December 2008 Once you pop you can't stop

[Veggiemummy]

surely most of us will go on this one

Oh jump your post just brought tears to my eyes. You have so much going on. You, your DH and your little DD all need some looking after. Is there anyone who can be called on to help just with things like the meals etc? Normally, it would be up to the Dh but sounds like he is struggling to keep up and its so important that you all eat regularly. I have nothing to add except hugs and to assure you that everything you are going through is part of thr normal adjustment of a couple to a baby in their life...complete with the resentment and who is getting the rougher deal competetions. It will get better. Try and talk to each other and maybe set up a routine whereby he knows he is in charge of evening meal (and so can't be napping at this time!) not least to stop him having a hypo. I am sure there are many type 1 diab mothers who are on their own with their babies, and to be harsh, I imagine they just HAVE to make sure they don't have a hypo by eating regularly etc etc.

Take it easy. Try and get some rest. Try some Bach's rescue remedy when you are feeling overwhelmed. Thinking of you.

Hi. Just a quick message from my mobile. I got my homebirth, dh was an absolute angel and the mw's want to employ him. Just my tens machine and gas and air(which ran out). It bloody hurt like hell! Hope everyone is ok. X

sorry x-post with you JJ im sorry you are feeling so down. Tiredness can play such a huge part in feeling down post birth. But you have real medical concerns for your DH as well. Does he have a specialist nurse/doctor that he can see to helo him get back into a special routine? xx

verso in answer to your Q, I always used Camomilla drops (homeopathic drops) with DS and they would bring up trapped wind a treat. You can only use it occasionally throughout the day (not with every feed) but really helped when he was struggling. he really was a windy little bgger! Kimberley* glad you got your salts done! Another creative person. Bet you do lovely labels and wrapping on them too.

Oh jj sorry ou are feeling so wobbly.

Ok firstly don't beat yourself up about being a little rough. I'm going to leap in and say it, it may not sit comfortably with many people and it is not something that everyone gleefully talks about at baby group but it would make it so much easier on mums if they did. Pretty much everyone has been there. Everyone has been so tired, hormonal and frustrated that they have shoved their baby down a little roughly, grabbed their hands roughly or something. Almost everyone has had a point where they could just chuck the baby across the room to make them shut up. It is ok. It is normal. It does not make you a bad mother. It does not make you a child abuser in the making.

Feeding is tiring. Yes of course your dh needs sleep too, will be somewhat disturbed at night and will be thinking about having the sleep to be able to work. However, you are recovering from 9 months of bloody hard work carrying a child and are feeding that child. You need tlc too. With ds I did the nights but dh would get up with ds about 6 when he woke and leave me to get a couple of hours. It wasn't much but they were 2 hours of deep, deep sleep as I knew that ds was fine and they would come to me when he wanted feeding. During the night you will be sleeping lightly and aware of her needs.

Of course, for something like that to work you need to sort out the diabetes so that you feel comfortable leaving them. It must be very tough on both of you to be so all over the place with it. Can you set alarms to remind you to get yourselves back on track with regards to the diabetes?

kayz& am so glad you got your homebirth! You absolute wonder to give birth to such a whopper on just G&A, I thought dd was hard work and she was only 7"3!

I'm just going to sign out and wake DH. Ironically he missed his diabetic annual review as it was at 11 am on the day DD arrived so he dashed home instead once he heard the noises I was making! it's been rescheduled for next week and also there's a special course he's going on in the spring which is meant to help make for far fewer hypos. turnip of course you're right that there must be lots of mums who cope with it themselves. Indith he does get up first and take her and leave me for an hour or so to catch up on sleep in the morning - so I shouldnd't be so blimming ungrateful

Feeling a bit stronger now, thanks for listening everyone. Will get DH to make tea speedily and have a bath I think.

Kayz Huge congratulations! I'm impressed that you managed a home birth with the size he was.

jj I agree w Indith. No one tells you it will be like this but it's normal and you are normal for feeling like you do - even w/o your DH's diabetes to contend with. Looking after a baby is HARD WORK - and a huge responsibility just for YOU if you're breastfeeding. I've been through it before but still have moments of intense resentment that we can't share it - esp. when DD2 is doing cluster feeds. {{hugs}}

Go Kayz, getting such a big baby out on G&A you can tell your 'helpful' consultant who doesn't recomend homebirths where to go now

Well done Kayz, amazing that you managed that at home with just G&A, I am in awe of you. BTW big babies rock!

Phew, jst managed to catch up!

HUGE congratlations to Kayz, you got your HB! A lovely baby boy and an impressive size .

ZJ: as everyone else has said, fndal measurements are not v accurate, my scans all show this baby as being large [wince] but am measuring bang on for dates or even a little behind. A lot depends on your frame, the way the baby is lying and so on. I would imagine they will give you a scan, they will also check on the level of amniotic fluid.

