Over the Moon to be Due in June 2009

[Ineedmorechocolatenow]

Here's the new thread. Hope you'll find it. There is probably a more up-to-date list of us all at some point in the thread, but I couldn't find it. The newbies will have to add themselves on....

Bumpsadaisie 28th May
CoteDAzur 28 May by dates, 1 June by scan (37, dd 3)
swottybetty 30th May (31. DD 07/03/08)
llynnnn 1st June
Myneaux 1st June
Bigcar 1st June (37, dd 18, dd 9, ds 8, dd3 2)
joyfuleyes 2nd June
marmotti 2nd June
gems27 4th June
Mrs McJnr DC2 4 June 2009 (34, ds 8mths)
Ineedmorechocolatenow 5th June 2009 (31,ds 2)
summerbird 6th June (35, 1st one)
daisy5 6th June (41, dd 2)
LittleSarah 6th June (26, dd 4yrs)
thisisyesterday 6th June (ds1 3.5, ds2 1)
DreamyDorrie 7th June (30, dd 19/11/07)
Yoshimi 7th June (ds 18nths)
Aligard 8th June (one dd)
Leaky 10th June (39, ds1 5, ds2 2.5)
DawnoftheDead DC1 11th June 2009
Champagneforlunch 11th June (27, DD 4yrs)
NickelSodium 12th June
travellinglight 13th June
Sparkle73 13th June
Froggy16 13th June (27 ds 6 yrs dd 4yrs)
Nemoandthefishes 14th June [30 DS 5[+2days],DD1 2.9yrs,dd2 21mths]
Irishmama3 17th of June (36) [dd 9 ds6 and dd2
chocciedooby 18th June (37m ds1 4, ds2 3)
onehitwonder 18th June (41 DD1 3)
ermintrude13 20th June (41, dd10 ds6)
snowwombat 21st June (31)
TTCnumber3maybe (36) DC3 22 June 2009 (DS 4.5 and DS almost 3)
StrawberrySam 22nd June
Diege, 22nd June (38, dd1 7, dd2 5.8, dd3 2.8)
Heebeejeebee - 22nd June (36)
BobsWendy DC3 26 June 2009
TheLittleMermaid DC2 26 June 2009
Tee2072 DC1 26 June 2009 (39)
Sweetie34 - 29th June (37)
Wilsonmummy 28 2dd edd 30th june
mamaolivia 31 dd1 2.6 - due 30th June
NotSoRampantRabbit
tessofthedurbervilles
boundoriginals
helpivegottogivebirth
Li lacpink
mel1981
flynn1984

Ineed, it must have been v difficult to have problems first time around, and I didn't mean to sound flippant about treating it as a new thing - just that at a different time, with a different baby, and lots of help, you should be able to give it your best shot this time around - but don't knock yourself out over it! I'm hoping this next baby will be like its brother and sister, because b/f was the perfect excuse for being rather lazy...

Ineedmore - I sympathise. My breasts struggled to produce enough milk (contrary to what all the counsellors told me about that not being possible) and I spent many hours expressing and freezing to try and up the production and make sure I had some in reserve. I lasted 3 months but what a battle. I will do it again, but this time will buy the best expresser on the market. Or if I am lucky, perhaps my boobs will be more obliging this time!!!!

Don't worry, Ermintrude, you didn't sound flippant at all, I didn't mean to sound offended. I'm just pleased to be able to talk to people about it all on here. It's so hard broaching the subject in real life as there is so much emotion involved. I tried talking about it to a couple of friends yesterday to ask for advice. One was lovely and said I could ask her anything I wanted when it came to it. The other was really off-hand about it all and told me that what I said was 'ridiculous' (I was comparing the trauma and pain of childbirth with the trauma and pain of BF - which for me was worse). I went a bit quiet and went home soon after. I certainly won't be going to her for advice - she certainly was flippant!!

