Due Fab Feb 2009: the Curry and Cake Club

[onwardandupward]

Here is our new thread!

laidback - if you're in america and you have a boy they really ARE considered an essential!

I'm very pissed off as my doctor got me a referral to the physio but it's just a women's health clinic (including pelvic floor stuff) but I want treatment - aargh!

On the topic of routine etc parenting - guess am sort of a combination of all of the above. Definitely have AP tendencies (but that was more because DS had a traumatic entry into the world) but by the time he'd got to 4 months, it turned out he was a natural routine setting baby, so we sort of followed the routine he wanted (nap when he wanted, feed when he wanted etc.) as made life much easier. Did read both GF and BabyWhisperer before had DS but didnt follow either of them - DH was keen to follow one or both but I wasnt, so we had that argument and just ended up going with the flow.

I think the way you end up parenting very much depends on your personality and your baby's personality - each one is different and each to their own. I definitely dont believe in there being a single right way to parent and think that lots of first time mums put themselves under intense pressure to do the right thing according to the books, when sometimes going with the flow is much easier for everyone concerned.

Oh, and I was a pureeing (but with toast - DS's third word after mummy and book - daddy came WAY down the line) and disposables mum first time round. Suspect I will be again this time round but will see what works best for us.

Bugger! That means I have to wait another 2 weeks before I can start making demands!

hope all is well with TBM, good news that she's not dilating so far. must be so stressful for her and TBD dealing with all this with Tink to think of too. hope lo stays put a while longer.

i waited before using washables for the simple reason that my nappies were waaaaay too big on newborns (was using prefolds with the other 2 at that stage). apparently the black tar poo actually washes out surpirsingly easily (according to the collected wisdom of MN anyway). i'll be using muslins done in nappy folds for a few weeks until baby fits the washables as we have no rubbish collection and the thought of a few hundred stinking sposies in bags outside the door and having to drive them to the dump makes me heave.

laid back.... americans are crazy! funnily ds rarely peed on me, it was dd who peed every time her nappy was off and it invariably ran off the changing mat onto my bed before i could get a cloth clamped on her. i used walk around for months with vomit on my top and pee on my pants when she was tiny..... i never had either problem with ds!

As I'm having a 2nd ds, I had to look at the peepeeteepees - they have their uses, but I bet that you'd never get it in the right place at the right time. You can protect yourself with a baby towel and throw that in the machine when it gets hit! Thanks for the giggle anyway.

MarkStretch, think you ought to raise it anyway, try and get them to take how you feel into account rather than exact dates. Wouldn't it be better for them to modify things than have you take time off sick? Even if that's not going to work, might be useful to remind your manager that you're nearly 6 months and suggest a meeting to review caseload/working from home etc, or you might still be waiting for things to be sorted out at 30 weeks. Good luck.

Hi all
had a very unproductive morning......this is not good. Have list of things I must do this pm so hopefully I'll get motivated.....Had some shenanigans re my job today. I do a jobshare with a colleague who would obviously still be here when I go on mat leave. I do intend to come back... With the economic climate being as it is, our dept is not busy at all and I was quite concerned about whether I'd still have a job when I got back. It's been suggested that my jobshare might like to take "mat leave" with me so that effectively they aren't paying for our role (crap mat pay stuff here so only statutory) for the best part of next financial year. I naturally jumped to the conclusion that by doing that, if there's another round of redundancies that we'll be next out the door on the grounds of "out of mind" ( I know they can't really do it that way but I'm sure alsorts can be engineered). I've voiced my concerns to the dept partner today who has assured me that it would all be done on the correct basis if it came to it at all and that just because we're not here does not make us an easy target. Here or not they'll do what they want to do so I suppose I can't worry about it. My jobshare doesn't need the money too much (whereas we could really do with it) and the working environment here at the moment ain't great so I think she'd like a break from the politics until hopefully it picks up a bit. I suppose I have better things to worry about but I really hope that this isn't the end of my career for now !!.....

Hope we hear from TM soon.....

