March 2009: Pelvic pain, sciatica, and getting kicked in the ribs: Are we prize fighters or just entering the third trimester?

[MKG]

Here's our new thread ladies.

You guys get so much time! I get a mere 12 weeks. (6 weeks paid for vaginal delivery, 8 for a C-section)

at the differential between breastfeeding and non-breastfeeding - seems a bit unfair on those who wanted to but couldn't do it - and how do you prove it - are there Belgium bf police?!

I suppose the benefit is time off on full pay then p-t pay.

It is so difficult to imagine how you will feel. Before I had dd I was heading back to work full time. I remember when she was 5mo sitting on the sofa and sobbing to dh that I just couldn't do it - hence why I work 4days a week. But now I wouldn't be so distraught at the thought of full time work - it was just so hard with my pfb

On the flip side I know mums who have gone back to work full-time after 3months leave and it hasn't bothered them at all. They don't love their children any less - they were just able to take that step.

I was just floored by this huge maternal need to nurture and protect - if you'd known me pre-dd you would never have believed I'd end up like that.

I also think I may have had mild pnd after dd which I have to say didn't lift until she was 6mo. One day I was a neurotic over-protective mess, then the next everything seemed to shift back into normality. I suppose this time round me and dh know what to watch out for and he is under strict instructions to get me down to the docs if he spots any signs of me being a bit out of kilter!

sorry for mammoth post - must head off now - soft play awaits !

Meep-I left ds1 when he was 4 weeks old. I had to because I was the money maker in the family. It didn't phase me at all.

When ds2 was 4 weeks old I looked at ds1 and cried because I couldn't believe I left him when he was so little.

Hello ladies,

I'm planning to take the full 12 months off - I'm on full pay for 3 1/2 months, then SMP upto 6 months, then nothing. I've been saving for the last few years, and think that it's a worthwhile cause to blow the savings on time with my new baby. My DH is being made redundant at the end of March, but he has a pretty good job and has been there for nearly 10 years, so will get a good payout. Fingers crossed he gets a new job by the summer otherwise I'll prob have to rethink my full year off.
I would love to go back to work p/t but know many others who have had this turned down, so don't think it will be an option unless I apply for another role within the company - I also work for a major bank, so who knows if there will be a job for me to go back to......

Went for a tour around my local maternity ward last night - I almost wish that I hadn't. The delivery suite was awful - very unwelcoming, out-dated, shabby, stained sheets on the bed - I felt like bursting into tears there and then (but was there as part of my parentcraft class). The hospital also has a brand new birthing centre which we were shown around, and which was the opposite of the delivery suite in all ways, but is not an option for anyone who has had any pregnancy complications (i.e. me). I wish I hadn't seen it as am now really depressed about what I can't have.

I don't know whether it was the stress that set me off, but during the visit we watched a real live newborn baby being bathed, and during the demonstration I started with peroiod pain type tightenings every 5 mins - my BH have all been painless up to this point - I really thought that this was it. Anyway, I went home, lay on the sofa and drank loads of water and they stopped after a couple of hours.

One last thing to add to this ginormous post - I'm writing my birth plan and have to say whether I want the baby to be given vitamin K - does anyone know what this is all about?

Lizziemum - So sorry to hear about your dad. Was he the one who had cancer? I hope the funeral goes ok for you all, must be really tough right now.

Meep Glad you managed to get more time off organised. I had to go back to work (or actually, get a new job) when DD2 was about 6 months as I had started my mat leave so early to get the hell away from the last place! I would have liked to have stayed off. BUT here's the irony;

Now this week, I am on a serious downer because I have finished at work, but I think it's different because I know I won't be going back. I can't afford two childcares, so I'm really sad I've left and now all of a sudden I'm feeling a bit trapped that it will just be domestic duties and babies from here on it. I think this has been compounded because I'm having such an awful week with DD2 being ill, still not a huge improvement and was still awake most of last night. I tried putting her down just now and she's screaming the house down. I'd better go get her, she doesn't sound like she wants to sleep.

I think I'm also so fed up of being limited in where I can go and what I can do cos I'm so sore and pregnant. I'm sure I'll feel better soon. Sorry for bringing the thread down - just one of those weeks I guess.

Hi All

Wow - its busy around here !

Lizzie - sorry to hear about your Dad.

