Fab Feb 2009: the bumps are a-jumping, the mums are a-grumping - roll on the new year

[dinkystinkyclaus]

A sparkling new thread in time for christmas

Wow everyone seems to shop at the moment, I will have to grab DH at some point when he's not working and hit the town. I also must write a to do list for the next few weeks as there is so much that needs doing around the house.

TBM & Fifi - Welcome 'home'. I think in a nutshell people have been poorly with various lurgies, Mrsy and LMN have been in hosp for high BP, but we are all still here. With the exception of Ooogs who was having pains and hasn't been back on so you never know.... Preparations for arrivals seem to be gathering speed (in most cases)

Enjoy your lunch Catstar

x

Thanks for all your comments yesterday ladies xxx

TBM welcome home, can't wait to read your story, big hugs to you xxx

Ok having an anxiety thing going on RE hospital bag, i keep avoiding doing/thinking about it. I have booked for a home birth and have been trying to keep an open mind that i might have to go in, you just never know what will happen. It's the only thing i haven't prepared infact I don't think i am prepared for the labour at all, in fact i am completely shitting myself. I just want her to stay in there as i'm actually very comfy me and bump! I am actually freaking out because I have a low pain threashold and am a complete wuss, I just think I wont be able to do it. Especially worried about the pushing part. Ok maybe its all normal to be worried about such a big event but feel all panicky!

littlesez, of courseit's normal and I sometimes feel the same. I've had a very comfy pregnancy and apaprt from the hard work ahead I'm very anxious about what will happen to DS while I'm in labour and it seems so much easier if baby would just stay put forever!

I suspect you are more mentally prepared than you think you are and also remember that the thought of anything is always much worse than actually getting on and doing it and when the time comes you'll be fine. I wonder whether your state of mind has anything to do with having attended your first ante natal class? I remember was in floods of tears after mine as it really brought home what was going to happen.

I think being mentally prepared is a really good idea. I know you have family support but reading some good, positive stuff about birth as I am doing at the moment really could help you to believe in what your body can do and help you actually start looking forward to it all rather than dreading it. It will be tiring, it might be painful but I found remembering that every contraction brings your baby one step closer really helped. It's not like cutting your finger - the pain will come and go and you get the most amazing present at the end of it!

I've been reading a lot about non-directed pushing i.e just letting your body do the work and I think this is the way to go. Have a look at this and this.

please don't worry about the pushing bit littlesez.

this might be a horrid analogy, but the role your mind plays in it is more like what happens when you have diahorrea (i.e. you get to the suitable place and your body just does it) rather than what happens when you are constipated (you get to the right place and try to catch the right moment to help your body along). Really - you could literally be in a coma and your body would push the baby out - you don't have to DO anything.

Do you know, I wonder whether you might find it useful just to spend 5 minutes a day sitting quietly somewhere with your eyes shut and just noticing what your body is doing - just letting yourself be aware of whatever bit of your body comes to your attention, and noticing that you are breathing in and out and your heart is babooming away. And maybe being aware of the baby having a wriggle inside - it's all just doing its thing, and you don't have to consciously interfere at all. I'm really hoping that in labour I'll be able to enter that state quite a lot - watching the contractions and watching the pushing without feeling the need to identify my mind with them

Morning
TBM glad you are home with Fifi, bet you are very happy to be out of hospital!

I am going to paint DD2's room today i think as feel a slight energy burst and it does need doing.

Littlesez i think everybody slightly shits themselves about the birth - especially as its your first one and you dont know what its going to feel like but HOM is right and its a good feeling that every contraction is bringing you closer to your little one. Its also sometimes described as quite a positive pain and i think thats qutie a good description. Get your bag packed and that will be another step closer to you feeling like everything is ready and in order for you to meet your little girl Try not to worry either - for most women its a very positive and beautiful experience.

Hope everyone is on for a nice fairly relaxing Saturday - its going to get warmer after today ... hooray!