Sorry to hear about your troubles too Daisy though you must have been so proud that you managed three months with all that to contend with! That's brilliant!!

hi all

ineed - i too am dreading breastfeeding, but hoping, that it goes much better this time round. with dd i only managed a week and it was a horrid week. i beat myself up about not being able to do it for her for months and months afterwards and felt soooooo guilty about it. i really really want to do 'better' this time and stick with it, and am planning to get a great support network in place (must speak to midwife next time i see her!) and of course theres mumsnet now!! worried though this time will be even harder with trying to entertain a toddler at the same time too!!

flynn - sorry to hear about your anxieties with your weight, it is so hard to see our bodies changing out of our control anyway without the worry of getting it back to 'normal' again afterwards! i know its easy to say but as long as you are eating healthy foods and getting a bit of gentle exercise while you are pregnant, we will be able to concentrate on losing the extra little bit after the baby is here once we are open to eating whatever we want again!. i know our dh's dont seem ever so supportive about our weight and body concerns but i really believe they dont notice the changes and still think we are perfect to them.
I hate the way my body changes and didnt enjoy being pregnant last time at all because of the way i thought i looked, but all the way through dh kept telling me it was fine and he loved it etc etc (i never believed him, but it is good to know they are still there for us!)

my scan is next friday! I cant wait for it!! was looking at all the little boy clothes in the shops today, and was very tempted to buy something will def be finding out for the sex next week, but have a very strong hunch its a boy! anyone else think they know?

Hi girls.

Wait, I thought the no underwire thing was just while breast feeding. Its through the whole pregnancy? I guess I need to go shopping!

Tee, there is some evidence that your changing/growing breast tissue can be damaged by underwires so the advice is to wear non-wired throughout pregnancy. But I'm afraid I've ignored that advice twice and am doing so again - the underwire is under my bozooms, not constricting or uncomfortable, and frankly I need the support. Especially since I'll be wearing non-wired for so long after the birth - if you're more than a C cup it's hard to find a non-wired bra that looks good under a tee-shirt - pointy tits here I come

ermintrude- rather than pointy mine just seem saggy but they've been like this for so long now I've forgotton what a decent shape looks like ( I'd not long been back into underwires when I got bfp after feeding dd2)

Well had my scan yesterday- all was well although the baby is measuring on the large side, so they have asked the mw to organise a Glucose Tolerance test at 28 weeks. I've now been worrying about this as dd1 was 6 3 ( admittedly 3 weeks early) and dd2 was 6 10 I'm now pertified of a huge baby, although my family do traditionally have babies on the bigger side of normal.

I've been wondering if my hyperemersis in previous pregnancies kept the babies weight down, and as I've not been as sick this time that's why this one's bigger.....

Still hey ho only time will tell, there was no sugar in my wee atm, so that's got to be good.

As for bf I have been trying to gently explain to my friend who is due in Feb that it IS painful, but there is help out there without scaring her sh*tless!!! v diffivcult as the only reason I got thro' it was my mum getting up in the night with me and paracetamol pre feed.... however dd2 was a different ball game entirely so there's hope for you all!!!

Doris, I think you are right to prepare your friend. No one prepared me and I spent all my time thinking about the pain of labour, not even realising that BF can be really painful. Had I been prepared I might not have spent all my time beating myself up that I was doing it wrong all the time (as it transpired, DS had his jaw damaged with forceps and needed osteopathy to push it back in. He couldn't latch at all - nothing to do with me!) I wish I'd had a friend like you who could have warned me.

Doris, my boobs aren't pointy by nature, it's just that non-underwired bras seem to make them into weird triangles - must be the seams. Left to their own devices they're heading slowly south...

Ineedmorechoc you're right that we don't talk properly about the realities of b/f, although it's always hard to talk in terms of pain because that means such different things to different people: I'd never have described it as painful but certainly stinging, uncomfortable and downright weird to begin with. In a good way . But then I have an extremely high pain threshold having had endometriosis for 25 yrs whereas my sister, who had never had even slight period pain, described the early days of b/feeding as feeling like drops of acid were being sucked out of her! It's that use of the word 'natural' that misleads people, I reckon. Vaginal delivery without intervention or pain relief is natural, but it does hurt. Breastfeeding is natural but that doesn't mean it's instantly easy peasy. We've lost our mammalian understanding of this stuff and I agree that if women were just a little aware that a bit of discomfort and oddness is also 'natural' in early b/feeding it would make it a lot less mysterious and troublesome.

Your poor little DS and his jaw, though . That must have been awful for both of you. Nothing to do with labour scares me as much as forceps!

Toe curling was the best expression I heard to described the "latch on" in the early days. Me I just had the Jaws theme tune playing in my head every time dd had her mouth open coming towards me Na Na na Na....

I think I (mistakenly)believed that it was a natural thing so it realy couldn't be that difficult as people had been doing it for millenia....