Goldmother - here's some info about vitamin K www.nct.org.uk/info-centre/publications/view/35 Its to stop the baby haeomorraging - which is quite rare. However, the controversy with it was that a study showed some links to childhood leukemia which have since been disproven. Anyway, the attached should explain it. DD had the injection (to be honest, she had to come out early and was all a bit stressful so by the time they asked us we weren't really in a fit state to make any sort of decision).

Slickbird - sorry to hear you're feeling down at the domestic drudgery ahead. I've been at home for 4 years now and to be honest, I think its what you make of it. I don't know if you've had the chance to meet friends through you're other children but eventually you find people you click with and providing you don't let yourself get bogged down with the domestic stuff (my top tip is to have a cleaner if that's an option but know its not for everyone). I didn't really intend to have 4 years off with just dd but am pleased I have and expect I will with this one providing DH gets well enough to get back to work full time.

Right, should be doing something constructive - have dd's 4th birthday and party for 30 little terrors darlings on saturday. Just need to make the damn barbie cake and everything will be under control....

slickbird - I think your dd2 and my dd are about the same age (born summer 07?) - night wakings at their age are awful - they can pack so much emotion into their nocturnal wailing - and it is exhausting.

MKG - 4weeks old - you brave lady!

wheelybug - 30 four year olds - you are a brave lady too !

brave or stupid - take your pick ?! . Actually, its 23 4 year olds and 7 1 year olds....

Oh god. What have I done....

Oh Wheelybug, minus the babies that's everyday for me!! However, we don't usual give them anything with any sugar in (for good reason, as I'm sure you realise.) have fun .

I would like my iron tablets now please. I nearly fainted at work again today and had to be revived with chocolate by my boss!

Wow! cant believe how much mat leave varies! I will probably take the 52 weeks off plus the 4 weeks annual leave so wont go back till march next year. if i go back at all. Will have to wait and see.

Very uneventful mw appt today. Bump measures bang on. Wee fine. Head down. Nothing to report really which is great news.

Slickbird I understand how you feel. Have decided this week that I need to start planning things to keep me busy once on leave because I get bored and watch tv all day or go mad cleaning the house all day. Either way I dont get out much!

Wheelybug Rather you than me. Are other mums staying or do you have to cope alone?

Goldmother OMG I am horrified for you. If I were you I would stay at home as long as poss and only go in at last second to give birth! In fact, that is what I plan to do anyway. Cant believe they use stained sheets.
Hope its at bit nicer on the ward afterwards.

Hello, I found your link on a different thread and could I please join?

I'm due 22nd March with dc2 - a boy! We found out (didn't with DD1) but haven't told anyone so it's fun with people adament I'm having a girl.

I am the size of a house (literally a house) and having trouble walking as I have come down with sciatica down my left side. But in all feeling ok half looking forward to seeing my new baby - but the other half dreading life with a new one plus a 2 year old running round!

My DD1 just turned 2 last week and is adamont she doesn't want a baby brother - great! So unorganised with this pregnancy due to bad sickness / sciatica and general pretending this ain't happening - so no nursery prepared, no hospital bag packed. Must must get sorted soon x

Sorry for the long post - how many people having March babies? June 08 something in the water!

welcome duckquackquack !

LOL Laweasel - I guess I only have to have them for 2 hours as well (and an hour of that will be, fingers crossed, controlled by the entertainer !!).

I do have help - my parents, MIL, BIL (although not sure he'll be that useful) and one of dd's godmothers will be there all unencumbered by children. Then some parents will stay I think, some won't (those with 1 year olds will !). I'm not too worried to be honest at the moment - I'm more worried about the birthday cake currently cooking in my oven and whether it will rise sufficiently to look like Barbie's skirt (then tomorrow I have the stress of decorating it !).

Hi all, thought I'd join the thread. I'm due March 3 and we're keeping the sex a surprise. Thought it would be a girl in the beginning but now I'm not so sure.

I've been having moving stress like some of you on the thread -- we're looking for a new flat and need to find one by mid-Feb. We've put in offers on two different properties only to have both fall through b/c of changes of mind on the landlord's end. Very frustrating and I'm starting to get a bit panicky about the whole thing. I have visions of wandering the streets of London homeless with a newborn...

Besides that though, everything's going pretty well. We finished our hypnobirthing classes. I've been buying some baby stuff though could probably use a few more things.

Anyway, glad to have found this thead !