Thanks ladies, again so nice to have some mums to talk to. Quite like the idea of listening to my body and going with the flow. Had an image in my head of midwife telling me to push and spending 2 hours forcing the baby out. I have heard of baby's slipping back up as trying to push them out. I dont know why but this whole thing just freeaks me out so much.

I am lucky as my mum will be at the birth she used to be a midwife and fell like she can help me but stick up for me if needed too! Part of the reason i want a home birth is to feel more in control of what happens and feel more confident in saying what i want as ill be on my own turf!

Very interesting reading the links HOM. Well I am still anxious but have stopped crying and being hysterical! Also phoned my mum which always makes me feel imediately better

I'm afraid I cant offer any advice re pushing having never done it but have stored THOM's links to read later myself! Atm I am a bit about the whole labour bit and hope I can continue like that and just do what comes naturally if I have to. How excellent having your mum as a former MW! That would really put my mind at ease knowing someone was there to advocate for me if needs be who knows what they are talking about. (I dont have such hopes for DH i'm afraid )

Well i'm also quite nesty today as am sorting all the baby clothes and sorting through DS's toys. Am cheating a bit though as all the soft baby toys are going in the washing machine so I dont have to deal with them until later Wish I had your energy burst Rosie, I'm really dragging myself around and forcing myself to do it!

Hello all. I've sort of caugt up with yesterdays and this mornings events.
I was thinking about oooggs yesterday, where is she, do we think she has had the baby/everything ok?

TBM&FiFi Glad you're back home, must be such a relief to be out of the hospital.
There is a thread in the premature section where some people have added their congrats just in case you haven't seen it, will add link later, but in mean time it's headed Tink/Tinsel.

littlesez Your post about shitting yourself about pushing could have been written by me last time (and this tbh). I spent so long in real fear of the whole giving birth, to the point where I really regretted getting preg in first place! I think luckily we went 6 days over so by the time it all started I was so bloody relieved!
I am the most pathetic person on the planet, really, I can't have a blood test without a panic attack and floods of tears, I mean that needle going in my arm really hurts!!!! I have a very low threshold for pain too and when we got to the hospital and I was waiting to be seen for 3 hours, I seriously contemplated throwing myself out of a 4th floor window in the hope to end it all, by the time I felt the need to push, I was 8cm and was told to wait until I was 10, but I figured by body knows what it needs to do, it had successfully held that pregnancy so Iwas willing to trust it and do what it wanted so I started to push, and tbh it was nowhere near as bad as I expected it to be. I'm one of those, prepare for the worst and hope for the best. I think if you've built it up to be that bad, it will be nothing in comparisson iyswim. And logically, it can't be that bad or everyone would stop at 1 child wouldn't they? And I know it sounds really stupid but the pain isn't like a normal pain because you have something to focus on, it's not like breaking your leg and thinking that was bloody stupid, you know that you have to do it to meet your baby.
HTH

TBM&FiFi2 I see that you've been on the well wish thread

Dad and bro are here decorating the bedrooms so all our shit stuff is piled in the living room and I can't see the bloody tv!!!
I feel a bit useless, they won't let me do anything, but have to pop to shops to get something in for their lunch I suppose...

Went to MC yesterday to look at mattresses for mosses basket, what a rip off, will be cheaper to buy a whole new basket! But the crappy store didn't even have any in stock and no stands either so didn't get to spend as much as I wanted.
I did use my birthday money and bou=ght myself a new winter cardy/jacket thing and a new handbag, it's purple
Couldn't spoil myself or ds though as pain kicked in and I had to keep stopping to lean against walls, got some very funny looks! By the time I met dp in tescos at bottom of road, I couldn't stand straight. Seem ok now, but haven't done anything yet.
Anyone else hate sitting down? I constantly feel like I need to be stretched. Bump/saggy fat is also rested on thigh and is very uncomfortable.
Think room in there has definately run out now as movements have become very restricted and nowhere near as frequent or in pattern to what they have been so I am constantly checking the heartbeat, but can still pick it up nice and strong so all is ok in there.

hi all and welcome back TMB&F. So glad to hear everything is ok and hope you are being pampered by your mum.