Ineed less your poor ds

Flynn ? Slimming World is Scottish Slimmers in Scotland. I have their pamphlet on eating in pregnancy actually, forgot I did. I always found SS the only successful way for me to lose weight.

On the subject of BFing. I was adamant I was going to do it with DS and stayed in hospital for 3 nights to try and crack it, not that I got much support there. I also read every book I could. DS wasn?t a great feeder and my nipples got in a terrible mess so much so that I dreaded feeding, it was awful when I finally sought advice from the MW when DS was 3 weeks old (I felt ashamed to seek advice as I thought it was meant to be this beautiful, natural thing ) she was horrified at the mess and worried because DS was quite thin. She forbade me from feeding without protectors until I?d healed. They worked well for me which is just as well as I had to use them for so long that DS then couldn?t latch on without them. I did persevere until he was 6 ½ months when he self weaned and I was so sad. Hoping that I?ll be able to feed this baby for a lot longer. For what it?s worth, my NCT expert was hopeless and in hospital they told me so many different things that I got confused. The best advice came from other Mums in my breastfeeding group. My best tip is to ensure that you have a breast nurse set from Boots in your fridge, I managed to avoid nasty mastitis and antibiotics three times by treating the symptoms early with hot and cold pads. I also learnt to use my pump before DS arrived which took a lot of stress out of it when I did need to use it. Incidentally, if you are overdue, using the breast pump could help bring on labour!

Ineedmore ? I?m with you on the pain when BFing isn?t going well, I had to dig my nails into my leg to get DS latched on.

I just want to say to everyone else who hasn?t BF, everyone?s experience is different but if you are in pain don?t just grin and bear it as it will only get worse, seek advice as soon as you can. For some people it works like magic, I hope that is your experience. Also, when the going gets tough just take one feed at a time and congratulate yourself on each one, it worked to keep me going.

Ermintrude ? mastitis is the weirdest thing isn?t it? When I had it it always started with me feeling really odd but not realising what it was until I saw the tell tale red marks.

Daisy ? I found the best way to increase my milk supply was to express on one side whilst DS fed on the other. I have a Medela Swing electric pump and I thought it was pretty good.

Llynnn ? I have concerns about how to BF one and entertain the other and was thinking I?d try and make that story time for my DS, he loves being cuddled up for stories so let?s hope that continues.

Tee ? I wore and am wearing underwired bras pre and post natally. It was hell here in Spain in the summer wearing non underwired bras and I don?t plan to do it again, not now I have found these nice feeding bras that are underwired

Doris ? glad the scan went well and I hope the test shows no problem

hey can i join, due with no.2 on 13th

Welcome queen! Add yourself to the list at the first post!

sorry to sound stupid but how do i do that

Copy and paste it into a new post!

Hi queenofpuddings (great name!)

It's so comforting to hear that other people struggled a bit to BF, and that I wasn't alone - despite feeling horribly so at the time. My mum and sister both found BF easier than breathing and MIL didn't BF at all. I was hearing so much conflicting advice (from both family, friends and HCP) that it made the whole thing worse. As it happened there was no advice anyone could give as it was DS jaw that was the problem. Really hoping I don't have an assisted delivery again as it caused no end of probs for DS (I was fine physically), but DS had a circle of scalp removed by the ventouse and had his jaw pushed out of alignment by the forceps (undiagnosed for over two weeks). Don't want to scare any of you that haven't had an assisted delivery. I've had lots of friends who have had them without any problems. DS was back-to-back which meant the forceps went over his face.

What I would recommend (and it was her that diagnosed the prob even after lots of docs had missed it) was a cranial osteopath. She was FAB and I fully intend to take this little one next time, even if there appears to be nothing wrong. There were loads of little things she 'ironed out' for DS - he was suffering colic, that was sorted, he had a weepy eye, she sorted that too. She completely changed the shape of his face and head (it'd been pulled out of shape by the ventouse). It's not all alternative, they are actual osteopaths who are trained to work with babies. I hadn't even taken him for his latch and hadn't mentioned it to her at all (he couldn't latch onto anything - a bottle, a dummy, even a finger). She just said 'oh, does he have trouble latching?'. I was so shocked! She just popped it back in and said it'd be fine now. His first bottle he had after that was hilarious! He latched so hard he nearly took my hand off! I just which I'd taken him sooner so that I could have stayed BF longer. Oh well.

Going to a friend's for lunch today and they are two of our favourite people in the world so we're all excited. Will catch up with you all later xx

Good morning ladies.