Sorry your work are being so crap Herbgarden - try not to let it unduly stress you though (as being on maternity leave, hopefully you have a strong case for arguing unfair discrimination if they do make you redundant, which will make them think twice!) as you cant spend the next 9 months or so worrying about all this.

mmm, it also might work in our favour since if we're both not here it saves the dept money and they then (in this financial year)if it comes to it they won't have to make anyone redundant. I have said that "we" can extend our mat leave if necessary to give them more breathing space come August next year if we have to so that I could then take another 5 - 6 months out - they can then get us back knowing us and without having to pay agency fees for new employees. We're not the only ones in this situation

At least if DH retains his job then that's something but I know I'm not cut out for full time SAHMdom.....I've got a short enough fuse as it is !!!! I s'pose I'd have to look around then and my jobshare has said that we could look as a package (not sure how many people would want that ) but we'll see. You're right, I can't worry too much. Might love being off full time and never want to come back !

I've been abroad for a week and you have been busy! I haven't had time to read through all but good luck Tinks, will be thinking about you!

I've felt exhausted for awhile now and will take a few days off work to rest. I'm absolutely shattered, luckily my mother is coming around to help us out with DS. BTW, DH did stop complaining about being tired after work since he spent all last week juggling work, DS, the dog and general household stuff by himself Small victory! He had even cleaned the house and ordered some groceries on Friday for the first time in ages. I should go away more often.

Oh my goodness, so much has been happening since I was last here on thursday I hope TBM & TinyTink are ok....as well as the rest of you - car accidents, bleeds, job worries, decorating, stress incontinence - what a busy weekend we've all had. I've just had my mother to stay who has been surprisingly helpful, non-moany and happy to play with DS

I'm looking forward to joining the house-in-chaos gang soon fingers-crossed, time is almost up on the consultation period on our planning app to alter our roof for our loft conversion to give us a 4th bedroom once DC2 arrives, but i;m not sure it will all be done if we get pp by the time DC2 arrives.

DS didn't go into washables till he was about 6 weeks old as the ones I chose only started at 10lb, but I've got some in smaller sizes this time, which as DS will be in washables figured DC2 might as well be in them once cord falls off (NB disposables usually have a little bit cut off the waitsband to go round the stump)

Have my fingers crossed for TBM and hope all is ok

KazzaL - we've put our building plans (inc loft extension being redone and side return) on hold until some time next year as DH and I are both fairly unsure about our jobs (am a lawyer and he's an investment banker). We were planning quite a major exercise (moving ceilings, redoing plumbing etc) in house we bought in February - we figure its livable in for time being so we'll wait until things seem abit more secure. That said, builders are pretty quiet at the moment so if you've sourced everything you want to use by the time the permission comes through you should be able to get a straightforward loft extension done by end of Jan.

America - when I was away this weekend with friends and their kids, it made me laugh that one dad was complaining because his wife was leaving him alone with his 2 year old and 4 month old for 40 minutes so she could go get a head massage (when she's alone with both of them ALL DAY when he's at work). Guys definitely dont understand what our lot is like!

Interesting KazzaL - cord stump hadn't occured to me. I guess we'll use disposables at first then - when do they usually fall off? Lucky that your mum was so helpfull - I take it you weren't expecting that?!

And yay for your hubby america now he's done it once, he's gonna have to keep doing it! hehe!

I can't get on FB at work, so can't check for updates from Tink, but she does have my mobile number, and as I haven't heard anything by text, I'm assuming things are still as they were before.

From alexanderpandasmum on the other thread:

Another message from TinkerBelle's mum at 9:25am:

"They're stopping the drugs at 5 and if it happens they're going with it now as the steroids will have had over 48 hrs to work."

I replied and asked her how she was feeling and she says she's worn out, had 3-4 contractions an hour and more when the next dose of is due. SHe says she hasn't slept much because they had the aircon on .

So it looks like she'll probably be here sooner rather than later.

You also might be able to get a good deal if the builders aren't busy.....

We are living in a 1960's retro horror which so desperately needs doing up but we had to be a bit creative when we bought it as houses on the road we've bought on don't come up very often (we've bought the worst house on the road) . This one came up was ripe for the picking and was a bit of a bargain (classic old lady lived in it and then moved in with her children - she wasn't completely past it so it wasn't as bad as it could have been !) . We almost have less living space than before which is a pain in the arse but we do have a garage which is fab and a bigger garden....