Hi everyone, and welcome sanserif, I'm in a similar boat to you - I'm due on March 4 and it looks like we might be moving house on Feb 20! I feel v with the woman buying our flat because she's delayed and delayed the process knowing full well when I'm due, just so she could gazunder us just after Xmas. Am trying to remain calm and zen-like, but it's tough.

duckqq I'm having a similar problem with my 2 year old dd, who doesn't seem interested in babies at all - whenever I hold my friend's baby she gets distressed and wants me to pick her up (saying 'baby off'!), so I'm getting a little nervous about how she'll handle a little sister!

goldmother I too am v jealous of anyone able to use the natural birthing room at my hospital as it sounds just like your one - (I can't use it either ). At least once you're in the throes of labour you won't notice the decor! And you'll be able to have an epidural if you want one (in my hospital you can't have one if you're in the 'natural' bit)...

Slickbird

Yes he did have cancer, at the moment i feel like i'm just going through the motions. I think i do a 'half' birthday party for dd1 in the summer to make up for this year.

Welcome to the new comers.

I have to say I will be dragging dh to have the 'snip' this year and not leaving it to him to sort out .

As a SAHM i think my maternity leave will start when i go into labour and finish when i get back from the hospital .

I'm dreading what dd2 (16mths) will be like as she hates it when dd1 sit on what left of my lap for a cuddle. She pushes her, pulls her anything just to get dd1 of. And then sticks to me like glue for the next half an hour.

Ok can i have the award for foggiest baby brain please!

On weds i was feelin rubbish after a sleepless night (wriggling baby = upset tummy!)After taking DD to playschool went to petrol station and put £20 of unleaded petrol in DH Diesel car! I had pulled in wrong side anyway so had to pull the hose over the car and i didnt even see the sticker saying 'Diesel!'

Anyway a very understanding DH (also v tired after working night shift, bless) sorted it out and car ok.

Then yest DH dropped me at work in evening then went off for night shift 45mins away, and when MIL picked me up i realised i hadnt brought a house key so me and DD were locked out for evening! so stayed at In laws and DH picked us up this morning!

Feel free to all have a good laugh at me! I feel soooooooooo silly!

I think the award can go to you as I am not that bad and I feel completely foggy lately! Glad cars ok!

I had a really bad nights sleep last night. Was hot, then cold, kept waking up needing drink, wee, more blanket, less blanket etc.
the worst thing was thinking i had been asleep for hours but then realising i was waking up every half hour. needless to say i feel a bit rough this morning and nearly over slept the nursery run!

lizziemum, really sorry to hear about your dad, and snap on the snips!

Well ladies, as well as my ongoing upset tum issues, I've now got a cold to boot! Am cuddled on the sofa with a duvet while DS makes the most of a day of Igglepiggle. I really want a hot Ribena, a cuddle and my mum and I'm 28!

Morning all.

Lizzie--I'm sorry about your dad. My dad died of cancer about 4 years ago and it didn't hit me until a few months after. I called him to ask for directions (he knew how to get everywhere) and realized I couldn't do that anywhere. That is when I stopped going through the motions and started grieving. It's different for everyone.

This baby is so low it feels like she's going to fall out of my fanjo at any minute. I feel so much pressure it's ridiculous. I get to have another ultrasound on Tuesday to check her growth and I'm excited to see her again. Hopefully they'll tell me she's growing nicely and not too big.

hi all

Just a quick message to say my dd arrived by emergency c-section at 31+4 last Saturday after I was diagnosed with pre-eclampsia on the monday before. Really strange as had no previous bp problems, but suddenly had flashing lights and numbness on right side.

Baby is doing really well in NICU but they have kept me in as my liver functions still haven't returned to normal. Will be strange to go home (soon I hope) and leave her behind - does anyone have experience of this?

So much for my home birth & birthing pool plans!

corgikelly have you seen THIS

Congrates flannelcat. I hope you and your dd home soon.

Sorry i have no experience of very early babies.

Oh wow Flannelcat - congratulations and hope all is ok. I don't have any experience (I had pre-eclampsia and my dd had IUGR but managed to hold out until 37 weeks) but I remember someone here does - Laumiere ??

Keep us posted - does she have a name ?

waves at flannelcat

Hiya, DS1 was born vaginally at 31+5 after unexpected membrane rupture. If you want to chat a bit more, you can email me on ladydiventa at hotmail.com.

Hi lizzie -- I heard about the Dendermonde creche on the radio this afternoon. 'Tis horrible, just horrible. Those poor parents.

And the MN thread is right there's not a lot of security for the creches here anyone can blag their way in.

After the Dutroux pedophilia events of several years ago, I didn't have many illusions about Belgium -- but if I had, this would stop them in a hurry.