I'm also now starting to panic about the birth (even though no pushing for me) and also coping with a little one again. Think its all become real now we've got the first baby on the thread.

LBB we have a moses basket mattress in the loft that we never used. We borrowed a basket from a friend and bought a new mattress that didn't fit (it was a really oldfashion big basket). I will send it to you with pleasure if you want it.

Welcome TBM - it must be so lovely to be snuggled at your Mum's with your gorgeous new baby. I am very jealous as potentially (if DS's late arrival is anything to go by) it could be another 8 weeks before this one decides to make an appearance.

When I saw the MW last week she said my stomach was very tight and hard - I asked her if this was braxton Hicks and she thought it might be, and that that was a good thing. I'm starting to feel really pessimistic about the chances of a VBAC now though. babe is still transverse despite lots of leaning forward and baby spinning exercises. Oh well.

We have just bought ourselves a Macbook to use around the house. Our PC is upstairs in the loftroom and I was worried that when the baby comes I would never see our DS as he's somewhat fond of going on the computer. he and DH are now really enjoying their new toy and I'm also quite excited about all the geeky stuff I can learn and do now that we have an Apple. SAD!!!

of course, this is all putting paid to getting anything more done on getting ready for baby. The "nursery" is like a furniture storeroom and a total tip. I really hope we mamnage to flog it next week weekend. have never sold or bought anything on ebay but if local paper doesn't generate any interest I may have to investigate this as I'm getting a little bit panicky that the room is so far off being set up, even though it's all freshly painted etc.

Has anyone bought one one ogf those slider / glider / rocking / nursing chairs? I'm thinking about it but also know this could be a massive overindulgence. And we have nowhere to put it just now!

THOM I did that naturally with Lily-Hope, I didn't realise I was in labour and no one really spoke to me. When I had a contraction I put pressure on my heels and shoulders to raise my hips, according to The Waterbirth Book that's the natural way to give birth.
O&U is right, it's happened a few times that a woman has given birth in a coma. I even know of someone who had a GA for a vaginal birth!

Thank you all, I've missed coming on here! When I moved to Transition I thought I'd have my own Premier (in my private room it was removed) and could come on sometimes, but it's a new ward converted from a day ward so no Premier yet. Can you imagine being on a long stay ward with no TV, you're not supposed to have your mobile on and have no bedside phone? It was reading, looking at the baby or talking to the loud mouths opposite.

If anyone hasn't got a pushchair yet can I recommend the Silver Cross 3D? It's normally nearly £400 with the chair and car seat. At the moment the car seat is half price when bought together; it's in the sale; there is £15 of vouchers in the Babies 'R' Us catalogue; and you get VAT back. I spent less than £300 on it! (Mum paid for it on account so I can't remember the exact figures)

Ugh - was up all night, again, with a raging temperature (and the few times I did drop off I woke myself up snoring - so no fair) and now have that shaky feeling crap/on verge of tear feeling you get after a bad fever... Hope the worst of it has passed as dont want to go through it again tonight! Oh well, onwards and upwards.... Went to Natural History Museum today and DS loved it (though the T-Rex was broken so didnt move or make noises as otherwise think DS would have been as scared as your nephew Catstar).

TBM - congrats on you and Sian getting home. Must be a huge relief. Hope all is settling down at your mums and Sian and Tink are falling in love with each other. Am so glad you dont feel bad after this birth too - that's wonderful to hear!