JJ: It IS hard and please don't feel guilty for getting angry or resentful with your baby, I'm sure we've all been there and will be there again. Getting a little bit of time to yourself in the day is a godsend. If you start to feel overwhelmed, please have a chat with your MW or HV, whoever would be more helpful. And of course rant on here as much as you like

Hello everyone, lots of action on the baby front since I last posted, congratulations to kayz, babblington, trace, feb, kmp & rosmerta...the list goes on!!! I hope I remembered everyone. We really are in the swing of things now. Nice work kayz on getting feb I am very excited that someone had their baby on my birthday 4th Dec is a great day to be born! I thought there wouldn't be anyone

My best friend who lives round the corner had her baby today!! I am so excited! Can't wait to see her.

There is not much news from me, nothing happening yet here. Went out to my mountain bike club christmas dinner last night which was fun, me and DH had a big argument in front of everyone though which was most embarrassing.
I have to admit I deliberately dropped his bike helmet from a high height into a heap of coats as he first asked me to carry a heavy bag up the stairs while he went to the loo, then came up and handed me his helmet and asked me to look after it, and walked off!! So I just blew my top, unfortunately he saw me dispose of his stuff in this fashion and went mental. It's especially embarrassing as there are not many other couples who both ride so couples arguments are few and far between. I think we gave a few of them a laugh though.
I also got comments such as
"You're HUGE"
Me "well thankyou very much"
"Still getting heartburn"
Me "yes"
"Oh well that means it's high and it won't come for ages"
Me "Thanks very much, that's just what I want to hear"
GAH!

Oh and we had some sex this morning but it didn't do anything . I don't think this baby is anywhere near ready yet.

jj lots of hugs, I am sure the frustration part is totally normal, especially when you have had no sleep. I have lasange and chocolate brownies I can bring round at any time!! Hope you feel better soon.

zJ I also know loads of people who have had wacky measurments when the fundal height has been done, and it's always been fine. It's best that they check though.

Anyway enough waffling on from me, hope everyone is doing ok!!

JJ I agree with what everyone else is saying my DH is pants at night time and it drove me insane when I ws up pacing with DS or crying cause my boobs hurt and I couldnt get him latched on right and he laid beside me snoring. The diabetes is something that needs to be treated as a seperate issue. Is he having hypers because the 2 of you are forgetting to eat meals etc because of the bub? If so have you thought about setting an alarm on your mobile so that it reminds him to have a snack. Sorry if that is totally stupid thing to say but just a thought. And in terms of losing oyur rag I think we have all done it I used to sometimes put A in his cot or moses basket and shut the bedroom door for 10mins just so I could go into the lounge and breathe for a bit.

ZJ hope all is ok.

Right am off to bed to probably toss and turn all night long, grr although to be fair I dont really want the baby to come tonight as am quiet tired.

dinner now had, dd swaddled up and cosy and looking round at the world in amazement, feeling much cheerier. Thanks again everyone and SL for your v kind offer of lasagne!!

Oops I just upgraded him to DH he is still a DP

kayz congrats !!! what a whopper, well done you and hurray for HB am so impressed with pain relief (well lack of) missus !

Congrats to all of the new babies kmp, hiccy, feb zj I was also told bump had not grown between 36-38 weeks but it was because baby had dropped, please don't worry too much this measurement is only as accurate as the person holding the tape, 3 MWs would probably all measure slighlty differently.

Verso well done coping with day 1 on your own. Monday is my first day alone - eeek !

jj we have tried infacol after a 3 hour scream-fest a few evenings ago. It seems to work a treat, but tricky to tell if the scream-fest was a one-off or not... anyway DS loves the taste . Poor you struggling with DH, you are not alone, my DP is doing my head in moaning about lack of sleep when he loses about 30 mins a night ! Also he said to me the other night to do the night feed and change and he'd get up for the morning feed and let me sleep... then in the morning was happy for me to do feed and take a shower while he slept , I think he forgets am recovering from a big op ! Anyway, I reckon it is natural to lose the head a wee bit and tiredness does not help with perspective. also am with you on hurting with love - I am so overwhelmed by how I feel for the wee man, I can cry just looking at him.

SL at people's stupid comments.

Oh and the good news from here is that DS took the boob last night !! I have tried a few feeds since then (in fact all except 1) and he has latched on successfully each time (eventually) and sucked for 10-15 mins which seems to be enough for him . How long are other BFers feeding for ? that is the tricky thing now, we had settled into a wee routine with times but now he seems to need fed more often and have no idea how much he is taking... It hurts a lot but am so glad I persevered

Mibbes well done you, that is brill you should be very proud. DS only fed for about 10 min when he was in a routine longer and more frequently if he was having a growth spurt.

SL that is a load of crap about the heartburn I was still taking gaviscon with DS when I was 8cm dilated!

Verso did you ask about something for wind at night, a friend whose baby was difficult to settle at night because of wind after last feed found Colic Calm from a company on eBay and she has been settling much better.

