'll have a virtual Mumsnet party for you instead.

Gillyan eek at the episiotomy. Sounds yuck. I had a CS and although I healed well it was still a week or more before i could walk without worrying I'd open up and many months (6?) before I felt I had healed properly. So a CS is not the easy route.

Beccabump my hubby caught the HF+M from my daughter from nursery. Was very painful. Poor you cancelling your birthday because of it - it's not fair is it!

Eviebear don't get hung up on all the tales of difficult breastfeeding. For most people it's not a problem. It is natural afterall. My DD came out of her CS moving her mouth and latched on no trouble in the recovery room and BF without (major) issue until 17 months. You tend to hear about the difficulties and not all the lovely successes. So don't be disheartened before you start. It's super.

Jetli - as I said above it's not all tough and once baby latches on properly it can be pretty much plain sailing. The midwives in the hospital (if you're going to hospital) are trained to help you and there should be a breastfeeding councilor available so help if you're having troubles.

I'm feeling really down today. Went to meet a consultant midwife at our hospital to talk about VBAC (Vaginal Birth after C-Section). She was really supportive and the hospital has lots of good policies including being free with the birthing pool for VBAC-ers (very unusual). However we went through what happened last time and came to the conclusion that a successful VBAC is unlikely due to my DD being a 9 pounder (with a fat head), not even engaging last time and being brow presenting. Second babies are generally bigger and if the first had trouble even engaging into my pelvis then likely the second will. So our conclusions were that if I go into labour spontaneously at 37 weeks or thereabouts I have a good chance of natural birth but the later it goes the lower and lower the chances get.

I'm really down about it as I have been so keen to have a water birth with minimal intervention. It doesn't mean I can't try and I definately will but I need to be realistic and have a second option birth plan ready. Snivel.

Beccabumps hope you're better soon.

JetLi my LO is also keen on kicking me in the back passage, it's like a shooting pain all the way down. Ouch!

Regarding breast feeding reading all this has just made me think ''what if I don't make any milk?''. I suppose it's the same feeling as thinking that I would never get pregnant whilst we were TTC. I've never seen milk coming out of my boobs so it's difficult to imagine that it will ever happen. I'm not pinning all my hopes on BF too much, I really want to but I know that some women struggle but I'll be happy if I can manage it for the first couple of months. I'm lucky tho cos my best friend is a Breast Buddy so she'll be on hand to help!

Gosh that's fab hunny having a breat buddy pal. No-one in my immediate family has ever breastfed successfully and Ma JetLi is from the generation where they were told bottle was better! I'm a bit puzzled about how telephone support works with La Leche et al - seems like the kind of thing where you'd be better off with video conferencing than just talking
Thanks Bonzo and sorry for your news... I'm booked in at the hospital but was hoping not to have to stay in too long... Re your VBAC, presumably though the final decision doesn't have to be made just yet? Could they monitor the size of the baby closely? Fingers crossed you get a 7lb-er rather than a whopper and get your VBAC after all!!
Has anyone had their MATB1 form yet? Is it just a handwritten thing that I can collect from the community MW or is it more formal and therefore something that needs to come through the post? I need mine in the next couple of weeks so that I can notify HR about my Mat. Leave intentions...