Have another exciting day of grocery shopping and cleaning planned. I am such a party animal on the weekends!

So I guess I should start worrying even more about BF? I mean, I read about all the people having trouble, and now I hear it hurts! You would think it would be easy, women have been doing it for millennium!!

Welcome Queenofpuddings and congratulations.
Sounds like you had a rough time with DS. Thanks for telling us about cranial Osteopathy as its always helpful to know what they can do should they be needed.

After all the chat on BF I slept nightmare free . Am pretty tired still though as DH went out for drinks with friends and texted me at 2am which woke me up!Not a happy mummy.Then again at 3am!Then he rolled in at 4am and I was very reluctant to share the bed as it was so nice having it to myself to stretch out :} Spent the rest of the night (or morning)tossing and turning. I am only 17+2 and have such a llong way to go. Can't believe I am feeling uncomfortable already.

Has anyone else got a red itchy rash on their hands and palms? I think its hormonal.

Tee You don't need to worry about BF. You'll probably find it all fine, although it can be hard. Most of my friends had no probs at all (which is why I felt like I did). Just arm yourself with LLL's number and know when / where your local hospital's BF clinic is. And ask for help if you need it! Oh, and get some Lanisoh cream in (lots of people say it's the best).

Although maybe the worries never end. I seem to have been worrying in one way or another since I fell pregnant with DS..... I think it's what we do....

Tee, one thing I have noticed amongst all the preg women I have ever known - and this is entirely anecdotal rather than scientific evidence, but it has been noticeable - is that every single one who was v worried about b/f the first time around had a problem with it (often psychological worries, body image problems etc. rather than having had or witnessed a specific traumatic b/f experience as some of the posters here have done). Some who weren't worried had problems too of course, but I do think stress and anxiety play their part in making a worried new mum less relaxed and therefore less able to feed easily. Just like with labour, the more 'open' your body is, the easier the process will run its course. It is a completely natural act to put your new baby to your breast; I found it entirely instinctive. But it's also weird and alien at the same time, as soon as your conscious mind kicks in and you think - blimey, I'm sticking my boob in the mouth of this little creature and it's going to get milk out of there, waaaaaaah!! You have to get back to an almost bovine serenity where your mind doesn't play much of a part. Moo!

In Mayhew's study of the Victorian working classes he interviewed a 17 yr old girl who'd just given birth. He asked her what pain relief she'd used and she said "Was it supposed to hurt?" These days we're able to soothe most aches and pains with analgesics and so levels of discomfort which our forebears would consider normal seem to us to be extraordinary and unbearable. We also 'lost' a generation of b/feeding mums post-war and into the 60s when everyone used the new magic formula, and I think that those women - some of whom are midwives and health visitors - see today's b/feeding encouragement as an implicit criticism of how they fed their own babies. It's a v emotionally charged subject.

Sorry to go on, but I'm trying to say - don't worry, but do be aware that even natural bodily functions sometimes carry a certain level of discomfort and even pain, and that you and your baby might take a little while to work it out between you, but in all likelihood you will be fine, and once you're settled into it it really does become second nature.

I'm still going at Ineedmorechoc's poor DS and his jaw. I've heard v gd things about cranial osteopaths too, for all sorts of infant ailments.

MrsMcJ, sorry, pages ago you asked me what I wrote and I forgot to answer. I write novels and short fiction. Two novels published, another hopefully out next year. Although at the moment I am mostly writing long posts on MN...

Quick crash from Fab Feb 2009 thread to say a huge congratulations to LittleSarah - hope all going well with your pregnancy! Congrats to the rest of you too. Over and out...

Ineedmore - I agree. My cranial osteopath quickly picked up that dd had 'silent' reflux when the doctors and midwives were saying things like 'babies are like this sometimes' (dd took 90mins - 2 hrs to go back to sleep after feeding and would wake in agonising pain so we sensed something was really not right). It was expensive but I was very impressed. I would definitely go again, even if there weren't any obvious problems because they 'read' the babies bodies so well.

ermintrude - I expected breastfeeding to be a breeze, but my excessive tiredness from the reflux associated problems may have contributed. Who knows, shall find out next time, hoping and praying silent reflux doesn't strike again (that's when the milk doesn't usually come up but the acid comes up the throat and causes them great pain). In the end the only way I could get her to sleep was by sleeping at a angle greater than 45o.

LOL @ "bovine serenity"