LittleSez - is normal to be scared (I was exactly the same as you last time) but remember, fear = tension = pain in labour, so the very best thing you can do is educate yourself on the physiology of labour (which is what I've been doing this time round - loads of books you can borrow from library on this - including Marie Mongan Hypnobirthing book, Dick Grantly Read Birth without Fear book (over a hundred years old!), Janet Balaskas books and Ina May Gaskin). Positive affirmations will also help you get your mind in a place where you're ready to give birth - embrace each contraction as bringing you one step closer to your baby and you're halfway there hon. And having your mum with you, knowing you can rely on her to fight your corner and get you what you want/need, will be a great comfort, so please try to keep in a positive place if you can (you're so excited about your pregnancy, it would be great if that excitement extended to the birth too. As others have said, your body will instinctively know what to do, how to move etc.

LittleSarah - massive congratulations; am delighted for you and your DH (hope you had a wonderful wedding!).

Catstar - hope your lunch goes well (buffet style is definitely the most stylish way to go!) and everyone is cooing over your beautiful new kitchen.

KazzaL - enjoy the ensuite shopping.

Pluto - am most of your Macbook. DH has been wanting to buy one for ages but keep telling him he cant until we've got the house sorted and have somewhere suitable and beautiful enough to keep it!

P.s. Wow TBM - total bargain on the pushchair.

Rosie - dont you overdo it missus (especially after your scare last week!). Make sure that room is well ventilated and you take lots of rest breaks.

spotty Thank you. I have to measure the basket because it does lok a bit bigger than standard size (I think) Will have to do tomoz because not sure where they've put it! But will def take you up on that if it's the right size

Think I'm going to get back into pj's now and put sex and city film on and get a big tub of ice-cream out and maybe some popcorn........
Mine and dp's bedroom is looking very institutional like as it's all white, just been in there and felt I should be sitting on floor in corner rocking whilst stroking my head! Will look nice once wallpaper goes up on main wall and we get some pictures up.
The paint we got for ds's room has come out really dark, so gonna have to mix some white in after 1st coat has dried. It wasn't the colour I wanted, but the tin was dented so was really reduced in price, couldn't not get it really.
Nothing exciting pregnancy wise happening, bag fully packed now though, just hope the next few weeks goes quick and we don't go over again

LBB have you seen this mattress website?

In fact there are loads online in various price ranges. I've got to get one too. We lived in a flat whe DS was born so didn't need a moses basket as he napped in his hammock whch was easily moved from bedroom to living room but now we're in a house and I cannot be bothered to put the carry cot bit on the Bugaboo someoen is lending us a moses basket. I do wonder how yucky and chemical-ridden a foam mattress will be but the natural ones are hideously expensive!

Dinky funny you should say that, after all my extra sleeping this week in the mornings i woke up with bags of energy this morning and thought id get the evil deed done as i knew it wouldnt be touched after lo gets here. Anyway i did about one hour of it and am fooked so went to sleep for two! lol - now have DD1 and DH finishing the job for me cant believe just how tired im getting now. No more scary pains though thankfully. Am so sorry to hear that your still crook though , cant believe you managed to get out either you superwoman you! Just get tons of rest as i think in view of the fact that you cant take sod all its the only way to go.

Had a look at that lovely pram TBM and it does look very gorgeous. I always spent so much on my previous babies prams but we were offered a 'as new' Graco excursion which is very nice and all but it is also very basic, ie it only has two positions at the back and im sure my old pushchairs had 3 or 4 but it really was immaculate and came with the chair and everything so looked brand new and we got it for £40 so it just seemed a bit silly to look a gift horse in the mouth so to speak. Mind you i bought the matching bag brand new on ebay and it was £25 which is a bit silly in view of the fact that the whole thing was only 40. The still sell them in toys r us and they seem popular enough but we shall see. Tbh i dont think we have the budget to stretch to a pushchair like the 3d as much as i want to ( or even a bugaboo ) because of the wedding, Christmas and all my 'little' purchases like new dining tables and such like so we have lots of lovely things for the baby - just no all singing all dancing pushchair, this one should be fine though i hope TBM you must have been sooo bored on that ward! There is definately tv on Hazel ward ( i know because i already stayed on there for my bug and its post natal and anti natal ) but there is no internet, have purloined DH's iphone though for the duration of my stay so i can keep up with everything and post regularly otherwise i will be tearing my hair out with boredom (dont really watch much tv) keep promising myself a really good book and then buying it and reading it! Have to not do that and save it for my hospital duration.