We couldn't sell our own house so have ended up also buying the house off the people who bought ours (they were bottom of the chain) - they had a little terrace in the town which is perfect for renting and the rental market round here is buoyant. The drawback is that our renovation money is in the rental so we now have a rental we don't particularly want and a retro house which desperately needs doing up and which we can't afford to do until we can sell the rental........We'll be sitting it out for a while me thinks but at least we now don't have to move from here for a long long time so we might be able to do things in stages...

America - impressed with your dh - keep up the good work !! Dinky at your friends dh - and I thought mine was bad enough - he does at least ask when he's had a morning off if I'd like to do anything for the rest of the day and he'll take ds off alone !

Latest update:

"They've told me that they're stopping this afternoon and not going to do anything to stop it. Just had a visit from doctor while typing this. He said if nothing happens by Wednesday they'll send me home so I can be back under my own team. Mum's on her way back, she's supposed to be in court all week but she came as soon as today finished as she didn't have time to not go today. Fortunately her boss is Isobel's godfather so he's sympathetic."

Forgot that when I got messages on FB they also email me the message! This was within the last hour, I think. It sounds like mixed news I guess - on the one hand, lo's still in, and she's going back to closer to home, but on the other hand, it doesn't look like they're doing much to keep baby in any longer - is that usual policy?

afaik the drugs to stop labour can't be used long term as they can do more harm than good so if they haven't worked by now they'd be better off letting nature do her thing and treating baby outside the womb

hope it doesn't come to that

mrsy-i'll be using real nappies from when she pops out cause I have a long walk to get rid of disposables. Not a problem for me though as I'll be having a home birth anyway so no need to worry about how to make it work in a hospital. Can confirm though that meconium washes off really easily as 60degrees. Easiest thing to do is to buy disposable/flushable liners for first few weeks then you can flush worst of contects away.
Do you plan to put anything in bucket e.g. wet/dry paling, nappysan/teatree oil??

chilledmama - have disposable liners for at first, and then fleece ones for when things get more managable.

I'm also planning a home birth, so that makes things easier - did you find the cord stump an issue?

I have posted a question about washable laundry, and was going to dry pale and use non-bio at 40 or 60, depending on soiling level. I do have some ecover nappysan stuff, which I think I'll use, but maybe not ALL the time.

What does teatree oil do? I saw some for sale linked to washable nappies, but thought it was more for smell than anything else...

Does anyone else find it a bit annoying that reusables are so hard to find in shops? I have found 1 packet of flexitots in John Lewis and nothing else.

I want to be able to get it all out and see how it works before I spend a load of money.

evening all hope you are all well. TBM hope little one stays in there for a few more weeks, thinking of you!!

MS - some places offer a nappy demonstration service - see Nappy lady link...

www.thenappylady.co.uk/public/articledetails.aspx?id=223

and these people (I bought mine from them)

www.bebeco.co.uk/nappy-demonstrations-31-c.asp

You can then have a good look at what you are paying for !

I used muslins for the first 3 or so weeks inside a wrap. Seemed to work ok and not irritate the cord stump.

Hoping we'll here some news from TBM soon. I was looking at stats earlier and things improve drastically between 25 and 26 weeks so big love and stickiness going off to TBM and her little baby for as much womb time as possible.

Evening everyone. Hope everyone's well today?

I didn't use reusables at first as DS was so tiny that he didnt fit newborn so I dont even know if the cord is an issue but would find it easier to use sposies in hospital. I tried soaking but definately dry pail all the time.

Well I am now off on the sick for a few days as due to several stresses at work and stupidly long weeks I have high BP. I have also have had really bad headaches (had those for weeks though) so I am snuggled up at home with a cuppa and a BP monitor

Have the computer for once for about 20 mins as hubby is out getting me fooooood. Living the high life me!

Oh spotty, put your feet up. When are you hoping to start your maternity leave ? Are you counting the days ?