JJ you poor thing, I also hold my hand up with the occasional frustrated snap at DS and being a little rough if it gets too much I 2nd the suggestion of putting DD somewhere she is safe then have a little time out for 5 or 10 mind she will be fine and you need to be a bit easier on yourself. DH needs to sort himself out because you need him right now and he is a big boy and can look after himself. A friend of mine is currently pregnant with type 1 and she is getting through it just takes a bit more planning. I hate to sound harsh on him but he needs to sort it out.

Good morning all. Have been having early labour contractions on & off since midnight have just gotten up as after throwing up a couple of hours ago I am now hungry. Also considering popping the TENS machine on soon so am just going to see how the next few contractions feel. They aren't that uncomfortable yet but I think you are supposed to put it on as early as possible for best effect. Last time I didn't put it on til 5cm.

Wow Veggie, how exciting!

Can you face eating, even a little bit? I ate through the early stages but couldn't face anything once the contractions were getting strong. I ended up shaking violently through every contraction, which the midwife said was due to low blood sugar. Also drink loads of fruit juice if you can - I made the mistake of drinking lots of RLT & tea with no sugar and lots of water when I should have been drinking something with loads of sugar in it.

Keep us posted.

Mmmm just not really intense enough yet might go see if I can get some more sleep. DS & DH are happily up there asleep so DS is in our bed so might join them for a bit see if I can get a little more rest before this kicks off properly.

Veggie Good luck!

mibbes I'm really pleased that the feeding has settled a bit and that he's latched on!

Am up; can't sleep. I think the nerves are starting to set in.

Went back to bed for a couple of hours of sleep and got woken at about 7.30 with a big contraction. Still irregular but on his way so that's nice.

Abbey you poor thing are you ok?

Sorry for the 'me' post, but I need some help, as had a bit of a meltdown last night over BF. DD fed much more than usual yesterday and by the evening I felt like I didn't really have any more to give her. She gave me a bit of a break to refill, but then woke up at 2am and fed until 5am. Just couldn't seem to get enough. So a couple of questions for our experts. Is it possible to run out of breastmilk? and can she really be feeding for that long, or is she just using me as a dummy? If that's the case, how can I tell when she has stopped feeding and what can I do about it?
Sorry for all the questions, but I really need to get this sorted as would have happily gone over to formula last night if I had any in the house. Had to leave DD with DH for half an hour to stop me from completely losing it which wasn't ideal as he had been to the pub and just slept through her crying!
Feeling absolutely knackered this morning and very weepy.

Good luck Veggie

Kayz ? what a whopper, well done you for delivering your big and strong baby boy Second only to Katie on the biggest baby sweepstake, and the first to deliver on your due date. Is your Dad still with you? I can?t remember what day he was supposed to leave, but I do hope he got to meet his new Grandson. And OMG the G&A ran out!!! You are superwoman.

Turnip/veggie ? thanks for the reassurance about the size of babyKayz ? but I?d rather not have a 10lb-er thanks!! And thanks to Reban too, of course you had size worries too ? in my ?me? frame of mind yesterday I?d forgotten about that. I?m going to try to do lots of jobs this weekend to keep myself busy (oh, and a marathon watching of strictly tonight) so that Monday comes very quickly. DH is able to come with me on Monday, which I?m really pleased about ? this is his v busy time of year with work (he?s a sprout farmer, so you can guess his workload ?) I didn?t like to ask, but he offered to get someone else in on Monday afternoon, which I was really touched about as I know how much hassle it is for him. And yet more kind words, from Effie and SL ? you?ve really all helped me feel better about this, so thank you so much (oh blimey, I sound like I?m pissed with all my gratitude, will be telling you you?re my beshtest friends ever next, but it is so much appreciated)

Verso ? hurrah for DD being discharged and doing so well in putting all that weight on.

JJ ? sorry you?re feeling so down, you sound so tired and you?re working so hard, I hope you managed to get some good sleep last night after a tasty tea and relaxing bath. I can?t offer any advice, just a ((big hug)). Have you tried talking to your dh about him being alone with dd? It could be that he is equally worried. He won?t be the first parent with diabetes, or the last, so at his review they might be able to tell you how others cope with it.

Mibbes ? well done you for persevering with the feeds, it?s so great that DS is back to breast feeding. [big pat on the back to you and him for working through it]

Veggie ? how are you feeling now? I hope the TENS is doing a good job. How exciting that your new LO might be arriving into the world today!

Abby ? how are you doing? Have your contractions/pains all stopped now? Only 48 hours (well less) til Monday, I hope this weekend is a good one for you and you have happy memories of your time just before babyAbby arrives.

Katie ? a ((big hug)) to you too, you sound like you need it.

ZJ sorry to hear you are so worried - know how you are feeling. I had growth scans from 32 weeks every fortnight til 38 weeks when they decided nothing was wrong....babyOrange went from being ginormous to having not grown to having grown a bit to being just over average. So if there can be that much discrepancy with scan measurements then external measurements must be even less reliable due to babi's position etc. In all this time I have only ever had my MW do my fundal measurent twice (in the last 2 weeks) due to mainly being consultant led, and they have been either spot on or near enough each time. Try not to worry and good luck for monday