Oh fgs i bought two nursing bras (brand new) off ebay - marks and sparks ones in a size 46 f and they are huge around the back. Every other nursing bra ive tried has been too small around the back because of my huge bump but these ones are too big and very stretchy! They also come up really high ( i must just be used to balcony bras or something ) as i can see them all white and in all of their glory under my tops which are all usually v necked ( but not that low cut ) because of my ample boobage ). Am going to have to go back to the drawing board with the bra situation as i did try Bravissimo but it only went up to a size 40 back.

We don't have a pram! THe last one (£25 charity shop job) only got lain in about 3 times so we aren't bothering. Am waiting for my friends who keep promising to send me hand-me-down wilkinets to actually get on with it and send me a hand-me-down wilkinet!

I got one of those baby bjorn slings in the end ( second hand but in brill condition ) - onward did you just rely on slings? How did you manage when DC was older?

Rosie - glad you've been taking it easy and putting the troops to work Out for low key dinner with DH tonight and will then be taking it easy for rest of weekend (just REALLY wanted to take DS out today somewhere as we all go stir crazy if we're in all day). There was a thread in August about big boobed nursing bras - the recommendations on it were Bravado, Royce (both available from figleaves) a website called AMPLE BOSOM and another one called SIMPLYYOURS.CO.UK. Hope these help. Otherwise could you maybe try one of the ones you've tried on which fits cup wise with a bra extender?

We've sold our beloved mini today - man who bought it (first one to call up to see it) seemed v nice if a little scary looking so at least its gone to a nice happy home. Still the money we got for selling it will certainly come in handy while I'm on mat leave....

P.s. Pluto - sorry little one is still transverse. Have you thought about acupuncture to maybe help move it round - or moxibustion (midwife should be able to talk to you about that) - as little one is being so stubborn?

Yeah i use simplyyours but i haven't seen any nursing bras on there. I think that the most sensible thing will be what you suggested and thats to get a bra that fits in the cup and as near as dammit on the back then use a bra extender for the extra couple of inches. Im not usually a 46 back anyway more like a 42 so after bump is gone will probably go down a back size or two as ribcage is all stretched out atm.

Awww you sold your mini I know how you feel - we had to buy a 7 seater in November and DH is a bit anti people carriers ( not me i dont mind them ) so we got a mercedes e class with the seats in the boot. I miss my car though as it was far nippier and i feel really mummyish in my merc lol. Its a nice drive though and even though its 8 years old its nice and safe for DC's and plenty of room for gangly teenagers!

Thanks Rosie - glad someone knows how I feel about out beloved car going. If all goes to plan, we're aiming for 3 kids eventually so DH is fairly resigned that the next car will prob need to be a people carrier - which is why I let him get the zippy (and apparently for Motor-heads drool inspiring ) Audi RS4 estate he had his heart set on this time round.

Rosie I carried DS in a Wilkinet until he was walking (13 months). At which point he refused to go in any kind of sling any more. And I'm only 5'3" and weigh just over 7 stone. It's really down to the correct sling - I'm pretty certain you couldn't carry a baby in a Baby Bjorn for very long as they're rubbish for your back and also put a lot of pressure on the baby's hips.

We had the Bugaboo as living in London we do alot of shopping on foot and there's a limit to how much I could physically carry but DS didn't go in it until he was about 4 months old and most of the time the Wilknet was much more useful. I guess it also helps if you BF and don't have to lug loads of stuff around with you. This time I've also got a Hug A Bub as I'll need to be able to carry DS2 at home while still being hands-free for DS1 and the Wilkinet is a bit of a faff for getting them in out.